High Stakes Flurry - Part I

High Stakes Flurry

Part I

[Equestria, universe 1-9-9-3]

[The episode begins in Dodge Junction. Gristle, a sharply-dressed griffin holding a cane in his claw, and Easy Mark, an Earth pony wearing a barrel, are standing next to a dark green bus.]

Easy Mark: “Please! Double or nothing!”

Gristle: “All right, Mark, but remember, if youse lose this time, you'll owe me ten years of hard labor!”

[Gristle and Easy Mark play a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors with their claws/hooves. Easy Mark can only form a rock with his hoof, and Gristle forms paper with his claws.]

Gristle: “I beat you, Mark! Now get on the bus with the other losers!

[Gristle hits Easy Mark on the head with his cane three times. He then points to the bus with it.]

Gristle: “You got work to do!”

[The door to the bus opens and a pair of changelings bundle Easy Mark inside before he can get out a word of protest. The bus then drives away, creating a cloud of dust. Gristle laughs evilly, then when the dust clears, he coughs.

Gristle then takes out a clipboard of city names that have already been crossed out. He draws a line through ‘Dodge Junction’ and taps his pen against the city underneath: 'Crystal Empire'.]

The scene transitions to the Crystal Empire, where Flurry and Aphid, the former riding the matter’s back as they stroll down the city state’s promenade.]

Flurry: [in a Robert Leach impression] “One more time around the block, Bittermare.”

Aphid: “Flurry, why do I always have to play chauffeur?”

Flurry: [hugging her neck] “Cuz you’re an absolute adorable unit, that’s why. Plus… [places a cap on Aphid’s head] “Who else but the world's best little sister can pull off this look?”

[Aphid goes anime starry eyed as she gaps in awe.]

[A dark green bus suddenly zooms past them, nearly hitting them. The force sends both spinning in place.]

Flurry: “WATCH WHERE YA GOING, YA FOOL!!”

Aphid: [thinking] “Hmmm, Flurry, you noticed something weird?”

Flurry: “What? That there’s a bus driving down a promenade? Or that there’s motorized transportation at all in this world?”

Aphid: “Ehh, yeah, there that too, but what I mean is that’s gotta be the... [as she counts by pawing the ground] “... one, two, third bus we've seen! What's going on?”

[Flurry shrugs her shoulders and makes a ‘I dunno’ murmuring sound. As if on cue, yet another passing bus almost hits the sisters, earning a scowl from Flurry.]

Flurry: “And that’s the second that’s almost made us roadkill! Let’s find out what’s going on here.”

Aphid: “But don’t we have to get back with dad’s back medication?”

Flurry: [waves her hoof dismissively] “Meh, he’ll be fine. If it were so important, he should’ve got it himself. Now tallyhoe, Bittermare!”

[Aphid sighs and picks up the pace in the bus’ direction.]

[The screen transitions to the downtown Crystal Empire, where the dark green bus has pulled up in a dark alley, its engine still running. A stall has been set up nearby where a small crowd of ponies have gathered. Gristle and a top-hatted robot are standing behind the stall with a mountain of cash and personal belongings.]

Gristle: “Here's what I'm gonna do; since you've already lost everything you owned, I'm gonna let you raise the stakes a bit. Win, and you get everything back!”

[Silver Shill raises his hoof.]

Gristle: “Yes?”

Silver Shill: “We'll get everything back? But what if we lose?”

Gristle: “Ah. Well, then you'll come with me and do a little bit of work, that's all.” [Whispering to the robot] “For the rest of their lives, that is! Hee hee hee hee hee hee!”

[The robot holds up a pea between its claws before the crowd, before placing it on the wooden table. It then covers it up with one of three shells and proceeds to shuffle them at lighting speed.]

Robot: “Follow the pea, win a spree! Lose the pea and you owe me!”

[Flurry and Aphid make their way to the front of the crowd.]

Flurry: [sarcastic] “Yeah, cuz that’s totally, 100% not rigged(!)”

Aphid: “That High-Voltage Flimflammer will fleece those guys! He needs a lesson.”

Flurry: “Okay, Aphid, what have we talked about you running ahead and being a hero--" [sees Aphid has already marched ahead] "and she’s gone.”

[The robot finishes switching around the shells.]

Gristle: “Give it a try! Is the hoof quicker than the eye?”

[Gristle points to the middle shell with his cane.]

Aphid: [heard offscreen] “Not changeling eyes!”

[Aphid levitates the leftmost shell, revealing the pea underneath. Gristle and the robot both stare in shock. The ponies break out into cheering.]

Silver Shill: “Now we can get our stuff back!”

[He and the other ponies disappear into a cloud of dust, as well as everything Gristle and the robot have ‘won’. As the cloud clears, Aphid starts tapping her hoof.]

Aphid: “Okay, but this time, how bout trying to make it a challenge?”

[The robot pushes its hat forward. It switches the shells around, but Aphid’s eyes watch closely. After the shuffle ends, Aphid flicks the leftmost shell with her hoof, revealing the pea underneath. Flurry lets out a, 'Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!’ The robot stares in shock, with its eyes popping out of its head. The Flimflammer switches the shells around again, and as it does, Gristle sneaks away. Aphid watches closely, with her pupils now resembling the walnut shells. The robot finishes switching the shells, then, hoping to be able to outsmart Aphid, pulls the lever on the right side of the table, opening a trap door that the pea falls through. After the pea lands on the ground, the trap door closes.]

Aphid: “Hmmm...” [Aphid picks up the leftmost and rightmost shells with an ear-to-ear grin.] “That pea must be under the middle one, eh, Robo-chump?”

[Steam emits from the robot’s ears.]

Robot: “I'm not programmed to lose!”

[Flurry taps her hoof, leaning against Aphid proudly.]

Flurry: “Time you got with the program, then!”

[The robot explodes, creating a huge smoke cloud, and its head flies off its body. When the smoke clears, the busted head lands at the sister’s hooves.]

Flurry: [flatly] “Don’t cheat.” [Punts the head away off screen.]

[Back inside the dark green bus, a sweating Gristle reaches into his breast pocket, pulls out a cell phone and starts mashing the buttons. He holds the phone to his ear as it rings.]

Gristle: “This is Gristle. Put me through to Queen Chrysalis!”

[The screen transitions to a view in the Badlands, where various pony monument workers are operating a crane, which is lowering a block into place onto a partially constructed Sphinx. Imago is watching over them from a platform, wearing aviator shades, chewing on a stem of hay and barking at them through a megaphone.]

Imago: “Pick up the slack, you losers, and pay off your debt to Queen Chrysalis!”

[The notorious Queen of the Changelings herself is observing the construction from a distance. Decked out in a tiger skin bikini and sunglasses, Chrysalis is reclining on a lounger as she drinks a frozen pina colada, reveling in both the sun and her own self-satisfaction. A lowly changeling drone is tasked with the duty of fanning her.]

Chrysalis: “Is there anything sweeter than the sound of slave labor in the morning, nameless drone?”

Drone: “It’s 12:30 in the afternoon, your majesty.”

[Chrysalis vaporises the foolish drone to a pile of ash. She pours the rest of her pina colada on the remains. A second drone immediately takes his place and resumes fanning Chrysalis.]

Drone #2: “The cries of despair of widows and orphans, my Queen?”

Chrysalis: “Oooooh. You read my mind.”

Pupa: [offscreen] “Phone call for Queen Chrysalis! Incoming phone call for Queen Chrysalis!”

[Chrysalis’ smirk drops to a deep, sullen frown at the sound of her daughter’s grating nasally voice. She tips up her sunglasses to see Pupa flying up to her bedside, holding up a cellphone with a levitation spell.]

Pupa: [out of breath but enthusiastic] “Phone call for you, Queen Mom.”

Chrysalis: [furious] "How dare you interrupt me now! Can’t you see I’m trying to get my monument finished in time for Chrysalis Day?!”

Pupa: [flinching, contrite] “Ooh, I didn't know there wash a Chrysalish Day.”

Chrysalis: "Of course there's a Chrysalis Day! I just declared it one minute ago, in honor of myself!”

[Pupa frowns indignantly and holds the phone up to her ear.]

Pupa: “Grishle! How dare you interrupt the great Queen Chrysalish on Chrysalish Day! You oughta be ashamed! You can’t jusht—"

[Chrysalis rolls her eyes, magically takes hold of Pupa—still in the midst of scolding Gristle—and roughly shoves her against her barrel. Pupa’s voice can still be heard muffled. Chrysalis then takes over the phone, pausing for a moment as she puts on a more pleasant demeanour and magicks up a fresh frozen pina colada.]

Chrysalis: “Gristle! I take it my next busload of monument workers are on the way?”

[Chrysalis takes a dainty sip of her drink.]

Gristle: “One more bet, and I would have had em', my Queen, but they won! It was all because of—”

Chrysalis: [spits out her drink, switching back to nasty and vicious] “No excuses! You know how to cheat, so do it! I need as many workers as I can get to build my statue!”

Gristle: “Yes, ma’am, but we're gonna need better facilities!”

[Gristle looks out the bus window at the destroyed robot as he says this, which is now emitting black smoke.]

Chrysalis: “Then you'll get better facilities! Execute Plan Total Shakedown!”

[Chrysalis hangs up and pointedly hucks it at the drone's head.]

Chrysalis: [addressing Pupa] “Is--” [stops and looks around for her, only to realize she is still pressed against her barrel. She peels her off and drops her to the ground.] “Is my new casino ready?”

Pupa: [adjusting her glasses] “Um... no?”

Chrysalis: “WHAT?!! I spent a billion Chryserrands! I made it a top priority! How could my magnificent new casino not be ready?!”

Pupa: “Oh, becaush it'sh locked, and I’ve got the key.”

[Pupa pulls a key out of her purple cardigan. Chrysalis looks dryly at the audience, before steepling her hooves and taking a long, measured breath. She puts on a forced toothy smile, her whole body bristling with barely restrained fury.]

Chrysalis: [starting off sweet, becoming progressively angry] “Then you better go open it, you little cretin! You TOAD! YOU NEO-MAXI ZOOMDWEEBIE!!”

[Pupa starts flying away midway through her mother’s tirade. When she thinks she’s safely out of spittle distance, she heaves a sigh of relief and smiles.]

Pupa: “I'm doing better! She didn't call me a "four-eyed freak."

Chrysalis: [offscreen] “And make it quick, you four-eyed freak!!”

[Pupa flinches, but continues flying.]