Idiotic Episodes 198

THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE (2023)

Hello everyone, and let's-a go conclude my very final...

So with 1993's Super Mario Bros. movie being both a critical and financial disaster, Nintendo was understandably pretty wary of bringing their games to the silver screen again. As such, when they were pitched the idea of a new Mario movie by Universal Studios while working on Super Nintendo Land (going there is on my personal bucket list BTW), they wanted much more involvement this time, with Shigeru Miyamoto himself giving his personal touch on the project.

The animation company they worked with was Illumination, known for the Despicable Me franchise and... some rather subpar Dr. Seuss movies.

And it was to be directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic, known for creating... Teen Titans Go.

But Nintendo helped hype the film up by announcing it's cast... which mostly consisted of celebrities like Chris Pratt and Jack Black, and ended up being a laughing stock among YouTubers.

Yeah, as you can imagine, this movie had a lot to prove. Sure it made a ton of money at the box office, but that's not necessarily a great metric for a film's quality. So did we end up getting a good movie despite the project basically starting on Extra-Hard mode? Well start up your engines and keep an eye out for banana peels, for it's time to jump on into 2023's The Super Mario Bros. Movie.

We open on this castle made of ice (must be Queen Elsa's summer home), which suddenly gets some unfriendly visitors.

"Kamek: Behold, the King of the Koopas!"

And he comes out, with a big wall of fire right behind him. Gotta hand it to Bowser, the guy knows how to make an entrance.

But the inhabitants of this land are ready to defend their kingdom by...

...throwing snowballs. Yeah, this works about as well as you'd expect.

"Penguin King: That is but a taste of our fury! Do you yield?"

Aw, look at the over-confident penguin, who'd want to take him over?

But Bowser doesn't feel the same way, as he causes massive damage to the castle with his Godzilla-esque fire breath. So what is it he's really after?

"Bowser: I've finally found it! And now NO-ONE CAN STOP ME!"

Yeah, I felt the same way when I finally beat "The Perfect Run."

So I was already enjoying this intro, but you know what moment really clinched it for me, that made me know I was going to love this movie? Well, it was this.

"singers: We're the Mario Bros, and plumbing's our game,

We're not like the others who get all the fame!

If your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double,

We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers!"

Yes, this movie introduces its titular characters by playing a new version of the theme from The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. This instantly put a smile on my face, and brought me right back to being a kid looking through TV listings for reruns of any of Mario's cartoons. Honestly, I'd never expect a movie with Nintendo's direct involvement to feature songs from their TV shows, considering how stingy they can be with rights issues, even when it comes to DVD releases.

So that theme song was actually a commercial for Mario and Luigi's new plumbing service, which they left their old jobs to start. Mario, voiced by Chris Pratt, shows a lot of enthusiasm for this to his brother Luigi, voiced by Charlie Day.

"Mario: I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial!

Luigi: That is not a commercial, that is cinema!"

So I know the song was written by Haim Saban and Shuki Levy (yes, the creators of Power Rangers), but who wrote it in-universe? Luigi, maybe?

Eh, let's just be glad they didn't go with that other song he wrote.

Charlie: Just two men sharing the night,

It might seem wrong, but it's just right!

Definitely gonna get reported if I show more of that, so let's move on...

"Mario: What about the accents? Is it too much?

Guiseppe: Too much? It's-a perfect! Wahoo!"

Okay, I know that's Charles Martinet doing that guy's voice, and that is a pretty neat cameo, but I'm a bit more distracted by his name. Like, are we sure that isn't a Dorkly reference?

But that isn't the only reference in this building, as we also see Mario and Luigi's old boss, Foreman Spike. (no relation to Koopa's minion from last time) He's from a game on NES called Wrecking Crew, one that rarely gets re-released for some reason. I have to say, that's impressive when I of all people have to look on the Mario Wiki to know who this guy is.

"Spike: Tell me, have you even gotten ONE call since you left me to start your dumb company?

Luigi: Uh, yeah. Our Mom called, and she said 'Oh boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen!' And I said 'Thank you very much mother, we're very proud of it.' so BOOM!"

Luigi... this is why you're player 2.

Of course Spike has a good laugh at Luigi's expense, which Mario doesn't take lying down, leading to an argument. Spike drops Mario before things can get too ugly, and just leaves him with an insult on what a joke he is. Honestly, I really like how protective Mario is of Luigi. We'll be seeing more of this as the film plays out, but I thought this was a good moment to show off his character, which let's face it, the games don't really give him much...

But surprisingly they actually do get a call to fix a broken sink, and the brothers are on their way...

...running through a recreation of World 1-1 from Super Mario Bros. while "No Sleep 'til Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys plays. Yeah, there's gonna be quite a few pop songs playing through this movie, FYI. You'd almost think Mario was played by Starlord or something...

They make it to their first job, and are able to fix the sink right away. Well, that seemed too easy, I think we know what this calls for.

Farva: You mean Shenanigans?

We get this rather amusing scene where they're attacked by this dog, which makes them break the sink and cause a ton of damage due to backed-up pipes. Man, if one argument with a dog can do all this, I think you may have more problems than Mario can fix. Also, I do not envy whoever has to pay these repair bills...

Well as if that wasn't enough of a bad day, Mario and Luigi also have to deal with a family dinner, many of whom poke fun at them for their commercial. I also really like that Mario's part of a big family, it helps to inform his desire to stand out, and they all clearly are characters in their own right.

It also helps that they're not just the same actors as Mario and Luigi but with facial hair covered in make-up a'la Ceasar Romero...

Mario's father, also voiced by Charles Martinet, gives his own thoughts on Mario's life choices.

"Papa Mario: I think you're nuts. You don't leave a steady job for some crazy dream. And the worst part? You're bringing your brother down with you."

You know, he's not wrong to think this. Leaving a job to start your own business is always going to be a risky move, even if it goes well. Hell, we saw in the last movie how Mario and Luigi were struggling financially, so it's not without precedent. Sometimes you just gotta hear the harsh truth, you know?

Mario, naturally depressed after such a rough day, relieves his stress the best way most of us know...

...sitting on his bed playing video games. Well, I didn't expect that to be something this has in common with the first movie.

Actually, if you put them side-by-side, it kind of looks like they can see each other through their TV screens. Maybe this is how they'd begin a Spiderverse-esque crossover story...

Also, you gotta love the subtlety of the words 'I'm Finished!' over Mario's face. And yes, he was playing Kid Icarus. Can that get a movie sometime, or at least a new game? It's been almost 14 years...

Luigi comes in to cheer his brother up.

"Luigi: You're not bringin' me down. You know what, what do they know, huh?

Mario: It's not just them. Our whole lives everyone's tellin' us we can't do this, we can't do that. I'm just sick and tired of feelin' so small."

I think they make pills for that, right?

But Mario sees on the News that Brooklyn's got a flooding problem, which gives him a notion to use his plumbing skills to save the neighborhood. Also, Pauline cameo. Yeah, this movie has quite a few cameos if you look for them.

The pizza place had pictures of characters from Punch-Out, there was an Arwing model in Mario's room, even the News segment has a blink-and-you'll-miss-it mention of the solar system where most of the Metroid games take place. This movie's like a Where's Waldo? for Nintendo references.

Mario and Luigi enter Brooklyn's sewers to fix the flooding, soon reaching this pressure valve... and then the pipe they're on breaks, causing them to crash through a nearby wall. Man, Mario just cannot catch a break today.

They find an unknown deeper section of New York's infrastructure (must be the Van Horn Station), where they discover a strange green pipe that suddenly sucks them in.

"Mario: It's all gonna be okay!

Luigi: How is this gonna be okay!?

Mario: I'm tellin' you, nothing can hurt us as long as we're together!"

And... then they get separated.

Pinkie Pie: *plays wah-wah music on trombone*

Mario exits a similar-looking pipe, and finds himself in a whole new world, where he meets an interesting character.

"Toad: DO NOT TOUCH THAT MUSHROOM, YOU'LL DIE! Oh, I'm sorry, that one's perfectly fine.

Mario: Ah, it's a little mushroom man, a little mushroom man talking to me..."

Mario: This is what I get for experimenting with those shrooms...

Damn it, how is this the third time this month I've made that joke?

Mario explains his situation, and Toad, voiced by Keegan Michael Key, has some bad news for him.

"Mario: See, last time I saw him, he was falling through a pipe, it was foggy and, and I believe there was lava...

Toad: Uh, that is not good. Um, your brother... had landed in the Dark Lands. They're under... Bowser's control.

Mario: Bowser?

Toad: He's the most evil, wretched creature alive!"

There's a joke about Nintendo of America's former CEO in here somewhere...

But while Mario gets to travel with half of Key & Peele, Luigi is not so lucky.

"Luigi: Mario? Mario? Where are you?"

Luigi: Mario? Mario!

Boy, that capture button on my Switch 2 really made a difference, didn't it?

Luigi's bad times continue as he's chased by all the Dark Lands have to offer. Bats, skeletons, lava, until he's finally caught by a big group of Shy Guys. This is what happens when the guys making the haunted house take their jobs too seriously...

As if to juxtapose all that, we cut to Mario being led through the Mushroom Kingdom, taking in all the unusual sights. (and of course giving more details for eagle-eyed fans to write about online) Toad takes Mario to the castle, figuring that the Princess can help him out, but first they have to deal with the palace guards.

"Mario: Oh hey, I need to see the Princess. It's an emergency.

guard 1: ...What Princess?

guard 2: I never heard of any Princess.

guard 1: Oh wait, I did. Our Princess though is in another castle."

Korone: No funny, no mushroom. Please Peach.

Toad expected some resistance, so he has a backup plan...

...distract the guards with some recipes from Breath of the Wild. I'd go for the Monster Cake myself.

In the castle, we see a Toad Council worried about Bowser's imminent invasion. But their leader Princess Peach, voiced by Anya Taylor Joy, has a plan.

"Peach: I'm going to convince the great Kong army to help us. Together, we'll annihilate that monster!"

That is a pretty good idea, Donkey Kong is usually in the same weight class as Bowser...

Peach leaves to get ready for her trip, but soon runs into Mario... whom she quickly throws on his back.

Eh, still better than when he met Big Bertha.

"Peach: He's a human! I mean, you are a human right? I mean, it's just you're so small...

Mario: Hey!"

Something you never wanna hear from the girl you just met...

Mario explains his situation to Peach, saying he'll do whatever is necessary despite her pointing out his shortness. Peach, admiring his courage, decides to test Mario's skills by way of a giant Super Mario Maker course.

"Peach: If you can finish this, you're coming with me."

Mario: Wow, who designed this?

Peach: I believe his name was Ross O'Donovan?

Mario: Oh shit...

Peach shows off her own skills by getting through the course, doing all these advanced moves like sliding and wall-jumping, making it to the end with ease. I've heard some people criticize this aspect of the movie, saying that Peach is just the 'girl-boss' to make the wokes happy (I barely even know what that shit means anymore), but think about it: playing as Peach is awesome.

Seriously, any game where you get to play as her, she is always the most fun to use. Admittedly part of that may be her floating, which is very useful for getting out of tight spots, but we all still enjoy it. I'm glad some studio has finally realized Peach is more than just the victim Mario needs to rescue.

Naturally Mario is intimidated by how well Peach did, but she has a little something to help give Mario an edge.

"Mario: Ugh, really?"

Mario: You didn't have any Tanuki Suits lying around?

Seriously though, this movie has Mario hate the taste of mushrooms, which we saw in that dinner scene earlier. This was definitely a weird choice, that'd be like if in a Christmas movie Santa didn't like cookies. Though having Mario be played by Chris Pratt was also an odd choice, so maybe they just wanted to double-down on it.

Peach makes Mario eat the mushroom against his will (giggity), which of course makes him grow taller and stronger. Okay, I actually like that small Mario is his natural height, it feels like nobody can decide that, not even Nintendo. New Super Mario Bros. had Mario get shrunk during the opening, which suggests either he's short and has to take mushrooms to feel normal, or he's tall and Bowser's minions keep crushing him like an empty soda can. Either way, I kind of feel sorry for Mario. Hope all those coins he collects can pay his therapy bills...

We get a montage of Mario trying all through the night to run the course, but he keeps getting hurt and losing his powers, all while Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero" plays. Yeah, I admit it, I also think of Shrek 2 when I hear that song. I'm not the first critic to say that, and I don't think I'll be the last...

"Peach: Well, we have a long journey ahead of us, mustache.

Mario: How many tries did it take you?

Peach: Oh, so many. I was not good at it. Worse than you.

Mario: ...You got it right away, didn't you?"

Peach: Well yeah, but to be fair, I was using a Game Genie.

We cut over to Bowser's Castle, where we see his minions throwing a rave. There, Bowser, voiced by Jack Black, makes his minion roll call.

"Bowser: My army: Koopas! Goombas! Whatever those things are!"

Well, they're called Spinies, or Paipos if you live in Japan, as they and Lakitu AKA Jugemu are a reference to a Japanese folk talk about a kid with a really long name and-

Peter Griffin: Oh my God, who the hell cares!?

...Hmph, didn't have to be a dick about it...

Anyway, Bowser announces his plan to take over the world and make Peach his wife. One minion asks a pretty valid question.

"Koopa Troopa: What if she says no?"

And he literally gets roasted for that. I love the look the guy next to him gives, saying 'What'd you think was gonna happen, idiot?' Also, glad to know The Origami King's stupid revelation about Dry Bones NOT being undead Koopa skeletons didn't stick...

Back over to Peach, she and Mario head out to their adventure, with some of her Toad subjects asking about the random Italian dude she's palling around with. I'm guessing this is gonna be like The Lego Movie where she makes up some bullshit prophecy, right?

"Peach: ...He's not important!

*crowd cheers*"

Alright, that was pretty funny.

They meet up with Toad, who decides to join them on their adventure, and Peach, apparently not having any kind of escort besides the overweight plumber, agrees. We get this nice little montage of the various locales across which they travel, such as the Sand Kingdom from Super Mario Odyssey, Yoshi's Island from Super Mario World, and one of those bridge levels from Super Mario Bros. where the fish keep jumping out at you.

Korone: *gasp* Oh, nooo, flying fish.

But that Mushroom Kingdom travel brochure pales in comparison to this next scene, where Bowser performs what is perhaps the most memorable part of this movie.

"Bowser: Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches Peaches,

Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches Peaches,

I, LOOOVE, YOOOU!"

Yeah, like many of you, I love this scene too. Jack Black singing a love ballad is just as hilarious as you'd think it would be with his over-the-top style blending into it. It's like how his character from School of Rock would declare his love for someone. Again, this movie makes so many odd choices, and just makes them all work surprisingly well, with this scene being a perfect example of that. Who'd ever think that a kids' movie from the makers of Despicable Me would give us such a great earworm?

Back over to Mario's group, he points out that Peach doesn't seem like she's from the Mushroom Kingdom, which causes her to flash back to her childhood where she was raised by the Toads until becoming their leader. This is interesting to me, as Peach's backstory has rarely, if ever, been addressed in any Mario media, even the RPGs. Plus I like the idea that she had to earn her Princesshood, rather than being born into it. (which just raises the question of who her parents are) Kudos to these writers for finally trying to give some actual meat to this character.

But word of Peach travelling with some new guy reaches Bowser, which of course makes him pretty jealous. (man, Bowser's Incel arc goes hard) Luckily he's got a prisoner he can interrogate.

"Bowser: There's a human traveling with my fiance, has a mustache just like you. Do you know him?

Luigi: Do you think I know every human being with a mustache wearing an identical outfit with a hat with the letter of his first name on it? Because I don't."

Honestly, could anyone but Charlie Day have pulled that line off? It's just that perfect mixture of fear and stupidity with just a hint of false confidence.

Bowser is unable to get anything out of Luigi other than Mario's name, so he throws the plumber into his dungeon. Yeah, despite the movie's name, we don't really see the Mario Bros. together all that much. Luigi spends a good chunk of the runtime away from Mario in this cage, essentially filling the role Peach usually has in the games. Kind of lame, especially if you were hoping to get more of Charlie Day in this movie...

But I can forgive that, for we soon see what may be the funniest thing in this movie.

"Lumalee: There is no escape. The only hope is the sweet release of death."

That's Michael Jelenic's daughter Juliet voicing Lumalee, and it is just so hilarious hearing a little kid say all this horrifying nihilistic stuff. They could have just had her play anyone, but she ended up getting the movie's best running gag. Again, this movie really has a talent for making things work when they really shouldn't.

Back over to Mario's group, they make it to the Jungle Kingdom, where they're greeted by... a gorilla in a sportscoat.

Eddie Valiant: Nice monkey suit.

gorilla: Wise-ass.

The gorilla takes them on a rather fun drive through their town, all while a-ha's "Take on Me" plays. The soundtrack getting pop songs forced in is another aspect of the movie that I've heard people complain about, but I don't really mind this. Would it have been better if they used more music from the games? Yes, but it's not like pop songs in Mario media is unprecedented. Need I remind you that the first episode of The Super Show had a cover of "Surfin' Bird?"

Honestly, that's kind of what this movie feels like to me, a modern update to The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. It not only has the theme song and brings back the Brooklyn backstory, something that hasn't been touched since Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island retconned things, but it also brings in stuff from all across the franchise, including spin-off games like Donkey Kong Country and Luigi's Mansion, all while maintaining that general fun feeling the original show had. This to me is what the best reboots do, I'd honestly put this movie on the same level as Friendship is Magic or the 2017 version of DuckTales. It's something I've always wanted someone to do with Mario, and I was so happy when it finally happened and I got to see it opening weekend.

Mario's group is taken to the leader of this Kingdom, Cranky Kong, voiced by... Fred Armisen.

Alright, I'll give my thoughts on the celebrity casting too. It's basically the same as my feelings on the pop songs, I don't mind them. They all do a fine job portraying their characters, with Jack Black in particular seeming to have a lot of fun as Bowser. I'm sure it would have been better to just hire regular voice actors (I know Armisen in particular got on some people's nerves), but if we have to have movie stars playing these characters, these are really not bad choices, just odd ones. Ain't nothing wrong with being odd.

"Peach: Without your help, the Mushroom Kingdom will be annihilated.

Cranky: ...Okay, fine.

Peach: That's it?

Cranky: No, that's not it, the answer is no. Goodbye!"

Okay, that's not the end. Mario, not wanting this trip to be a complete waste of time, says they won't leave until they get the Kongs' help. Cranky admires his tenacity (while also laughing at it), and allows them the use of his army if Mario can defeat his son in battle. We soon see his son Donkey Kong, voiced by Seth Rogen, in the arena making an entrance like he's on WWE.

"singers: D-K! Donkey Kong!

D-K! Donkey Kong!"

Complete with the "DK Rap" from Donkey Kong 64. Yeah, that definitely put a smile on my face. But would you believe there's a bit of controversy around this? You see, in the credits all they say about the "DK Rap" is what game it's from, not giving any credit to those who actually composed and sung it. This has caused Grant Kirkhope, longtime composer for RareWare (and, you know, the voice of Donkey Kong for several years), to refuse seeing this film. Honestly, I can't say I blame him. With how Nintendo treats the legacy of RareWare's work, is it any wonder why they left for Microsoft?

"Cranky: Now, since I want this fight to last more than five seconds, I put power-ups around the arena. You're welcome Mario."

Yeah, I imagine you gotta even the playing field when your son can literally punch the moon out of orbit...

But even with the added help things don't seem to be going well for Mario at first, unable to get any helpful power-ups... all except for one.

"Mario: Oh, what, I'm a cat?

DK: *laughs* You got the cat box!"

Mario: Ugh, why does this smell so bad?

DK: Oooh, that might be the one from Chunky's closet...

But with the cat suit come cat-like reflexes, and Mario is able to turn the tide and win, much to Peach's happiness.

"Peach: That was incredible! He kept beating you senseless, and you just kept getting back up?"

Chumbawumba: I get knocked down...

Joe Swanson: Oh no!

Chumbawumba: ...but I get up again!

Joe Swanson: Yeah!

Chumbawumba: You're never gonna keep me down!

Kind of surprised that wasn't on this movie's soundtrack...

Peach and Cranky plan to ambush Bowser before he lands at the Mushroom Kingdom, but they're gonna need speed to accomplish this. We get this scene of everyone building their own custom go-karts, all while AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" plays. (well now you're just making me wanna play Rock Band) While Mario and Peach get somewhat sensible vehicles, Toad gives himself this big honkin' monster truck he can barely control.

Shrek: Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?

We cut to Bowser, where he's interrupted from his role-playing as he learns about Peach's plan to ambush him. So, wait, does he have spies following them or something? They never really explain how Bowser's troops keep learning about what Mario's doing...

"Bowser: Oh, they think they can surprise me, huh? Two can play at that game."

Back with Mario, he's of course nervous about driving off a road that ends, but he takes the leap of faith anyways and ends up on their secret shortcut, Rainbow Road. You know, they probably could have let Mario know about this ahead of time...

"Peach: Is there anything like this in your world?

Mario: Ha ha, no. We don't drive on rainbows.

Peach: What are you gonna tell me next, the turtles aren't evil?

Mario: No no, they're usually pets."

Mario: Though I have heard rumors about giant ones that live in the sewers...

(okay, seriously though, how is Mario meets the Ninja Turtles not a thing?)

Speaking of turtles, our heroes are suddenly ambushed by Bowser's troops, and we get this extended sequence of car chasing, Mario jumping from different vehicles, the lead Koopa driving this giant Mad Max machine, it's an incredible spectacle. I know I'm just giving the cliff's notes here, but this really is a fun scene, like one of this movie's many highlights. I'd say you should watch it for yourselves, but let's face it, you probably already have, considering how much money this film made.

Still, there is one moment I feel I should bring up.

"Lead Koopa Troopa: BLUE SHELL!"

And he blows up part of the road, sending Mario and Donkey Kong into the ocean below much to everyone's horror. So wait, the blue shells were alive this whole time? And their whole purpose is just to kamikaze themselves at whoever is about to win? That's all kinds of fucked up...

And just to add insult to injury on Mario's part, he and Donkey Kong get swallowed by a giant sea serpent.

Okay, that's not the end either. Peach rushes home to tell her subjects the bad news, warning everyone to evacuate before Bowser arrives. She and Toad get ready for a fight, but Bowser has a different proposal in mind...

"Bowser: Peaches, with this star, we will be invincible. We can rule the world together, forever. Will you marry me?"

I think the greatest twist would be if she did marry Bowser only to eventually divorce him so she could take half of his assets. That's how you play the long game!

Peach reluctantly accepts Bowser's proposal on the condition that nobody else gets hurt... which Bowser clearly doesn't plan to keep his promise on, as we see the Kong army in his dungeon, all of them planned to be a ritualistic sacrifice. (what kind of deity does Bowser worship anyway? Dharkon?)

Elsewhere, it seems Mario and Donkey Kong are still alive inside the eel, but feeling pretty hopeless.

"DK: So this is the end, being slowly digested by an eel next to a idiot in overalls.

Mario: Well at least your brother isn't gonna die because of you.

DK: At least you're not gonna die with your Dad thinking you're a joke.

Mario: Yeah well, my Dad thinks I'm a joke too...

DK: Yeah, well... YOU'RE DAD'S RIGHT!"

Okay, here's another criticism I've heard about this movie, the fast pacing. There are quite a few scenes where they could have lingered a bit to help the audience get more emotionally invested, maybe just another minute or two. This is a perfect example of that, as I feel like Mario and Donkey Kong could have had a more emotional connection here talking about their own father issues. Instead they just insult each other for a bit. Again, I'm not expecting something like Steven Universe, but maybe they could have slowed things down here just a tad?

But they find the remains of DK's car, and escape the eel by riding on that missile akin to one of those levels from Donkey Kong Country Returns. Hope they still have plenty of lives left, because they're gonna be stuck here for a while...

We cut to Bowser's wedding, the pews all filled with cameos, as Peach begins marching down the aisle... only for her to reveal that her bouquet had an ice flower, and she begins freezing everything in sight. Shoot, and I already made a Frozen joke...

Mario and Donkey Kong arrive to crash the wedding, and we get a bit of them running through the town fighting through all of Bowser's troops. (also DK using a fire flower, something that I don't think has ever happened in any game) Whatever problems anyone may have with this movie, there's no denying the fight sequences are so damn fun. They're fast, but never so much that you can't follow what's going on, and it feels like every movement has some weight to it. This is how you bring the action of a modern Mario game to cinema.

During the chaos, Mario gets his hands on a Tanuki Suit, which of course gives him the ability to fly. (like Tanukis do, I guess) With this along with Donkey Kong's help, they are finally able to rescue Luigi and the other prisoners.

"Mario: Ha ha! I told you, see? As long as we're together, everything's gonna be okay!

Luigi: Mario, why do you look like a bear, what is this?"

Mario: I don't know, but I gotta say, I don't hate it...

But Bowser is pretty pissed about Mario ruining his wedding day, so he decides to launch the equivalent of a nuke to destroy the Mushroom Kingdom. So, wait, if you can't have Peach, nobody can? Seems like a bit of an overreaction.

Mario flies up and gets the missile to follow him (does Bowser have any explosives that aren't alive?), and he lures it into that green warp pipe from earlier... which suddenly explodes, creating some kind of vortex that sucks them all into Brooklyn. Yeah, what was Mario's plan, exactly? Did he think nothing would happen if you shot a nuke into an inter-dimensional portal? Just because Iron Man did it doesn't mean you should too.

Bowser appears from the rubble and holds nothing back, beating Mario like he's a sandbag from Super Smash Bros. The plumber is naturally feeling pretty hopeless right now, as they're now in the human world where there are no power-ups he can use. Can anything lift his spirits?

"Mario (commercial): That's why the Super Mario Bros. are here!"

Yes, with a simple replay of his commercial, Mario is reminded of what he's truly fighting for. Also, I like the callback of Mario's face reflected in the TV like when he was playing his NES, symbolizing him needing to get back up again after a really bad day. It's a small detail, but it goes a long way.

"Mario: Let's-a go."

Mario goes back out, with Peach telling him to grab the Star. Bowser tries to burn him before he can, but this is when Luigi finally gets to have his moment to shine, using a manhole cover to protect Mario.

"Luigi: Nothing can hurt us... as long as we're together."

Mario and Luigi both reach towards the Star, and using it's power they are finally able to put the smackdown on Bowser and his troops while an orchestrated version of the Invincibility theme plays. Yeah, I may complain that Luigi isn't in much of this movie, but it's nice he got to join in on the climax at least, finally finding his courage. (and justifying the "Brothers" part of the title a bit more) I honestly wouldn't mind seeing Luigi get his own movie... perhaps hunting ghosts through some kind of mansion...

Also fun fact, apparently the music for this part was originally going to be a song by Van Halen, but Nintendo had to insist that they use the Invincibility theme. Guess they were fine with the other pop songs.

So Peach feeds the battered Bowser a Mini-Mushroom, shrinking him before they put him in a jar. (oh God, PLEASE don't turn this into Rule 34!) The day is saved, with all of Brooklyn cheering for their heroes, and even their parents praising them. Though I imagine there'll be a lot of questions asked at the next family dinner...

We end the movie on Mario and Luigi having taken up residence in the Mushroom Kingdom, getting ready for their next job while Electric Light Orchestra's "Mr. Blue Sky" Plays.

(a song that was in another Chris Pratt movie, BTW. Dude's just repeating himself now)

Oh, but we also get a couple of easter eggs, one mid-credits where Bowser performs a reprise of "Peaches" (seriously, they struck gold with this song), and another when a certain someone's egg hatches in the Brooklyn sewers. Anyone else have this delightful image of a bunch of Yoshis causing havoc across the city a'la Gremlins?

That was 2023's The Super Mario Bros. Movie. Honestly, I friggin' loved this. Obviously it's not perfect, there's some plot holes, cliches, the pop songs are a bit forced, some scenes could stand to be longer, and a lot of the references could fly over the heads of people not familiar with the source material. But those come off as minor nitpicks at best, and in my opinion this movie easily makes up for them. We get Mario being allowed to be an actual character rather than a player avatar who spouts catchphrases, an actually-skilled Peach, a pretty funny Bowser, and all the fun kinds of action you'd expect from the games being brought to cinema. It may not be the smartest movie out there, but it didn't need to be. It just needed to be fun, like any Mario game, and on that front they passed with flying colors. Grab yourselves some mushroom pasta and check it out for yourselves.

Well, that's it for Multi-Part March, and I'm glad I got to see my childhood dream come true. But alas, childhood cannot last forever. Next month I plan on reviewing something interesting, one that shows we all have to... grow up.

Until next time, this is mariomaster88, signing out!