literature

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Deviation Actions

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Literature Text

7-7-21

This building is brand new

it can’t be haunted. You’re

just lost — yes I agree you

are quite scary and truly

horrible but that's okay at

least you are conscientious

enough to ask if I'm afraid

and I guess, yes, as long as

you behave you can stay -

I dunno - I was bored and stuck and someone wanted to see "frustrated notes" so I opened this up and finished finished it while on the phone

so, what have you got lying around unfinished?
© 2021 maxnort
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alapip's avatar

I'd call this maybe a vignette?

{but not being sure what that even is]

Anyway, Max, I like it. :) pip

maxnort's avatar

it's a little smaller than a vignette. it's a "prose poem". I have deconstructed the language like I enjoy (mainly just the enjambment, more later maybe), but the tone of voice is not so stilted. the subject is subjective at best; a ghost/ haunting? I think we know the ghost came with the speaker without me saying it; but it is still a story

DC-26's avatar

I like this story-poem.

What does one call this? Free indirect speech (of a sort)... whatever it's called, I think you've used it perfectly here.

maxnort's avatar

it's called stream of conscious, but the application in a conversation this way is not normally done. Usually it's first person to 2nd person. this is first to 3rd person. I thought the 3rd party should be a ghost, since otherwise, the conversation could never be known