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About Deviant Artist Mandie L. J.Female/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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Statistics 21 Deviations 126 Comments 2,502 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

It was
I wonder how much more of my time
will slip away in regretful monotony
as you all move on and have lives
and loves and friends and experiences
I see eager minds with eyes for the future
with tangible accomplishments and refined skills
shining like the sun
an image in my head of an awkward child
I can't believe it's been three years
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 0
And he plays the accordion
Our worlds are separate so my
attempts to infiltrate yours are
met with open arms and fervor but fail
and I feel the pull back to mine
You see, you kind of saved me
you kind of made me new again and
you're kind of always there when
I think about the good parts of me
But you were whole before I came around
and I wonder who you see when
you think of your life beginning
but I assume it isn't me
And you're kind of super significant
to my life and who I am but I wonder
if you hear me when I speak or
disregard the screw-up whom you had to fix
Our worlds are separate so my
attempts to infiltrate yours are
brief and lovely and I hope you secretly
have a similar desire to infiltrate mine
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 1 1
I drew a smile on your paper, do you remember?
No one's mere existence is
quixotic, you see.
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 0
I never got to enjoy the oceans
When the car creeps into the empty intersection on a red light, then slowly reverses at a sharp angle
I say, "What the hell was that?"
He says, "Turning...?"
I laugh like a fool
Apparently my laughter is contagious
If I wanted to go for a drink, I could do it now
I can make my own decisions, drive and fuck and open a bank account
I can walk from here to Europe if I really want because
Every ocean has been replaced by rigid concrete
I no longer have an excuse to drown
200 days of being a juvenile later
Whose feet are these, on which I must stabilize my weight?
The advantage of seizing strong legs to hold me up
is the certainty of a dance
while the disadvantage is dancing a dance that is not mine
We promptly got lost. We ended up on a winding road with no exits, then in a few construction zones
Which felt oddly homey
A hole in the dishevelled rubble, supposed to house a pristine structure and
I can relate to the desolation  
I'll live in a hole such as that
Because this regulat
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 1
Marbled Tea Eggs
You ripped your stomach wide open
You take yourself down, and others run free
Each girl, like chalk dust, through your fingers
If you could ever hold anyone to begin with
I made you a card, I made it quickly
And I hope you get better, so you can see past this monolith
My words will run off my tongue and I'll speak to you with strength
And I hope you'll stand momentarily uninhibited, and maybe you'll just be, for a while
You invite me to live, love
But I feel you only do so because you said you would
Not because you want to, anymore
I think you'll leave soon - I feel how you look away and wish you could
We're too quiet - they overlook as we sit, content, sharing stores in the emergency room
Will all my stories be emergency room stories?
You're oblivious; I'd love to tell you how many times my brain echo's your name
I love you, but you love them much more, and I only wish you'd think of me as so... missed.
Happy birthday - do you know how I wished to have people proclaim, I
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 1 0
haunt a life that's happening
{Opening Credits.}
i think to myself,
God. I adore you. You make my heart sing. You set my soul aloft. Life with you brings me everything I've always wanted. God. I love you.
i think back four years
and there is no more truthful thought to have had
because you were everything
(you were the only thing)
{Fast Forward.}
[There's a way to rebuild my bones. A way to revitalize my tissues. A way to add colour to my face and pump me back up, full of more blood than I'll ever need.]
i used to have so many words for them all
so many nights when i'd writhe because i am a despicable girl for what i didn't say
but thsoe wdors bcoeme jumbled.
like the mosaic of lies i would constantly re-arrange
ot aiovd tiknhnig aubot how i probably hurt you.
[It is fall. The season loves me. I wander without a coat, challenging the icy breeze.
I'll eat my tomato right off the vine. I stand tall and laugh loud, for I hold life in my hands.]
part of me loves you as if you were a missing portion of myself
like a fra
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 0
It Doesn't Even
I'm totally okay with having to leave
We had fun.
It doesn't even matter.
Just like how it doesn't matter
that you don't love me anymore.
Just like how it doesn't matter
that it will be so much harder
when you do have a girlfriend.
Just like how it doesn't matter
that you've convinced me to abandon my beliefs
because I love you too much
to say no.
It doesn't
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 0
Stupid Boy
Stupid boy,
          Stupid boy.
And a stupid girl.
We got along
so well.
You say nothing changes,
            dreams are gone.
Stupid boy.
How is it
I'm always wrong?
We were candles in the darkness.
I'm the sun
And you're burning out.
Twenty years
Walk with a limp
                I'm so much older.
Stupid boy.
You want to be stuck.
I tried to smile,
            it didn't work.
Such drama.
Such bullshit.
Stupid boy.
I've outgrown feeling sorry.
Its time you outgrow arguing for your broken bones.
You broke them yourself.
Can you be called stupid
                        when he is at fault
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 0
Why Having Friends Is Useful by Mandie-J Why Having Friends Is Useful :iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 3
Why do lights always seem brighter from the corner of my eye
With a putrid false security that makes ambitions fly
But to look into the light and witness slowly as it dims
Always breaks me from this foolish false security I'm in
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 2
Mirroring Happy Eyes
When you hear this, I ask you to
disregard the face
that is telling it to you
for that face is one
that could never be taken seriously
A mask covers our world
reaching from the shore
and covering every one of our faces with a
painted perfection
that we try so hard to be
Leaving in the shadows
the indolent and surreptitious
the lowly and the damaged
I however
balance on the periphery
Watching as those around me succumb to the idea of what is perfect
I lose myself in the idea of what is normal
With the world flowing past me
leaving me in the dust
I hide under a blanket of broad inscrutability
My own shadow reaches from my head to my feet
This shadow is my salvation
for within its boundaries I can distort the image seen to the eyes of onlookers
The broken
painful eyes of a thousand nightmares
The limp
defeated body of one who is powerless and broken
Are swallowed by the blackness
Reality is twisted by my shadow
until here before you
stands my own painted picture
With eyes that seamlessly
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 2 2
Too Far
Born from a family
in which everyone will love
until the day
we dry up and crumble into ash
I fail to understand
how you forget how to love
before you even begin
to crumble
With every word
and breath
I feel closer
and farther
and closer
too close
back off
too far
too far
too far
the same as the rest
:iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 2
Hearts Don't Break People by Mandie-J Hearts Don't Break People :iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 0 Eyes by Mandie-J Eyes :iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 0 Punk Grrl by Mandie-J Punk Grrl :iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 2 Stupid thing by Mandie-J Stupid thing :iconmandie-j:Mandie-J 0 0

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Mandie L. J.
I'm replacing what was here with this blurb about my face!

Um, well, it has a nose, and eyes and stuff. Okay, not really my literal face.

I'm Mandie, a young-adult-thing from Canada. I'm a lady.

That's all I have to say.

Also, I love you. Even if I don't know you. Spread the love and junk. Okay!
  • Watching: Monster
  • Eating: Easter Food
  • Drinking: Mystery Tea


Add a Comment:
Sketchphase Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
thx for the fav!
Animus-Panthera Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks so much for the fav on my backpack tutorial! If you use it, I'd love to see what you make. ^_^
emu-strutsi Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2011  Student Interface Designer
thanks : ) :sun:
KayPikeFashion Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2010  Professional Artist
NaoiUme Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2010
Thanks for the :+fav: :dance:
blackcurrantjewelry Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2010
Thank you for the watch : )
holls Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2010  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
BallJointedDoll Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2008   Photographer
thanks for the fav!
lachrymosity Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2008  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the :+fav: and watch! :)
koolkid180 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2008
hey guess who?
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