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Literature Text
I have never been to Britain,
No, I never ever have.
I've never been to Britain,
But I can speak like a chav.
A lot of my folks come
From that rainy isle you see.
So there were lots of British people
Inside my t.v.
I like the British humour,
And I like the British hat.
British colonialism?
I could live without that.
Still, I'd like to go to Britain,
Just to see it once or twice.
I might not want to live there
But a visit could be nice!
No, I never ever have.
I've never been to Britain,
But I can speak like a chav.
A lot of my folks come
From that rainy isle you see.
So there were lots of British people
Inside my t.v.
I like the British humour,
And I like the British hat.
British colonialism?
I could live without that.
Still, I'd like to go to Britain,
Just to see it once or twice.
I might not want to live there
But a visit could be nice!
Wrote a silly little thing, I quite like it. I was thinking very 'Oxford Collection of Light Verse' when I wrote it.
[edit] I just realized you may sing this to the tune of 'gay or european' from Legally Blonde the Musical if you are so inclined
[edit] I just realized you may sing this to the tune of 'gay or european' from Legally Blonde the Musical if you are so inclined
© 2019 - 2024 Mertus
Comments3
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Thus, Good Mertus I make reply:
DIDO*
I have not been to Canada;
No money in the bank.
I have not been to Canada
And don’t sound like a Yank.
I know not where my folks come from
And never will be sure,
But, “mum,” I say, and never, “mom”.
Of that you can be sure
I like the Canuck from the pub
He wears a stupid hat.
But maple syrup on pancakes,
No, I’ll have none of that.
I don’t know that I’d like to go
To anywhere as cold
But, if I do, it must be soon
Because I’m getting old.
*Doggerel In, Doggerel-Out
I love writing doggerel.
Please note: genuine crap but written in genuine ballad metre (my favourite: heptameters. In this case iambic ones).