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birthday house 2: electricstopthat.

Journal Entry: Wed Sep 1, 2010, 6:56 PM
  • Reading: the child thief
  • Playing: chrono trigger
we've worked on the house for a full year now, and in the next couple weeks, the paperwork will be all down. we'll own our house.

it's been a bit rough--the house has neither heat nor AC, so we've been roughing it since we moved in last november. we also haven't had internet, and have had to beg from friends (which, haha, seems to be the fastest way to deduce who actually likes you, and who is only nice in public because they think they have to be. ouch). however, the radiator system will be fully functional by this coming winter, we have a renter to help with the bills, and now that things are calming down, we'll be able to afford internet again.

my office/studio/room-thing will be finished by the end of this month. i'll actually have an office. i won't be huddled on the side of our bed, listening to my husband sleep while i work in silence.

i can't tell you how excited i am.


i've updated my website:
and of course, chapter 2 of godsend starts sept. 6:…

and maybe i'll manage to make a few more updates this year.

  • Listening to: "trouble is a friend"--lenka
  • Reading: encyclopedia dramatica
  • Playing: ff6 advance
so, we've been house-hunting for at least four or five months now. some of our friends think we're insane--we're young, we're artists, we can barely feed ourselves. but those are actually precisely the reasons we've been house-hunting. my husband's wages have not been rising, but the costs of rent and food have been. in a fit of despair and daydreaming, i decided to look at some houses online--and stumbled across a foreclosed home that was absolutely darling. the website it was listed on happened to list, in addition to the price, what that price equaled in monthly mortgage+insurance costs.

it was half what we were paying in rent.

and being that all our other attempts at climbing out of the crap-hole we'd fallen into had failed, and we like our city anyway, we figured, why the fuck not?

over the next couple months of looking, the first three bids we made fell through. we then learned that, at the price range we were looking at, the banks weren't taking loans. they ONLY wanted cash offers (ie, investors). it didn't matter that we were willing to offer double the listing the price, they only wanted cash.

so, my in-laws swooped in on wings made of awesome, took out a loan against their house (which they certainly couldn't afford to do), and got us cash to make a proper bid with. and today, which happens to be my birthday, i get to see the inside of the house my in-laws have made a successful bid on.

once we've got it all fixed up (there's a lot to be said for sweat equity), we're buying it from them. we should have a proper home by winter.

no more moving. no more feeling like worthless moochers on our friends' couches. no more roach-infested moldy ghettos. fuck yes. we are thrilled. happy birthday, happy thanksgiving, happy christmas easter ramadan purim passover and martin luther king jr day to us. i'm 26 today, btw.
  • Listening to: "baltimore"--stephan malkmus
  • Reading: twitter
  • Playing: with my cat
  • Drinking: root beer
on deviantart:
:icongolddragonfly: has started a contest to show support for the iranian protesters. all the entries will be compiled into a youtube video (recalling that web 2.0 IS both their voice and ears right now), and the best couple will receive deviantart subscriptions. you don't have to do some amazing work of art--just make an image that tells the protesters you hear them and you care.

on twitter:
----do not retweet the names or accounts of iranians.----
incorrect. bad meme is bad. read here for a proper education:…

change your timezone to Tehran's. and if you've got some spare time on your hands--watch #iranelection and block the accounts that are blatantly spamming or spreading disinfo. enough people block them, and they go away. until they make a new account, anyway.

on the wider web (if you're tech savvy):
set up proxies. the iranian government has hackers and tech people of their own, so new proxies are ALWAYS needed. additional details here.

it's not much, but every little bit helps.

catch up with events and information here.
  • Listening to: "what if no one's watching"--ani difranc
  • Reading: dragon ball
  • Watching: burn after reading
  • Playing: chrono trigger DS
  • Drinking: eggnog
it's been a rough year. more than a year, actually. things have been low since i lost my job last year. a real roller coaster of a ride.

i've started this post, and restarted it, about five times now. i feel like i should say something--it's that time of year. resolutions and summaries and "looking to the future." but i'm sort of at a loss.

so, fuck the summary.

the holidays were good. i've got the new chrono trigger port in my pocket, and extra cash for bills. and by the end of january, we'll be out of the ghetto.

i've never lived in such a miserable place before. just the thought of leaving does a lot to lift my spirits.

2009 has to be better.
  • Listening to: lily allen
  • Reading: osamu tezuka's "Buddha"
  • Watching: deep space 9
  • Playing: zOMG
barack obama is president!

but prop 8 in CA passed. similar things were passed in Florida, Arizona, and Arkansas (in arkansas, it was decided that gays could not adopt. because getting shifted from foster home to foster home is sooo much better for children). so i'm pissed about that.

but i'm glad obama is president.
  • Listening to: dr. horrible
  • Reading: immortal unicorn anthology
  • Watching: witch hunter robin
  • Playing: pokemon pearl
  • Drinking: green tea ginger ale
"anyway, this caused my employers to have a fit, convinced that i am too emotionally mucked up to finish the book (we've already had every other conceivable delay under the sun).

and i am posting about this because i am proud of myself. i had two projects besides this book, and i am finishing everything on time. successful putting-on of big girl panties. yes."

i posted that in my last entry. seems i spoke too soon. i was taken off the book. my first book. instead of taking time to mourn my grandfather, i worked through, busted my ass--i did the best i can do. but they decided i "didn't care enough" (should i have used blood instead of ink?), and that i was "too difficult to work with."

i've learned two things from this:

a) work-for-hire sucks ass. i'm not doing it again.
b) people come first. my grandfather was too sick to come to my wedding. i thought if i could make this book awesome in his memory, i would be okay not mourning. my mistake. i'm not okay. this isn't okay.

my name's still going to be on the cover of the book. but i'm afraid to see what they're going to do to it. i won't be advertising it. i won't be linking to it. i won't be posting any of the work i did for it here.

i did a lot of work i was very proud of for that book. it will go in my website portfolio. but that's it.

i have another project though. and my writer on that (not work-for-hire), when i confessed my former employer's judgement of me, smiled and said "good. i'm hard to work with too."

that statement has been surprisingly comforting. when i have the go-ahead, i will post stuff from that project.
  • Listening to: kill bill soundtrack
  • Reading: hellboy
  • Drinking: organic milk omg
so i got married. it was a cheap, quiet affair involving sneaking into a public garden (that usually charges tons of money to host weddings) and eating at a chinese buffet. we're poor, so no honeymoon. which is fine, honest to god. we don't care, and we have lots of things we're in the midst of handling (i'm trying to be a comic artist, and he starts grad school soon).

and then, maybe a month or two after the wedding, my grandfather (my favorite person, actually) shot himself for a multitude of reasons that really just boil down to him not wanting to be a burden on my family. his funeral was a bizarre collection of mormons, mennonites, and recovering alcoholics. for the record, mennonites make damn good coffee.

anyway, this caused my employers to have a fit, convinced that i am too emotionally mucked up to finish the book (we've already had every other conceivable delay under the sun).

and i am posting about this because i am proud of myself. i had two projects besides this book, and i am finishing everything on time. successful putting-on of big girl panties. yes.

i mean, it's not all done yet. but i've met all the deadlines so far, with some juggling. and i'll have one more project out of the way in the next day or so, which leaves me just one left.

i don't know how i'll cope with just one left.
  • Listening to: the unicorns
  • Watching: paprika
  • Drinking: verner's ginger soda
on friday, february the 29th. and, i recently got my very first paycheck for comics work. if i get permission, i'll post some sketches up.
  • Listening to: "outta me, onto you"--ani difranco
  • Reading: "i killed adolf hitler"--jason
  • Watching: utena
  • Drinking: cocoa
i had a teacher in college with whom i frequently butted heads. see, i had this fantasy in my head that when i went to college, i would LEARN things. he had had gotten past it, over, and so far beyond it that he had come to the point where he didn't even bother to really teach--at least, not the things i had signed up for the classes to LEARN.

now, everyone thought i hated the man because of how often i called him on his bullshit (i had him for several required classes). i didn't. i was just incredibly frustrated with him because at least the other teachers PRETENDED to teach. but, this man was exceptionally memorable because, as bad and blatantly apathetic to teaching as he was, he was amazingly likable.

it's hard to bear a grudge for a man who, when snapped at and flipped off by a student (*cough* me) in front of everyone, then laughs like santa and buys everyone nachos. it was only after i graduated and tallied up what i had actually learned in college that i realized he'd probably been one of only a handful of honest people on faculty. i had two real teachers that actually taught me things. the rest were hacks, incompetents and liars--and this man, patrick power, who was the only one "in on the joke."

in the time since i graduated, he married, had a baby--and died. and i'm fucking shocked, because he's not the sort of person you ever think of dying. as though the measure of insufferability he possessed would naturally render him immortal.

well, he's left behind not only the infant son and widow, but a mass of medical and legal bills (which makes me afraid to ask what happened, honestly, because that sort of thing suggests a really painful death). so, his siblings have set up an art auction and donation box to help the injured family handle everything.

if you can spare any money, or donate/buy any art, please do.
  • Listening to: "a little cream soda"--white stripes
  • Reading: "moebius"--jean giraud
  • Watching: pom poko
  • Drinking: coconut juice
i got a DD. thanks guys^^; things have been kinda tense lately, with the unemployment and all, so this feels really good.

for those of you just now visiting, i have a sketch journal , as well as a webcomic… that updates on mondays--both on livejournal… , or, if you prefer, on my website .
  • Listening to: "uninvited"--alanis morissette
  • Reading: "moebius"--jean giraud
  • Watching: "memories"--katsuhiro otomo
  • Drinking: hot cocoa
well. i didn't get that job.

but! there are other things on the horizon, so, maybe it was for the best.

dropped off my files at the local printshop, and i should have actual comic books, that i made, in my hands at the end of the week. which leaves next week free to wrap up the last of my preparations for AMA.

if you want a copy, let me know in a note. we'll work out payment and shipping there.
  • Listening to: "apres moi"--regina spektor
  • Reading: "black zodiac"--charles wright
  • Watching: tokyo grandfathers
  • Drinking: miso soup
and there it went when i wasn't looking.

-i was invited to join Sugar Skull, and now post a new page of First Kingdom there every monday.

-i am also doing a drawing class at Anime Mid-Atlantic, but haven't decided quite what to teach, whether cartooning, a figure class, or a comics class. any suggestions/opinions/votes would be greatly appreciated. i should (fingers crossed) also have some sort of small art/comics book to sell at this convention, unless i completely screw up things. and i might.

no news yet on the job i applied to.

fingers crossed

Tue Mar 13, 2007, 1:38 PM
  • Listening to: snoring
  • Reading: the engine
  • Drinking: pineapple juice
The fiance is on the couch being a sickie. He snored for hours last night--nothing I did could make him stop, so I spent today exhausted. This morning the clutch blew out on the car. It's in the shop now, using money we don't really have. And to add insult to injury, I got the hiccups.

So naturally, i chose today to apply to a new and possibly awesome job. Wish me luck--I think I must have used the last of this month's allotment yesterday.

i hate bully tactics

Thu Mar 1, 2007, 6:33 AM
  • Listening to: altai kai--"warrior's words"
  • Reading: the engine
  • Eating: red bean popsicles
  • Drinking: girly fruity beer…

so, i liked Suicide Girls. And then they turned bullshit corporate. The guys in the above link need help raising legal fees because SG has fired and is suing them for creating a personal site. When personal sites are supposed to be allowed. But hey, why follow your own rules when you can just drive people into the poorhouse with lawsuits instead? It's a brilliant strategy! Scares the rest of your photographers and girls in line so they don't get any silly ideas!

donate if you can, or buy something from them:…

god knows, they'll need the help.


Wed Jan 31, 2007, 11:19 AM
  • Listening to: nelly furtado
  • Reading: "making comics" by scott mccloud
  • Playing: legend of zelda: twilight princess
  • Eating: mango popsicles
  • Drinking: hot cocoa
i am particularly disgruntled with my job today, so i'm going to open myself to commissions.

the minimum price is $40, for my usual work of pencil and photoshop. fanart or originial characters are fine. i can also do realism, furry, and erotic. the more complicated the piece, the higher the price (obviously).

i don't want to have a backlog of waiting commisions however, so at most, i'll accept two jobs. one job, if it equals $80 or more. why? because $80 is the cost of missing a day of work.

if i find i LIKE doing these commissions, i'll make a habit of this.

the thing about my day job is that one of my bosses (unfortunately, the one that matters most) has taken issue with my drawing here. nevermind that a large part of my position here IS graphics, drawing is now something i can't even do on my lunchbreak.
this wouldn't be such an issue if this job kept me consistently busy, but it doesn't (and that's why my wages are just $10 an hour, instead of being salaried, why i don't have benefits, and why it doesn't matter to them if i decide to skip work).

i hate boredom. i hate that my drawing here isn't ok, but the secretary playing solitaire is. so, fuck it. commission me! i want to draw!

oh, uh, also. on the pleasant side of the universe: i just got engaged.

moo moo ha ha

Tue Jan 16, 2007, 8:56 AM
haven't made enough money with this prints account to justify it yet, or for deviantart to send me a check, but, there was enough to extend my subscription another three months.

that's fairly cheerful. if my prints account sustains me some ad-free DA, i guess it wasn't a total boner investment.

maybe i should more prints up.


dear jackasses who think the DA notes system exists so you can pimp your wares: screw off. i HATE ads. i hate getting them in my notes box, my email, my anything. i stopped listening to radio because of ads. i don't have cable (partially) because of ads (and partially because i'm tired of good programming getting cancelled in favor of cheap and shitty reality tv. seriously, the cable company wants money for the pleasure of rotting my brain? pfft.).

no more ads. if you send me an ad in my notebox, I WILL EAT YOU.

  • Listening to: my grumbling empty belly
  • Reading: 100 bullets
  • Watching: lain
  • Playing: legend of zelda: twilight princess
  • Eating: red-bean popcicles
  • Drinking: water

jingle bell swing

Fri Dec 22, 2006, 3:35 PM
so, just in time for christmas, one of my uncles has killed himself.

no need for condolences. i only met him once or twice myself. he was a vietnam vet. one of the ones that never got better. but the world is getting colder, and the suicide statistics go up every holiday season.

if you know someone having a hard time, lend a hand.

and for the love of god, people. if you meet someone on the sidewalk begging people for a cellphone, pipe the fuck up. i was walking home the other day, and came across a woman in need of a cellphone, and the crowd of folks waiting for the bus was just dead silent. so i offered her the use of mine, and ended up on the line with 911, waiting for an ambulance to come pick up an elderly dead man curled up on the bus bench.

the crowd didn't wake up until they realized there was something morbid to stare at. my favorite rubbernecker was the one loudly bemoaning the cruel state of world. why, oh why didn't anyone help this poor old man?

probably because he only looked asleep.

merry christmas everyone.

  • Listening to: off-key carollers
  • Reading: banya
  • Watching: "laputa"
  • Playing: legend of zelda: twilight princess
  • Eating: red-bean popcicles
  • Drinking: egg nog

dev-art meme

Tue Nov 28, 2006, 7:13 AM
1) What is your deviant-name and what does it mean?

megrar. i was given the nickname megra by an old friend (who's since committed suicide, so uh, yaa). however, "megra" was taken already by somebody who stopped posting before i ever showed up. at which point i went "yar! i am feirce! so, instead i'll be megRAR!"

2) Why did you join this site?

i was pushed by my old roommate, neogeen, who no longer uses deviantart (to my knowledge. we no longer talk).

3) What fandom were you obsessed with when you joined?

comics and anime. i'm still over the moon for comics, but my love for anime has waned with my tv habits. still love it, but no longer seek it out.

4) Were any of the fandoms you have currently brought about by this site?

nope. i have discovered way more about the fetishes of other people than i ever wanted to know, however.

5) Look into your stats. What is your:
- Most Favorited Deviation: Rabbitmoon, thanks to a daily deviation.
- Most Viewed Deviation: rabbitmoon.
- Most Commented Deviation: rabbitmoon.

6) How many watchers do you have at this moment?

785. You know, i used to think to myself, when i was shy and showed my work to no one, that art was worth doing if it pleased one other person. so obviously, my ego is thrilled.

7) First ever watcher?

Lanky Dan! and second is Ru-debega.

8) How many pageviews do you have at this moment?


9) What is your artist's title shown beneath your "status"?

angelina jolie fetishist. rrawr, baby.

10) What is your most "meaningful" work?

har har har. actually, probably… . And any given comic page. i've always wanted to tell stories. it's my favorite thing to do, so.

11) Best COMPLETED piece you ever did?

well, according to deviantart, it's:…
but that's not actually my favorite or even what i think i did best at technically.

12) Work that took the longest?

the more recent comic page spreads, hands down.

13) DA artist who has influenced you the most?

i don't know about influence. but there are a few artists i have as favorites. i don't favorite their work often enough, but i always really enjoy it when their art pops up in my box. killskerry, boum, klar, satougaki, cedarseed, coralsnake, uhh . . . oh hell. i have a few hundred people i watch, so i know i've forgotten a few names.

14a) What is currently the funnest thing to draw?

naked girls. honestly. they're soft and pretty. i hate having to cover up figures with clothes.

14b) Easiest thing to draw?

butts. butts butts butts butts butts.

15) Your first ever giftart was to:

i have no idea. probably either my mother or an elementary school classmate. it took me years to learn to say "no" to someone wanting art. i still have trouble with it, if i'm asked to my face.

16) How many clubs are you in?


17) How long have you been here?

three years.

18) Are you on any other art sites?

a few, but i get terrifically awol on them, sometimes only posting once every few months.

19) Can you remember the old DA layout?

which one? i remember a couple.

20) Are you still as passionate about art/poetry/prose as when you joined this site?

hell yes. i'm finally out of college, and living on my own. my apartment? buried in drawings. i'll have a comic to sell by the next anime mid-atlantic convention, and i'll be trying to whore my ass out to publishers shortly therafter.

after that, it'll only be a matter of time before the world is mine and angelina jolie consents to be my bride. screw brad pitt, girl, I'LL treat you right!

  • Listening to: "anticipate"--ani difranco
  • Reading: banya
  • Watching: "the thief and the cobbler"
  • Playing: ff9. AGAIN.
  • Eating: red-bean popcicles
  • Drinking: egg nog
it occurs to me that i haven't posted a journal since september.

i finished college well over a year ago. time since then has been completely fluid. weekdays are weekends are nights are morning are sunsets are sunrises are full moons are all many many days wrapped inside each 24-hour period. i only know what day it is, because i have a job i have to get up early in the morning for. when i fulfill my dream of doing nothing but art/illustrations/comics here at home, my remaining sense of time will abandon me completely.

regardless, i would swear in a court of law that my last post was only a few days ago. except that it's now november, and i am munching down hardcore on leftover halloween candy. i have all the remaining lollipops in the world, you see.

anyway. i have a rearranged to-do, that i can't remember the bulk of because it's late and i'm full of sugar. perhaps i'll edit this later.

  • Listening to: "spiel mit mir"--rammstein

they are tastier stolen

Fri Sep 8, 2006, 5:52 AM
so! i turned 23 over the weekend. yaaaaay. no, there was not cake. instead, there were stolen cupcakes, and my boyfriend bought me a bag of rice, and a pair of really cute bowls with puffer fish on them. i haven't used them yet. i need stuff to put ON the rice, like curry or something. seaweed.

moved into the new apartment two weeks ago, but everytime i get something settled, something else breaks. the realtor was wrong when he told me everything was electric; the hot water and heating is gas. and the hot water heater is apperantly on its last legs, which means i only have hot water every now and then. and, getting a gas account is costing me an extra $200 for security deposit, and $35 for set up.

i haven't been able to check my mailbox since i moved in, due to the realtor not even possessing a working key. they discovered this yuesday. god only knows when they'll change the locks. fortunately, i can pay all my bills online.

except my phone and internet is currently ALSO broken. i am posting from work.

on the bright side, my bank account is absorbing all the financial damage like a champ (i am a stingy saving type), and since it's just ME, nobody is leaving their nasty trash everywhere. my old roommate had literally buried our kitchen and living room in garbage. there were clouds of fruit flies. it was fucking disgusting.

i have half of the next comic page finished. and, an art journal, that hasn't been updated since before the move:

and now! back to work!

  • Listening to: "anticipate"--ani difranco