Cerulean Mephistopheles.

2 min read

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Mikenestin's avatar
I fully intended to write an expansive journal, explaining a good many interesting subjects to my audience. But, now I come to write, I find my mind is elsewhere.
It's been a busy few weeks and I haven't had much time, and that I have had I have sorely squandered. I dearly wish I could manage what few minutes I have effectively.
This time wasting and sense of hopeless non-accomplishment makes me feel, well, if I where a lesser man I would say 'depressed.' But for the time being we'll use 'Gloomy.'
I dunno, it just feel like I have less time than everyone else. Perhaps I should make a deal with the devil. Cure my blues, grant me more time.

Oh well, I have plenty to be getting on with - certainly my coursework which includes the creation of a film synopsis and drawing of a story-board for a scene of that film. Should be fun. I'll scan it in for all of you to see and comment on if you'd like. I dearly hope I can also get all the pieces of art and letters I'd promised various people done by my birthday, which is the 31st of March to be exact. I'll be 17, and, well, I'd hoped to be a lot more awesome than I am now, but I guess these things must be worked for.
Well, I'm off to find confidence and inspiration.

Some music for ya - www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nH5Bj…
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nana-tilde-asterisk's avatar
A deal with the devil will get you nothing but a forbidden doughnut. Don't be so hasty to sell your soul for some dessert.

Mhmm.. I'm aware this may sound a bit weird now, but your journal reminds me of the music of Tom McRae. ... Maybe you have heard of him before, maybe not. .... Also, his music helped me over some gloomy times... perhaps you want to have closer look? → [link]

I hope you will feel better sooner than later. <3
Mikenestin's avatar
I went and found more of his work.I like it, esspeically 'End of the World News.' Maybe it reminds you of my journal becuase the pauses in his lyrics are very similar to my halting mode of type.
I'm starting to feel better already.
He reminds me a little of Star Sailor - [link] , this song as become my Theme music.
nana-tilde-asterisk's avatar
Yeah. Maybe. His lyrics do kind of sound like telling a story. Also his style and choice of words is very unique and tends to pessimistic optimism.... I think. Another great thing about him is that his lyrics can be interpreted very subjectly, the way you like.
I love that song too. It was one of the first that caught my attention. I was so impressed I bought all of his 3 albums in one go. x3 (If you like I could upload them...? ;3 ) Also: I highly love the songs "My Vampire Heart" and "Bloodless". But, mwah! I love them all!
Good to hear you feel better. <3
Mikenestin's avatar
Nah, I need to go show my support and buy the albums myself. ;p
Much better, thank you.
nana-tilde-asterisk's avatar
What an honest soul we have here. x3 But that's a noble thought. And I do in fact prefer buying albums instead of downloading as well, but it's not always possible... >_>
I'm glad to hear that. <3
Mikenestin's avatar
Good. I feel like a more righteous person now. Horrah!
TheGlome's avatar
Hopefully you'll be feeling less glomey soon. :p

And man.. I'm nineteen and I'm in the same boat. You'll be fine, though, you're a much more spirited man than I.
Mikenestin's avatar
I'm sure I can fight my way out of it. :p
Ah, maybe I don't have it so bad. But the feeling of time slipping away is painful to my soul.
TheGlome's avatar
Stop thinking about time unless you need to worry about appointments or something. :p There really isn't much of a use for it otherwise.
Mikenestin's avatar
I always have appointments and deadlines and things I want to get done and places I have to be. Time is not something that can just be ignored.
TheGlome's avatar
My bad - I had a recent conversation with someone who was feeling bad about getting older and, therefore, must have sent the wrong signals to you. :p

I guess I need to know what you mean by "time-wasting". And think about what you can do - what you want to do - and do it during that time instead of whatever you feel is a waste.

My time management course endowed me with a bunch of useful tips for such things, don't hesitate to ask.
Mikenestin's avatar
Urh - how do you stop doing the stupid time wasting things, like the internet. And get down to what is harder to get into but more fufilling - like drawing?
TheGlome's avatar
It depends on what you're doing on the internet though. If you're on DA getting constructive feedback then it isn't a waste of your time.

But, if you want to stop: then stop, but slowly, and carefully begin to replace wasted time with more important things. You'll find the right balance after some time.
Mikenestin's avatar
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Gouch's avatar
s'been a while since you showed your face in these parts. Why the absence?
Mikenestin's avatar
College work, largely. Hot girlfriend, secondly.
Gouch's avatar
good stuff. untill yesterday I hadn't seen my bird in like a month T____T
Mikenestin's avatar
Ah - I know how that feels. Worth it though... :D
elementc's avatar
Hey man don't feel bad. I'd bet money I'm a bigger procrastinator than you!! (If I were a betting man!!)

I've got far more time than you and somehow I've managed to waste the majority of high school doing jack shit. I'm actually trying to change that to some extent. Over the summer I'm probably going to cram math into my brain.
Mikenestin's avatar
Gentlemen, gentlemen - I'm afraid I win. Becuase I am the first to address my situation in a self-piteous manner; truely the sign of the most pathetic.
TheGlome's avatar
...And I'm worse than YOU are. :p

I'm cramming math into my brain right now.
elementc's avatar
Wait... that doesn't make sense at all. If you're already doing what I said I SHOULD be doing that means you're procrastinating LESS!!

Mike might have a point though. I'm not sure, but I don't think I've made any journal entries about my problem. :D :D
TheGlome's avatar
Ok... what I meant was that I probably procrastinate more than you. :p

Mike always has a point! That's the difference between him and I!
Athenazero's avatar
Wow, I guess Aries have similar thoughts. ^_^

I've been feeling the same way for a couple of weeks now, and oddly enough, contemplating, "Heck... if I made a deal with the devil, I could certainly have more time to (insert job or action here)." Usually it's for sleep, relaxing, or getting my assignments done.

Depression seems too strong to be how I feel, and I would agree with you that gloomy would best define it. My birthday is in the beginning of April and I too will turn 17. These similarities are odd, but interesting to say the least. ^_^

I hope you start feeling a little happier in these next few weeks. Life's too short to be gloomy, and we both agree that time goes by so fast.
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