years of searching... for a life that i want, life that i deserve.... i go out seek for a life... ran away from an incomplete family, if calling it toxic is count as rudeness... i still feel thankful for this family that i have, there are much more worst ones out there... at least i have never hunger myself to die... even what was happening to my mind and heart was all the reversed. there was some dark moment in my lifetime that i can not tell anyone, cause it will bring out so much pain, i can not handle, it is there, buried under my conscious, somewhere.... while new burdens keep coming... until to sum up my life.. i am not sad.... not happ
Year of broken heart, tears those shed in vain again and again, yet i never learn the meaning of being enough...
i am so sick of being wasted but still too stubborn sinking in painful tears, hope it can ease the pain, but it give nothing but a toxic stung.. pain that turned me into monster.. i lost my peace... but no love to win
i was never a priority, and it remains the same, chasing... begging... still, something is wrong with my preference of people i'd like to keep in this lifetime.
Imaging that we could be beautiful if only everything was different.
Wondering why the time never favor us... layers of lies, the toxic of jealousy that c
we don't actually love someone or something whole hearted-ly, we just love the ownership of it..it's just like the irresistible toxic attraction of an empathy to a narcissistic that made us think that we can not live without what we think we had, like holding on to something that we can't even explain since it has lost it's meaning, or it wasn't even there from the very beginning to start with.
it is a mind game that blinds the logic that broken-heart kills you too when all you don't want to face was loneliness.
Cheap love is also a thrill, let's just have fun and forget about the past, let's not bother where we are heading to