Everyone thinks that Luna is the only one with inner demons. Celestia has it pretty rough herself. She tries her best to interact with her subjects; she goes to dances and balls, signs bills and documents, attends council meetings, and endures day after day of ceaseless work...and then, as if fate wants to slap her in the face, they rarely ever see her as anything but their ruler, when all she wants is to be loved and accepted as an equal.
To all those who think they want to be a princess like Celestia...be careful what you wish for.
And thus, dawn broke upon her, and Celestia came to a horrible realization.
"They... they are afraid of me... they are all afraid of me... all my friends... my family... my sister Luna... Even my student Twilight... who I loved as a daughter I will never have..."
She closed her eyes, shutting out her benevolent gaze and round pupil of soft pink. All happiness and warmth in her heart disappeared, and she felt utter despair. Far away, the Sun began to set.
All she ever wanted was to be close to her people. She loved them all. Each and everyone of them was unique to her. She had spent so much effort to know them, to learn their names and their lives, to experience how it was to be like them. She only wanted to be loved the same way in return.
Yet... they never saw her as one of them... they never did.
All they ever saw of her was a tyrant... not a vile one like Discord or Nightmare Moon, but one nevertheless. Because she could never command their love.
Only their fear and envy.
She closed her eyes. Tears of pure sorrow began to flow from her tired eyelids. Her wings dropped to her side, and her legs felt weak; she no longer have the will to lift them.
All of these traumas... her thousand years of loneliness... the spite and hate from the few who think she is a tyrant and a lustful deviant... that awful lecture Discord gave to her before he was sealed once more... Now this...
She just couldn't take it anymore.
"Why... why can't they stop seeing me as a monster? Why can't they realize how much I love them, how much I care for them?"
Suddenly, her face twisted from a mournful expression to a frustrated frown. She felt her teeth grit, and her cheeks twitch.
She suddenly felt something she never experienced before... an burning feeling welling up inside of her. It was not love, but it was something so intense, not even the displeasure she felt towards Discord She felt came any closer to it.
"Is this what they all saw me as?". She asked herself.
It was anger.
It was bitterness.
It was hate.
It was not fair. It was just not fair. Can everypony she loved understand how she felt, when they look at her with fear in her eyes, and spoke with spite and envy when they think she was not looking?
Can they appreciate how much effort she put to keep them safe? To keep them happy?
After all she done... this is how these gnats repay her?!
"Is this all I ever was to them?" She asked herself.
For the first time in thousands of years, the tone of her voice became dark, brimming with resentment.
Above Canterlot, the clouds gathered and darken. The wind began swirl around the land, and the air turned to a chilling cold. Around the land, all the ponies turned towards Canterlot to see the gathering storm, their hearts suddenly grasped by fear.
"Is This How They How They All Thought Of Me?!" Princess Celestia growled.
Her large and majestic wings erected. She felt her legs and body suddenly pulsed with strength and power, drawn from the dark feelings rapidly overwhelming her.
If these gnats do not think she deserve their love... their friendship... They do not deserve her love and friendship either.
They all must be punished.
They all must PAY.
Around Princess, arcane energies, her magic, began to form from the wisps around her, and converge upon her. But unlike the glowing white aura they once carried, this time, they were dark, crimson red in color.
"IS THIS HOW THEY ALL WANT ME TO BE?!" Celestia bellowed. All compassion and love on her face faded away, and her frown twisted further into a different expression, one of rage, and hatred.
Her eyeslids gripped tightly shut.
In a distant part of Equestria, a young Alicorn Princess indigo blue stopped suddenly in her flight. She could sense it, a foreboding foulness emitting from the direction of Canterlot. She suddenly felt a stab of fear in her chest. She could recognize it. It was a feel of black magic that she is all too familiar with...
The dark mists of power pounced on Celestia, enveloping her in a maelstrom of swirling energies. The palace began to shake from its foundation. The fearful guards and servants ran out in droves from the awe-inspiring structure, only to witness the transformation before their terrified eyes as they reached the open and turned their heads to the now storm-ridden sky.
Like many others, one lavander colored Unicorn, with a bright purple star of magic for a cutie mark, witnessed the commotion from the balcony of her home, barely able to see it, and yet only her out of all the others in Ponyville turned her head towards the mountains, and what she saw made her realize, to her immense terror, of what was happening.
The Sun stopped its descent.
At last, with a crack of lightning and thunder, the mists of dark powers scattered around the Alicorn Princess. Gone were her white alabaster skin, replaced with red like the color of blood. Gone were her billowing mane and tails of a pastel rainbow, replaced with two trailing tendrils of golden flame, burning brightly and hot like the flare of a Sun. Her tiara and chestplate had twisted into a golden, fearsome helmet and armor, reflecting their mistress' new dark nature.
It was Celestia who closed her eyes in despair. It was Solar Blaze who opened them, with hate.
Her gaze glowed white with power. Beneath the glare, the pupils had narrowed to a predator's slit. She had the gaze of a dragon.
She admired briefly her new form, and the power she could feel, released to its full might at long last as she dropped all restrains she put on herself.
She bore a tiger's grin. And she had made her decision.
"So be it."
Actually, now that I thought about it, I think I am going to expand and publish this as a fanfic.
I'm not sure she'd become what she knew ponies feared all the time, though. To me, she's too cautious. She probably just couldn't take it any more and leave Equestria. Or commit suicide.
My prose is based on the premise that the spark was the realization that for all she had done, for all the love and care she put into her people, in the end she would always be feared, envied and hated.
Anyone would crack at that point and go postal.
I think that a number 1 student still see only a teacher and only a princess in her all time, Twilight is just too formal.
I m not sure do it is because Twilight is all time in ponyvile and miss Celestia or Celestia was too busy to spend some private time with her student.
But there's also the several years between Twilight being taken under Celly's wing and her going tto Ponyville, don't you agree?
Or there are some off screen plots what happened before episode 1 or Twilight is over reacting alot because I simply can not explain why Twilight think that Celestia wont hessitate to punish others.
Considering curent fanbase Celestia banished Luna too the moon for 1000 years what can be how to say it, scary for her student, but I m sure you are again those kind of plots and fanbase.