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What Makes A Man A Man?

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 30, 2012, 3:34 AM
He walks like me,
He talks like me,
He dresses like me,
He fucks like me.
I try to be the idol I see before me.
And there's the rub -
Try may I, yet he is - soul & bone
Soul & Bone.

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  • Listening to: This Mortal Coil
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:icondanostergren:
DanOstergren Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Professional Photographer
To be a man you must have honor. Honor and a penis.
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:iconman-blu:
man-blu Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
Ahh would that life were that simple.
Firstly - alas honour is in short enough supply among Homo Sapiens let alone the male of the species.
And secondly have a look at the work of Loren Cameron (photographer) to question whether a penis maketh the man? The first time I came across a photo of him it FCUK-ed me good & proper as he is a very appealing man until you look down to see what is missing.
But if you find someone with honour & a penis - then hold on for dear life because I suspect they are few & far between these days.
Hope life is treating you well & keep up that incredible work you do. :hug:
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:iconmasculineendeavor:
MasculineEndeavor Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013
These are interesting questions that I myself love to delve deep into. I am, you could say, almost worshiping traditional masculinity. I find it so fascinating and inspiring, and thus of course extremely attractive. That has really pushed me to become my own ideal, demeanor wise. I guess there is a risk that it becomes an "act", but then so what if you're really into it and feel comfortable in your own skin thanks to it? Not that I was at all effeminate before, on the contrary I was quite the "average joe" masculine type. But since my fascination dawned on me, it did also change me in very fundamental ways, how I walk and talk, what expressions I use in daily speech. I also embrace my male attributes like growing a beard, not caring about where I have body hair etc.

Many times, especially in the homo community, traditionally masculine men, or "straight-acting" men are often ridiculed and even accused of pretending to be something they're not. Their demeanors are often dismissed as social constructs, and that they are slaves to the social demands of society.

For being so demanding of tolerance and equal rights, the gay community sure is one internally intolerant minority. So much that in order to fit in, you need to be a certain way. Thus, I've also seen regular guys spend less than 2 weeks in the mainstream gay community before turning into lisping queens, and at least to me, every bit of manly strength and virility gone. And all I see is a shell who conforms to what is expected of him, so that he can fit in.

Some types of behavior are no doubt social constructs - effeminate, stereotypical "gay" behavior, especially so!
But no matter how much some try to deny the fundamental differences between male and female, they're there nonetheless. As men, our (generally) bulkier build make us naturally swagger when we walk, our deep voices makes us talk a certain way. The sound of our own voices resound in our heads, and I believe this affects our thought patterns as well. Or course the vice versa could be said for women and femininity.

Of course, what makes a man depends on who you ask. For example, I've gone on 1st dates with guys who describe themselves as masculine because they can change the oil on their cars, still act like bitchy queens. I've had dates with guys that no doubt lie about their demeanor only to have the purse fall out of their mouths after the first 10 minutes.

I may not be able to provide an answer that is satisfactory to everyone, what manliness is,... but I definitely know what it's not.
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:iconman-blu:
man-blu Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
I have no answer to this question either.

But it was inspired by the model who describes himself as 'straight-acting'. After working with him a couple of times & watching him closely (as we photographers are cursed to do) I realised that for him it was not an act. He had grown-up in a very conservative upbringing & didn't realise his attraction to men till later life, by which time he had become a perfect example of a 'normal' straight man. He does not need to hypermasculinize himself & has not succumbed to the camp stereotype either. He is perfectly comfortable in his own skin & for that I must confess to being a little jealous.
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:iconmasculineendeavor:
MasculineEndeavor Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Sounds like very intense experience. Just for the record I do not hypermasculinze myself. All I meant was that I truly embrace being a man, that yes, I fully recognize what you're describing. Feeling comfortable in your own skin is maybe the most valuable feeling of all. Why not take inspiration from those who truly are? ;)
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:iconfrodoprime:
FrodoPrime Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
is that the real question? or what makes the man my man?
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:iconman-blu:
man-blu Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
The man who inspired these words is not my man (God I wish!). But when I dropped him off after he modelled for me I watched him run to catch his train & his movements were so effortlessly masculine that it made me question those of us who grow-up paranoid that we do not measure-up as 'men'. So many of us are or claim to be 'straight-acting' and then there's those of us who do not need to act the part. They have grown self-assured in their masculinity with nothing to prove - and of them I suppose I am slightly jealous.
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:iconfrodoprime:
FrodoPrime Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
indeed, I can see your point -
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:iconmoreish:
moreish Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
Like this ~
However, I thought for a second that 'there's the rub' would lead the reader into something around the fact that, classically, statues were regularly looked after by being rubbed with oils & ungents, to give a patina: flesh appearance.
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:iconman-blu:
man-blu Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
Well I didn't know that - you learn something new every day. And I had deliberately chosen to make the image that inspired these words as statuesque as possible (Mapplethorpe's influence again).
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:iconmoreish:
moreish Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012
for me, there was a connection between your use of 'idol' and this? I was curious about 'statuesque-ness' in terms of the male - not much out there, at least with a very quick @ - but this came up [link]

Now I'm left wondering why 'statuesque', traditionally, is a term applied to the female form ~ and of a particular type ... anyway, I'm going to keep an eye out for your future text DAs

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