Literature
Finding the Thread
[DEVIATION]
I learned to bury longing deep,
where no clean morning ever reached,
beneath the names that bruised my mouth,
beneath the body I was preached.
Shame did not knock. It lived inside,
a tenant in the bedroom wall,
and every mirror kept a face
I could not bear to call at all.
There were dresses dark as weather,
silk like rain on funeral stone,
and every color I reached toward
made me more visible, more alone.
I walked the edge of who I was,
a cliff disguised as ordinary floor,
with every step a hollow prayer,
with every breath a locked door.
Transition was no shining road,
no hymn, no sudden break of dawn,
but crawling through the ruined house
of everything I had put on.
Some nights I still lose track of me,
still haunt the years I could not name,
and tenderness, if it appears,
arrives with dirt beneath its flame.
So if I wander, let me wander
through the ash I used to own;
let every thread I once concealed
be stitched from shadow into bone.
![Track [1]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/ba9dfe20-b96f-4b3e-8a10-be10dc6b05c8/da3j4pb-00b6c276-eb9f-408f-9ab0-b1f30e132825.jpg/v1/crop/w_184,h_184,x_15,y_0,scl_0.053240740740741,q_70,strp/track__1__by_the_orient_express_da3j4pb-92s-2x.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.Xw_Ui3VpREP-JRHeei8bR8--sRQrDbBJiA7EYY3WMHA)
![Track [1]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/ba9dfe20-b96f-4b3e-8a10-be10dc6b05c8/da3j4pb-00b6c276-eb9f-408f-9ab0-b1f30e132825.jpg/v1/crop/w_92,h_92,x_8,y_0,scl_0.02662037037037,q_70,strp/track__1__by_the_orient_express_da3j4pb-92s.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.Xw_Ui3VpREP-JRHeei8bR8--sRQrDbBJiA7EYY3WMHA)
![Garden Railway [4]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/ba9dfe20-b96f-4b3e-8a10-be10dc6b05c8/d9tr4rr-dd84742b-98f1-44c0-a490-8e3c6b1264be.jpg/v1/crop/w_184,h_184,x_0,y_15,scl_0.053240740740741,q_70,strp/garden_railway__4__by_the_orient_express_d9tr4rr-92s-2x.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.51T6DsZjhq3ag0jd4V1ATUpImiqcmzJ2VGPCuQF0IWk)
![Garden Railway [4]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/ba9dfe20-b96f-4b3e-8a10-be10dc6b05c8/d9tr4rr-dd84742b-98f1-44c0-a490-8e3c6b1264be.jpg/v1/crop/w_92,h_92,x_0,y_8,scl_0.02662037037037,q_70,strp/garden_railway__4__by_the_orient_express_d9tr4rr-92s.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.51T6DsZjhq3ag0jd4V1ATUpImiqcmzJ2VGPCuQF0IWk)
![Garden Railway [2]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/ba9dfe20-b96f-4b3e-8a10-be10dc6b05c8/d9tr4np-e141db9f-de5a-4d1e-9220-2a1476a5b78b.jpg/v1/crop/w_184,h_184,x_15,y_0,scl_0.053240740740741,q_70,strp/garden_railway__2__by_the_orient_express_d9tr4np-92s-2x.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.QeqdpY3qdeD_KsQoO99Sk4GQkRQ2kORXlivW6pa61K4)
![Garden Railway [2]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/ba9dfe20-b96f-4b3e-8a10-be10dc6b05c8/d9tr4np-e141db9f-de5a-4d1e-9220-2a1476a5b78b.jpg/v1/crop/w_92,h_92,x_8,y_0,scl_0.02662037037037,q_70,strp/garden_railway__2__by_the_orient_express_d9tr4np-92s.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.QeqdpY3qdeD_KsQoO99Sk4GQkRQ2kORXlivW6pa61K4)
