Stuck

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What is home? Everyone around kept telling that your happy place is not really a place, it's a person. But what if you are one of those people who appreciate a place more than a person you're next to? They call you a weird kid. That's fine, being weird is not always a sin. But what if you are just too confused to actually realize where (or who?) is your home? 
Candy was, well, always confused. She was one of those horses who had no nationality, no love preferences and no place to call home. She was a mixture of Slavic and Western European ponies, she loved only her relatives and herself and she had tried living all around the world, but never actually made up her mind about where to stay. 

They were sitting in the middle of a grassland watching stars with her friend Wilhelm, somewhere in Northern Virginia.

- Amsterdam? - Wilhelm looked at her, smiling.

- No, didn't work out. The study loans are way too high and I just can't handle that cold climate anymore. The weather is just as bad as in Moscow, - she responded quietly.

- I see, at least you tried. Germany? 

- Weather, Wilh. Though it's warmer than in Moscow, it's still pretty bad.

- I thought you were a German at some point, - he turned his head around and looked at the stars.

- I am. And also a Belgian and, of course, Russian. That doesn't seem to do me any favor. I remember trying to write letters to both German and Belgian embassies, saying that I'm being discriminated for my bad blood and asking them to give me a citizenship.

Wilh laughed.

- Did it work out?

- No, they never wrote me back. That's for the better I guess. I just wanted to leave the country so badly, but I never thought of what will it bring, - she sighed.

- At least you could have been cleaning the streets of Antwerpen. Or Frankfurt. As a refugee. An ethnic German refugee, - Wilh was smiling.

- Sad, but true, - she hugged her knees and gazed into the sky. 

Wilh took out a pack of cigarettes and offered Candy one. She took it.

- I thought you don't smoke.

- I don't. But damn, look at the sky. This beauty is worth lighting a cigarette. 

Silence. Only sounds of the wind blowing. It was already too late for the birds to sing, so everything around was deadly quiet.

- How about Moscow? You keep telling that you love your hometown to death. Why do you wanna leave then? - Wilh blinked slowly.

- I do. I love her. But she doesn't seem to love me back. I mean, the climate, ecology and all... I might just end up dying there if I don't take my pills. Our government doesn't care about nature whatsoever.

- I see. But I still don't understand, kid. You didn't loose your Muscovite citizenship. You're at a place that made you cry your happy tears all these years. You have horses to keep you company. And your job at the airport even allows you to go home whenever you want. What else do you need? - His voice was very calm, he spoke in a manner that couldn't offend anyone.

Candy sighed, and then stared to the ground for a couple seconds.

- I remember crying just because of a thought that I'm gonna have to leave soon... You can't even imagine how many tears I shed in our hotel room in Chantilly. It was like, the first half of the trips I cried because I'm here, and the second part I cried because I should leave someday. This place really does feel like home. And so does Moscow. Wilhelm, I'm so confused! Sometimes I just memorize those pictures of a local canal in my head, where I used to cycle daily in the summer... That simple, warm Russian beauty... I wanna go home... But where is home? - she sounded very tired and sick, - I keep trying to find a place to call my forever home, but all I find is more tears.

Wilh didn't know what to do. As a psychotherapist he should have known how to calm her down, but here they are, somewhere in Virginia, and Candy is about to sob. Or is she? He didn't know. She's usually not the one to cry in public. He saw her in tears only once, though he knew she really liked to whine on her own. 
But apart from being a doctor, he was also her friend. He first tried to say something, but words didn't seem to make their way from head to his mouth. So he hugged her. 

- I understand. But is it all that bad? You know, it all could have been worse. Now come on, let's go to Moscow on holidays, - he didn't know what else he could say, so he said what first came to mind. Candy laughed.

- You're not being serious, yankee. 

- Come on! I heard you guys spend New Year way crazier than we do. And I'll also see Mariya, so win win! - at this point he wasn't sure if he was serious or not, but the idea still seemed cool.

Candy smiled now. The cold evening suddenly stopped being so cold as they were leaning on each other's backs. She took a drag off her cigarette and felt the warmth spreading all over her body. She didn't feel insecure anymore. Though she still was confused, but it was another type of confusion now. The nicer one. 

- You know, you're right. I'm a happy pony, damn it. I shouldn't complain too much. Yeah, I'll always stay somewhere in-between, but as long as I'll be able to travel, it all going to be just fine. This is in our pony nature, we seek for some rational explanations of what we are. But I am comfortable with being myself, and most importantly, I'm comfortable being here... Thank you.

Wilh smiled with his usual calm and kind grin. His eyes were just as sick and hollow as usual, but now it felt that they were also filled with joy. 

- Now come on, give me that cigarette, you're too young! - He laughed and tried to take it out of Candy's mouth.

- But daaaaaaaad! - she screamed, giggling, - you were the one to give me this! 

- I'm not your father, kid!

- You certainly act like one, - she pulled his hoof unexpectedly, which caused Wilh to drop his joint.

They both laughed and then just continued watching the skyline, which was quiet and peaceful. The air smelled wet grass, late autumn, and something very, very familiar - the smell Candy used to feel since her childhood. It smelled home.

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Another very personal thing. I promise, I'm working on Christmas gifts as well! I just re-listened to the songs I've been listening to in America and there ya go. Another DC/Virginia inspired drawing. Another fake screenshot.

Actually, I already have a drawing with a very similar plot, but I wanted to recreate this idea in a different setting.
www.deviantart.com/mariebite78…

The sky is exactly what I've seen in the states, I even drew the constellations that I saw there. I've witnessed this beautiful sunset in Arlington, VA.

Hope you guys are fine with me always drawing this personal stuff. You see, I am really stuck on certain places.

Also, this is inspired (well, not really inspired, but still) by the song "Stuck" by Imagine Dragons. I listened to it in the US 24/7, so it really means a lot to me.

And no, I don't smoke, kids. And to answer your question - NO they are not dating. Their relationship is more like "wise father / dumb child", that's it.