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About Deviant meahmaladeFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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Nothing left to say
Empty words
Fluttering scraps
The mind an emptied dance hall
Grasping for whispers
Lost in the silence
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 0 0
Mature content
Personship V. 2 :iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 1 2
Life on Mars
Well, today looked like a cheerful enough day. When Kora rolled out of bed, anyway. The canned air smelled slightly less like the supposed-to-be-sterile containers it came in, and the power was on. Always a good sign when one lived on Mars. Both of those things happening on the same day tended not to happen, like one was an apology for the other. Today, therefore, was looking up from yesterday's candles and gas masks.
It looked cheerful enough, until she turned on the telescreen for the daily climate report. The climate being entirely fabricated for the comfort of Mars residents, the telescreen report was a good way to let Kora know if it was, in fact, a day in which the climate was for her comfort or someone else's. Today's climate report sounded odd, though. Looked odd, anyway. The sound was delayed (by fifteen seconds, as usual).
"There's very little atmosphere today, folks. We seem to be having a malfunction in the climate regulation, and the Society for Martian Organized Governmen
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 0 1
Living Sin
Living Sin
Looks at him
and slips inside his mind
He cannot
STOP! to see
The wrong He may not find
Hurting Her
He wants Them
but no 1 can have 2
Darkness does
become Him
what He can't see to do
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 0 0
Mental Gravitation
Like the edge of a mindgasm
And one little breath
Will push you over the edge
Like knowing you can never
Breathe that good air again
And the bad isn't worth breathing
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 7 2
What She'll Say
Today she woke up
A little sick, a little down,
But nothing's really wrong,
At least that's what she'll say
If anyone bothers to ask.
They won't-
But she can always dream.
Dreaming's all she does
On days like these.
It's better than crying.
At least that's what she'll say
If she asks herself why.
Tomorrow will be better.
She'll wake up again
Against her better judgement,
That's what she'll say,
And shoot headfirst into
Mindless rocket fuel
Of hormones and chemicals
Inside her dying mind.
At least that's what she'll say
When they ask why she did it.
Today she woke up
Shaking and cold with fear,
Torn between tears and apathy.
And maybe she'll say
That tomorrow will be better
If she can just get up out of bed
Or find the motivation to move.
It will be better tomorrow.
At least that's what she'll say
When she wakes up the next day.
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 0 2
Lunatical Murk
Reality flows in and out-a ghostly
Mother peeking in at her feverish child
Through the walls of the dark nursery.
Dreams take over slowly, gaining
Power over the dreamer, who fears
The nightmare the truth has become.
Flights of fantasy grow longer
And landings are brief and terrifying-
Crashes down on life's trampoline runways.
Life itself is fleeting, fleeing
From the mind's own intoxicating
Drug-understated, unknown-unreal.
Tactile sensations tether breaths
Between gasps of bizarre visions
Choking loudly, louder than fact.
Darkness never comes, for light,
Albeit at the end of a tunnel,
Dances in the icy eyes of insanity.
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 9 7
You Just Lost...
The game was lost by all nearby.
Because of one not-so-nice guy:
He shouted it out
And without a doubt,
Everyone near wished he would die.
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 0 1
Mums and Garters
Silence dances among the sounds of bells.
Our voices do not carry as they would
If we were only honest with ourselves.
Silence is golden truly bound and good,
But the bells are silver and blue. They ring
Within our souls, reminding all of what
They mean. A gift from you to me and things
From me to you, these games played strangely—but
We play along every time that they say
It is again that time of year for bows
And laughter that means we know how to play
The game of lies and faking silly shows.
The candy means as much as words written
In paint: little more than to be bitten.
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 0 0
Nothing's Wrong
You know something's wrong
When your reflection makes you sick
So you can't even walk past a mirror.
It hurts when you smile, so you grin so wide
Just to feel like you've got nothin' to hide.
And I'm only happy when I hear your heart
Beating like it's always done
Cause I know while it's pumping
You'll be here still,
Holding me back from jumping.
Something's wrong?
No, nothing is wrong.
We're both just terrible liars.
I can't hide from you
My feelings—the truth
Pain isn't something worth healing.
And I'm only happy when I hear your heart
Beating like it's always done
Cause I know while it's pumping
You'll be here still,
Holding me back from jumping.
You hold me back from flying
But to tell you the truth,
I'm terrified of the air.
Falling is fun
But hitting the ground is something worse than dying.
And I'm only happy when I hear your heart
Beating like it's always done
Cause I know while it's pumping
You'll be here still,
Holding me back from jumping.
You know something's wrong
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 1 4
GSA Poster by meahmeah GSA Poster :iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 3 9
Two Men in Love
Two names that started cropping up well before I got there, and were commonplace when I met my friends. Kamenwati and Runihura. They were Egyptian. They spent a large portion of their time lurking on their myspace and sexing it up in the bathrooms. They were also entirely fabricated. Kamenwati was Carrie's baby, and Runihura belonged solely to Harriot. Well, he also belonged to Kamenwati, but that didn't count for much in my book.
I'm not sure why it was so much fun to create fake gay males and play around on myspace with them, or to taunt other people with them, but to our little group, it was more exciting than an action movie. Those two were just the beginning. They were the most real to us, almost like they were a part of our little clique all on their own.
They were superseded by a new character of Carrie's. His name was Alex. Just as gay as his predecessors, he was alone in that he was single (except when he was sleeping with one of the Egyptian lovelies). Rather than make him a
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 1 2
Closets are for Clothing
When I met her, my first impression of Carrie wasn't particularly phenomenal. She was just another hyper older girl, like so many others I knew. Except that she wasn't. There was just something about her that made her different.
The difference was that I could, and willingly did, spend hours at a time with Carrie, or talking to Carrie, or just thinking about Carrie. She was my favorite of all my friends, new or old, and I had no idea why that was. It wasn't that there was anything special about her. She was just special; she was different.
My whole being seemed to revolve around exactly what she said and when, what she wanted at any given moment. I was fascinated by what she ate for breakfast. Not that I let anyone know my mind was always wandering toward the quirky young woman (although she never acted older than twelve). Thus, all the people I knew assumed I was being my usual, airy, distractible self.
It took me weeks, months, to realize why I was so fixated on her. Even when I did
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 1 0
The Practice Room Cult
A routine slowly began to develop in my life. Go to school. Meet up with all my friends in the cafeteria before class starts. Head to class and text message them underneath the desk while, on occasion, glancing at the board to look like I cared about the wrong information my first period teacher was compelled to impart upon us. Second period was hanging out with Carrie and Grace and learning rather useless phrases in a language that was only spoken in one small country. Third period was returning to the first period routine. Fourth was, unfortunately, monopolized by a batty old woman forcing us to write pointless essays on the main character, a Mr. Ian Woon (and we had to call him that or risk getting ten points taken off), of a short story nobody else on Earth had ever heard of.
Fifth period. We lived for fifth period. When I finally managed to get there, I had fun. After the first day of class, we started actually playing instruments in orchestra, but it was fun because I got to shar
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 1 0
That First Day
The first day of high school is pretty much designed to be trauma, especially when you haven't met a soul in the place before hand. Karma seemed to enjoy messing with my head recently, when it decided that it should be my fate to go to a completely different school from nearly all of my friends. Perhaps it was more my decision to go to the magnet school for the nerdy kids, but honestly, who wants to blame themselves?
It was all moving fairly smoothly, considering. By smoothly, I mean nobody gave enough of a shit to  even notice me. Homeroom was reliably dull and paperwork filled, as any first-day homeroom ought to be. It was comfortably numbing, and I slept through the whole mess. Any kid worth his nuts had been through the whole mess nine times prior to that day, anyway.
After hours of sitting and twiddling thumbs, they actually let people go to first period. Quite a lovely first period, it turned out I had. The teacher was beige. Monochromatic must have been her middle name
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 0 10
No Idea
Say we're better than best,
But you're still spouting shit.
The idea of me is all you'll ever need.
What's the point of trying if I know you'll never see?
Say we're closer than close,
But you still have no idea.
You're too busy thinking you know best.
What's the point of thinking if you do all the rest?
Say you know me well,
But you've never seen me true.
Just talk about yourself until the end.
What's the point of talking if you've never listened?
Say we've got it all,
But we both know thats a lie.
You couldn't care any less for us.
What's the point of caring if what you say is bogus?
:iconmeahmeah:meahmeah 0 0

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United States
I. am me.

Current Residence: Where ever *you* aren't
deviantWEAR sizing preference: something that fits
Print preference: depends on the artwork =D
Favourite genre of music: whatever floats my boat
Favourite photographer: haddox
Favourite style of art: oh my god. it's a real question. pretty stuff =D
Operating System: 7/ubuntu/whatever else i feel like tacking on there ^^
MP3 player of choice: something that can fit all the music
Shell of choice: magic shell xD
Wallpaper of choice: wallpaper blows. paint kicks ass
Skin of choice: shinyshiny
Favourite cartoon character: TOKI WARTOOTH!!!!!!!!
Personal Quote: I joke about sex because it's funny when you're frightened

SHOP THERE! Custom cuffs and collars at

That has been my advertising PSA.
  • Listening to: Lostprophets
  • Reading: Heart of Darkness
  • Watching: The Wall, soonish.
  • Playing: sane
  • Eating: not the cupcakes i baked x.x
  • Drinking: water.

Journal History


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ice-or-fire Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2011
Happy early birthday!
Hope you have a good one!
Xxplastik-smilesxX Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2010
sorry to bother you
but can you maybe please read this?[link]
birthdays Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2010
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's November 11th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: @Caektiems
ice-or-fire Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2010
Happy early birthday!
Hope you have a good one!
crystaltsubasa Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2010
Thanks for the llama :)
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