THE PHANTOM HEAD-SHAVER OF BRIGHTON (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE PHANTOM HEAD-SHAVER OF BRIGHTON (A play)
PART 2
FX: GAVEL BANGING
FLAKEY (shouting) Silence, silence in court! Oooh, what a lot
of rough we get in 'ere...
FX: DOOR OPENS
FLIPPY (triumphantly) M'Lud, stop the case, stop the case...I have
here evidence that will prove my client Nugent Skunk is
innocent! See, this hair is his...I submit it for analysis.
FLAKEY (groans) Oh my life, have we got to go through all this again??
Oy, oy, oy...orl rite...case suspended until the hair is analysed,
THE PHANTOM HEAD-SHAVER OF BRIGHTON (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE PHANTOM HEAD-SHAVER OF BRIGHTON (A play)
PART 1
LUMPY MOOSE: This is the BBC Home Service.
FX: PENNY IN MUG
LUMPY: Thank you; tonight's broadcast comes to you from
a Stench-Recuperating Centre in Stoke Poges...the
play is considered unsuitable for people.
FLIPPY BEAR: Mr Lumpy refers, of course, to the highly esteemed
Toon Show.
ORCHESTRA: 'WHO WERE YOU WITH LAST NIGHT' VERY FAST:
RAZZMATAZZ (fade off)
THE CALL OF THE WEST (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE CALL OF THE WEST (A play)
PART 3
LUMPY: Meanwhile in Dodge City, television centre of the old
West, a quack hawks his wares and wears his hawks...
whichever way is greater to the power of ten.
ORCHESTRA: BLOODNOK THEME WITH DRUM BEATING
GRAMS: INDIAN WAR-WHOOPS: BUBBLING CAULDRON:
EXPLOSION: CHICKEN CLUCKING
POP BEAR: Aughghghhh, that's done me a power of good! (Ahem)
Citizens of Dodge City, Bear's the name...Dr Pop Bear,
late of Harley Street, Twickenham; I have cured the
aristocrats of
THE CALL OF THE WEST (a play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE CALL OF THE WEST (a play)
PART 2
LUMPY: That was Max Geldray, the well-known bathroom
attendant; now, 'The Call Of The West', Part Two...
ORCHESTRA: WESTERN PLAINS MUSIC: FADE OFF
LUMPY: That night, the group in the covered wagon made camp
on the Plain of the plin plun plit plat paddywhack give a
dog a toon, Splish Splash....(gets annoyed) I tell you, I
refuse to read this rubbish...(goes off grumbling)
FX: CRICKETS CHIRPING: DISTANT HOWL OF PRAIRIE DOG
FLIPPY: I say, will all those prairie dogs never stop howling?
SHIFTY: They're
THE CALL OF THE WEST (a play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE CALL OF THE WEST (a play)
PART 1
LUMPY MOOSE: This is the BBC.
FLIPPY BEAR: Good; now, Mr Lumpy, here is that same announcement
by a midget.
GRAMS: VERY SPEEDED-UP RECORDING OF LUMPY SAYING
"THIS IS THE BBC"
LUMPY: Who's he?
FLIPPY: I'm a friend of Bert Fertanggg!
TOOTHY BEAVER: Fertanggg?
FLIPPY: Fertoonggg...
TOOTHY: Fertowwww...
FLIPPY: Friend of Bert Fertanggg...
TOOTHY: Fertanggg?
FLIPPY: Shniftuuu....
TOOTHY: Tooweeee!
DOGTANIAN OF THE CAMEL SQUADRON by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
DOGTANIAN OF THE CAMEL SQUADRON
PART 10: DOGTANIAN'S DAY OFF
Eighteen thousand feet above the tangled maze of trenches that marked one fo the great battlefields the world had known before or since, Captain Dogtanian of 266 Squadron, R.F.C., throttled back to glide down to a lower altitude, for the early autumn morning air was chilly; he turned slowly westward, searching every point of the compass as he turned, but as far as he could see the sky was empty...a frown settled on his face, for his nerves were straining under inactivity, and he longed for action to relieve the tension.
(R.F.C.; Royal Flying Corps, the forerunner of the Royal Air Force.)
For a week he had scoured the sky, sometimes with his Flight and sometimes alone, but there was no enemy air activity in the sector...and he knew the reason, for a German prisoner had told the British authorities; some of the German planes had been sent back to Germany with the task of harassing the British
DOGTANIAN OF THE CAMEL SQUADRON by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
DOGTANIAN OF THE CAMEL SQUADRON
PART 9: THE DRAGON'S LAIR
Harvey Aristide, also known as 'the Professor', touched his rudder-bar lightly with his right foot and swung outward from the leading machine of the formation in which he was flying, and which had banked steeply and unexpectedly...too unexpectedly for good formation flying; at the same time he took a swift, anxious look around the sky for the cause of the formation leader's sudden manoeuvre. It was unlike Dogtanian...who was leading a formation of three camels on an offensive patrol...to make a movement which might easily have resulted in a collision if he, the Professor, had been less alert; fortunately, his eyes had been glued on the leading machine, so the danger was averted almost as quickly as it had arisen...unable to discover the cause of the quick turn, yet knowing that Dogtanian would not make such a move unless there was an urgent reason for it, he stared hard at Dogtanian's leather-gauntleted
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play)
PART 3
LUMPY: Thank you, Disco Bear...we know you mean well; we now rejoin
'The Hastings Flyer - Robbed' inside the signal-box west of
Pevensey Bay Station...which will play a vitally unimportant
part in the story.
GRAMS: WIND
CUDDLES
RABBIT (snores)
FX: PHONE BELL RINGS
CUDDLES (spluttering) Oh strufe cor blimeystone a crow...(goes back to
sleep)
FX: PHONE BELL RINGS
CUDDLES (waking up) Ow ow ow ow...wahsat mate?
FX: PHONE BELL RINGS
CUDDLES: Cor strufe...it's the torkin' telephone, mate.
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play)
PART 2
LUMPY: That was Max Geldray, the well-known corpse; now, 'The
Hastings Flyer - Robbed', Part Two.
ORCHESTRA: RETURN TO STORY LINK
GRAMS: TRAIN CHUGGING THROUGH THE DRIVING BLIZZARD
FLIPPY: As I sat having my bath in the back of the snowplough engine,
a foul trick was played...
SHIFTY: Hands up, Flippy! Lifty, tie his hands, and then put them where
he can't find them.
FLIPPY: What a fiendish move, you naughty raccoons...I'll write to THE
TIMES about this...
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play)
PART 1
LUMPY MOOSE: This is the BBC Home Service; I would like to...
GRAMS: SHORT SHARP TRAIN WHISTLE: TRAIN CHUGS OFF
AT CARTOON SPEED
FLIPPY BEAR: Well, that got rid of him; in the meantime, here is---
THETS!!!! Yes, THETS; that's the short way of saying
The Highly Esteemed Toon Show. THETS!!!!
NUTTY SQUIRREL: Fine, fine.
GRAMS: SOLO CHINESE WOMAN SINGING HIGH-PITCHED
WAILING SONG: SPEED IT UP TO GET A HIGH
VIBRATO
SHIFTY RACCOON: Gad...how Our Gracie has changed.
TOOTHY BEAVER: Yes...I tell you
THE PHANTOM HEAD-SHAVER OF BRIGHTON (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE PHANTOM HEAD-SHAVER OF BRIGHTON (A play)
PART 2
FX: GAVEL BANGING
FLAKEY (shouting) Silence, silence in court! Oooh, what a lot
of rough we get in 'ere...
FX: DOOR OPENS
FLIPPY (triumphantly) M'Lud, stop the case, stop the case...I have
here evidence that will prove my client Nugent Skunk is
innocent! See, this hair is his...I submit it for analysis.
FLAKEY (groans) Oh my life, have we got to go through all this again??
Oy, oy, oy...orl rite...case suspended until the hair is analysed,
THE PHANTOM HEAD-SHAVER OF BRIGHTON (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE PHANTOM HEAD-SHAVER OF BRIGHTON (A play)
PART 1
LUMPY MOOSE: This is the BBC Home Service.
FX: PENNY IN MUG
LUMPY: Thank you; tonight's broadcast comes to you from
a Stench-Recuperating Centre in Stoke Poges...the
play is considered unsuitable for people.
FLIPPY BEAR: Mr Lumpy refers, of course, to the highly esteemed
Toon Show.
ORCHESTRA: 'WHO WERE YOU WITH LAST NIGHT' VERY FAST:
RAZZMATAZZ (fade off)
THE CALL OF THE WEST (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE CALL OF THE WEST (A play)
PART 3
LUMPY: Meanwhile in Dodge City, television centre of the old
West, a quack hawks his wares and wears his hawks...
whichever way is greater to the power of ten.
ORCHESTRA: BLOODNOK THEME WITH DRUM BEATING
GRAMS: INDIAN WAR-WHOOPS: BUBBLING CAULDRON:
EXPLOSION: CHICKEN CLUCKING
POP BEAR: Aughghghhh, that's done me a power of good! (Ahem)
Citizens of Dodge City, Bear's the name...Dr Pop Bear,
late of Harley Street, Twickenham; I have cured the
aristocrats of
THE CALL OF THE WEST (a play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE CALL OF THE WEST (a play)
PART 2
LUMPY: That was Max Geldray, the well-known bathroom
attendant; now, 'The Call Of The West', Part Two...
ORCHESTRA: WESTERN PLAINS MUSIC: FADE OFF
LUMPY: That night, the group in the covered wagon made camp
on the Plain of the plin plun plit plat paddywhack give a
dog a toon, Splish Splash....(gets annoyed) I tell you, I
refuse to read this rubbish...(goes off grumbling)
FX: CRICKETS CHIRPING: DISTANT HOWL OF PRAIRIE DOG
FLIPPY: I say, will all those prairie dogs never stop howling?
SHIFTY: They're
THE CALL OF THE WEST (a play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE CALL OF THE WEST (a play)
PART 1
LUMPY MOOSE: This is the BBC.
FLIPPY BEAR: Good; now, Mr Lumpy, here is that same announcement
by a midget.
GRAMS: VERY SPEEDED-UP RECORDING OF LUMPY SAYING
"THIS IS THE BBC"
LUMPY: Who's he?
FLIPPY: I'm a friend of Bert Fertanggg!
TOOTHY BEAVER: Fertanggg?
FLIPPY: Fertoonggg...
TOOTHY: Fertowwww...
FLIPPY: Friend of Bert Fertanggg...
TOOTHY: Fertanggg?
FLIPPY: Shniftuuu....
TOOTHY: Tooweeee!
DOGTANIAN OF THE CAMEL SQUADRON by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
DOGTANIAN OF THE CAMEL SQUADRON
PART 10: DOGTANIAN'S DAY OFF
Eighteen thousand feet above the tangled maze of trenches that marked one fo the great battlefields the world had known before or since, Captain Dogtanian of 266 Squadron, R.F.C., throttled back to glide down to a lower altitude, for the early autumn morning air was chilly; he turned slowly westward, searching every point of the compass as he turned, but as far as he could see the sky was empty...a frown settled on his face, for his nerves were straining under inactivity, and he longed for action to relieve the tension.
(R.F.C.; Royal Flying Corps, the forerunner of the Royal Air Force.)
For a week he had scoured the sky, sometimes with his Flight and sometimes alone, but there was no enemy air activity in the sector...and he knew the reason, for a German prisoner had told the British authorities; some of the German planes had been sent back to Germany with the task of harassing the British
DOGTANIAN OF THE CAMEL SQUADRON by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
DOGTANIAN OF THE CAMEL SQUADRON
PART 9: THE DRAGON'S LAIR
Harvey Aristide, also known as 'the Professor', touched his rudder-bar lightly with his right foot and swung outward from the leading machine of the formation in which he was flying, and which had banked steeply and unexpectedly...too unexpectedly for good formation flying; at the same time he took a swift, anxious look around the sky for the cause of the formation leader's sudden manoeuvre. It was unlike Dogtanian...who was leading a formation of three camels on an offensive patrol...to make a movement which might easily have resulted in a collision if he, the Professor, had been less alert; fortunately, his eyes had been glued on the leading machine, so the danger was averted almost as quickly as it had arisen...unable to discover the cause of the quick turn, yet knowing that Dogtanian would not make such a move unless there was an urgent reason for it, he stared hard at Dogtanian's leather-gauntleted
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play)
PART 3
LUMPY: Thank you, Disco Bear...we know you mean well; we now rejoin
'The Hastings Flyer - Robbed' inside the signal-box west of
Pevensey Bay Station...which will play a vitally unimportant
part in the story.
GRAMS: WIND
CUDDLES
RABBIT (snores)
FX: PHONE BELL RINGS
CUDDLES (spluttering) Oh strufe cor blimeystone a crow...(goes back to
sleep)
FX: PHONE BELL RINGS
CUDDLES (waking up) Ow ow ow ow...wahsat mate?
FX: PHONE BELL RINGS
CUDDLES: Cor strufe...it's the torkin' telephone, mate.
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play)
PART 2
LUMPY: That was Max Geldray, the well-known corpse; now, 'The
Hastings Flyer - Robbed', Part Two.
ORCHESTRA: RETURN TO STORY LINK
GRAMS: TRAIN CHUGGING THROUGH THE DRIVING BLIZZARD
FLIPPY: As I sat having my bath in the back of the snowplough engine,
a foul trick was played...
SHIFTY: Hands up, Flippy! Lifty, tie his hands, and then put them where
he can't find them.
FLIPPY: What a fiendish move, you naughty raccoons...I'll write to THE
TIMES about this...
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play) by MammalSpiesRuleOK, literature
Literature
THE HASTINGS FLYER - ROBBED (A play)
PART 1
LUMPY MOOSE: This is the BBC Home Service; I would like to...
GRAMS: SHORT SHARP TRAIN WHISTLE: TRAIN CHUGS OFF
AT CARTOON SPEED
FLIPPY BEAR: Well, that got rid of him; in the meantime, here is---
THETS!!!! Yes, THETS; that's the short way of saying
The Highly Esteemed Toon Show. THETS!!!!
NUTTY SQUIRREL: Fine, fine.
GRAMS: SOLO CHINESE WOMAN SINGING HIGH-PITCHED
WAILING SONG: SPEED IT UP TO GET A HIGH
VIBRATO
SHIFTY RACCOON: Gad...how Our Gracie has changed.
TOOTHY BEAVER: Yes...I tell you
I have one more chapter of 'Dogtanian Of The Camel Squadron' after the one I'm currently working on, after which I'm hoping to at least get a bit further with 'Oliver Twist Meets Anastasia'...well, that's the plan, anyway...