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mbielaczyc's avatar

Aedric's Vision

This is a illustration for my Aedric story, which is part of an upcoming chapter. It is a dream he is having while going through his trial.

I am feeling it is close to being done, but feel it needs a critique.


edit - 5-29-09 - worked on the the shadows as well as blending the planets in a bit more (desaturated and darkened them)
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© 2009 - 2022 mbielaczyc
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misslucy's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

This is not the style I typically work in or a technique I'm that experienced with so keep that in mind with my critique. This seems a bit of a departure from your normal style, especially considering that it's about a dream. I look at a lot of your work (paintings) and see it as a dreamscape.

I'm a bit more drawn to the bottom half of the image. I like that the white swirly lines incorporate a bit of "you" into the image. I also like the glittery stardust in her hair effect you've got going on down there. The repitition draws the image together nicely.

The top half is a little more unfinished looking to me. The two planets on the right don't blend in as well as they could. I haven't been reading your story and so I'm not sure if they're essential but if they're not, I might suggest you repeat the swirly lines up there.

Overall, very nice image though!
mbielaczyc's avatar
thanks lucy!

this started out as one project and became another, hence the reason it is so different then my other work. it is also digital, since my studio is a mess an i haven't had a chance to grab a real paintbrush in months.
Delashael's avatar
Personaly i liked it more before the touch up, although not the planets. The planets look much better, before they didn't blend in well enough and kinda looked added on.

The darkness in the corners didn't bother me, After all it was meant to be a swirly dreamy vision. Those typicly come out of the depths of nothing, your soul, the subconcious, the id whatever.

I think the stories are good though, read them a while back. I find it cute how he's so totaly in love and doesn't realy relize it. She knows, you can tell. maybe once he's through his trial he can relize it. And of course she has to wait untill he's a member of the tribe.
mbielaczyc's avatar
thanks for the ideas, and glad you like the writing. i have one chapter finished and another started, i just need time (which i now have since faire is over). it was good seeing you in atl, see you at Dcon next?
Delashael's avatar
Aye Aye, I got an idea about that actualy. I'm always getting into something, eheh. I'll tell you about that in a note though.
misslucy's avatar
That's nice! The addition of the red, misty, lighty, space-dust stuff on the left is really nice as are the bubbles (though they're slightly off from the shade of red you're using throughout the rest of the piece).
mbielaczyc's avatar
thanks again lucy! yeah paul pushed for me to add the red dust and it worked great.
kyt5000's avatar
Maybe some work on the space between her upper lip and her nose; looks unusually smooth, no philtrum (yeah, I had to look it up) to speak of.
mbielaczyc's avatar
thanks for the critique., i went back and added some shadow and highlights to give a little more definition.
DewyneJefferson's avatar
I would lighten up the shadow work around her nose and under her bottom lip...soften it like the shadow work around her eyes.
mbielaczyc's avatar
worldsunknown's avatar
Not sure if these are intentional or not, but they are the only things that jump out at me:

1)- The brightest point in the picture is what looks to be a galactic core. However, the shine on the two planets is coming from a source well above that bright point.

2)- The bottom-right corner has a triangle of darkness rolling over the background, however the girl's hair (she seems to be behind the galaxy), overlaps that darkness in the bottom center.

Again, not sure if these are intentional or not, but figured it couldn't hurt to mention since you asked.

Lookin' good!
mbielaczyc's avatar
worked on the dark corner a bit and blended it with the hair.

they are actually moons, so the light is coming from the planets sun. the galaxy is not the light source for them, but good eye.

thanks for the critique!
PaleRonin's avatar
I'm too braindead to do an in-depth critique at the moment, but I think it looks wicked cool. I can't see anything off the top of my head that I would add/alter. Kudos.
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