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About Literature / Artist Core Member Melanophren22/United States Group :iconbookartandideas: BookArtAndIdeas
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Deviant for 4 Years
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Sun Oct 7, 2018, 9:23 PM
today i think i had one of the worst mental breakdowns i've ever had

which is funny because yesterday was one of the best i've had in recent memory

of course, it's not really funny, that's just what people say

yesterday i had a great spontaneous adventure with a person who i currently consider one of my best friends

today i was on the floor fucking crying my eyes out while my mom was just sitting there completely incapable of even really acknowledging what was happening

it's surreal--reality, that is

it's like i don't exist quite in the way i always thought i did

it's like nothing matters, but the concepts good and bad have no weigh-in on the subject

it's like... nothing, except itself, and there are no words to completely describe it, and it doesn't even matter because it happened, yet...

we always wish it was somehow different--even being completely content is weird and there's this knee-jerk reaction to it

and you always bounce back; always

at the end of the day, me and you still exist, and that's that

there's nothing but us and our experiences... and that's a little terrifying and incredible all at once

it's like time is meaningless and the next second might as well be forever away, and the past is infinitely unreachable and there's just right. this. second.

life is right now... but it's also flavored with the past and made important by the future

i guess what i'm trying to say, if anything, is that i don't have an explicit purpose, but i exist--right here, right now

in these words and the physical space that i presently occupy, which, for all intents and purposes, shall remain forever

i guess that's what charlie from perks of being a wallflower meant when he said he felt infinite

it's tremendous and a mess, but it's us

so, like... yeah

keep on keeping on?

it' what we as extant beings do: exist


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Evilhappy Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Just my honest feelings. 
Melanophren Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2018   Writer
Thank you; that is most kind of you to say small heart - black 
Evilhappy Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
I can't land on a poem of yours that is my favorite. Your writing is beautiful in its darkness and I want more the more I read. You are incredible, please never stop. 
Melanophren Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2018   Writer
Thank you kindly. I don't feel particularly deserving of such praise, but I am grateful for it nonetheless.
RJBG Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2018
Hey there, Incredible work! Masterfully crafted!!!
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