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HPMOR - Aint I A Stinker?

By mokkurkalfe
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Living at Hogwarts must be so surreal - especially if you happen to find yourself in the AU version known as Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.

I experimented with various textures to make this picture look like a glossy tabloid magazine cover; not entirely happy with the results, but at least it might distract the viewer from the glaring perspective errors. (Although, luckily, those piffling details can always be explained away by simply saying “Hogwarts”. After all, that place is architecturally weirder and more non-Euclidean than Great Cthulhu’s garden shed.)

(DISCLAIMER: No Muggle-borns were injured in the making of this picture.)

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© 2014 - 2021 mokkurkalfe
anonymous's avatar
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vegiebacon's avatar
hpmor-aids's avatar
and yes, btw you're invited.
dinosaurusgede's avatar
I love Draco's face :D hahaha
mark393's avatar
That's great.
mark393's avatar
I love it.


Greetings from Hugwarts.
ukardesu's avatar
ahahaha that's awesome!
mokkurkalfe's avatar
I hope you mean that the drawing is awesome (in which case: thank you ever so much), and not that you think it's awesome that Draco is pushing Hermione off a roof. ;P
Fireymoonlight's avatar
This is hilarious, its such a serious scene, but then Less Wrong wrote the part about the rumour mill of Hogwarts gossip and now you made this crack-tastic art. I love the words you've quoted into the magazine, especially Dumbledore's! 
mokkurkalfe's avatar
Thank you! :D It's tempting to continue the trend with some of the magazine covers that are described in the story, e.g.:

"Harry Potter Gets Draco Malfoy Pregnant!"
"Hermione Granger Gets Draco Malfoy Pregnant!"
"Potter + Quirrel + Time Turner = Love Triangle Of DOOM! (That Got Draco Malfoy Pregnant)"

(Actually, that last one was just one of Harry James Evans-Potter-Verres' stray thoughts, but if you consider his near-addiction to Comed-Tea, it might well have happened for real.) ;P
Fireymoonlight's avatar
There is no temptation in Deviant Art! The answer is always DO IT NOW BECAUSE YOLO :P

(I'll totally look forward to more of your covers)  
mokkurkalfe's avatar
Ah, but there are so many ideas to choose from! Which one do you make FIRST?!

(And thank you very much.)
DCarrier's avatar
Harry would have been harmed if it wasn't for Professor Quirrel's quick thinking saving him from a hoard of yaoi fangirls. (It makes sense in context. No, really.)
mokkurkalfe's avatar
Yes, yes it does. ;P

(Also, the tiresome pedantic fuddy-duddy in me insists that I should point out that 'hoard' is used to described treasure troves, larges piles of cash, a cave filled with gold coins that a dragon uses as a mattress, etc. Whereas 'horde' is a mob, throng, group, gang, band, army, legion or other large bunch of people. Hence, the latter spelling would be more accurate, in this case.)

(Of course, if you collect yaoi fangirls, you might actually have a hoard of them, tucked away in a discreet storage facility somewhere.) ;P
DCarrier's avatar
I did not know hoard and horde were different words. Thank you for clarifying that for me.

That is definitely why I used the wrong word. It totally was not a Freudian slip due to a hoard of yaoi fangirls I have in a discreet storage facility.
Harryeagle's avatar
So that's a pure blood he's murdering then? Good to know...Giggle 
mokkurkalfe's avatar
Nope, it's Hermione Granger. Y'see, in the HPMOR version of events, Hermione was sorted into Ravenclaw, along with Harry Potter. (Hence the blue and silver colors of her tie.)


There's a memorable scene where Draco is trying to SAVE Hermione from falling off the roof, and she's trying to convince him to let her go and defend himself from Harry. (It makes sense in the story.) Eventually, he lets her fall - he's still Draco Malfoy, after all - and she never suffers any harm, since they both drank Potions of Feather Fall before climbing out there. Still, the fact that he even hesitated in letting her fall, even when he knew she wasn't in any real danger, speaks volumes about his character development up to that point.
Harryeagle's avatar
I was actually responding to your joke that no Muggle-borns were harmed. Evidently I took that too literally. :)
mokkurkalfe's avatar
Well, since Hermione had chugged down a Potion of Feather Falling, she wasn't harmed from the fall.

So, quite literally, no Muggle-borns were harmed. ;P
anonymous's avatar
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