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Writer's Block Sonnet

MissLunaRose's avatar
By MissLunaRose
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Her feet are wearing holes in the carpet

While she paces 'round and 'round with a scowl

Apparently her book gives her a fit

And no one dares to talk to her at all


Her fists are clenched and waving through the air

Making gestures no one can understand

She has been pacing several hours there

Immersed in some issue that is at hand


Her eyes stare off into some unseen world

As if she is squinting at a wet page

The ink has run and everything is blurred

Her eyes too tired to read it in her rage


But then! some idea strikes her at last

I never knew that she could run so fast.



Sonnet ~ Iambic pentameter ~ Has slant rhyme

This is one of the poems for my poetry chapbook. I was glad to hear that so many people were interested in my poems! :heart: With a group as varied as my watchers, I never know.

I'm aware it's amateurish, yes, but I had fun with it.

Does this make sense?

My dad laughed when he read it and said that it was perfectly clear, but I don't know if it's just because he and I think similarly. I'd love to know if you all understand the last line.

Constructive criticism is welcome, especially before October 4th, when I have to turn this in to my teacher.

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Comments40
anonymous's avatar
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TaylorNicoleReed's avatar
TaylorNicoleReedHobbyist Writer
I'm doing this right now (finally gave up on pacing to derp around on DA...)
TickleBug13's avatar
TickleBug13Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is great! I SOOO understand the concept of Writers' Block--in fact, I have it right now. I hope I can get an idea like she did. :)
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :huggle:
Courtney-Lehrmann's avatar
Courtney-LehrmannHobbyist General Artist
Hahaha, I love this! :3
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :huggle:
Bebopboy's avatar
I know the feeling, sometimes I spend over 20min on a couplet because I
always have to have a perfect flow, nice job,
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
Oh, wow! Those can be tricky sometimes. :D

Thanks. :hug:
Axe-Cell's avatar
Axe-CellHobbyist General Artist
A pretty nice imagery of the character's (or in your case, you're ;p) environment and body language that this poem gave me a good laugh, because, heck, this scenario is something that most artists and writers can relate to whenever they're out of ideas and.... I believe that you know the rest. Though the last second line reveals to the readers as to what the character is troubled by, I don't think I can ever understand the last line of this sonnet. :stare: Does it have something to do with your speed when it comes to putting your recently conjured ideas down onto a piece of paper, or is it literal?
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :hug:

Hmm. I meant for it to represent literal running: she's running to a piece of paper or computer. :hmm: I've really gotten varied responses over that line.
Axe-Cell's avatar
Axe-CellHobbyist General Artist
You're quite welcome, miss. :bow:

Pooh, looks like I've gotten too poetical with my opinions for this sonnet, again. :XD: Oh well~ At least you are able to anticipate your teacher's comment regarding that line now. :D
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
:glomp:

...Hopefully he'll understand what I meant. XD As he's a writer himself, hopefully he can relate.
KiraJacqueline's avatar
KiraJacquelineHobbyist General Artist
Very very cool! :D I think it's pretty clear too. :)


My cc for you:

--I absolutely love the imagery in this poem! Very nice work. :)
--I don't think "world" and "blurred" work together as a rhyme, per-say. I think that some thought on those two, after the break since posting it, would be to your benefit. :)
--Uncertain about the last line. I don't think it carries quite the impact that you want. :/ Again, I think that a re-visit to the last couplet would be a good idea. :)


Really cool sonnet, Luna! :hug: Thanks for sharing!
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :huggle:

...Yeah, I had a bit of an issue with the rhymes. I tried slant rhyme, but I'm not sure how much success I had with it.

Thanks for the critique; I'll definitely look over those things again. :glomp:
KiraJacqueline's avatar
KiraJacquelineHobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! :hug:


Ah, rhymes are difficult sometimes. :/ Practice, practice, practice!
THIINKING OF HEEER AND THE WAAAY THAT IT WAAAAAS~~~


You're welcome! ^ ^ I hope it was useful! ^ ^"
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
:huggle:

Is that a song? :?
KiraJacqueline's avatar
KiraJacquelineHobbyist General Artist
:)


AHAHAH YEEESSSS. :D :D :D [link]

^^^Swan Princess. Listen. Love. Yes. :3
apples-eye's avatar
Love it. XD
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
Thanks. :hug:
QuiEstInLiteris's avatar
QuiEstInLiterisProfessional Writer
xD Ah, that feeling we all know so well.
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
Indeed. XD
reflectionsinwater's avatar
reflectionsinwaterHobbyist Writer
Hm... the turn at the end was certainly very nice :D. One piece of advice (you can choose to take or not) is that you could make the sextet more contrasting to the first section. I did however liked how you used running and walking throughout the whole poem :) You captured the essence of what we do quite nicely ;)
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :hug:

Thanks for the advice, too; I'll look back over at the pacing.
Pheoniic's avatar
PheoniicProfessional Digital Artist
Ah I understood it! It's very well written and ultimately true x,D

Something about the pacing is cute like a limerick too! =D
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRoseHobbyist General Artist
Thanks. :hug:

I never noticed that. :| Hmm. I never knew that a sonnet could sound like a limerick. XD
anonymous's avatar
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