We regret to inform you that you are hereby banned from this evening's Unbirthday party at the Unbirthday Manor in Whitetail Woods. As you are aware, our members are promised that no non-unbirthday persons shall be allowed on the premises, and, regretfully, we must uphold our promises and traditions. We ask for your understanding and cooperation in this matter.
However, we look forward to admitting you back on the premises for the morrow's party, so please, don't do anything drastic in your depression, such as, but not limited to the following: suicide, over-dosing, self-injury, illegal activities, or other such activities which would incapacitate yourself. We do, however, highly encourage you to surround yourself with the others who won't be joining us for the evening, so that you will not fall to despair.
Thank you, and good day.
Magical Trevor, President of The Unbirthday Society