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A whole new spin on the term 'CN Real' by Maxtaro A whole new spin on the term 'CN Real' by Maxtaro
I'm not usually one to draw random cartoon characters expressing negative opinions, but I had to choose one from the era when Cartoon Network knew how to be entertaining that would probably feel HORRIFIED at the current state of her birthplace.

To be fair, this could be the show we all deserve right now if it didn't have its entertainment value sullied by not just its fans betraying its lessons of love so much so that a storyboard artist sabotaged her Twitter profile and plastering its memey faces everywhere to the point where it dominates your everyday internet life, but an endless, unapologetic stream of forced tears, a jarring abundance of Japanophile pandering and social representation taken to the most Tumblr-eqsue high imaginable in one single character design. I'm all for Japanese culture and diversity, but some things should remain separated, like the average Tumblrite and the studio that brought you Chowder, which this current management canceled just to make way for this new direction.

Since this show first began, Cartoon Network Studios has gradually become a beanie-cap circlejerk of twerking bears and corgis that is further convincing its audience that cartoons are made for the sole purpose of making you think and/or weep, while fare more akin to the earlier days of the studio's creative force is shunned upon for being too silly. But when the crew does try to be funny, it's like if "omelette du fromage" was no accident but an excuse to make it big in a meme convention, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS IN AN EPISODE OF WE BARE BEARS. Steven Universe and the Powerpuff reboot are the Platonic ideals of a modern-day CN show. Yes, I just made that comparison.

I understand the creators' approaches, whether it be revolving around their life as an LGBTQ or a minority, and a few of their shows are still rather good including the closest to a cartoon they've ever produced (hint: it's the weird one), but would it really hurt to ask for just a little bit of subtlety? Or even energy? Or diversity not just in human culture but in style and creativity as well? Animation can be wacky, or it can be dramatic and immersive. I wouldn't mind a little realism on Cartoon Network but to spread it out to your whole creative roster while confusing subtlety for memes galore? #NotMyChildhood.

Even Disney understands this; they have a female-driven cartoon named Star that embraces feminism and modern culture without being heavy-handed and, unlike CN's output, manages to be quirky and effectively dramatic, as well as animated and stylised beyond zombie-tier. If you enjoy these zombie shows, that's fine, just understand that there's more to the world of animation than magical girls doing romantic dances with their own parents. The more I became exposed to this stupid face, the more I came to realise that the worries that impended since Jail Break were all real. And people say the network's commitment to Teen Titans Go is the issue here. If you're in any way new to this whole Steven business, then trust me, it ain't worth believing in Steven.

Steven, Peridot and Amethyst belong to Rebecca Sugar
Mandy belongs to Maxwell Atoms
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December 1, 2016
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