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MattRhodesArt's avatar

We are NOT taking the wizard

re-uploaded by request. I adjusted the colors a bit, as the original was dark to a fault.

The old description:

"Sitting around a camp fire, my friends and I talked about wizards. Wizards, if they were real, would be the worst people. Dabbling in all sorts of grim abominations for dubious ends. They'd be the last people you'd ever hire for a quest, and then only in utter desperation."

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© 2016 - 2021 MattRhodesArt
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menapia's avatar

I could easily imagine the mayhem caused by a wizard, I mean imagine some Friday night a mage toddles off down the Pub and after 5 Jagermiesters, 3 whiskeys, 6 pints of guinness beer and a trip to the curry house........ooh:cries:

Sagetower's avatar

I cannot express how much I appreciate this image, it's just so good.

I know the last time this picture was talked about was 4 years ago, but his seat is a frigging GIANT SPIDER! @.@

Magic's one hell of a drug.

Oh god. I never realised those were dicks on his hat until now.

Man, I wish I had the context on this dude.


Honestly I figure this is what a powergamer looks like in-universe. Everything's done to maximize plusses, and anything that doesn't is irrelevant.


Wonder what kind of boost he's getting from the penguin/puffin boots?

Prowess's avatar

Is his tankard a demi-lich's skull? :O Like the little details like penguin boots, or spiders crawling out of his (component?) pouch.

TheDemonskunk's avatar

This picture is absolutely magical, and I love every part of it.

every time I look at it, I find a new little detail that makes the wizard that much more magically horrifying.

"Good thing is he works for free and costs us no money.

Bad thing is we get what we paid for and since we don't pay him we essentially can't fire him."
TRVartwork's avatar
Wizard puking rainbows
SCOm1359AP's avatar
In the D&D Game I'm running, one of my players based their entire character off this picture.  He traipses through the city wearing not but a loincloth and a pointy hat.  In combat, he throws his Octopus at people.  He has a magical mug that makes anything he drinks from it alcoholic, and he claims to have only learned magic because he heard of a spell called "Unseen Servant" that would let him get out of doing housework.  Also, his choice of footwear is made all the more curious by the fact that Penguins do not have an entry in the Monster Manual.
dsivis's avatar
Honestly, this wizard brings up more questions than answers. Penguin boots? Octopus pouch? Glowing barf? And most important, why is he naked?
tomgarcia's avatar
He's wearing a hat, c'mon ._.
ollyollyoxenfree9's avatar
The more I look at it the better it gets.  THE PENGUINS OH GOD THE PENGUINS.
this just gets better the more you look
LunaJMS's avatar
HAHAHA! GLORIOUS! XD
Ruember's avatar
HILARIOUS.
THIS is how wizards should be done. 10/10
Steampunkboy171's avatar
I love it and is the wizard wearing pengiun shoes?
axleonex's avatar
"But who else could heal our party?"

"He is vomiting glowing blood after eating a baby chipmunk, I refuse to let him heal me!"

Mage: "to be fair, the chipmunk barely even helped my spell. I don't think I even had to eat it."

Warrior in photo: @_@
leebk201's avatar
What the hell, lol. Seems like somekind of a wild mage and a nutso too.
s13g3's avatar
This fits perfectly with the descriptions of wizards in the Dungeon Crawl Classics (DCC) RPG system. Incredibly lovely work all around!
it's true gets weirder with each look the awesome kind of weird  
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