literature

Stationery Pt IV

Deviation Actions

monstroooo's avatar
By monstroooo
10 Favourites
41 Comments
704 Views

Literature Text

Harvey talked a lot during the short journey from the post room to Greening's office. He spoke about potential, about achievement, about revenue streams and profit margins. Stanley didn't say a word. He just stared at the floor. Harvey's associates didn't say much, either. But he carried on talking anyway, a smile on his face like nothing in the world was wrong.

Whenever Earle Greening spoke, Stanley was rapt. Every word seemed measured, important, and enriched by years of wisdom. Stanley didn't think he'd ever missed a word that Greening had said. But as Harvey's empty words filled the lift and the lifeless corridors of Greenlight Insurance, not a single one registered with Stanley's brain.

His stomach stung from the earlier beating.

"Alright, Stan man, it's game time," Harvey said, clapping Stanley on the shoulder. Without a word, Stanley pulled a set of keys from his pocket, shuffled around with them awkwardly, and opened the door to Greening's office.

Normally, Stanley couldn't enter this room without a smile creeping across his face. From the thick wooden bookshelves lined with leather-bound books; to the huge mahogany desk ornamented with neatly arranged silver and gold paraphernalia, there were wonders at every turn.

But today, the office felt lifeless, empty and cold. Harvey flicked a switch and the room was drowned in bright light, even the shadows receding at his presence.

"Come on," Harvey said. "Look alive!"

Stanley walked over to the desk and pushed a button on the beige box that lay beneath it. It buzzed into life, text appearing on a screen. Stanley moved to sit down – but paused when he saw the green leather office chair. That had cost Greening a small fortune. They had spent hours poring over magazines trying to decide the right one.

"A man's only ever as comfortable as his buttocks, Stanley," Greening had said. "The older get you get, the more you start thinking about what's under your arse."

It suddenly occurred to Stanley that to sit in that chair, to sit in Earle's chair, would be a betrayal. It was bad enough that he was breaking into his office like this. But to take his seat seemed so much more personal.

He pushed the chair away and tapped a few buttons on the keyboard. A log-in prompt appeared against a turquoise background. Stanley entered egreening into the "username" field and ruby44 into the box marked "password." Greening's German Shepherd, Ruby, was the pride of his life.

"Sit down, Stan," Harvey said, collapsing into a black leather armchair at the back of the spacious office. "This will take a few minutes," he added.

"No, thanks," Stanley replied. "You wanted to send an email?"

"Yes," Harvey said, picking up a  glossy Country Life magazine and flicking casually through its pages. "Make it out to myself, Ross Forsythe, Mike Appleton and John Henry. Oh, you'll want to add the heads, too, Lucy Davenport and Costa DeFranco."

Stanley clicked away busily, leaning forward against the desk as he composed a new e-mail. This form of electronic communication was a black art to most people (Greening was finally getting the hang of it, although he dismissed it as "a toy, you know Stanley, a way for people to waste hours urgently sending empty messages to one another"), but to Stanley it was as natural and simple a process as stamping an envelope. He clicked the names of the Greenlight Insurance executive board, and the heads of the marketing and underwriting departments, into the "to" field.

Harvey proceeded to recite the urgent e-mail which had already  caused so much trouble. With increasing incredulity, Stanley typed up a confessional explanation for the recent failings of the company at the hands Earle Greening, laden with apologies and grave misjudgements.

"And we'll finish it with," Harvey paused here, staring at the ceiling as if seeking some divine inspiration. "Ah, yes, 'For this reason, I immediately-' no, scrap that, 'I henceforth announce my resignation as Managing Director of Greenlight Insurance, effective immediately. I entrust all responsibility over the company's holdings to the board.'"

Stanley stopped typing.

"You can't be serious."

"Just type the damn e-mail, Stan."

"There's no way this will work, as soon as Earle finds out-"

"It's done, Stan.  This is just a formality at this stage, everything has been actioned. The board will form an emergency meeting tomorrow and decide on a new managing director. I honestly don't know who they'll appoint," he added with a mischievous grin. "Now, did you get everything?"

Stanley's eyes flicked from the keyboard, to the burly shadows at the door, and to Harvey's eyes, which suddenly seemed to have found some warmth. He was powerless.

"Yes," he confirmed with a sigh.

"Good. Sign it off, print half- a dozen copies, and get the thing sent away."

Stanley did. A small bubblejet printer, sat in the far corner of the office on a small-ish cupboard, grumbled into labour. Stanley walked over to it and took up the sheets of paper as they fed through. He looked sadly at the smooth text on the page. The paper wasn't warm, unlike that which came from the bulky Laserjet downstairs. But the lines were clean and clear, the paper thick and smooth to the touch, but with a fine grain just about perceptible when you held it to the light. Stanley was still gazing at the soothing letterhead when the printer fell silent.

"All done?" Harvey asked. He was sat in Greening's chair, a small silver globe spinning in his hands.

"Er, yeah. We finished?"

"Great!" Harvey leaped from the chair, placed the globe carelessly on the desk, and jerked the stack of paper from Stanley's hands. He flicked through, checking each sheet in turn.

"Excellent," he mumbled half under his breath. "Yes. Fucking yeah."

"Gentleman," Harvey said, looking up. "It's been a long day, and I think we're owed a celebration. Let's get out of here."

No-one replied. Three silent shadows followed Harvey out of the office.

"Things are going to get pretty tasty around here. But come and see me when things have quietened down, Stanley," Harvey said, holding out his hand. "I was serious about that reward."

Stanley stood in the doorway, unmoving.

"Alright," Harvey said, withdrawing his hand and pulling on his black leather gloves once more. "Have it your way."

He turned and left, followed by his predatory associates.

Stanley locked Greening's door, tested the handle, and left the building.
~o~
Stanley was at a loss that evening. He couldn't eat when he got home. His sore stomach was cramping badly; he didn't think he could hold anything down. He turned the television on, then soon switched it off again. He left the house, went to the off-licence at the corner of his street, and looked at the array of vodka and whiskey bottles on the dirty shelf behind the till. He left empty handed.

In the end Stanley climbed into bed and stared at the dark for hours. He didn't think he'd fallen asleep, but twice woke up in a cold sweat. He stared at his alarm and waited for it to go off, then rose slowly from his bed.

He couldn't face it.

He called in sick for the first time in three years. He told the girl in Human Resources, Heather (she liked to keep a red Biro at her desk to revise her letters), that he'd be in tomorrow.

He said the same thing the next day. The weekend came and went. On Monday, Heather told him to take his time coming back. Stanley had months of holiday backed up and it was easy to get a temp in. Stanley thanked her and went for another long walk.

Three weeks later, Stanley built up the courage to get back to work. He entered the office at six forty-five on Monday morning, heart racing and nerves fraught. He left a note on Heather's desk before heading straight to the post room. It was a complete mess. It took Stanley an hour to restore some order to the place before he could even start shifting through the post. A temp arrived, looking confused; Stanley sent him to Human Resources for Heather to sort out.

He was just finding some rhythm (but no joy) from his work when Rachel breezed past the door.

"Stanley? Hey!" She said, stuffing a packet of cigarettes back into her handbag. "Where have you been?"

"Morning Rachel," Stanley said, more warmly than he felt. "I've... I've been unwell."

"Oh, poor thing," Rachel cooed. She looked lovely. Her hair was down today, falling just far enough to touch her shoulders."You've missed all the excitement!"

Stanley had forgotten how she made his pulse race just by being in the same room; how beautiful a single person could be in the flesh; how much a simple smile could both warm and strain his heart all at once.

"So I hear," he said, waving a letter addressed to 'the call centre manager'. "Aaron got promoted, huh?"

"Yeah," Rachel said, leaning against the doorway. "I'm team leader now!" she beamed.

"That's great."

"Isn't it? Look, I've got to run, Stanley. Nice talking!"

"Oh, right, well, I'll see you later?"

"Sure!" she called back, trotting towards the lift to the Office.

The day rather seemed to lose its meaning, after that. Stanley got back into the rhythm of organising the inbound mail. The temp came back, apologetically; Stanley send him out with the post cart. At lunch time, he headed to the canteen on the first floor. It was only eleven-thirty, early for most people's lunch, so it was quiet. Stanley sat alone, flicking listlessly through The Sun, until a familiar voice came from the doorway.

"Stan! Hey!" Harvey stood there, a paper file in one hand, one of those lifeless smiles plastered across his face. "How've you been?"

"Fine." Stanley replied.

"Great, that's great! Listen, Stan, things are really kicking off. Thanks to you, we're heading into the future. Twenty-first century, here we come!"

"What do you mean?" Stanley asked, puzzled.

"You've not heard?"

"Heard what?"

"Stan, you're going to love this: we're joining the twenty-first century, buddy! Watch this space, within three months we'll be the country's leading paperless office!"

Words died in Stanley's throat.

"You come and see me when you want to talk about that thing," Harvey said, giving Stanley a knowing nod and walking away.

Stanley closed the newspaper and threw the rest of his sandwich away.
The fourth and final part of Stationery; in which we learn that nothing is stationary forever.

<-- Previous :#: <fin>

I'm learning and developing my writing skills all the time. This site, and all the wonderful comments I've received through it, have taught me a lot. In the process of writing this, I've learned that I'm pretty good at starting stories. I've also learned that I'm pretty good at making uninteresting things seem interesting. But the suspicion grows that I'm not all that good at endings.

What I do hope is that the closing scene here allows readers a little space to fit their own interpretation of the story. I also hope that it raises an emotional reaction - I encourage my readers to share those reactions so that I can further my education. In a strange sort of way, I would be happy if people are upset or saddened (without being disappointed) by the story which unfolds over these final two chapters.



A short story in four acts, featuring the fetishisation (ish) of stationery and the moral decline of the corporation (to an extent).

This story represents quite a challenge for me because I've stepped away from all the clichés which define my writing. You'll find no fantasy themes, no western imagery, no whiskey (save for a brief thematic homage which I don't think counts) and not a single reference to folk music (not even outlaw country). Blimey.
Published:
© 2012 - 2021 monstroooo
Comments41
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
graphpaper01's avatar
The last four lines are just like a punch in the gut with a sock and a bar of soap.
monstroooo's avatar
Although I was naturally thrilled to see this DD today, I said to myself "The proof of the pudding won't be how many favourites I get on the first chapter - it'll be how many I get on the last".

Thank you for seeing it through to the end. Means a lot.
Faraleigh's avatar
Take five. I am so aggravated at this POS computer I’m using…..

“From the thick wooden bookshelves lined with leather-bound books; to the huge mahogany desk ornamented with neatly arranged silver and gold paraphernalia, there were wonders at every turn.” I’m shaky on the use of semicolons but as far as I’m aware they have to have complete sentences on both sides unless they’re just being used in lists. So I don’t think this use is proper. If I’m wrong, I’d love to hear why!

“It buzzed into life…” That seems like awkward wording. I would say “in” is better than “into”.

“…text appearing on a screen.” A screen? Shouldn’t it be the screen since there’s really only one screen available (I assume) and you’re wanting to indicate that specific screen?

Editing artifact? “The older get you get, the more you start thinking…”

Double space here: “picking up a glossy Country Life magazine” (between a and glossy). Here also: “e-mail which had already caused” (between already and caused).

“at the hands Earle Greening” At the hands of Earle Greening?

“"Yes. Fucking yeah."” There shouldn’t be a quote at the end of that since the next paragraph is his continued dialogue.

The very next paragraph starts with “"Gentleman,"” and should be plural.

“"Stanley? Hey!" She said…” “She” shouldn’t be capitalized.

“…shoulders."You've missed…”” Missing a space.

Typo: “Stanley send him out with the post cart.”

“"Fine." Stanley replied.” Should be a comma there.

I don’t remember if it was in this one or the last part where Harvey called Stanley Stanley instead of Stan. Thought I’d point it out in case it wasn’t intentional.

Now that all that craziness is out of the way, I can continue on to far more important things!

Love this line: “Harvey flicked a switch and the room was drowned in bright light, even the shadows receding at his presence.”

I love how the only real color you mention is beige, highlighting just how drab things are in Stanley’s life.

I love the dichotomy between what Earle and Harvey say. One is wisdom, the other drivel. Delightful.

Fantastic! “But to take his seat seemed so much more personal.” Great detail. Love it.

I love that you describe why Stanley knows Earle’s password. Not sure the subscript is necessary for the username and password values, though…

I really like the drawn-out description of what Stanley does when he goes home. Delightfully drab. I also really appreciate that he considered drinking but didn’t. That really lends something to his character and his blandness (as well as his misery).

I love how Stanley still focuses on Earle’s paper even after he’s done this terrible thing. I love the detail that the paper’s cold… like Stanley’s heart’s gone cold.

I’m curious about how Earle’s removal went down but I completely understand there’s no place for it in the story. Did he suspect Stanley was involved? Stanley was the only one with the skeleton key…

The ending seemed a little forced. The “leading paperless office” bit at least. Harvey was making that fact a big deal when I doubt that would be one of his top priorities after having acquired control of this insurance company. If it was an off-handed thing mentioned while talking about something much bigger (like expanding their customer base by X times or something?), it would make it even more poignant. It’s Stanley’s life, paper, and its loss is something trivial to Harvey and his vision.

I’m trying to think of a better way this could end, even if that means just rewording what’s there… Hmm… I’m not really sure, though. It might be interesting if Harvey sat down at Stanley’s table and just launched off into more inane drivel (of which we only hear the beginning, which includes the mention of a paperless office). Stanley loses his appetite but obediently remains there, acting like he’s listening. Maybe it even ends with one of Earle’s pearls of wisdom regarding paper and/or good business.
Alessaandra-the-Fair's avatar
If only Stanley had realized that the paper was in jeopardy! Would he have had the courage to stick to his convictions?

I sort of expected something better of Stanley in part 3, but when he wound up complying with the desires of the thugs, I sort of lost all hope. Having said that, this sort of ending is what I started to envision once it became obvious that he didn't have a trick up his sleeve.

Endings are terrible, I think, for everyone. I can't think of more than a handful of books I've read in my life that left me feeling satisfied in the end. Everything I read for happens in the beginnings and the the middles. Endings are just for sighing over, and wishing you hadn't bothered with them.
monstroooo's avatar
Good lord, you are a negative one! :giggle:

You know, I quite disagree. Endings are very important (and dangerous). A good ending can transform an OK story into a great one; a bad ending can turn a good story into a disappointing one.

They ARE very difficult to get right, though, and you'll never please everyone :no: I think in my case, it's an OK ending to an OK story. I wanted to leave space for the reader to think about what the story might mean, and what might happen to Stanley next. I've considered more conclusive endings, I've considered an epilogue, but it all seems to undermine what, to my mind, is the core theme of the story: be adaptable, because you never know what life has in store.

I appreciate you reading through :)
Alessaandra-the-Fair's avatar
Of course, endings are important, how are you going to move onto the next thing if you can't finish this one? But, seriously (in my mind), very, very few endings can justify having read the rest of the story to get to them. Which doesn't mean I didn't like the story. The endings that work out well are usually the ones that seem to have been written first; where the ending is the big pay-off or punchline. The stories that start out telling about a series of events that happened to someone on the way through their life, and the author doesn't even have a clear idea where he's headed when he starts? Those stories may have all kinds of entertainment value in them, but the endings? I honestly can't think of even ONE that impressed me.
RiFlight's avatar
AWWWWW! Poor Stanley! LOL

Because of the short length, it would be impractical to expect a grand ending. For those that feel let down - abrupt endings are just part of of the short story world. There's definitely enough characterization give a decent impression of the characters and because of the open quality of the ending, you could keep writing on this one. Maybe Stanley could stage a coup and get Harvey ousted? LOL

I thought the "sucker punch" ending was just fine. It's kind of a Flannery O'connor style story all together. You did well with this one.
monstroooo's avatar
Haha!

Thank you, I really appreciate that - and indeed all your feedback. You've certainly made me feel a lot better about the ending!
Meggie272's avatar
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Oh dear, that was a horrible ending. Very well-written, of course, but I could just feel Stanley's world collapsing around him. Oh gosh.
A wonderful story in all. I really like your style, it's smooth and easy to read and always interesting.
monstroooo's avatar
Thank you! :love: I was a bit worried you wouldn't finish the story, but I'm glad you did :eager:
Meggie272's avatar
Of course I would! My life would not be complete without knowing Stanley's end - as sad as it is. :( I just have a giiiiiiant build-up of messages in my dA inbox.
monstroooo's avatar
Oh, I know how those feel...

:heart:
KwatzHeWrote's avatar
Well, I appreciated the ending, which I find really original and perfect for your protagonist. It seems that there's an analogy between the two causes of the loss of beauty of Stanley's job, the first being his forced betrayal of his friend and employer, and the other the disappearance of the stationery he loved so much. This parallelism truly justifies the title and is, in my opinion, the most interesting characteristic of this piece, as long as the idea of a fetish for stationery and how you managed to depict it.
Well, my sensations...At the end the honest ones (and maybe the ingenuous) lose, as happens for Stanley and his employer, while the characters with opposite qualities win.
To me, the main message appears to be this one, unless there was something more subtle that I didn't catch. It is surely sad, but not disappointing.
I agree with you when you say that you are good in beginnings and in catching the reader's attention, but not when you say that you aren't for what concerns endings. I liked this one. (oh, the definition of ending that I'm using, is the very ending, the last scene)
It is the part just before the ending that in my opinion lacks something, but, as I said in one of my previous comments, it is a matter of tastes: you tell a story made of common and surely realistic events.
I was expecting something unusual, but I agree with you that also the usual deserves to be recounted since, after all, it is a huge part of our lives.
monstroooo's avatar
I thoroughly appreciate your candour, and your kindness.

The ending to the story, to date, has had a generally poor reception, I think. I honestly don't know whether you're the only reader so far who "gets it", or whether I've pitched the story incorrectly. It's a difficulty I'll have to struggle with for a time, until I decide whether it's me that's at fault, or my audience (the result will inevitably be that it's a little of both).

The idea behind the story was that Stanley's faults - his resolute determination to cling to easy victories (in stationery, his relationship with Greening, and indeed his relationship with Rachel) - are all brought into sharp focus by Harvey's callousness. Stanley is put into a position where he cannot win, because he has overcommitted to a life which makes him comfortable. I think from your response that your interpretation is along those lines, if not exactly identical. Certainly, it seems to me that you have the gist of the story. I rather suspect you've seen something that everyone else has not, rather than converse, but perhaps that's just what I want to think :confused:

I am happy with the story I've tried to tell. I have doubts about the execution. And I'll confess I'm worried about its general reception.

I am coming to the conclusion that an epilogue would allow me to offer more closure, as well as a more upbeat finale, without compromising on the morality of the original story. What's your reaction (if any) to such a notion? Of course, it would depend on how the epilogue was pitched and executed. But do you think there's potential in the idea? Do you understand why others are underwhelmed by my ending?

Any further insights are appreciated. But if you wish to just let your experience with the story lie as-is, that's completely fine :)

Thank you again for reading and commenting so far.
KwatzHeWrote's avatar
I don't think that an epilogue is what this story needs, even though I would be very curious to know what happens next.
I'm happy that you wrote down exactly the word that describes the sensations that I had when I read the first part of the story: "comfortable". That trait is what has made me uncomfortable with Stanley as a person, that being too "simple".
And that word explains everything and makes clear the meaning of the story, that, I'm truly sorry, I didn't catch completely. (I love stories that you have to think about to understand)
Now that you make me think about it, this piece appears to me much more interesting. Its message is subtle, since it is hidden behind the more showy event of the violence.
It is not Stanley's surrender to the blackmail and the subsequent betrayal the crucial point, but what happens immediately before, when he says substantially that he doesn't desire anything for himself to be bribed with. (If I understood correctly) And this is a very original message, but I think that you hid it too much behind the more obvious one, letting the reader focus on Greening's fall, while it is more a side event.
The solution, though, in this case, could be easier than writing an epilogue. Just describe with more details Stanley's thoughts when he refuses Harvey's proposals. You are good at it, you proved such when you depicted similar thoughts about stationery.
monstroooo's avatar
I think you're seeing the story in the same light that I am :nod:

I'm not sure about making things too explicit. I mean, there are different levels and undercurrents of all sorts of things going on here. The idea of Stanley being too comfortable and resistent to change is probably the core idea, but there are others. I like leaving things subtle enough for people to find their own interpretations. Perhaps I'm being too subtle; or perhaps people are just picking up on different themes, which is why the ending isn't clicking with people. Perhaps the message is just lost under the facade of stationery and the shock of violence in chapter three :shrug:

I don't think I like your proposal to make Stanley's final thoughts more explicit. I like to think that the reader knows Stanley by now, so they should be able to guess themselves what he's thinking and feeling. But there is a lot of value in your comments, and maybe I just need to be a little more explicit when dealing with the core themes of the story.
KwatzHeWrote's avatar
I understand why you don't like it. I probably would agree with you if I were in your place. The reader should think and not stop at the first level of interpretation. It's just that, in my opinion, we are so used to certain common and basic underlying structures (or meanings) of many plots that are popular in movies, novels and stories, that sometimes we try to cling to those already known rails even though there's much more. In this case we are used to despise violence and blackmails, so it is easier to think that they are the core of the third part.
I say this, because it's somehow what happened to me, but I'm a lazy guy, so maybe it's just me.
However, this means that probably it's not explicitness what you need. Just something that could tell the reader "hey, here's an important part, don't think it's just a bribery!"
monstroooo's avatar
That's an interesting point about how we rely on cliche to judge a story. I will certainly bear it in mind :)

I also think it's quite natural to read a story and not look below the surface, and the face-value interpretation of the piece should never be discarded. It's one thing to pack a story full of hidden meanings - but if lazy readers aren't impressed, the story has failed at its most basic level :(
0hgravity's avatar
bit anticlimatic this one. I knew there were only four parts and considering the length of the other three I knew deep down there weren't going to be some big wow moment but still...
I have to agree, you are an excellent set-upper (is that a thing?haha). You really set up a dimensional character and a nice living, breathing surrounding but the end was kind of 2d - it went from being this beautiful crane made out of seemingly flat, ordinary material to being ordinary material - a devolution of sorts.

Although I realize you were trying for realism I think there should be a certain amount of grandeur in it. Story-telling in general, no matter what genre, for me, is about escaping into a world other than my own and this final part, unlike the rest, didn't do that for me.

I hope you don't see this commentary as too harsh. I think you are a very good writer and you did say this story was a challenge so with that in mind I think you did a great job.
Just things to think about in case you decide to venture into realism again which I hope you do.

Congrats on finishing up, that's always a victory in and of its self. Overall I enjoyed reading!
monstroooo's avatar
Thank you, I appreciate your honesty. I am riddled with insecurity about this ending - but it's also the ending (more or less) that I always had in mind.

I agree that story-telling is about escapism. But sometimes it can be more than that. Some of the themes and ideas I'm playing with come into fruition in this final chapter, and their development mandates a certain direction for the story. It couldn't end well for Stanley (the moral of the story is that one should be a little pragmatic if you one doesn't want to be left behind by life); nor could it end with fireworks and explosions. Life had to carry on, in that way that it always does. And while I thought about a little stationery-loving swansong to end the piece with a smile, I think that would undermine the central story.

I am constantly mulling this over becuase the feedback on this final chapter is uniformly "so-so". I am planning a re-draft of the piece, so I will try and come up with a stronger ending :)
0hgravity's avatar
You're welcome!

hmmm I understand what you're saying and it makes sense but it seems like the end is still skeletal - it's not nearly as fleshed out as the beginning.
It sounded too apathetic, almost like a shrug. I think when people have suffered from such a fall - hit rock bottom as it were - they get this glimmer of hope, a little bit of determination after ruminating and that wasn't present at all after Stanley's lengthy break. I think if you added just a little bit of fight in Stanley and then let him sink into this pragmatic thought then it will feel more satisfying albeit sad.

something to consider if you decide to rework it.
monstroooo's avatar
That's actually a really good point, I'll certianly bear that in mind.

Giving Stanley a bit of steel is actually something which affects part three. I was determined to give him more resistence to his torture. When it came to writing the scene, though, I was very concerned about dragging the thing out. Perhaps I should heed your advice and make him stronger AFTER the event.

An epilogue might be a way to solve that - show him in a new company in six months time in a new environment with a new love. Something else he can control, collect and admire. Show that he's gotten over his experience, and maybe even learned a valuable lesson from it...
0hgravity's avatar
oh yeah I picked up on that. I think you could leave it there in part 3 but also added it in - even if it is just a glimmer - in part 4. Like you could have a small scene on his way back to work in which he is going over different options on how to stop the guy...rallying people together, calling the email recipients or perhaps when Rachel approaches have him ask about Greening, does she really think he was the cause of of the company problems? or maybe when Harvey comes in have him be very reproachful of him and snappy. Just little things like that. Little things he tries that kind of fizzle out until he plateau's into this sense of realism.

An epilogue might work too...perhaps all it needs is a little more closure.
monstroooo's avatar
I'll definitely think these things through. Thanks for advice!
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In