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The Ambivalence Treadmill

Wed Aug 1, 2007, 8:47 PM
  • Listening to: the crickets outside
  • Reading: virus removal instructions
  • Watching: my thermostat
  • Playing: solitaire
  • Eating: shrimp cocktail
  • Drinking: a black cherry wine cooler
Well.... I hope everyone's enjoying their summer.

Me.... I can't quite decide. It's definately my favorite time of year despite the mosquitos. It's just been a little hard to get out there and enjoy it when it's 95+ degrees...the humidity makes it feel like it's 102...and you're limited to public transportation so you can't get to the beach.  I SO miss having my own car! :(

Now one would think that I'd enjoy being unfettered by a job ...ESPECIALLY in the middle of summer. I definately am NOT missing the daily grind....but...I'm rapidly becoming (oh the horror) BORED!!

Here's hoping the weather gets more reasonable over the next week so I can do a little exploration without risk of melting :D

In the meantime, I'll be posting some new stock photos from my last brief excursion in the next couple of days....And...Keep myself busy working on a new set of brushes.

Take care everyone! :)

My stock account can be found here :iconmidnightstouchstock:


Thu Jun 21, 2007, 6:48 PM
  • Listening to: my tears drop
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: an empty spot on the couch
  • Eating: too depressed to eat
  • Drinking: a pepsi
Sadder than sadder than sad

Yesterday....was a very hard day (and today wasn't any easier)

After lots of agonizing and tears, we went to the vets to hold our beautiful Misty while she took her last breath.

We got her 14 years ago, this amazing bundle of soft white fur, exhuberant energy, ice blue eyes and the soul of an angel.

The people we got her from told us she was a Husky-Lab cross...the sweetest in the litter, and they weren't wrong.  I've never in my life known a gentler, sweeter more loving dog. She loved everyone!

She hardly ever barked, and never snapped or growled, even in the last few months when she was in pain and could barely walk.  After doing everything we could possibly do to make her more comfortable, we were inevitably faced with the hardest task. Letting her go.  

I've spent my day crying, passing the spot where she slept on the couch. Crying when I knew it was time to feed her and didn't hear the clack of her nails coming across the kitchen floor. Crying when I didn't feel the press of her cold nose against my hand when she wanted to be let out.

Crying because I miss her soft eyes looking at me with unconditional love.

Despite all the sorrow I feel...I wouldn't  give back one single second of the last 14 years to stop the heartache and tears. I know that eventually they'll stop on their own...and I'll be left with the sweetest memories that will make me smile.

I just wish eventually would get here a little quicker.

We miss you Misty


My stock account can be found here :iconmidnightstouchstock:

Ten Thousand Pageviews !!!

Fri May 4, 2007, 7:17 PM
  • Listening to: the rain fall
  • Reading: a bus schedule
  • Watching: the rain fall
  • Playing: a tambourine
  • Eating: nothing...too full from pizza for dinner
  • Drinking: a pepsi

Wow! That's alot of people!

I just want to thank  everyone who watches, visits and takes the time to comment and stay in touch. Your support and encouragement is greatly appreciated. Thanks to all of you for making this such a great community to be a part of!  :hug:

Have an awesome weekend everyone!

My stock account can be found here midnightstouchstock.deviantart…

Trip Pics and Stock

Sun Apr 22, 2007, 6:19 PM
  • Listening to: Pachelbel's Canon
  • Reading: a weeks worth of messages
  • Watching: my pictures load
  • Playing: catch-up
  • Eating: hot tamales
  • Drinking: a pepsi
For those of you who were waiting....  *drum roll* ... the photos from my trip are finally uploaded .....and.......I've started a stock account...TADA!!! :laughing: can find the pics here midnightstouchstock.deviantart…

Hope some of you find the photos useful for manips. As always,  comments,  tips and input are always welcome :)

For the time being, I've decided to leave all the brushes on this account (too much effort to transfer them all and I'm lazy by nature :D )


Hope it's been a great weekend everyone!

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Fri Apr 20, 2007, 8:04 PM
  • Listening to: Pachelbel's Canon
  • Reading: a weeks worth of messages
  • Watching: my pictures load
  • Playing: catch-up
  • Eating: hot tamales
  • Drinking: a pepsi
Wow!!! What a wonderful trip!

Victoria is incredibly beautiful, and a week is not NEARLY enough time to visit. Mind you I did make every minute count!
Malahat, Goldstream, Mount Doug, Stanley Park, Grouse Mountain, The Titanic Exhibit at the museum, Sydney, Duncan, Vancouver, the ferries, The Capilano suspension bridge, Beacon Hill Park, The Inner Harbour, Dallas Road, the Ogden Point Breakwater. Thank god for digital cameras and 1 gig memory cards! :lol:

My sister in law spoiled me half to death and chauffered me everywhere.  I will most definately be planning a return trip! :D

Now comes the task of playing catch-up!

I'm hoping to upload some photos from the trip by the end of this weekend. I'm also tinkering with the idea of opening a stock account on DA  with the first submissions being photos taken in BC. I've also started a set of new brushes, and hopefully will have them complete by the end of the following week.

When am I ever going to find time to look for a new job ?? :giggle:
I may just have to take the entire summer off :D

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane

Tue Apr 10, 2007, 9:43 AM
  • Listening to: Jet Airliner by Steve Miller Band
  • Reading: a list of things to pack
  • Watching: the geese fly by
  • Playing: at being adventurous
  • Eating: a nanaimo bar
  • Drinking: a pepsi
Though I do know when I'll be back again :D

So much happening in my life right now, so it's an odd time to be taking a trip, but when it's all expenses paid....who's to argue! :laughing:

I had to quit my job recently. Some carpal tunnel like thing happening so it was next to impossible to type 60 words a minute when you can't feel the keyboard :(  Not to happy about the whole situation, since I really loved everything about the job and the company I worked for.

This may be one of those silver lining things though since this has provided a possibility of going back to school.

My oldest,  decided that since I had free time, and could use a little cheering up....needed a vacation.  And being a thoughtful and suppportive soul, funded the whole thing, right down to spending cash :D

I'm off to Victoria BC this Friday, me and my walking shoes and digital camera!  :dance: A whole week of R&R and exploring. Looking forward to it immensely. I live on a prairie....flat....flat....flat and it's going to be my first look at the mountains. I'm prepared to be awestruck! :D

Have a great rest of the week everyone!


Wed Mar 28, 2007, 6:38 PM
  • Listening to: Kenny Wayne Shepperd
  • Reading: A recipe for chicken wings
  • Watching: paint dry
  • Playing: solitaire
  • Eating: a chicken ceasar wrap
  • Drinking: a pepsi
I was looking at my gallery and realized that I'd submitted 49 sets of brushes.  I guess I'm going to have to round that off to an even 50 :D

Now...I haven't yet run out of ideas just yet, but I am intrested in knowing what folks might like to see in the way of brushes. Soooooooooooo.....I'm open to suggestions :)

Have a great rest of the week y'all!
  • Listening to: My new Ipod Nano
  • Reading: The Black Dahlia
  • Watching: 20/20
  • Playing: a zippo
  • Eating: chicken fingers
  • Drinking: a pepsi
And I was awarded second place for my piece Cirque du Soleil!!  :dance: That's so cool!  Especially so since I only started dabbling in PS and digital artwork a little less than a year ago.  

Thanks so much to  Longstock :iconlongstock: and Cookiekitty :iconcookiekitty: for hosting the contest and providing such wonderful stock and a very big thank you to all those who contributed prizes.

Everyone who entered did a great job and all the entries were awesome.

You can see all the entries here…

Have a great weekend everyone! :)
  • Listening to: My new Ipod Nano
  • Reading: Centennial
  • Watching: a rerun of Friends
  • Playing: with my hair
  • Eating: french toast
  • Drinking: a pepsi
The rules:
the 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things/hates about yourself" and people who get tagged MUST write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things/hates as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours.

I was tagged by :iconbr0wnnie:

1) I have this weird thing with football players names. Every season, I find one player with a really unusual name, and he becomes my favorite player that year. It all started with Peter Tuipolotu....and has since included Yo Murphy, Mike Abou-Mechreck, Moe get the idea.

2) I hate it that I'm not an assertive person. In fact I usually give in to things just to avoid conflict.

3) I tend to go through life exploring an endless series of short lived passionate obssessions. I've spent months trying to come up with the ulitmate hot wing recipe, then veered off to downloaing every unusual font under the sun, to reading every Steven King book ever written. Currently my passionate obssession seems to be PS brushes :lol:

4) I have a high intolerance to repetavive noises. This can be a problem when you have a musician in the household who has a propensity to tap incessantly.

5) I hate being 5'10" !!!! Especially when all the really hot guys in my life seem to have been about 5'8"

6) I am deathly afraid of moths. I know this is ridiculous....I just don't know how to change it.

Well....that's it, in a nut shell :D

I'n conclusion....I tag.....






  • Listening to: Colin James
  • Reading: digital camera reviews
  • Watching: the weather forecast
  • Playing: nothing at all
  • Eating: a wintergreen lifesaver
  • Drinking: a pepsi's the dilema.

It's my birthday tomorrow ( but, that's not the reason for my request for help....I don't think anyone can make me 21 again :giggle: )  I get to go gift shopping. My buying me a digital camera. The problem is, I'm not exceptionally educated in terms of digital cameras.

I think I've narrowed it down to two

A Sony Cyber-Shot 6.0MP Digital  (DSC-W30)

Or a Canon PowerShot A530 5.0MP Digital

Any opinions, reviews, suggestions...would be much appreciated.

I'm thinking that this whole camera thing could lead to more PS brushes and even some stock photos...which has me pretty excited :D

Thank you...and happy Friday everyone!!!!
  • Listening to: ZZ Top
  • Reading: all my messages
  • Watching: Tristan & Isolde
  • Playing: with a jelly bean
  • Eating: home made pizza
  • Drinking: a pepsi
I have a new job!! I start Monday!! :boogie:

There are of course pluses and minuses to this's about 10 minutes from home

Minus...I start at 7:30 am. This is only a minus because I'm NOT a morning person :lol:

Plus...I finish at 3:30!  I'm going to feel like I'm getting out of school!

Minus...It's a bimonthy as opposed to a bi-weekly pay day. Have to rearrange my whoooooooole budget :(

Plus plus plus...I'm not on the phone at all...ever. NO customer service involved

Minus...It's a drop in wages :(

Plus....there's LOTS of opportunity for advancement (which would mean an increase in wages :) )

Plus....a better benefit package than I had before

Plus...Monday to weekends EVER and ALL the normal holidays off...including boxing day (all the Canadians know what that means :lol: )

PLUS PLUS PLUS...I NEVER AGAIN HAVE TO WALK INTO THE HELL ON EARTH THAT I WORKED IN BEFORE!!! (do you get the feeling that I hated my job?? :lol: )

All things considered...I think the pluses out weigh the minuses :D

Am I happy??? YES!!

Wish me luck! :)

Have a good rest of the weekend everyone...and a great start to next week! :)
  • Listening to: Kenny Wayne Sheppard
  • Reading: a recipe for teriyaki sauce
  • Watching: the snow melt
  • Playing: an elastic band
  • Eating: sweet and sour ribs
  • Drinking: a pepsi
I'm not sure how I'm liking this unemployed thing. Technically I suppose I'm not unemployed, just on stress leave....but somehow it feels the same as unemployed. Although  all things considered, it's a darn sight better than wrestling myself into an office I hate every morning. There are new things on the horizon though, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

In the meantime....working on brushes , brushes and more brushes :lol:
  • Listening to: Bob Dylan Modern Times
  • Reading: an application for stress leave
  • Watching: My dog sleep
  • Playing: with my hair
  • Eating: a tootsie roll
  • Drinking: a pepsi
I've been scouring the net looking for a stock photo of a jury box (or something of a similar nature). Has anyone out there run across one in their wanders? If so....could you please let me know? I'd appreciate it loads!

  • Listening to: Silence
  • Reading: Long lost emails
  • Watching: Nothing appeals right now
  • Eating: too depressed to eat
  • Drinking: Wish I was
Sometimes is just too unkind :(  I was contacted on Monday night and told that my best friend, had passed away in his sleep on Saturday morning.

I don't  ache in my heart so much even for my sake, though I will miss him dearly, as much as I do for the wife and three children that he adored. I'm sad for the fact that someone who so loved life, and those around him, won't ever get to experience the things that other people I know take for granted or even don't appreciate. Hence my current view that life is just too unkind and completey unfair sometimes.
My first commission!

Well, sort of I guess. :lol: I'v been requested to do a banner for a My Space account for a local band.
Some might consider it nepotism, since it is my son's band. However, since I will be treated to an evening of fine dining in payment, it is technically a commissioned assignment :rofl:

Well, we all gotta start somewhere :lol:

Thought of the week :

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." - Harriet Beecher Stowe

I guess

Wed Jul 5, 2006, 9:37 PM
It's about time to do a new journal entry,

it's been a while. The problem is, there doesn't seem to be anything to journalize about. Not that that's a bad thing...sometimes no news is good news :lol:

Thought of the week: To lazy to think :lol:

Two days to the weekend!
  • Listening to: Suicide Note
  • Reading: Deadly After Dark anthology
  • Watching: Nothing appeals right now
A thousand views! :dance: I never realized the edge brush pack would go over so well, so thanks to everyone who viewed and downloaded them :hug:

Working on some new brushes as we speak...and hopefully they're improving as I go along.  They're definately fun to make, and use.

Since the edges were such a hit, I'll do up another batch sometime soon.

Thought of the week:

The road of excess, leads to the palace of wisdom
only half your brain is working? I think one half of mine went AWOL sometime in the latter half of last week. I find myself doing things that would make an  amoeba question my place on the evolutionary ladder.

I'm trying hard to convince myself this is just something temporary but I'm not certain I'm buying my own arguement.

Perhaps....tomorrow  I'll be better *L*

Thought of the week

"A fool must now and then, be right by chance"

Brushes...wallpaper, brushes, wallpaper? I'm having mood swings *L*

Thought of the week:

Every animal leaves traces of  what it was. Man alone leaves traces of what he created.

Happy hump day! :)
On a new tangent. Current obsession, making wallpapers...or at least attempting to.

We'll see how it goes.

Thought of the week (this fits into my job) :

Never argue with stupid people. First, they'd drag you down to their level, then, they'll beat you with experience.