Woman with an umbrella.
A periwinkle sky.
Shining silver pieces.
No parking anytime.
Sarah WintersYour presence is ethereal.
I heard your voice but I had never heard your voice.
You haunted me. Oh memory I never experienced that was ever so familiar.
It was quiet and black and white and grey.
And the music was quiet at first but came in like a floodgate.
The silent clatter of keys on a piano were like a soft warm summer rain.
And as I played that became deeper and deeper as the drops turned from little flecks dusting my skin to luscious drops to waves….
in these puddles and tides I saw your ghost.
Flashes of a half hiding face with bitten lipped smiles.
Of an arm stretched out to dance and then a spin into a great…
and then there was your voice.
It haunted me as much as…
and I’d never heard it before I saw you here.
But I had seen you before.
You were… remembered.
How could I possibly have a memory of someone I never met…
never exchanged experiences with..
never laughed with..
never cried with…
never felt their heartbeat close to mine
Cheers to youFuck you.
Two words started everything
and ended everything
I was in love and didn't realize it.
And so were you.
Summer was over
I hoped we weren't too
Another year older
I liked you too.
Paper portraitsBlue is blue.
My love is not a limmerick.
Watch your step.
Things I have found within me.
Grand and 11thGurt missing gernie.
Blue bicycle, no helmet.
One City National Bank.
I love you too dad.
Ordinary MorningSunbeams and a hint of lemon.
The knowing walk of regret.
Eight fifty four.
Coffee at nine.
MaureenThe bright smile of youth.
Black dress and pearls.
Reflections from tiny windows.
Priority seating for seniors and disabled.
Oh but a lady never tells... everything m'dear Names are rarely relevant (though this star eyed pair have...)
Absence of color.
But one shade of something "fake" yet so real it makes you...
This will probably make little sense beyond nonsense to... but if in the know, and well, you will know if you are, it will land on a chord that few know how to play. Fore Cinderella's Mr. Midnight clothed himself in a fasade that nothing matters...
Always put together.
Always wearing that same nonuniform.
Always going to that same bar.
Always. Always. Always.
When he arrives, you may fight it at first... a girl has to know better than to care about this one, even in the slightest. But at that point it may already be too late.
"I don't belong to you." He told her.
"I know." she said.
And in her mind said the same thing aloud.
Were they lying to themselves? Or did they just not belong to even
Silent ReverbI wish I was me when you met me.
I was almost there but not quite.
And when the storms hit, and the ship rocked and rocked
I felt like I was going to tip over.
I thought I was going to pour out.
I wanted for you to be there- by my side as I was at the helm.
I didn't need you to help guide me.
I didn't need for you to take the wheel.
But you insisted.
I didn't want to fight you.
I wanted you to be there and watch me do it myself.
But you insisted.
And I didn't know how to take it.
Parts of me stripped away
As the storms raged on and on
I was afraid that I was going to lose you
I wanted you to be steadfast and hold on.
But it was too late.
I cried out in anguish as the seas claimed hold of you
I wanted it to be me
I wanted to jump in and bring you back
And the storms raged on and on
The wheel spun and spun and spun.
It heeded me return to it
The fog rolled in
I watched you as you disappeared
I cried out in anguish as the seas claimed hold of you
Oh how I wanted to jump in and bring
A note for Mr. H.It's midnight and Cinderella is still dancing. She cares naught anymore that her dress has turned to rags. Her true Prince wouldn't either.
Why as a society do we put on a facade to gain a fleeting false sense of happiness? What is the point of faking what we are? Would Cinderella truly have lived happily ever after if she hadn't rushed home from that party?
The heroes of our story are those true to the grit and grime... as well as glitz. Of the ones who are not afraid to step into the shadow from time to time.
You see, what they won't tell you (lest you know their secret) is that Cinderella glitters more in her tattered rags. But it's a sparkle that only a true Prince can appreciate.
Dear suitors of Christmas Past & Present... when you encounter your own version of this modern day fantasy girl, I implore you to continue dancing after midnight. Fore without this, the fantasy may not be able to coexist.
Regale in the true beauty of a world ridden in color and of grey.
LesbianGod loved the two girls at the end of my street.
Everywhere they went, they went together,
hand-in-hand so they didn't get lost,
laughing at everything and nothing
all at once.
He was so proud of them.
They never stole, they never swore,
they brushed their teeth twice a day
and always said their prayers.
It was a gift, said the townspeople,
that two girls as perfect as they were
were born in the same place.
an even greater gift, said they,
that those two were the best of friends.
Long nights spent giggling in rooms with closed doors
was a good thing, back then.
halfway between their houses
and in the middle of the street,
they realized that they loved each other.
A gaze lingered a moment too long,
a heart beat a little too fast...
They kissed for the first time on a park bench,
hidden from the rest of the world.
God doesn't love them anymore.
He stands before the adoring crowd,
Basking in their cheers and standing ovation.
But he has already been dishonoured -
By means of his perverse innovation.
For none could know of the dark secret;
About the art that he claims to be his own.
It is naught but an illusion, smoke and mirrors -
A theft for which he must atone...
But this disgusting creature, this worthless abhuman;
So desperate for the glory which he sees upon the stage!
Will quietly don the skin of another;
An urge he must assuage...
Biting his nails, a cracked smile upon his lips, he whispers:
"No one will know, no one will find it and I am great..."
-Chen Yuan Wen, 24th October 2012
goddamn homosexualMy mom took a trip to Mexico
And stopped by a church to attend mass.
It was quaint, small and brightly colored,
So she went inside.
(She is Catholic and I am not.)
She knows Spanish, is practically fluent in it.
She knew, sitting in her pew, what the priest was saying
About those goddamn homosexuals
And their sin,
And how even the flames of hell
Were too good for them.
That there would be no tolerance from The Heavenly Father
Of their kind.
I had just come out to my mom less than a month before
"Yes I like girls."
My hands had been shaking and my throat was tight,
Like my heart was stuck in it.
For a moment I wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball
And simply fade away.
But mom smiled, pulled me into a hug, and said it was okay
And I knew it was.
Yet even if I hadn't confessed
Even if I weren't able to gather the strength,
I know she still would have walked out
Left behind those judgmental words,
Spewing from that judgmental man's lips.
It makes me wonder a
I've Changed (Yeah right)I've Changed (Yeah right):
You know, I tell myself everday,
That I'm going to change - that I'll be different.
'This isn't the same; I'm not the same,' that's what I tell myself...
As I sit in front of the computer, praying time doesn't move.
Coward, you're weak and you'll always be weak! You bloody disgrace...
I pick up some new magazine, get inspired,
'I want to be like that guy,' is what I think to myself.
I give it a try for two or three days - I quit.
Same old shit again...
Making up excuses? It's what you always do, you gutless wonder...
I try to reach out with my hands,
Seeking something, anything that I can find to help myself hold on...
But I don't find it - I just find myself,
Sinking back down into the same black swamp - I'm drowning.
Awww, what's the matter? You gonna cry, you gonna cry?
Yeah, I've hit rock bottom,
And you know what? It feels pretty damn good down here.
Nice, warm, comfortable, familiar.
No pressure, no problems - just like everb
Dear mother, dear father
Dear brother, dear sister
Don't worry, you still have each other
And without me you're all so much stronger
Leave me behind and let me go, I promise the days will get brighter
Dear teachers, dear counselors
Dear therapists, dear doctors
You have my gratitude for what you all did
But I hit rock bottom too many times, and this last one was it
The end of the road again, as if no one could have kept me from a coffin
I was not fit to live life
I failed at everything, every time
I sincerely did my very best, I really tried
I just could no longer stand feeling so powerless inside
I lay wide awake every night
I prayed and prayed and asked "why?"
I was always silently drowning in the tears I cried
I am done with suffering, so this is where I draw the line
This is the end
One with a resentful beginning
It all came crashing down to nothing
It's what's only right, so I know what I'm doing
Dear friends, dear betrayers
Dear relatives, dear des
I waited too long that the autumn leaves
changed into all the colours they possibly
could and cluttered the streets.
The bitter crackling noises quietly
mocked me as I walked over the
leaves, crushing them into tinier pieces.
Winter's blizzards were no match
for the frostbite that punctured my
Dare I say, without your love
my heart felt colder than snow. Even
the snowman was better off and he
had no soul.
As bright and arduous
as the summer sun,
its heat waves cannot melt away the
feelings I had grown towards you.
In a battered, old box, I had
stored the countless handwritten letters
that I had never intended to give.
It's too late now to even give it a second
thought. But they haunt me, and remind
me of how I feel.
Time has played its tricks
as the days turned into weeks
and the weeks
turned into months
months progressed on to a year.
It is still a mystery, how time
escaped itself fro
it's okay to not be okaysometimes it’s okay
to sit on the floor of the bathroom stall
and let your feelings gather- it’s okay
to let them pool like a lachrymose lagoon
as the inside of your stomach does summersaults;
I know these emotions can’t be tenderly released,
they’re not soft waves kissing the expecting shore,
let them pour out of you like tidal waves-
release the tsunami from within you
and I know sometimes the tears will sodden your pillowcase,
they’ll be juggernauts- those brackish beads
cathartically-cartwheeling down your flushed cheeks;
but remember how even the clouds
may cry tempestuously today,
only to make room
for much brighter days
so I promise you, darling
it’s going to be okay.