literature

Britain

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Mertus's avatar
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Literature Text

I have never been to Britain,
No, I never ever have.
I've never been to Britain,
But I can speak like a chav.
A lot of my folks come
From that rainy isle you see.
So there were lots of British people
Inside my t.v.
I like the British humour,
And I like the British hat.
British colonialism?
I could live without that.
Still, I'd like to go to Britain,
Just to see it once or twice.
I might not want to live there
But a visit could be nice!
Wrote a silly little thing, I quite like it. I was thinking very 'Oxford Collection of Light Verse' when I wrote it. 

[edit] I just realized you may sing this to the tune of 'gay or european' from Legally Blonde the Musical if you are so inclined
© 2019 - 2024 Mertus
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xtcgm's avatar

Thus, Good Mertus I make reply:

 

DIDO*

 

I have not been to Canada;

No money in the bank.

I have not been to Canada

And don’t sound like a Yank.

I know not where my folks come from

And never will be sure,

But, “mum,” I say, and never, “mom”.

Of that you can be sure

I like the Canuck from the pub

He wears a stupid hat.

But maple syrup on pancakes,

No, I’ll have none of that.

I don’t know that I’d like to go

To anywhere as cold

But, if I do, it must be soon

Because I’m getting old.

 

 

*Doggerel  In, Doggerel-Out

 

I love writing doggerel.

Please note: genuine crap but written in genuine ballad metre (my favourite: heptameters.  In this case iambic ones).