Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login

Mature Content

This content is intended for mature audiences.


or, enter your birth date.*


Month

Day

Year*
Please enter a valid date format (mm-dd-yyyy)
Please confirm you have reviewed DeviantArt's Terms of Service below.
* We do not retain your date-of-birth information.
The Road We Choose – Pt. VI

Author: The Magic Rat
Rating: PG
Pairings: Numerous. Some even make sense.
Warnings: Adults behaving like kids.
Word Count:
Website – Ex Libris:  www.winter-wood.net/ex-libris/…
Live Journal: delaese.livejournal.com/profil…

Disclaimer: All Final Fantasy Seven characters, places and situations are the property of Square Soft/Square Enix and are used without permission and without intent of plagiarism or profit. Metalocalypse, the members of Dethklok, and lyrics to Dethklok songs belong to Brendon Small, Cartoon Network and Turner Music. Copyright for all stories and original characters such as Badger the Roadie is with the author, and may not be published, copied, distributed or archived without the author's prior written consent.

Summary: Sephiroth and Aeris discover their inner sibling rivalry, and Barret and Genesis have fun.

Author’s notes: Sorry this took so long – life keeps insisting on being stoopid at me.




“Tifa?”

“Aeris! Where are you? Are you all right?”

Aeris pushed her hair out of her face and nodded, forgetting briefly that Tifa could not see the motion over the phone.

“Yes, I’m fine, I’m just… calling everyone to say I’m sorry and I hope you are all still speaking to me.”

“Of course we are!” Tifa chided gently. “It wasn’t your fault. It would be different if you had just… you know… run off. But it wasn’t your choice. The monster made you go.”

“He didn’t make me sleep around on my husband.”

Tifa sighed loudly. “Aeris I know I have a reputation as the ‘Queen of De-Nile’ but Tseng was dead. He only had a heart beat because he was hooked up to machines that made it pump. You can’t fool around on a dead husband.”

“I know, that’s what Tseng says, but I just can’t forgive myself, especially after all this…”

“Aeris?”

“Yes?”

“I’m finally pregnant so stop whining.”

Aeris rolled her eyes. “You’re just a well of compassion.”

“When are you coming home?”

“I’m not sure.” Aeris looked around, suddenly realizing she didn’t see Sephiroth. “And I’m missing a tiger. Well he can’t have gone too far, it’s raining.”

She rose from the bed and walked over to the window, moving aside the curtains to peer out into the early morning, the mountain shrouded in fog that seemed to make the sky meet the ground, the dark green of the mossy rock fading into grey. The rain was falling steadily, rushing off the roof and into the eaves, then out the downspout to form a shower. Aeris drew a slow gasp as she saw what was out there.

“Tifa?”

“Yes?”

“I’m going to send you a photo.”

“Okay…” Tifa agreed warily.

Aeris took the photo. Outside in the rain, Sephiroth was standing naked under the downspout, casually washing in the cold water, his long white hair clinging to his perfect flesh, clumps of soapy bubbles sliding over the elegant curves and lines of his body. Moments later Tifa squeaked.

“AERIS!”

“Hey I didn’t make him go out there.”

“He didn’t make you take his picture either!”

Aeris took another. “That is a beautiful man. Wow. Wonder how much Zack charges for stud fees?”

“You don’t have that much money.”

“He’s incredible! Like breathing art! Let’s see if I can catch him…. There. Last one.” Aeris stepped away from the curtain. “Wonder what naked photos of Sephiroth go for?”

“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. You know if he found out you were watching him bathe…”

The door opened, and Sephiroth stepped into the room; soaking wet, stark naked, and entirely undisturbed by Aeris’ presence.

“There’s a naked man in my cabin,” said Aeris.

He flicked his long, soaking-wet hair. “Cold rainwater is good for the complexion.”

“Then why is it such work to get you out in it?” asked Aeris.

“I don’t like being rained on.”

“Well that makes good nonsense,” muttered Aeris. “Tifa says hello by the way.”

“Tell her she’s not allowed to show those nude photos you took of me to anyone.”

Aeris’ eyes grew large. “How did you know?!”

He looked over his shoulder at her. “I didn’t.”

Aeris rolled her eyes. “Tifa I’ll have to call you back, I think Sephiroth is going to make me sit in the corner and think about my behaviour.”

“Tell him he’s wasting his time.”

Aeris ended the call, then looked to the tall man drying himself with a towel. She didn’t mind the view at all.

“So is Tseng coming for me?”

“Yes, but we will be walking to the open field two miles back. He will be here in four hours. In the meantime I am going to dress and investigate that reactor.”

“Not alone! I’m going too!”

He looked over his shoulder at her. “And do what?” he asked sweetly.

“Don’t take that tone with me. We both have reason to fear spooky old Shinra reactors.”

He tossed his head, flinging drops of water all over her, then walked into the bathroom to where he had left his clothes and began dressing.

“That may well be, but…”

“And you’re a warrior! You know better than to go into a place alone!”

“I also know better than to drag along a civilian!”

“Sephiroth…” she rose from her seat at the window and walked into the bathroom. He had his pants on and was slowly buckling up those thigh-high boots. She was really going to have to get Tseng a pair of those. She shook her head to get her brain back on track.

“I don’t think it is a good idea for you to go in there alone. What if you… get upset?”

“And what exactly will you be able to do about it?”

She glared at him angrily. “Nothing. But I’m going anyway. You’re not the only one who suffered at the hands of the old president. I may not be a warrior but I’m not helpless either!”

“Aeris if I go into that reactor and, “get upset” as you so delicately put it, the only thing you will be able to do about it is squeak in horror as I dismember you. And that would upset both Zack and Tseng.”

She crossed her arms. “And it wouldn’t bother you that you killed me?”

“Aeris… I don’t recall much from before I went mad. But I do recall an entitled little girl who thought it was cute to play with the emotions of people I call friend, and who boasted about how she was “used” to danger and how she had out-smarted every Turk the Shinra company had.”

She stared at him, hurt and angry. “I’m not like that anymore.”

“I wonder. I wonder how badly you would want to go into that reactor had the Turks not given you a false sense of infallibility.”

“And just how infallible are you, MIS-ter Sephiroth?”

“I know what we are walking into. You don’t.”

“And someone has to be on hand to report back to the others if something happens to one of us!”

The wings came out and the eyes blazed as Sephiroth straightened up. “I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT I WILL WALK THREE STEPS INTO THE REACTOR AND GO MAD!”

“AND I RESENT THE FACT THAT YOUR WHOLE OPINION OF ME IS BASED ON STUFF I DID TWENTY YEARS AGO! AND WHILE WE’RE DREDGING UP THE PAST, YOU STOLE MY BOYFRIEND!”

“I DID NOT STEAL HIM! I TOLD HIM HE HAD TO CHOOSE BECAUSE I WAS NOT TAKING SLOPPY SECONDS FROM SOME TART! HE DUMPED YOU!”

“DUMPED ME?! HE DUMPED ME?! HE DUMPED ME AND HE DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME?!”

“I’M SURE HE WOULD HAVE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY AROSE!”

“WHY WOULD HE DUMP ME?!”

“PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WERE SNIFFING AFTER THE CROTCH OF ANYTHING WITH A PENIS YOU COULD FIND!”

“I WAS NOT! I AM NOT A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re no more human than I am. Grow up.”

He walked past her, leaving her gaping like a fish, body rigid with indignity, fists clenched. She sputtered as she tried to think of something to say, briefly considering calling down the rain on him. The problem with that was no matter how mad she got, he could match it. He was right – they were not human. He had been once, but not now, and she was an Ancient, a survivor of an extinct race. And not a pure survivor, either. Her bloodline was thoroughly watered down.

“I am too more human than you!” she finally managed.

Sephiroth tossed his hair, fluttering his long lashes at her. “At least my first time with Zack, I was a virgin.”

“DIE!”

She snatched up a dish cloth and began flogging him with it. He got it away from her and dangled it far above her head, forcing her to jump for it. Vexed well beyond the point of caring, Aeris gave into her initial instincts and called down the rain. Things were on the verge of a full-blown brawl when the door opened and Tseng stepped inside. He stared at the ruckus, then cleared his throat.

“I can come back later…”

Aeris forgot about Sephiroth and pounced on her husband, bursting into tears.

“I missed you so baaaaaad!”

“I missed you too, but… what are you two up to?”

Aeris pointed at Sephiroth, who was preening himself, drying off after the magic rain fall. “He said I had a false sense of my own infallibility!”

“Well… you do tend to think you are capable of more than you actually are. But I didn’t fly all the way up here to argue about who can do what. Are you all right? I missed you…”

“I’m so sorry!” she said, breaking down as she held him. “It wasn’t me who wrote that note. It was the creature…”

“Yes, we know,” said Tseng quietly. “You have nothing to apologize for. You’re here and you’re safe, that’s all that matters…”

“You’re early,” said Sephiroth. “Where’s the helicopter?”

“Parked in the field. Rufus sent me up early to get a look at the plant after a strange man was sighted in his garden last night. We think it might have been Palmer.”

“I thought that fat moron was hit by a truck,” said Sephiroth.

“He was,” said Tseng. “Sadly it was apparently not fatal. Come. Let’s go look… Aeris where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going to get a look at that reactor and you can’t stop me.”

“Aeris,” said Tseng wearily.  “It could be very dangerous.”

She turned to face him. “Look you have no idea what it was like in those labs, I…”

He stared at her with black eyes colder than the new moon in winter, and she stopped talking. He did know. He was one of Hojo’s victims too. After Sephiroth had cut him in the Temple of the Ancients on that mad quest to destroy the planet, there had been no one else capable of putting him back together. After she left him to die, that is…

“Okay,” she said softly. “We all know. But sticking me back here makes no sense when I have the ability to cast healing magic. If you two big brawny he-men get your butts kicked I can help.”

“All right,” said Tseng. “But be careful.”

***---***

Tseng and Aeris crouched in the grass beside Sephiroth’s large body. Together they gazed at the now-silent mako reactor.

“I didn’t see anyone leave,” said Aeris.

“No,” said Sephiroth. “It is possible whoever is operating the plant is also living in it, so to draw as little attention as possible. Foot traffic would be noticed.”

Aeris looked up at him. “But why activate it? Who would be buying the power it generates?”

“It may not be making power. It could be doing something much, much different.”

“You mean making monsters?”

“It is possible, yes.”

“Let’s go see!”

She started forward, and was stopped by a hand on her ponytail.

“Ow!”

“Aeris… do you even possess a survival instinct?”

“I wanna know what they’re up to!”

“As do I, but we are not going to learn anything barging in the front door, we are going to be caught. And if they have brains enough to hide what they are doing then they may have guards armed with Halcinol.”

“I’ll go in first,” said Tseng. “Espionage is what I’m trained for. You two sit back here. I’ll be back in a few minutes. You two behave, and no killing each other.”

“He started it,” said Aeris, pointing at Sephiroth.

“Aeris…” said Tseng wearily, “do not annoy the six hundred pound super-warrior. Sephiroth, do not kill my wife even if she asks for it.”

Aeris stuck her tongue out at him. Tseng grabbed it, then gave her a kiss before slinking off in the long grass, slowly approaching the reactor. A cold wind blew, and Aeris shivered.

“It’s so quiet,” she said quietly. “And look at the reactor; it looks like no one has been there in ages. But we both smelled the stink, didn’t we? That was mako.”

“It was,” he said softly. “But there may be another door, one hidden from view. Tseng will find it. A man does not reach his position without being very good at what he does.”

“I never knew you held him in such high esteem.”

Sephiroth watched Tseng creep through the grass. “I’d do him.”

Aeris smacked him. “You can’t have him. And if you try, I’ll tell Zack.”

He glared at her. “Smack me again and I shall rearrange your limbs into some semblance of a bi-plane’s wings then throw you off the cliff to see if you can fly.”

“Oh I’d like to see you try you…”

Aeris would never be sure what he did, or how he did it. All she knew was suddenly she was lying on her face, her left hand tied to her right ankle, her right hand tied to her left ankle, and her hair ribbon wrapped around her face to form a gag.

Oh she was going to get him for this….

***---***

The door of the truck cab opened, and Genesis got in with a swirl of lace and velvet, accompanied by a cloud of perfume. Barret nearly unrolled the window to escape the floral fumes, but then remembered it was snowing. Genesis tossed his hair back.

“I want to thank you for taking me to my appointment. With Zack sick and Sephiroth off seeking Aeris, there’s no one to watch the kids while Angeal takes me, and I can’t drive. Well I can it’s just not a good idea what with the migraines and the vomiting.”

“Well I was in the neighbourhood,” said Barret, which was true. His work took him all over. He just wasn’t sure why he had agreed to do this, other than it was something he was soon going to be facing with Tifa. However Tifa tended to be far less… informative… than Genesis.

“Dr. Gaywell wants to know why I’m throwing up so much. She also wants a look at my cervix since it’s been years since I last was pregnant and then there will be some blood tests and then I have to go on some drugs that will calm down my system because apparently even though I’m pregnant I’m still ovulating.”

Yup. Tifa was WAY less informative.

“And last night I passed some blood clots.”

“Really,” said Barret.

“Well I’m the prettiest so of course I’m the most difficult as well.”

Barret grinned. He liked Genesis. He didn’t like his perfume addiction or his endless quoting of ‘Loveless’, and he could do without the information overload, but for the most part he liked Genesis. There was something endlessly amusing about his prattling. He glanced at the lethal little bubble-brain.

“We gotta pick up some of my co-workers. That okay with you?”

“Well it’s your truck, if you want it smelling of coal miners then that’s your business.” Genesis dripped a few more drops of perfume onto himself, then gave Barret some for good measure.

“Hey! I can’t be goin’ ‘round smellin’ like no First Class!”

“Oh stop your fussing, this stuff is very expensive. Where will your friends be sitting, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“There’s seats behind us in the cab. Don’t worry, I ain’t putting you in the back.”

“You’d better not, I am not giving birth to a snowbaby.”

“What are you two hoping to have?” asked Barret.

“Angeal says he doesn’t care as long as it’s healthy. I’d like a girl. What about you?”

“Well we have Marlene so we’d like a boy. One of each. Tifa’s real excited.”

“Well she’s waited a long time,” said Genesis. “I’ll be thrilled if I just don’t start to rot.”

Barret glanced at him. “Rot?”

Genesis managed a small smile, casting a glance at Barret. “I’m a failed experiment; strong yet oddly fragile. Like tempered glass. If you hit me just right, I shatter. The smallest cut and I start to degenerate. It’s another reason Angeal and I did not want any more children, in case I began to come apart. We were not counting on Hojo’s little time-bomb in my uterus.”

Barret shook his head. “Damn…”

“Did you not know?”

“No,” said Barret. “I’m sorry. If that does start to happen, what… what can you do about it?”

“Not much,” said Genesis. “Get used to living in a basket once more. Get used to taking expensive medications once more. Try not to worry or I could fall to pieces. Oh, while I’m thinking about it…”

Genesis took a piece of paper from his pocket and gave it to Barret, who chanced a brief glance at it.

“Brittle gold? You can buy this stuff anywhere. Go to a craft shop, buy a pound.”

“No I need it fresh from the earth,” said Genesis, “and it’s almost impossible to find that way. Most people process it into glitter. I need it the way it comes out of the ground, with the chemical compound complete.”

“What good is it?” asked Barret. “The only use anyone ever found for it is making sparkles. Can’t process it into anything else without mixing it into a resin or adding it to alloy, and even then it’s just decorative.”

“Angeal and I found that, in its raw form, ground up and added to food it helped to slow the degeneration. I have no idea why, I do not care why, if it keeps me from becoming a crippled mess I will eat rocks, thank you.”

“Okay, I know where I can dig up a few pounds.”

“Thanks, Barret.”

The big man shrugged. “Like Tifa always says – we’re family. Gotta look out for each other. Whoops. Need gas. I’ll pull over at the next station.”

Genesis gave him a sidelong look. “Did you hear about the fellow who robbed the art museum not long ago?”

“No. What happened?”

“Well he managed to break in and steal several very valuable masterpieces, but was caught only a few blocks from the museum when his van ran out of gas.”

“Jackass,” said Barret. “How do you go through all the trouble of planning a heist an’ don’ put gas in the van?”

“That was what the police said,” said Genesis. “And the man replied that was why he had taken the paintings in the first place! He simply did not have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh!”

Barret sagged against the steering wheel, groaning. “Genesis… that was awful.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m surprised you had De Gaulle to say that,” said Barret.

Genesis tossed his hair. “Well I figured I had nothing Toulouse. You know I find it very disturbing that only you and Cid get my jokes.”

“Don’t Vincent get them?”

“It’s hard to tell, he usually just stares at me and then shuffles away muttering something about never understanding why he left the coffin. Oooh look, big burly men are waving us over.”

“Those are my friends, you be good.”

“If I was single I’d show them how good I can be,” Genesis purred.

“Y’know you might find this hard to believe, but not every man on the planet finds you hot.”

“Well I had to leave some for the lesser folk.”

“Jackasses,” grumbled Barret. “Up to my ears in jackasses.”

They pulled over to the side of the road, the tires of Barret’s truck crunching over the mixture of gravel and snow as they left the asphalt. The passenger side door was pulled open, and there stood three enormous men, covered in chalky white dust. Genesis froze, no doubt envisioning his velvet and lace being covered in the stuff. He stared at the men, who stared back. Barret winced and hoped his friends didn’t choose now to reveal they were homophobic jerks, but the longer the silence went on, the more he began to suspect his friends had no idea that Genesis was a man. When one man reached a gnarled and scarred hand up to help the dainty little thing out of the cab, Barret knew they had no idea the tiny pretty thing draped in velvet and lace and perfume was a man. Genesis accepted the hand and stepped out of the truck cab; he would need to move to allow these three into the back. However he didn’t seem to mind the attention at all.

“Are you Tifa?” the man asked.

“That ain’t Tifa,” said Barret. “That’s Genesis, a friend of the family. Gen that’s Barney, Alec, and Rick. Tifa’s taller with longer hair.”

Rick was staring at Genesis with large shining eyes. “Please tell me you’re single,” he said.

Alec slapped him on the back. “That’s great, Rick, real subtle. Besides, she’s clearly not your type. She’s too pretty.”

“Why don’t we find a nice place to go for a walk while the kids fight?” said Barney to Genesis.

“Sorry boys,” said Genesis. “Married and pregnant. And my husband doesn’t like me going for walks with strange men.”

The word “pregnant” seemed to be the key to getting Barney and Alec to back off – pretty girls were all well and good but not when they came with another man and another man’s baggage. Barret watched as his friends went from pick-up artists to big brothers – making sure Genesis stayed warm for the few moments he was outside of the truck… because of course he would freeze to death otherwise. Barret just rolled his eyes as his three friends made idiots of themselves fussing over the tiny pretty little red-head. At last the three enormous men were jammed into the back of the cab, and Genesis was perched prettily on the huge seat.

“So how’s your relationship going?” asked Rick, clearly coming to the conclusion that Genesis was just too pretty to brush off. “Are you keeping the baby? Like… are you gonna stay pregnant?”

Genesis slowly turned his head and fixed Rick with a look that caused Barney and Alec to quietly cower into their seats. Barret suddenly became very interested in searching for a gas station.

“I am keeping both the baby and the husband,” said Genesis, his voice pure ice.

“Well it was just a question,” Rick mumbled.

“Try to be kind to him,” said Barney to Genesis. “We caught him sniffing his own boots.”

“We hired him because we had too few miners with an IQ under 12,” said Alec.

“It was just a question!” said Rick defensively.

Alec stared at him. “Rick at what point in life did you decide it was okay to ask a woman you literally just met if she was gonna keep her husband’s baby?”

Barney patted Genesis on the shoulder. “It’s okay honey, you can punch him if you like.”

Barret glanced at Genesis. “Don’t you dare! I don’t need a big mess all over my seats!”

“You’re no fun,” said Genesis.

“Jes’ go quote ‘Loveless’ at him or something. Don’t be punchin’ people.”

“Don’t want you hurting your dainty little hands,” said Rick.

Genesis’ ‘dainty little hand’ shot out, grabbing Rick’s balls and applying enough pressure to cause excruciating pain. Rick screamed and swore and tried to yank away the offending appendage, but Genesis’ grip was solid iron. He held for at least thirty seconds of pure hell, then released Rick, leaving the huge man curled into a ball and whimpering as they pulled into a gas station. Barret stopped the truck, then looked at Genesis.

“You need anything, Gen?”

“It’s all right, Barret, I’ll get it myself, these days I never know what I want until I see it.”

Genesis hopped out of the large truck and went to the small store that adjoined the gas station. Barret remained in the cab, staring at Rick as he slowly writhed like an eel in pain.

“Glass balls?” inquired Alec dryly.

Rick managed a glare. “Her hand was like… I can’t explain it! I couldn’t get away, she wouldn’t let go!”

Barret chuckled. “Well maybe I didn’t introduce Gen properly. That was Genesis Rhapsodos, SOLDIER First Class, contemporary of Sephiroth.”

“I thought Genesis Rhapsodos was a guy!” said Alec.

Barret’s grinned widened, and Alec rolled his eyes. “Wallace you’re an asshole.”

Barney’s eyes became enormous. “That’s a man?! That little tiny pretty thing?”

Barret laughed. “That’s a man!”

There was an outbreak of good-natured rough-housing. Rick could only watch in pain.

“Wait a minute – he said he was pregnant!”

“He is,” said Barret, forcing a noogie on Alec.

“Oh how did that happen?” asked Barney, deciding Alec needed a wedgie to go with his noogie.

“How the hell do I know, do I look like some damn Shinra scientist?” said Barret. “But he is pregnant. And Rick you’re damned lucky his husband didn’t hear you say that shit, because…”

A truly enormous black motorcycle pulled up into the gas station parking lot, ridden by a very large man with long legs and broad shoulders. Barret grinned.

“Well speak of the devil.”

Angeal parked the bike, then held his arms out as Genesis darted out of the store and into his arms. Barney stared.

“That’s a big man,” he observed.

Barret released Alec, who sat up and looked. “Yup. Damned big man. Lemme guess – another First Class?”

“Yup,” said Barret. “Father of the baby in the little red-head.” He stuck his head out the window of the truck. “Hey Hewely! What did you do – just put the kids in a big bag and leave them?”

Angeal was very busy with his husband, and it was a few minutes before he answered. “Thought about it! But no, Yazzy showed up and I let him look after them so I could take Gen to the doctor.”

“Good!” said Barret. “He’s been tellin’ me things I don’t wanna hear!”

Alec watched the pair play, then said softly; “That is gonna be one bad-ass baby.”

“If it’s like their other two kids, it will be,” said Barret. “The oldest can kill with a touch. His second-born twin can raise the dead.”

Alec looked at Barret. “Can I meet... what was his name?”

“Angeal? Sure! C’mon! Barney? You coming?”

“Sure why not, I always wanted to meet a demi-god. What about you, Rick?”

“No,” said Rick,” “I’m gonna lie here and pray for my nuts to grow back.”

Barret left Rick in the truck, and brought Barney and Rick over to Angeal. As the group chatted in the parking lot, they were unaware of a man stepping out of the store, pausing briefly to look at them. He was not young, but not old, and his long blonde hair was a shaggy mess, tied back into an untidy ponytail, and his glasses, while still serviceable, were slightly bent. His clothes were clean, but very well worn, as was the green canvas pack on his back, patched with small decorative flags of other countries stitched over the rips. He watched the men chat, then smiled to himself, and resumed hitch-hiking on his way, heading slowly but surely to Costa del Sol.
The Road We Choose – Pt. VI

Author: The Magic Rat
Rating: PG
Pairings: Numerous. Some even make sense.
Warnings: Adults behaving like kids.
Word Count:
Website – Ex Libris: [link]
Live Journal: [link]

Disclaimer: All Final Fantasy Seven characters, places and situations are the property of Square Soft/Square Enix and are used without permission and without intent of plagiarism or profit. Metalocalypse, the members of Dethklok, and lyrics to Dethklok songs belong to Brendon Small, Cartoon Network and Turner Music. Copyright for all stories and original characters such as Badger the Roadie is with the author, and may not be published, copied, distributed or archived without the author's prior written consent.

Summary: Sephiroth and Aeris discover their inner sibling rivalry, and Barret and Genesis have fun.

Author’s notes: Sorry this took so long – life keeps insisting on being stooped at me.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsikesaner:
SikeSaner Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
HI SO GUESS WHO FINALLY HAS A FEW MOMENTS FOR CATCHING UP ON THIS yeah that's right, you know what that means...

PANTRY RAID = GO

“Aeris?”

“Yes?”

“I’m finally pregnant so stop whining.”

Aeris rolled her eyes. “You’re just a well of compassion.”


Lol, my sentiments exactly.

“Tifa says hello by the way.”

“Tell her she’s not allowed to show those nude photos you took of me to anyone.”

Aeris’ eyes grew large. “How did you know?!”

He looked over his shoulder at her. “I didn’t.”


GOTCHA.

Aeris ended the call, then looked to the tall man drying himself with a towel. She didn’t mind the view at all.

...Nor would I, oops.

Genesis gave him a sidelong look. “Did you hear about the fellow who robbed the art museum not long ago?”

“No. What happened?”

“Well he managed to break in and steal several very valuable masterpieces, but was caught only a few blocks from the museum when his van ran out of gas.”

“Jackass,” said Barret. “How do you go through all the trouble of planning a heist an’ don’ put gas in the van?”

“That was what the police said,” said Genesis. “And the man replied that was why he had taken the paintings in the first place! He simply did not have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh!”


I think I opened a new fault line in the earth with how hard I hit the floor at that punchline.

“I’m surprised you had De Gaulle to say that,” said Barret.

Genesis tossed his hair. “Well I figured I had nothing Toulouse.


THESE TWO...

Liking Seph and Aeris's antics, too.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013
OMG LONG COMMENTS BY SIKE MAKE RAT'S DAY SQUEE WITH HAPPY!! HUUUUUGS!! MISSED YOU!!! Thank you! Glad you liked it! Yeah I have a lot of fun with Seph and Aeris too - I'm not sure why but they always end up acting like siblings when together. It's a fun dynamic. Oh - and glad you liked my terrible art joke too.
Reply
:iconalwaysforeverdreamer:
AlwaysForeverDreamer Featured By Owner May 9, 2013
...What the heck is a snowbaby? o.O
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner May 10, 2013
He just meant he didn't want to be getting chilled while he was pregnant and having a baby made of snow as a result. :D
Reply
:iconalwaysforeverdreamer:
Okay, that makes more sense than the definition I found on Urban Dictionary. XD
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner May 10, 2013
Don't read that thing. It's not helpful and everything there is either a drug or sex reference.
Reply
:iconalwaysforeverdreamer:
Well originally I just looked for it on a search engine and a normal dictionary and came up with a lotion brand or something. O.o That didn't seem quite right either. XD
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner May 11, 2013
LOL! No he just meant he didn't want to get cold when he was pregnant for fear the baby would be made of snow. :D
Reply
:iconshadowhaloedangel:
ShadowHaloedAngel Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Student General Artist
This was great :) took me by surprise! I'd forgotten what the name of the current arc was, so this was twice the prize. Great job as always :)
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013
Thanks love!
Reply
:iconadptt12:
adptt12 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
I would love to again mention that I love you...and every chapter of your stories just makes me soooo happy
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
D'awwww.... THANK YOU! I give you snuggles now.
Reply
:iconadptt12:
adptt12 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
Your welcome...when i see an update i sometimes even jump for joy.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
LOL! Awesome.
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Name of any Blessed Goddess, **I** would pay for pictures of a naked Sephiroth washing himself under a downspout! The thought of that much perfection wet and clothing-less....makes me want to go bake! Something! (yes, I a dam to sell you and the Beavers will be unappreciative that I do!).

Can I get pictures for a tonne and a half of almond bread and cake? (sits there and grins like Nanny Ogg. Why? Because I feel like her today and Erik is draped around my shoulders like a huge furry stole!)
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Sephiroth says for all that, he will pose for you himself!
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Done! ::starts baking immediately!:: I know the recipe he likes and it can be frozen. ::first mops up all the Otter drool::
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Zack: I'll check him for otter-prints!
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
But, Darling, he's bringing home a LOT of baked goods (Home-delivered of course so your children may play with mine)....and do you honestly think I'd touch someone **that** spotless with muddy or even a slightly dusty paw? Not even an option! Besides, as tall as I am for an Otter, I still can't reach his perfectly sculpted behind. That's why I'm photographing him. :heart:
If you'd be kind enough to tell me **Your** favourite baked item, I could make some of those too!

::seriously considers opening a bakery on Gaia::
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
Zack: I'm only allowing this because I'm sick and weak and fragile. And anything with marzipan.
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Ooooooo Marzipan! I adore marzipan as well and could eat it until I get sick! I've a lovely recipe for sweet marzipan buns, a marzipan kringle, I can always add it as a layer or layers between a cake and I have connections to get a blend of marzipan tea. It's excellent. I'll send you some back with your husband once I've completed my end of the bargain. I think that should help your stomach as well, Dearest!
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
Zack: Homer Simpson noises....
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconilovwinning:
ilovwinning Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Fuckin' barret and cid...
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Huh?
Reply
:iconilovwinning:
ilovwinning Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
The only ones who get the jokes. :)
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
LOL! I just got a giggle out of the idea.
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Troll? Or just someone who wants to throw us off the fact they have no decent vocabulary? Your choice, Love.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
No no no, she's no troll. She's just a little excited. ilovwinning is nice.
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Just checking, Love. I wasn't certain of the comment myself so I reacted with haste.

My apologies, ilovwinning. I'm rather protective of the little Grey Rat. She, is after all, the other Parent of my Children and the Otterlings rather do adore her.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Doesn't that make them Ratterlings?
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Probably so but I'm not going to deal with that until I have to put them in school. They do take after me but they get a very Great deal of their Magic from you and some from me. I'm looking at the picture Animama made for me with Toki, you, I and the Children. There are 16 of them and one puddle by a very embarrassed baby.

When they start wanting to wear hats (both of us do, you a mystery carnivorous one and I silly hats while out shopping) and tend less to running in a herd then they can decide what they want to be called and Who to come and visit. Of course, they know you're right up the road anyways, Love.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
They're always welcome to the riverbank. :)
Reply
:iconfetherhdsfanfic:
fetherhdsfanfic Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
THIS WAS GREAT!! I would most definitely pay for those pics of Seph! and what a unique take on Barret. I rather liked him here. Normally he just annoys me.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
I like Barret - he's your typical Good Guy Trying to do What's Right. That also makes him a bit dull to write but he deserves some love, and I get a giggle out of the idea of him and Genesis being friends.
Reply
:iconfetherhdsfanfic:
fetherhdsfanfic Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
it made me smile. Talk about odd fellows!!
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Yup! What's more hilarious is you would never guess who is the stronger of the two.
Reply
:iconfetherhdsfanfic:
fetherhdsfanfic Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
;)
Reply
:iconfetherhdsfanfic:
fetherhdsfanfic Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
OH and I'd do Tseng too. Seph has great taste in men!!
Reply
:iconphoneix-faerie:
Phoneix-Faerie Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
these are fantastic :) i really enjoyed this!
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Thanks wee faerie.
Reply
:iconphoneix-faerie:
Phoneix-Faerie Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome
Reply
:iconlady-avalon:
Lady-Avalon Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Creepy!!!
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
:D
Reply
:iconalmath3a:
Almath3a Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
yay, more of this story! also: yay,, lazard!
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
What makes you think it's him?
Reply
:iconalmath3a:
Almath3a Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
More like hoping its him...
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
Muahahahaha.... only the Shadow knows!
Reply
:icondethklokbabe:
Dethklokbabe Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
LOLOLOL!!!!!!! Too funny!!! So can't wait for the next chapter. A bit dissapointed in Tseng's choice though...
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
Which choice in particular?
Reply
:icondethklokbabe:
Dethklokbabe Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The choice of taking her back! I think he could have found someone so much better then her.... Sorry I have a very deep dislike for people like her.
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconmagicrat: More from MagicRat


Featured in Collections

FF7 by Skye-Rhyder

FF VII Pictures and Fics by riverotter7


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
February 4, 2013
File Size
31.6 KB
Mature Content
Yes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
789
Favourites
13 (who?)
Comments
88