TL;DR version: I sort of want to draw again so I moved to a new account tranquilix but I haven't posted anything yet and idk when I will
I don't know if anyone still bothers following this account or if anyone cares, but here's my 2 cents about what's been going on in my life. It's nothing bad or dramatic btw, if you're into that.
So I basically disappeared from this site for almost 3 years now. I just completely lost interest in drawing for these 3 years, not like I've been drawing at all while I was active on this account. All I did was take other peoples free linearts and colouring them in, and while that did help me learn a lot about colouring and shading, my overall drawing skill improved by only 0.1% probably lol.
However, lately I've been having a somewhat small interest in drawing again, but whenever I just sit down and draw something and it turns out to be very bad I just get discouraged as hell so I kind of stop continuing the drawing.
I do love drawing. I love the freedom it gives me, because at the end of the day, you can really draw anything. ANYTHING. I love expressing my thoughts and ideas through drawing, but when your drawing skills are lacking, and the idea you have in your mind looks nothing like what you ended up drawing, it disappoints you to no end, hence why I gave up on drawing years ago.
The reason why I moved to another account is because I want to leave all these embarrassing things I've drawn or said behind, because honestly, I started this account when I was only 12, so what did I even expect from myself lol. Also I've been constantly lying about my age and I can't even explain how bad I feel for that, but I've lost contact with everyone I ever talked to on here anyways so who cares anymore (if you're curious about my rl age, I'm born on 9th august 1998, so I'm going to be 19 soon) But because of my (strong) attachment to these shitty drawings I couldn't bring myself to delete them or this account, and I also don't want to clog up my laptop with useless drawings, so I'm leaving them here lol. Maybe one day I'll come back here and laugh at what a little idiot I was when I was 12-13.
I've also taken an interest in photography, I mean, I've always had it tbh but I never had tools for it. I don't have them now either lol but at least phone cameras nowadays are more evolved than the ones 3-4 years ago, even tho they still can't be compared to an actual camera, but I can't afford it and neither is it really something worth investing in, not for me at least. But last summer I've taken some fancy pictures in the Danube Delta, maybe I'll post them on my new acc.
Anyways, if anyone cares what I've been up to these past 3 years in my personal life:
I got into a high school, it's a pretty shitty one, but hey! It's a high school. Also I'm currently debating on what university to go to and what to study further, and I have a hella lot to study for my upcoming exams in June and yet here I am coming back to deviant art.
I've also moved back to the city from the country side, and last year I got two pets: a cat and a dog. Also a few months ago a friend (who knows nothing about fish) bought me a Betta fish that I have to keep in a bowl, even tho I know it's not good to keep them in bowls, but I simply cannot afford a new fish tank (I already have one with other fish) and nor do I have space for it :/. So the bowl was my only good option, the other two (bad) options would be to throw the fish away or leave him in the fish tank with the other fish and let the other fish bite his tail and fins until he dies. Yeah I'm not into seeing that at all.
Also since last year I've started growing succulents! They are so cute, but I'm very bad at taking care of them tbh, some of them even ended up dying also they are very hard to find in my city, I've only seen actual succulents and cacti at the yearly flower exposition and sale (which obviously happens once a year), and I've seen (and bought) some shady looking succulent sort of plants from a supermarket too.
Anyways, if anyone bothered to read the whole thing: thanks! You make it feel as if you care about me lol because tbh I hate being ignored and yet it happens a lot sadly, but I gotta get over it because complaining never fixes anything, not for me at least.