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No Way Home Alt-Post Credits

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Literature Text

SPOILERS for Spider-Man: No Way Home


After watching "No Way Home" (which I enjoyed), it just struck me that the mid and post-credits scenes were basically just setups for future movies. I wanted to write a couple of ending scenes that would have been a little more valuable to this movie specifically and perhaps more rewarding to the audience.


I wrote this pretty quickly (and sloppily) after lying in bed thinking about it this morning, but sometimes I just have to get raw ideas out.


Again, obv. SPOILERS for No Way Home.


SPOILER SPACE

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(Peter Parker (Garfield) stands on a FAMILIAR-LOOKING porch, in civies, breathing hard, psyching himself up. He reaches for the doorbell, hesitates, pulls back, reaches again, finally jabs it. The door opens, out comes AUNT MAY (Sally Field). Her eyes widen with surprise upon seeing her nephew standing there.)


MAY: Peter?


PETER: Hey, Aunt May, I was just in the neighborhood, and well, not really, but I was just uh...


(May folds her arms, looks annoyed.)


PETER: Okay, look. I uh, just went through a "thing", and it made me think that I should... that I maybe wanna...


(Peter sighs, gesticulates wildly, sputters- frustrated.)


MAY: Take your time, dear.


PETER: (Collects himself) I-I know, these last few years, I haven't been... "present". And I know I've taken a lot of time since... but yeah, I just thought that I should be "present" again...more. Is- is that okay?


(May drops her guarded demeanor and smiles warmly. Opens the door and takes her nephew by the shoulders.)


MAY: Of course it is, Peter. Why don't you come in?


PETER: I-I've got a lot to talk to you about.


MAY: And we've got time, but I have company right now.


PETER: Oh. Oh, well, I can come back-


(May ushers Peter in by the shoulders.)


MAY: You want to be "present"? You can start right now. Anna Watson's here, remember her? Her niece is visiting and she's brought her along.


PETER: Oh, yeah- you uh, you tried to set us up on a blind date that one time.


MAY: The very same girl.


PETER: Right, right. (Sheepishly) Um, what was her name again?


(The door closes behind them. Cut to a DIFFERENT UNIVERSE. Spider-Man (Tobey) opens a window outside a SIMILARLY-FAMILIAR house to the other one and lets himself in, holding his side and wincing. He pulls his mask off, takes a breather and calls out.)


PETER: MJ?


(Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) rounds the corner and enters the room, looking annoying.)


MJ: Tiger, where the HELL have you- (sees Peter holding his side, bleeding. She rushes over to support him) Oh my god, what happened??


PETER:(Weakly) I got pulled into an alternate universe and Harry's dad stabbed me there.


MJ: (Mutters) That'll do it. C'mon, let's treat this. (Calls out) May? MAY!


(15 year-old MAY "MAYDAY" PARKER rounds the corner with headphones on, takes them off when she sees her parents and rushes over to her dad's side.)


MAYDAY: Oh geez, what happened?


MJ:(Flatly) Your father went to an alternate universe and got stabbed by a dead person.


MAYDAY: Well, that'll do it. C'mon, dad, lean on me.


(Peter supported on either side by his family, the three of them slowly move towards the door, backs to the camera.)


MAYDAY: How'd you get stabbed in the back? Aren't you always telling me not to ignore my Spider-Sense?


PETER: I was distracted, it gets harder as you get older.


MJ: Oh, May, shut the light on our way on.


MAYDAY: Got it.


(May flicks a hand out and casually shoots a GOB OF WEBBING at the switch, closing the lights as the three exit the room.)


PETER: Nice shot.


MAYDAY: I've been practicing.


End

A couple of alternate ending scenes for Spider-Man: No Way Home.  SPOILERS, obviously.
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JZLobo's avatar

That woulda been awesome, for sure.