Deviation Actions

Malintra-Shadowmoon's avatar

Literature Text

Luminous leaves designate the autumn.
So winter follows it with ice-clear air.

When the worlds touch each other,
Eternity silently opens
Its doors and we feel
That the dark time begins.

All the restless souls
Pour in from the Otherworld,
With singing from dead throats,
To the light that illuminates them.

Call the soul on the journey.
Free of pain and anxiety in this night
We dance with the ancestors
Until the soul awakens.

We listen, hear, how they sing,
Do we hear this different sonority?
Voices full of melancholy sound
A beguiling song.

The night spirits dance
Till the air vibrates.
Until the end, the dark,
Gives birth to the new.

In the pale moonlight
Paths open up,
Lead into
The innermost heart.

Samhain - Celebration of the turn of the year:
Let us not fear the darkness.
We line the ancestral path with candles,
Lead them to our light.

Tomorrow we will wake up,
To start a new fire and
Go strengthened
Into the dark silence.
Contribution to :iconelysian-mark:'s Celtic Samhain Festival Contest, Link Celtic Samhain Festival Contest - (Deadline Ext!)

Samhain is the time when the veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead is thinnest and they can get in touch together. It also is a moon feast and the darker time of the year begins as the opposite of Beltane, so to speak as a Ying and Yang.
A got a little inspiration from a sequel I started to rewatch (Outlander) and explicitely the beginning with the stone circle and the entrance into the past ... was a good impetus for the poem.
© 2019 - 2021 Malintra-Shadowmoon
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
ThornyEnglishRose's avatar
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

First off, please ignore the stars. I give everyone three for everything because I do not like and cannot effectively utilise the star system. I hope you don't mind. Now, to the point.

I was drawn to this because the title and first lines promised something atmospheric and haunting, exploring those classic seasonal/emotional/spooky themes that I love, and it did not disappoint. What I like about this is – well, all those things I just said!

Just a couple of small suggestions. I'm not absolutely sure what you mean by 'designate the autumn'; might there be a clearer verb you could use to get the poem off to a confident start? Personally, I feel that what follows is all much stronger.

'Its doors and we feel/That the dark time begins'; I thought the line break might be better as 'Its doors and we feel that/The dark time begins', perhaps giving more impact to that last line, and one could even read something into 'we feel that' (though this was not my first thought and might be a silly one!).

I particularly love the third stanza. Ditto the seventh. Great work.

This critique brought to you by Van Sledden. Merry Critmas!
satellitenotes's avatar

What a beautiful, mystical and eerie poem

I felt myself following you into the dark forest and witnessing this spectacle with awe and wonder

Lovely poem

" With singing from dead throats "

I love this line as well

atram95's avatar
That’s Awesome!!
clara-01's avatar
A very beautiful poem, as usual! :hug:  Good luck, and thank you! :heart: