|Always writing ... about emotions mainly.|
I am angry and this is my engery.
I write about everything.
I love and live nights.
I care about politics (because human rights are politics).
Polyamorous, more on the relationship anarchy side of things (as opposed to hierarchical models).
I wish I could change my username. It's from when I was 14 (now I'm 22) and it doesn't really suit me anymore.
If you're thinking of sending me a letter, keep itDon't come back.
No matter how many times I ask you to.
Cuz we both know it's gonna end with me crying on the bathroom floor,
begging someone to hold me.
It's gonna end with you so doped up that you don't remember your own name.
There will be poetry books filled with our heartache and words I could never say.
Don't come back.
I'm begging you.
An Open Letter To The Girl I Once WasDear me,
You're gonna meet a man. He'll come crashing into your life just when you think about ending it. You'll think he's saving you. Baby, he's not. He was never meant to save you. I once told you to invite him for a cigarette. I'm not saying you shouldn't, I'm saying be careful. It starts with a cigarette and ends in heartbreak. You'll have inside jokes from the very first day and you'll feel like you've known him for lifetimes. The first time he kisses you, you'll forget how to breathe. I know that sounds cliche, but there's a reason people say it. Just be careful. In a few months, he'll leave. You'll cry harder than you've ever cried before. Then you'll try to replace him, finding a guy who reminds you of his smile. He's coming back, I promise. He tells you he'll never make the mistake of leaving again. Hold that promise in the back of your mind, never forget it. He leaves again.
Sometimes you shouldn't go with your instinctsWhen someone asked where I see myself in 5 years my initial instinct was to say your name
I'm Sorry MommyPlease don't do it
I promise to be good
Just don't hurt me again
I promise not to talk anymore
Mommy I'm sorry
Please stop showing me the pictures
I know he is gone I miss him too
Stop rubbing him in my face..
Mommy I'm sorry
I love you so much
Please stop hurting me
Can't you see I'm already doing that
Please don't give me the bottle..
I don't wanna drink tonight
I'm so sorry Mommy
Mommy please stop
Why do you do that?
Please leave my body alone..
I thought it was pretty before,,
Why must you keep hurting me with your words?
They make the voices worse
They tell me I'm such a horrible daughter
Mommy I'm sorry
I just wanted to express myself
Please don't punish me any longer
Please don't take away my gateways
Why do you keep hurting me?
I only love you..
Yet you despise me to no end
Mommy I love you..
Please just love me back
Gay Rights Suicide
To those who have suffered.....
Gay Rights Suicide
Suicide always seemed like the way to go at the time. I felt sad, ya'know? I got this feeling no one cared if I was dead or alive and then I questioned myself every time I was alone to think.
Maybe it was because I started to like her. Yea, 'her'. There wasn't anything super special about her, but to me she was just so perfect.
Oh, did I mention I was a girl? Hmm, well I am. Now that we cleared that up I'm sure this will make more sense; or perhaps less.
I can remember all the times we had together. When she was brush her fingers through my hair I would smile and keep quiet. I didn't have anything to say, but my heart did the talking for me. It left me speechless and I often wondered if it made her think I was being rude?
That wasn't the
breaking stereotypesi'm too afraid to lay down on the ground here
because the last time i did that,
hands sprouted from the roots of the old oak out back and
tried to drag me down into the
tunnels of an ant mound
and i don't think i could live through that again.
once i jumped so high on the trampoline i felt
gravity escaping me and
every fiber of my being dropped pounds and
i became almost weightless and i think
that's what made me addicted to the idea of
floating on air
the vacuum sucked the oxygen
from my lungs and
i'm still out of breath,
all my fingers are numb and the
stars are still playing beats on my ribs like
they were fascinated with bleached-white bones and
blood cells burrowed in the center of my bones,
exposed with just enough pressure from their stardust-padded
mallets (they liked b o n e m a r r o w, i guess i was playing with the
stars / hearts of
they read my fate and path like
tarot cards except
something in their glimmer made m
Untitled XXXIIIyou came and you coaxed and you created.
emotion and contrast.
conscientious but clouding.
womeni remember noticing your breasts
how they were larger than mine
how i imagined my hands fitting over them
or if they could fit over them ;
i remember asking myself if this is what lust is
if the memory of your hair smelling like clean sheets
and cheap conditioner
if that was enough to convince me i was falling for you ;
i had never kissed a woman before you—
before you I was wrapped up in used condoms
and masculinities as fragile as my words
now i’m wrapped up in you and when and if and how i can touch you ;
i'm wrapped up in you
and how you've shown me how beautiful all these women are
On my knees in the desertHow many time have I prayed for rain,
On my knees in the dry desert?
How many times have I asked for shade?
Only to be blistered and burned by a merciless sun.
How many times have I seen an oasis,
That was nothing more than a mirage in the sunlight?
How many times has my soul died,
While the vultures circle above?
I think they've already picked clean my bleached bones?
A Well-Earned Thank You When I was younger, I never imagined my life would be so full of change.
Unfortunately for younger me, life is uncertain, surprising, and very strange.
Maybe I should be saying fortunately, because now I see that some change isn't bad.
You're a perfect example, and when I think about what you've changed, I feel very glad.
I still remember begging you for cotton candy and throwing a fit when you told me no.
Sometimes I wonder if you saw that first meeting as the start of troubles and woe.
Back then, I didn't appreciate the fact that you walked into something completely new
Simply out of love for Mom, but now I see that risk and think it says a lot about you.
You never tried to replace Dad, nor did you ever expect us kids to treat you like one.
You've simply been you, all the while doing something I didn't think could be done.
By that, I mean you've taken someone who sees themselves as a complete mess
And show them that they are capable of so much more