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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
November 22, 2008
When I saw Confronting Fears by *mjranum I immediately wanted to feature it as a DD. For the first time mjranum would then have a DD for a non-female artistic nude piece and, at the same time, for a self-portrait. Some minutes after this I got a note from the suggester. Here's an excerpt of it: "I know Marcus, very well. I know the story behind this image. That he is afraid of being fearful makes me smile and cry because he has this enormous gentle courageous heart if he only knew about it. Everything that he is, and everything that he isn't, shines through in this image." - LightEchoes's words will make much more sense if after seeing this picture you then read the artist's comments. Please do. And please appreciate this colorful male nude and original self-portrait. Surely something different from what you are accustomed to see in his gallery, I'm sure you'll love it anyway!
Featured by Helewidis
Suggested by LightEchoes
mjranum's avatar

Confronting Fears

I could bullshit you, but I won't.

I could try to hide behind a joke, but I won't do that, either.

When I shot this I was thinking about how I'd recently hurt some people that are dear to me, because I let myself get sidetracked by things I'm afraid of: questions I should have asked, information I could have offered, help I could have asked for, or - simply enough - just having the guts to say "I am a bit scared of how I feel right now." Fear of rejection, fear of saying too much, or not enough. Whatever. All the little twitches and quirks that get hammered into you during the course of life.

The joke I could have made? Yeah, I could have said "I'm uncomfortable with Camera RAW." or maybe I could have made a joke about "46 year-old 'mature content'" but I wasn't feeling funny when I shot this, and hiding behind a joke is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about - not saying what you mean, and hiding behind a joke, is giving in to your fears.

And, I could bullshit you and sound nobler than I am; I could say some nonsense about how I ask models to confront body-image issues blah blah blah see how it feels blah blah bullshit. It would actually sound pretty good, and I might get a smattering of applause but it'd still be bullshit. Sometimes bullshitting is an art-form - a good raconteur can amplify the truth to make a tale told over a good dinner better. And then it's alright to bullshit a bit, because it's entertainment. But here it would be wrong.

What I thought was to train myself to recognize when I'm letting Fear guide my actions (instead of Desire; always listen to Desire!) (or her sister, Necessity) and to simply confront it, steam-roller it, and keep moving. So, so obvious.

This is me.

I support :icongrow-the-fck-up:
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© 2008 - 2021 mjranum
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pazuzuthewise's avatar
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
- the Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear (Frank Herbert, Dune)
NickedThumb's avatar
Marcus, this is my favorite of my favorites from your gallery, and for so many reasons I won't go into here. But suffice it to say that I am very deeply moved by this image of you. You.
DimKa-Minsk's avatar
... The text is amazing )) I see this shot like a cover of book of your works with some stories inside ))
This is awesome. For what it's worth I'm proud to have seen this and read the story behind it.
mjranum's avatar
Thank you! You are very talented.
ButterfleyeStudio's avatar
Very admirable of you. :)
BossMouse's avatar
I admire your guts and as always, your work as well. Amazing picture you made right there!
mjranum's avatar
VincentOfDreamhouse's avatar
Awesome, man. I applaud you. I have done a couple of self-portraits before to see what I look like. Thinking I would hate them, I would look at the shots and say to myself..."well, I don't look THAT bad". Reading your comments and seeing your photograph may just very well encourage me to post one of myself...
...again, bravo.
mjranum's avatar
GJZART's avatar
put some close on!
mjranum's avatar
Learn to spell!
GJZART's avatar
only if you promise to put some (close) on!
ladyred200141's avatar
Just now saw this......well done....and your comments....YUP!!! Precisely!
mjranum's avatar
Thanks. Yeah, I keep expecting to be walking up on stage to do the keynote for some conference and have this show up on the projector...
ladyred200141's avatar
oh my.....giggle.....would be a bit of a hmmmmmmm.....surprise indeed
geekiest's avatar
SmileXXI's avatar
I've seen this so many times and had the picture on my favs almost since you posted it. But I never commented! and I dunno why.
THIS IS AMAZING. This is art. I love the concept, the explanation, your expression. And I think you are so gorgeous xD.
Kinda reminds me of the song "Payaso" (the clown) by Javier Solis (a mexican singer in the 60's, he's dead now).
Great work, as always.
mjranum's avatar
MaikeruGo's avatar
You know, if I really wanted to read deeply into this I could say that it's a literalization of the fact that an artist is more naked than their models when they display their work (especially online).

Of course really I think the look on your face and your pose in this image is a bit humourous. Actually you remind me of my friend's boyfriend purely based on your face and your expressions.
it's been said, but i will re-iterate; your courage is beautiful. well done marcus. :petting:
karlandrews's avatar
This is an awesome shot.. along with the reason for it.. it must have taken guts to change sides of the camera lense. Good on you!
MurpheysRejekt's avatar
you sir are awesome.
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