It’s that time of the year again. The day of love...because you can’t show love on any other day apparently.
Either way instead of actually going out, we like to sit inside playing video games.
And as it’s Valentines, might as well throw in a list of the top ten girls in games. First off, the rules: This is entirely subjective. Just because your “best girl” or “waifu” isn’t on here, that doesn’t mean they suck, it just means I don’t prefer them over others on this list. My opinion is not more important or meaningful than yours.
Not to forget, NPC or Playable, only one per Franchise.
And most importantly, this list is based off personality and motives. Which means we won’t be focusing on certain “features” of our picks. Plus, I’m legally not allowed to or else.
Fortunately for me who makes a ton of OCs, female qualities is my basic major so let’s get it started!
10:
So....remember when I said that “features” aren’t something we’re focusing on? This is a big reason as to why. This girl is very unique compared to the others.
Yup, this girl is literally made up of lines..
And though any princess or teenage girl could’ve made this spot...everyone must always bow down to their queen.
Strange choice? Obscure? “Where are the butts and boobs?” I hear some say. Well, she doesn’t need any of that crap. Vibri’s...well...a strange case.
She’s an adorable rabbit! She’s no Judy Hopps, but she’s definitely interesting.
No matter what, Vibri’s always cheerful, even after a game over. What does she do? What ever other polygonal hero does. Jump gaps.
Roll over spikes, turn into a frog, worm, the freaking queen! Vibri does all of this while singing her heart out. And we are not gonna forget how Vibri congratulate you at the end of her songs.
Only reason she’s at number ten is lack of a backstory and motivation. Also...turning into a frog and a warm...doesn’t scream the ideal girlfriend.
Excuse me, I’m just glad we get to show her because as a game, she’s pretty much Parappa the Rappa’s Sister.
9:
Not every girl in games is a giggle girl, damsel in distress, or both *cough*Peach*cough* There’s obviously going to be some badass woman in games. Some can try too hard, while some, like Lara Croft, are great.
But it’s not Lara, it’s just someone so much better!
Sometimes, the most badass women aren’t found on Earth, but rather, in space.
Goddamn, you have no idea how much I wanna sing Regretroid right now!
Samus Aran has a, somewhat overly tragic, backstory. Having her family killed, almost being killed herself, etc. But hey, I guess being raised by bird people makes up for it.
You mean the Chozo?
Yes, I’m aware of their names. What makes Samus great, though, is how hardened she’s become since that day. Wearing a suit of armor that confuses people on her gender, Samus is one of the best bounty hunters not in just games, but in fiction in general. She has tons of weapons that just blow everything up, multiple suit upgrades and variations, and great adaptability.
Not to forget she’s a Smash Veteran. Though she is awesome, Metroid Prime 4 being delayed poured so much salt on my head....so she’s 9...
Also, just don’t let her talk. Just don’t.
There comes a point where “Baby” makes you automatically grown...
8:
When it comes to video games, dating sims are something I rarely play, unless there’s specifically something I’m drawn to, or it’s a recommendation from a close friend. If it’s very inappropriate, I’m out. And that’s the case more often than not.
You did put up the electronic protection so she won’t break in right?
I think so. In any case, how did that saying go? Don’t judge a book by its cover?
Hello Doki Doki my not friend. Back to torture my heart and soul again?
Ah, Monika, or what I’ve always called her, Flowey but a weeb.
Monika’s a scary girl with how much power she has. It may be limited to a computer, yes, but that can be very dangerous still.
Monika is able to manipulate your computer in such ways like knowing what type of computer you have and even your real name.
She even can delete other characters, manipulate code, and even survived her own deletion. So she sounds evil, but why is she on here? She didn’t hack into my computer....to my knowledge.
Yeah, maybe you do need my expertise. *holds up my cannon*
There is a reason she’s here. And that’s...I understand why she did what she did. Because she wasn’t a choice between the 3 girls. She’s a character that is aware of what she is, and she’s only meant to be a side character, someone you can’t choose to interact with.
Nonetheless, she basically killed two girls, and locked you into her own little world not letting you leave.
Well, you could leave at any time. But that’s besides the point. What she did, she did with good reason. Anyone would’ve done the same. Even Sayori, Who is considered the sweetest girl in that game, became corrupted when she became self aware. However, it’s that same corruption that stops Monika from getting any higher.
7:
Hey remember what I said in the Champions Battle Royale?
No...?
Oh well, Nintendo has a thing. A thing for dark skinned ladies.
Oh yes. And not only is this one of them, this one plays music, and oh boy, it’s some kickass music.
The teal and adorkable Octoling we’re talking about it Marina, one part of the duo Off the Hook in Splatoon 2.
Once an Octoling working for DJ Octavio as an engineer, Marina and many other Octarians heard the Squid Sisters hit remix, the Calamari Inktation. And in her own words, it changed everything.
And with her partner Pearl, they became the superstars after the Squid Sisters parted ways and...they admittedly have better music.
She even uses her engineering skills for turf war arenas. However, she kept her history a mystery to pretty much everyone, even Pearl, her closest friend.
But even then, Pearl won’t hesitate to Cut a Fish if anyone even thinks of harming her best friend.
Now why did we choose Marina over Pearl in the first place? Well, even though Marina can’t power a Killer Wail with her voice, she has a more interesting backstory, and a better character design SORRYNOTSORRY!
EXCUSE ME, SHE ALSO BREAKS FAIRNESS IN SPLATFEST!
I...guess it’s that bias (and Miss Pop’s salt) that keeps her from getting higher...but oh well.
I BETTER WIN THIS MONTH’S SPLATFEST!
6:
Witches are often represented in a bad light, especially in media. We have the Wicked Witch to mostly blame for that.
And probably literally every witch character has something that makes them overly sexualized. Looking at you Bayonetta.
But there’s one that breaks both stereotypes. Riddle me this; who’s the girl next door living in the haunted mansion?
You better know her name because it’s Ashley!
Living with her demon buddy, Red, Ashley’s main goal, as she would have you believe, is to end her title of “witch-in-training” and become a full on witch. But let’s be honest with ourselves, she just wants some friends.
And she’d have friends, if she didn’t threaten to turn them into cooking utensils or making their pants fall off.
Honestly, you can learn a lot about Ashley by just her song alone, which has no right to be as catchy as it is.
She’s also the total opposite from all the other girls in the Wario Ware franchise which is why we chose her over the others.
Ashley is shy and is often looked at by others as anti-social, but deep down, she enjoys being involved in fun activities with friends. Only problem is her short temper. Sure, she gains an immense power boost, but it makes her scary to be around.
She also summons more creepy oddities than Ridley, and can travel in a book.
Regardless of her flaws, she will forever be the coolest girl you’ll ever meet.
5:
You know, after seeing the Carmen Sandeigo Netflix series (and unfortunately she isn’t on the list), I was reminded of another master thief, except he was blue, and a furry.
This Sly guy does like to play games, even at work. His favorite? Cops and robbers. And our number 5 is his number 1.
Carmelita Montoya Fox might have the features of a best girl but she’s far more fierce and aggressive for someone who has been hunting down a Raccoon for several years.
But not even this top cop could resist Sly’s handsomeness.
Goddammit Mastersword, you make it sound like I’m typing this down when I was 11 and had a crush on Sly. You are right though, the banter between the two is like a high class bottle of wine along with Sly’s flirting. It’s perfect.
The reason for her going after Sly in the first place isn’t because he’s a typical thief, but rather because he easily escaped the...janitor’s closest when she first arrested him. Thus, embarrassing her in front of her boss. Since then, she’s tried her absolute best to bring him in...while still having a crush on him.
Though throughput the first game, Sly actually helped Carmelita arrest notorious criminals. Not to forget she even went back in time being a pretty important temporary teammate for Sly after they had a short falling out.
“Short” is an understatement. But yeah, despite her crush for Sly, Carmelita is a cop for a reason. Even when she fails to catch Sly, she usually ends up catching other criminals instead.
Not to forget she’s armed with a Acme Produced Zap gun, she had a jet pack, and her keen detective skills are pretty helpful. Though she probably should report what newspaper usually call her though...
And that’s...?
*ahem* “Hot Latin Spitfire.”
...Alright, moving on.
4:
Okay so after Krystal from Star Fox but better than Krystal, we got another awesome cop!
With killer legs that let her defy gravity in any shape or form, too.
And unlike a certain Rapping Thot, she’s actually my favorite fighting character of all time!
