The Phantom of the Opera Translated
Subliminal messages abound in The Phantom of the Opera. Some are so entwined in such carefully constructed, phallic metaphors, that it may be difficult to sift through the passionate web of angst and decipher the lyrics' true meanings. So here, for your clarity, I have provided a translation of some of the musical's most elaborate lyrics. The original lyrics will be italicized, while the translations will not. It is my desire that your next viewing of Phantom should be an enlightened one, and my sincerest hope that these translations will clear up any confusion.
"The Phantom of the Opera"
In sleep he sang to me
(I thought this guy was, like, fake
In dreams he came
because caped, masked crusaders supposedly only exist in dreams but, hey, what do you know? There he is right there. Huh.)
That voice which calls to me and speaks my name
(I am clearly too gullible to realize that the only reason this man knows my name is because he is a glorified sta