MisfitableGrae's avatar
Dilettante;
1.1K Watchers38.2K Page Views183 Deviations
i
i like to think you think of me
you didn’t come to the airport. i didn’t send the postcard. these are small defeats. easy to swallow, easy to look back at, to pinpoint what we could have done differently, things that would have yielded a different outcome. vary the variables, reset the experiment— you didn’t get me flowers. i didn’t remember your birthday. paper cuts, not amputations. too insignificant to be remembered past the day they happened. blame is a tricky thing. hard to hold in your hands. the first time you take cough medicine that hasn’t been sweetened. a bone that breaks and heals crooked. a load heavy enough that holding i
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the myths i'll tell my daughters
i like to think eve and pandora fall in love with each other. and every god in every heaven is afraid of them, the women who taught men to sin and then get to be happy in the end. i like to think eve bakes apple pies to celebrate long weekends, that pandora always opens her birthday presents too early, that they get to grow old and stubborn and surly wrapped around each other with a fire in the living room and laughter just a breath away. i like to think there’s an after to stories like theirs, that the gods created them but couldn’t control them, that we pass our expiration date and outgrow our purpose but continue existing an
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the third time i call, you pick up and i say
yesterday i walked past the diner where we fell in love, and i thought i saw the waitress wave at me as i went by and i realized that the most terrible thing in the whole world would be you rereading all those text messages i sent you when i was stupid in love. those weren’t meant for you, okay, those were for the boy who split his milkshake with me and held my hand through an entire season of Friends and sat with me in silence on dirty rooftops while we smoked stolen cigarettes. look, i didn’t even mean to call the first time, but i was drunk and high and cold and my old favorite song came on the radio and i remembered how much
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mistletoe
it’s Christmas, so you sleep with him. it’s Christmas and your family is thousands of miles away and you’re lonely and it’s snowing ad he drove you home and he let you pick the first movie and he picks the second one, a comedy you’ve never heard of before and when he laughs, he looks at you to make sure you’re laughing too, so you sleep with him. and maybe you always thought you would be in love with the first person to bruise your body in places only you and the mirror ever see, maybe you thought he’d be younger; maybe you thought you’d be. maybe you thought the lights would be on or your unde
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kairos
on the day we are supposed to meet, i will be too sad to get out of bed. destiny will knock insistently on my door, will stick its head through the opening and call my name, softly and then louder when i do not respond. it will pick its way through the chaos of my bedroom, over shoes and socks and sweaters i haven’t worn in a week and shake my shoulder. i will close my eyes and roll over. i will have eaten too much the day before. i will have not eaten at all the day before. i will feel like my hands are only good for dropping second chances on the floor next to dirty underwear and last week’s failed midterm and half full cups
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t
the moment you become more than a one night stand
it’s half gone four in the morning and i should be looking at nothing but the backs of my eyelids but i can’t bring myself to tear my eyes away from how beautiful you look with my bed sheets all tangled around your body and your hair all tangled around your face and your eyelashes brushing your cheek every time you blink like this will be the last time before you go to sleep, but our mouths haven’t stopped moving in one way or another since you locked the door for the night, and the longer you talk about your grandmother's favorite knitting pattern the more sure i am that it's too late to leave this room without leavin
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t
toeing the edge of the rubicon
freshman year of college, i break the first rule of dorming with someone else: i touch her stuff. it’s october, and just starting to get cold. i wear a sweater and a jacket at all times now, but i’m always caught off guard by the rain. i don’t watch the weather reports anymore; this has something to do with why i am on my roommate’s side of the dorm, but i do not connect the two. it takes me an hour. it shouldn’t, but it does. i stop to look out the window, to examine my hands, to wonder why they are not shaking. i stop to write, but i don’t get much farther than “dear mom and dad” before
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why i do not know how to introduce ed
some days i wake up and my stomach says, “i am hungry.” and my brain says back, “good; eat.” and i have breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and my brain says, “you are human, you are human, you are human, and this is what humans do.” and i feel okay and i do not think much about why this is strange. it is cereal at nine, a sandwich at half past twelve, and supper at a quarter to seven. on these days, my stomach is quiet and polite. my brain is also quiet, but with the intensity of one who is preparing for war. still, i never see it coming. then some days, i wake up and my stomach says, “i am hungry.&#8221
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a
an hour after losing
when i walk into the bathroom, with dawn breaking her fingers to squeeze her hands through the windows at the end of the hall, i am surprised to see a girl at the corner sink. i expected to be alone to wipe at my face, to press gentle fingers against the tender skin of my neck, to pull up my shirt and check the visibility of my ribs and the flutter of my heart, to stare at my eyes in the shitty mirror in the shitty lighting and calculate all the little changes that a boy’s hands can wreak on a body in under an hour. but she is there at the corner sink, scrubbing at her red and irritated cheeks like she is lady macbeth trying to eras
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a
and we were angels dancing on the heads of pins
it has been a long year. i realize this over and over again as i swing the car around country road curves and eat up miles like i am starved for them. my fingers are tight on the wheel, and it feels like if i let go even for a second i will not regain control. all year i have wanted to run away, and now i am here with nothing stopping me except— your breath hits the side of the window and billows up the pane. the music is a soft hum in the background and the dying sun tints the tips of your gold hair red. it has been such a long year. i know you know this as well as i do; we are both standing over open graves, moved to tears, thro
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See all
i
i like to think you think of me
you didn’t come to the airport. i didn’t send the postcard. these are small defeats. easy to swallow, easy to look back at, to pinpoint what we could have done differently, things that would have yielded a different outcome. vary the variables, reset the experiment— you didn’t get me flowers. i didn’t remember your birthday. paper cuts, not amputations. too insignificant to be remembered past the day they happened. blame is a tricky thing. hard to hold in your hands. the first time you take cough medicine that hasn’t been sweetened. a bone that breaks and heals crooked. a load heavy enough that holding i
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t
the myths i'll tell my daughters
i like to think eve and pandora fall in love with each other. and every god in every heaven is afraid of them, the women who taught men to sin and then get to be happy in the end. i like to think eve bakes apple pies to celebrate long weekends, that pandora always opens her birthday presents too early, that they get to grow old and stubborn and surly wrapped around each other with a fire in the living room and laughter just a breath away. i like to think there’s an after to stories like theirs, that the gods created them but couldn’t control them, that we pass our expiration date and outgrow our purpose but continue existing an
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k
kairos
on the day we are supposed to meet, i will be too sad to get out of bed. destiny will knock insistently on my door, will stick its head through the opening and call my name, softly and then louder when i do not respond. it will pick its way through the chaos of my bedroom, over shoes and socks and sweaters i haven’t worn in a week and shake my shoulder. i will close my eyes and roll over. i will have eaten too much the day before. i will have not eaten at all the day before. i will feel like my hands are only good for dropping second chances on the floor next to dirty underwear and last week’s failed midterm and half full cups
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a
an hour after losing
when i walk into the bathroom, with dawn breaking her fingers to squeeze her hands through the windows at the end of the hall, i am surprised to see a girl at the corner sink. i expected to be alone to wipe at my face, to press gentle fingers against the tender skin of my neck, to pull up my shirt and check the visibility of my ribs and the flutter of my heart, to stare at my eyes in the shitty mirror in the shitty lighting and calculate all the little changes that a boy’s hands can wreak on a body in under an hour. but she is there at the corner sink, scrubbing at her red and irritated cheeks like she is lady macbeth trying to eras
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p
palimpsest
1. “so have you, like, ever fallen in love  with a straight girl?” she asks. “i bet it’s like, totally awkward.” i laugh and stutter through a no that comes out sounding too much like your name, and then you are there, slipping into my mind without knocking, like you have any right to come back unannounced. it has been months since you called. i suppose that counts as awkward, but when people say awkward, i think of teenagers skinning their knees tripping after each other, of the sound of knives scraping dinner plates during sunday supper— i do not think of your voice when you tell me you have found the
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melisma
i have heard that every woman is either ophelia or the queen, either too much or not enough, either drowning or swimming, either dying from grief of living with guilt. but i have run past enough finish lines in my life to know that sometimes you give up and sometimes you keep going until your legs hurt and your lungs bleed. what i mean is that i used to forget that there once was a version of me that did not know the twelve shades of blue in your eyes or what words to use to describe them. what i mean is that i still catch myself thinking about that time i saw you singing in your kitchen with your hair down, dancing around to the radio
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what willy loman said
i keep trying to tell you that the woods are burning, the ocean is flooding, but you think it’s the summer heat and the summer rain and you think this is how it has to be but it doesn’t it doesn’t it doesn’t— and you don’t leave because you think we have time, but the smoke is a noose i could hang myself with and we got jewels and riches and coins but we don’t got a damn second.
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a
an open letter to my twelve year old self
one day you will cut all your hair off, and hang up a map of the world in your room and  you will look at it on days you think your life is going nowhere. i hate to tell you this, but this isn’t your worst year. it also isn’t your best. one day you will cut all your hair off and realize that some poems need to be read out loud, to an audience, so you’ll take a hammer and some nails and build yourself one out of a girl whose veins look fragile but whose bones are strong, a boy who isn’t as tall as he thinks he is, but whose lifelines are the deepest you’ve ever seen, and a girl whose eyes remind you of the east
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p
peccavi
i think you are lovely. but i am not in love with you, and by the fifth time you catch my eye and look away just as quickly, i realize that i cannot will myself into being so. if love were as simple as a field of flowers, i swear i would pick you a bouquet of daises, and make sure that every petal you picked off ended with ‘she loves me’. if love were as reliable as the sun, i would never stand so far away from you that our shadows did not touch. if love were as predictable as the weather, i swear i would spend every storm kissing you in the rain. if love were as fair as Lady Justice i would tie a scarf around my eyes and sp
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who i am far outweighs who i was
last night i pressed a hand up against my ribcage and imagined how it would feel to touch the bones there. once, i could have seen them. but it’s been years and years since then, and sure, sometimes there are days i can only drink tea and lie about how much food i’ve eaten, but there are other days i even eat breakfast and i know that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but trust me, it is. last night i went through my closet and took out every shirt i shoved to the back of my drawers four years ago like a dirty secret, too small by half, but kept in the hopes that some day in the future it might hang right on my shoulders ag
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Jon Snow
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February 2019 Lit DD Roundup
Congratulations to everyone featured in February! May your pens keep scribbling more awesome things for us to read. And a big thank you to everyone who suggested as well! Your help scouting out great reads is invaluable! :heart: The DD Discussion Chat is going to be better than ever in March because we're hosting two! On Saturday, March 9th, JessaMar (https://www.deviantart.com/jessamar) will host one at 10AM PST, and on Sunday, March 10th LiliWrites (https://www.deviantart.com/liliwrites) will host one at 3PM PST! Hopefully spreading out the times this way will allow for more people to join in the fun. :D We'll see you in the CRLiterature chatroom for those events. Now, onto the Roundup! ^BlackBowfin (https://www.deviantart.com/blackbowfin) Feature
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In the Weekly Spotlight
This Wednesday, LitRecognition (https://www.deviantart.com/litrecognition) will be featuring the last week's Daily Deviations. They are wonderful pieces, and deserve that little extra boost of attention so READ THEM ALL!! Take a look-see, and give these wonderful people the Literature Community Love, if you haven't already! 2/7/19 Mercury-the-Queen (https://www.deviantart.com/mercury-the-queen) 2/8/19 MisfitableGrae (https://www.deviantart.com/misfitablegrae) 2/9/19 LaurenIpsome (https://www.deviantart.com/laurenipsome) 2/10/19 Kurt-Jarram (https://www.deviantart.com/kurt-jarram) 2/11/19 MatieuCanadaWilliams (https://www.deviantart.com/matieucanadawilliams) 2/12/19 InkyPages (https://www.deviantart.com/inkypages) 2/13/19 LiterarySerenity (https://www.deviantart.com/literaryserenity)
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never say goodbye, only see you again :)
i've been on this site for 8 years, various hiatuses/different accounts. these last few months, i started a journey i never thought to endeavor before (in terms of spirituality) — and so, here i am. dA has been the greatest tool in developing my writing style. i couldn't be more blessed. writing was never a hobby for me, it was always a means to an end. and that end is still a goal/dream i am working towards. but somewhere along the way, i stopped growing here. i found my style, became comfortable with how i wrote, and stopped growing. i'm still writing (and will be for as long as i'm alive), but i won't be posting anymore. there is a
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february in retrospect (2017)
some gorgeous work this month <3 inthespacebetween (https://www.deviantart.com/inthespacebetween) we breathe indigo.bluejayandbutsoaquarius drowsydoe (https://www.deviantart.com/drowsydoe)  bloody bleeding beautiful MisfitableGrae (https://www.deviantart.com/misfitablegrae) toeing the edge of the rubicon peaseblossoms (https://www.deviantart.com/peaseblossoms) an issue of perspective pansydiv (https://www.deviantart.com/pansydiv) cynical, arsenical, typical. runaway. sapphic and starwoven girls angelserum (https://www.deviantart.com/angelserum) empty self evaluationimpatient, irrational (rashes) gliitchlord (https://www.deviantart.com/gliitchlord) aphonia aflail we become clouds capital punishment Serendiipitii (https://www.deviantart.com/serendiipitii) the end of an era, the beginning of a dynasty BleedingProphecies (https://www.deviantart.com/bleedingprophecies)  Encore. RJBG (https://www.deviantart.com/rjbg)  KICKING  UP THE DIRT Orphically (https://www.deviantart.com/orphically) black girl magic.tiny, sideways infinities. Exnihilo-nihil (https://www.deviantart.com/exnihilo-nihil) Aux
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If I Could DD: Literature
If you could give Daily Deviations to literature, what pieces would you choose? Having once been in the position to do just that, I've learned it is a much harder job than you realize! Nonetheless, here are a few of my favorites that I would give DDs to, had I the option! You can join in this project as well! Full details about this event run by the Community Relations team can be found here: Community Feature Project: If I Could DD I hope you'll enjoy these selections! :heart:
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november in retrospect (2016)
i've decided that at the end of every month i will put together a compilation of works that i've saved to my "best" collection. they are works that deeply resonate with me, works that i feel deserve more attention. i will feature them here. here's to the best works of the month. utopia is a synonym for dystopia. by inthespacebetween (https://www.deviantart.com/inthespacebetween) living proof by celestialparanoia (https://www.deviantart.com/celestialparanoia) art history boys by pansydiv (https://www.deviantart.com/pansydiv) jarring clay by gliitchlord (https://www.deviantart.com/gliitchlord) spades by celestialparanoia (https://www.deviantart.com/celestialparanoia) an hour after losing by MisfitableGrae (https://www.deviantart.com/misfitablegrae) ethanol by pansydiv (https://www.deviantart.com/pansydiv) keep making beautiful work my friends <3 &
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Exposing the Unexposed Vol. 18
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Daily Lit Recognition for May 9th, 2016
Daily Literature Recognition for May 9th, 2016 Featured Author of the Day Suggested by: comatose-comet (https://www.deviantart.com/comatose-comet) Our featured author of the day is: MisfitableGrae (https://www.deviantart.com/misfitablegrae) :la: Suggester says: Narrowing down three poems from the superb gallery of MisfitableGrae (https://www.deviantart.com/misfitablegrae) is no easy task. A tremendous writer with a mastery of imagery and emotive language, it is difficult not to 'feel' along when reading one of her poignant explorations of the self. In particular, her writings about love and sexuality stir the heart but her entire gallery warrants close reading. An honest and free-flowing exploration of asexuality. "you were all my poems" A line t
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Literature DD Round Up: April 2016
`TheMaidenInBlack (https://www.deviantart.com/themaideninblack) Features by TheMaidenInBlack (https://www.deviantart.com/themaideninblack) :thumb586161969: :thumb562325390: :thumb601127391: :thumb461150385: :thumb542556339: :thumb604982490: :iconbrennenxr: Features by brennennn (https://www.deviantart.com/brennennn) :thumb584875817: :thumb577177653: :thumb599418202: :thumb584685883: :thumb597145560: :thumb598553011: :thumb572254334: :thumb555079852: :thumb577673840: :thumb600073030: :iconliliwrites: Features by LiliWrites (https://www.deviantart.com/liliwrites) :thumb594218678: :thumb568336909: :thumb530785861: :thumb137269188: :thumb600474377: :thumb602410978: :thumb597896709: :thumb576147309: :thumb602119941: :thumb602765925: :thumb602528738: :thumb598937527: :thumb603804707: Want to s
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Spotlight

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gravedigger
dear sarah, i wonder if sometimes you can still feel the weight of your bed sheet around your neck. heaven knows there were days i could count every thread. last night i was cleaning up my desk, and i found the scissors i used to crack my skin open four years ago and when i went to throw them out, it felt like moving mountains or graves. if you don’t know yet, you’ll learn that some types of grief leave scars—some ghosts don’t know how to stay buried. you will stumble through the rest of your life wondering if you will one day forget how it feels to toe the edge of the cliff and turn the other way. the answer is no
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Jan 27
United States
Deviant for 8 years
phasing out but also not goodbye idk read the post
good evening guys!! So I recently took down two of my most recent posts (I screenshotted every comment though, don't worry, I keep those always and forever) because I've started seriously looking into publishing. If I'm being honest, I have no idea where to start or what to do, but I think it's about time I learn how. Part of this is trying to find a wide and new audience for my writing. My friend months ago suggested trying to use instagram as a way to get more people interested and at first I laughed the idea off, but today I ended up going for it and creating an Instagram account for poems and poem pieces. I'm not sure how well this will
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GRADUATION NOW. it's honestly so surreal, i've been hearing about this day for 13 years and now it's here and i'm graduating and alive and kicking.
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exam time soon
well, more like this week. and like, i'm scraping the bottom of the barrel on songs to listen to for exam studying and just for driving and things!!! please please please give me a couple of your favorite songs i really wanna talk music with someone!!! i'm like getting desperate now. support your local poet pls!!! i'll even like clap back with one of my fave songs or something :< pls thanks i love you so much
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Comments245

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achoohoo's avatar
achoohoo|Hobbyist Writer
happy birthday!!

literally thank you so much for like existing and writing and sharing everything that you do; i'm really happy that i discovered you and your work.

wishing you a wonderful day today  drawing heart emoji by rnorals
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LiliWrites's avatar
:hug: Happy birthday! I hope the coming year holds too many treasures to count for you. 
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YouInventedMe's avatar
Happy Birthday! :cake:
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YouInventedMe's avatar
Thank you for collecting given up by ghosts.
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SandwichProtector's avatar
SandwichProtector|Student Digital Artist
from one poet to another I have to say that out of all the poems I've ever read here or anywhere yours are the most compelling and profound. i cried reading them and that usually never happens. your writing is so raw and so beautiful and I can feel everything through your work. It's unbelievably powerful . Please never stop
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Adrolyn's avatar
Adrolyn|Hobbyist Digital Artist
Have a nice birthday :party: :cake: :party:  =)
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a-nothing-girl's avatar
a-nothing-girl|Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! I hope you have a lovely day. :heart:
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