(Manny is on the phone right now)
EXCUSE ME, I did NOT start this review series just so you could torment me! I'm NOT willing to go that far!
Oh? But you were so generous to review my breakout show. Now, I'm returning the favor... with my FAVORITE failed pilot!
But it's freaking stupid! And I don't think even fans of the CHARACTER like it!
Well, I'm giving this to you anyway. And I expect a full, constructive review, positive or not! Now, I must be going. My PINGAS won't scratch itself!
(Robotnik hangs up)
Man, I really HATE that egghead...
Sorry, fellers... Looks like I've been given a RIPE target today. Before I start this review, I would like to talk about a character named Bubsy.
"What could possibly go wrong?"
Bubsy is the name of a character created by the now-defunct game company Accolade in the early 90s, more than likely an attempt to join the ranks of Sonic the Hedgehog. That went over as well as you'd expect...
Do you wanna know why Sonic worked? Sonic the Hedgehog provided an exhilarating experience for the player. The control scheme was easy to pick up; the levels were challenging and fast-paced; and Sonic himself stood the test of time! Say what you want about [insert Sonic title you absolutely hate here], but it's still one of the most popular franchises of all time! Keyword: POPULAR. Second keyword: FRANCHISE. That's where Bubsy comes in.
Bubsy only starred in four video games, the final of which, Bubsy 3D, is considered to be one of the worst video games ever made -- as in, right up there with the likes of Sonic the Hedgehog (2006); Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing; and Daikatana (all of which were released AFTER Bubsy 3D). I actually own Bubsy 3D, and let me tell you, it's a piece of crap. It's... actually a surprising guilty pleasure for me. ...But I'm not here to talk about that. (That's what AVGN is there for.)
There was actually an animated pilot based on Bubsy. Yes, pilot. Apparently, people thought it was so bad, they rejected it on sight, and it was never heard from again... Until internet reviewers started digging it up.
I actually saw this once after watching MrEnter's review of it. It was bad. As in, HORRID HENRY BAD. This is the kind of show that made me want to grind my laptop into filings... And I'd do it too, if I hadn't any sanity left. I'm actually surprised that... this thing didn't suck it all out. You know what? I've stalled long enough. Let's review the Bubsy cartoon pilot, or as I like to call it, "How to Make You Lose All Respect for Humanity in 24 Minutes."
Just a heads up, though, you might wanna have some mind bleach nearby. You're gonna need it by the time that this is over.
The show starts with...
Really? Not even a minute, and I already have the urge to facedesk rapidly and gruesomely. First of all, the intro is just noise. It's loaded with stock sound effects. Bubsy himself has a voice that just isn't pleasant to listen to. Second, the animation is choppy, and the resolution is even worse. I don't know where it was recorded, but whoever did it did a crappy job. Third, what is the point to this? It's just Bubsy kissing his alarm clock, using a car buffer to brush his teeth, eating breakfast sloppily, and running around his house like a maniac. You would literally get the same experience watching an episode of Fangface. In fact, you could remove this intro, replace it with a intro like Glee, and the episode would be the same. Ugh... Already, I'm losing my grip on reality...
After that blitzkrieg they call an intro, we get our title.
Remember that line.
We cut to a... I don't know what the heck that is supposed to be.
Bubsy heads to wake up an armadillo named Arnold, who I'm guessing is his pet. Arnold's having a nightmare. He dreams he's about to become roadkill, courtesy of a big rig. Apparently, Arnold has these every night.
OF COURSE, Bubsy pays no attention to Arnold's neurosis. He wakes him up... by inflating him ... and starts bragging.
"Bubsy?! Oh, oh! Worse than a truck!!" Remember THAT line.
Arnold frantically tries to think of someplace to hide, so Bubsy throws him under a couch. Predictable joke coming...
The two palette swaps come barging in...
...and immediately start looking for Arnold. Of course Bubsy tells them where he is. Arnold starts fearing for his life as the Garfield fetuses start yanking him. Also, their voices are worse than Bubsy's.
As the demon spawns of Heathcliff argue over Arnold, Bubsy turns on the TV. This comes on:
Anchor: And last year, over 10,000 armadillos were run over by trucks in the state of Texas alone. For many of the poor little fellows, this is the last sound they will ever hear...
OK, time to point out the problems here. One, that "no-armadillos" sign in the corner implies that he thinks it's GOOD thing. Two, I'm no geographer, but I'm sure that not that many armadillos could die in one state. Three, the anchor had no emotion in his voice. It's like that stupid reporter in The Garfield Show's "Orange and Black." Jeez...
This causes Arnold to roll into a ball out of fear. Predictably, Sylvester's love children don't give a damn. Bubsy tells Arnold not to play rough...
Shouldn't he tell that to his excuses for a niece and nephew!?
Anyway, back to the so-called "story:" The report switches to a Professor Virgil Reality (corny name), who has just completed a helmet that "makes the wearer's dreams a reality." Jeez, Horrid Henry looks better than that thing.
More armadillo abuse. Yay!
Now all Virgil needs is someone brave -- no, sorry, "totally nuts" -- to test the machine. Bubsy decides that he's the right one for the job. Fitting metaphor.
As Virgil and his assistant argue, this Cruella de Ville knockoff sets her own sights on the helmet.
No, that's not fair. Cruella is actually FAR less one-dimensional.
She calls her bumbling assistants, Buzz the buzzard and Sid the shrew, over. OK, MORE PROBLEMS AHOY!!! First off, Universal, sue someone. Two, the only reason this slut cat wants the helmet is so that "she can live the lifestyle she deserves." Cat, you are loaded. Three, it's all becoming very clear that this pilot is ripping off something: ADVENTURES OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. Actually, I'm not surprised, considering that Bubsy was a pitiful attempt to cash in on Sonic. In fact, a lot of things in this "show" are very similar to Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog: the unlikable "antagonist;" the outlandish set designs; the bumbling minions -- heck, the version I watched even labeled these three "villains" Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder.
Now, back to the story -- Apparently, Buzz was cooking, and Sid stuck his tongue into the pot. Oh, yes, Sid is constantly starving, no doubt something these sadistic "writers" also want to exploit.
But hey, the slut cat does not care! She silences them with the ol' nails on a blackboard gag...
Which is actually the LEAST intolerable sound in this show thus far...
And orders the Tom and Jerry rejects to go after that helmet -- oh, but only after a shoddy gag which involves Sid trying to eat a fly and the slut cat imagining things. What drugs did they infuse this show with?
Yep, Cruella is definitely less one dimensional than this wench.
Meanwhile, back to Sonic's sorry excuse for competition...
Bubsy arrives at Virgil's lab. Also, another problem: The assistant keeps pronouncing Bubsy's name wrong. I don't think she finished grade school...
Bubsy yanks the helmet from Virgil, who tells him the instructions: Just think, blink twice, and BOOM! Your dream is real! But be warned -- oh that's right, Bubsy couldn't be bothered. He dreams he can fly -- surprise, surprise, Bubsy can't fly. His stupidity warps everyone to a freefall in the sky, which brings us to yet another problem - in the games, Bubsy has the ability to glide. Seriously. He ripped off Knuckles before Knuckles even existed, and now this show does not acknowledge it. Great. Let's throw "Did Not Do the Research" into this show's flaws.
Virgil, understandably, tries to get the helmet back, but it slips and lands on Arnold's head. Guess what happens. Just guess.
Yeah, a truck appears in the sky!!! youtu.be/kdhhQhqi_AE
Surprising, Bubsy actually does something smart and zaps everyone back to the lab. Yay, for your bravery, you get a vast heaping bowl of this.
Nope, I was wrong: Everyone except Arnold, who instead crashes through the ceiling and gets his tail stomped on by Bubsy. God, these "people" are having a field day with unfunny jokes...
Archie's colons want to play with the helmet. EXCUSE ME?! After you all were almost killed!? Understandably, Virgil forbids it, so Bubsy thanks Virgil for his time and calls it a day. No, wait, that would be the right thing to do. Instead, the Josie and the Pussycats mutants bamboozle their elders by switching one of them in place of a chair Bubsy means to put the helmet on. Thing 2 wears the helmet, and she and Thing 1 sneak out. *facedesks until head opens*
After two annoying bumpers, we cut to Buzz and Sid homing in... and to be fair, these two actually do deliver a legitimately funny scene:
Buzz: (groans) You're always hungry.
Sid: (stammering) I'm a shrew. If I don't eat every 10 minutes, I go mad...!
Buzz: Yes, well, in your case, it's a little too late.
Sid: I know.
I admit, I chuckled a little at that. Unfortunately, this is undermined by the next scene. They find the lost members of Simba's pride arguing over the helmet, which provides opportunities for our "villains:" The slut cat (apparently, "Ally" is her name) gets the helmet, and both of our minions get a full-course meal. The enemy strikes! Oh, but not before shenanigans:
Teresa: I want a pony!
(insert brony joke here [even though I'm not a Friendship is Magic fan ])
Terence: I want a... (I... really can't tell what he's saying...) power boat!
Is this even funny?!
Gossamer's armpit hairs continue to argue. Buzz and Sid try to swoop in, but Sid bumps into a plane, followed by lightning shocking him and cacti poking him.
Sid, however, is fortunate enough to land into a cake that Yosemite Sam's toe fungi dreamed up, which manages to hold him over. Actually, no -- the candle he picked up on the way was a stick of dynamite -- why would you make candles out of dynamite!?
Daphne Blake's split ends decide they want to play with the "rat and the turkey." They propose a rollercoaster ride, which Buzz does not see. Guess what happens...
WHY did I see this coming a mile away?
Meanwhile, Bubsy wants the helmet back, but Virgil's assistant -- named Oblivia -- can't find it. Bubsy realizes the twins must have it -- OK, why did it take this long to find out the helmet's gone?! As they start their search, they find out that the Conker the Squirrel wannabes' rollercoaster has somehow transformed the lab into...
Oh, and Arnold finally gets run over (albeit not by a truck). Ha ha ha ha... oh wait, that's not funny.
Understandably, Virgil panics. Bubsy, being the ever-optimistic one (seriously, your kin are about to cause Armageddon. At least act afraid for them!!) grabs Arnold by the tail and boasts before he "saves the day."
What follows is a minute and 30 seconds of undiluted filler. The only things of substance that happen here are Sid retching, Buzz insisting he isn't a turkey (another stupid gag), and Bubsy demanding his genetic clones stop the ride. Don't worry, they comply -- but it results in everybody else falling down. Anyone else absolutely hating these Phil and Lil DeVille ripoffs!?
Bubsy regains his bearings and tries to look for his excuses for kin, but he runs into a wall. Wait, no -- the malformed Meowth have become giants, courtesy of that helmet! Thing 1 steps on Bubsy.
Please don't remind me of better shows...!!!
Eventually, Tweedle-Douche and Tweedle-Deficit turn back to normal. Bubsy's hopping mad (to the point of just hissing and spewing rubbish), but really, Arnold has the real say here.
Arnold: You... should all be put in jail!
And WHY did the terrible twosome cause all this...? This:
OH. MY. DOG. Yes, it appears that Bubsy gave that little of a crap about his own kin's birthday. SOME UNCLE!! Seriously, they're all about as bad Fangface/Sherman Fangsworth's so-called "friends."
Meanwhile, Buzz attempts to try to attack the "twins" again. He launches Sid through the clouds which apparently are still shooting lightning. No matter -- Sid manages to get the helmet!
Of course Bubsy manages to fool him into trading the helmet for dynamite wrapped in a corn dog shell. Do I need to reiterate?
Actually, no - turns out, that stick of dynamite was all our minions needed to get the helmet. tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmw…
Now at last, Ally... Allie... Allee... you know what, SLUT CAT is the appropriate name for this Arlene wannabe -- has finally gotten the helmet. Now only one question remains - Why did Buzz grab Chuckie Finster's nose hairs as well?! They literally were not needed - in fact, the way this set up usually works is that the villain kidnaps the victims, then demands something in return for their escape. Oh, yes, that's right -- the buzzard and shrew still need to eat... so why don't they just ask the slut cat to dream up a smorgasbord? Then again, that would demand our writers to have brains.
Also, is it me, or is the audio completely out of sync with the video at this point?
Bubsy berates himself for losing the deformed Growlithe clones and the helmet and sending the world into certain doom... by having a gold digger wish for stuff she doesn't need. Anybody see a problem with that???
(Un)Fortunately, Bubsy's delusion of Arnold believing in him (he mistook Arnold for a wrench to beat himself with, then let him get electrocuted on a machine. Can I really take him seriously?) makes him determined to get everything back.
Virgil just so happens to have a machine that can track down the device, but of course , Bubsy doesn't accept. No, Bubsy has a much more ingenious idea: He searches for Sid in the phone book. youtu.be/kdhhQhqi_AE
Seriously, talk about anti-climatic. The phone rings as Buzz chases Stimpy's inbred cousins around. Sid answers, and Bubsy fools him into thinking he's going to get a "free banquet dinner for 50." Predictably, Sid jumps for joy.
Buzz tries to reprimand his cohort, but Top Cat's hairballs knock him into the pot. Buzz goes flying out, which alerts the slut cat.
Why is the water green? Also, isn't this a fire hazard?!
Turns out, slut cat has gotten hat hair from the helmet. Why can't she just wish it back to normal?
Her genius plan is to simply not answer, but Sid's malnourished behind simply cannot resist. Bubsy and the "gang" come barging in, and the fight is on!!
...And nothing happens for the rest of the show.
...Just kidding, I wouldn't do that to you people. But yeah, what follows is another two minutes of undiluted filler. It begins with the slut cat doing the nails on a chalkboard thing -- this time for no reason. Oblivia (bleh) proves she's totally not useless by knocking the board on her. The helmet lands, and everyone fights for it. It's... not as exciting as it sounds. Sid manages to get the helmet first, and he thinks up...
To this show's credit, Sid is the only other character I actually feel remotely sorry for.
Buzz tries to get the helmet, but it somehow slips and lands on Thing 1's head. Thing 1 thinks up...
Ah yes, the birthday party that was the reason for their visit to their uncle.
Now the helmet lands on Oblivia. This happens:
What is this? I don't even...
Now it's Buzz's turn.
"Now you're ALL in hot water!"
Now Arnold. Do I have to say it?
How can a truck ring a doorbell?!
And now, slut cat.
Your mind gets numbed! Your mind gets numbed! Everybody's mind gets numbed!!!
Oblivia KOs her again, and the helmet lands in Bubsy's arms. There's now a tiny problem: Due to the constant wishing, the helmet's about to explode! Seriously, writers, what drugs?
No, of course not... Bubsy just so happened to wish for his enemies' defeat.
And so, the day is saved, even though Bubsy was a douchebag throughout the episode, the villain was a joke, and the helmet was nothing more than a MacGuffin. And Oblivia finally gets Bubsy's name right.
Oblivia: I did?
After more filler, the episode ends on a terrible, terrible note.
Bubsy: I don't know about you, Arnold, but the thought of our next adventure already has me tingling with excitement!
Guess what happens. I dare you. Just GUESS!!!
And so, Bubsy and Arnold died. THE END!
My goodness, this was horrible... I take back what I said earlier: Fangface was actually much better developed than this piece of crud. The character designs are eye-raping (in fact, I still have a couple of jokes left for Thing 1 and Thing 2), the voice acting is worse (Rob Paulsen, who voices Bubsy, is openly ashamed of having played a part in this, but really, I think everyone involved deserves better), the characters are grossly unlikable (Bubsy is bad, yes, but everyone else is either bland, abused just to be abused, and/or worse than Bubsy), and worst of all... The whole thing just isn't pleasant to watch. Sure, it had a few good moments here and there, but I just can't FATHOM this. In fact, I have nothing more to say here... so I'll let HIM do it:
It is horrendously bad, beyond annoying. Every second is like a kick to my [censored]. The story, the characters, everything about it is like a little kid jumping on her bed screaming. It's just loud, grating, and makes no sense. It's one of the worst, people, one of the worst I've ever had to sit through. It is a piece of... DAAAAAAAARGH!!
That one line about Sid going mad.
The virtual reality helmet, I admit, is pretty good.
At one point, Sid mimics Buzz. That was also pretty funny.
Obnoxious voice acting.
Heinous character designs.
The entire thing is 24 minutes of noise. Pure noise.
The writing for this thing is bad. The helmet's only purpose is to fuel the phoned-in climax, as well as to provide us with a stupid battle scene and make us question this show's logic. Really, the wearer has the powers of a god, and what happens?!
Two stupid bobcats wish for personal gain.
A gold digger wishes for personal gain.
A starving shrew wishes for a corn dog.
A buzzard wishes for a hot pot.
An armadillo who suffers from PTSD is overcome by fear and summons trucks at two different points.
The titular stupid bobcat wishes to fly, but can't.
It rips off Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog -- like I said before, it's far from a bad show, but I still don't think that's the kind of show you wanna rip off -- and I'm pretty sure they ripped off Fangface in here as well.
Oh, and most importantly - all but two of this show's characters are completely unlikeable!!!
Before I show you guys this Animated Atrocity's note page, let me show you the one for "Horrid Henry's Holiday."
MrEnter's rule: The higher the number, the worse the product.
And here's one for "Britain's Got Bloodmonkey," an episode of the worst TV series ever made.
And here's this show's page.
By the way, "What could possibly go wrong?" Yeah, it's said 10+ times here. Seriously. That question could NOT be more obvious...
Now, if you excuse me, I have a Ro-BUTT-nik to send this review to. This has been Dr. Manny Presents. Join me next time as I review something else...
Garfield: The Movie
A Shin-chan movie
Star vs. The Forces of Evil
Ren and Stimpy "Adult Party Cartoon"
I'm taking requests! Just give me a note with a suggestion, and I'll reply ASAP!