nevermind feels likedigging a piercinginto your body, where yourskin is the thickestbut not going inall the way- it gets pulled outhalfway through, real slow.
a song I sometimes singthrough heavy eyesthis is the picture that I see:the reflection of my bodythat ghostpoor me-I have to hold her bloodcarry her boneswear her rotting skinmy body sways to the music of the dial tone- the cold metal of the payphone melting into my fingers. the sky is falling into the ocean again, and I am being held with hands made of water.eyes squinted nowand everything is far awayparents are fighting againtook too much medication againthe same bad dreamsstill living in themeven when I wake uptoo muchclose my eyes and he sneaks into my house but does not let me kiss him. now I'm the one holding- holding with hands made of water.open my eyes to see the ground so incredibly close to my face. it hit me hard- the realization that my blood is ink, dripping from my hands, slipping through my fingers.cut myself to find that I bleed inky wordswipe my inky hands on my jeansstain them with my bloodrealizing it may only be possible for me to write when I'm bleedingit's too mu
dragging a dead deer up a hillwhat do you do when your head is an aquarium and you know you're going to cry the whole damn tank out tonight.I guess sometimes it feels urgent, like fingernails digging into skin.it's the way we kiss when we finally have the chance.it's an emergency sometimes, the way we kiss when my breath is on his cheek. like closing your eyes and your last memory drifts into the previous winter.taking a photograph of her soul leaving her body.holding a memory in your head and living there because, there, it is safe.it is whispering that you're terrified through chattering teeth. what do you do when you want to speak but it is only tears that come out?it's not like I can just grab your hand and put it on my heart. it's not like I could cut myself open and you'd see every emotion rushing through me. even if you somehow ever could, how would I know. how could you see it and show me that you completely get it. I'd see the pain in your eyes and I would see the way you'd wince, but I wouldn't see
Louder Than A RiotThere's a riot in my headAnd it screams all nightContaining freedom fightersAnd rebels full of spite.I try to ignore itAnd get some sleepBut the roar of the crowdIs louder than me.There's buildings on fireAnd fighting in the streets.I witness all this mayhemIn the unbearable heat.There is no way to ignore it,No point of going to sleep.The crowds shouts are loudAnd they're closing in on me.I stand on a blazing car,Watching this chaos.I tell them not to fight,Because they have already lost.Now I don't need to ignore itAnd I can go to sleep.Sure, the roars of the crowd are loud,But not as loud as me.
ForeignI think,that the thing i love about youis that you're just as fucking scared as i am