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Happy Birthday Harley Quinn :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 3 0
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For the Girl Who Has Everything :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 4 0
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I'm Sorry Puddin
Joker and Harley sat on the floor of their hideout. The walls were decorated with spray painted “HAHAHAHA's”, smiley faces, and old circus posters along with other odds and ends that the two of them liked. The carpet was a strange sort of deep blue mixed with hints of purple. It has been plush at one time, but now had that typical “old” look carpet developed after long use. Harley was never sure where Joker found this bit of carpet, only that the day he came home with this rolled up piece of carpet being carried by Frost and Bob, he had been ecstatic.
Harley crossed and uncrossed her legs, grabbing her knees and rocking herself back and forth as she gazed at her puddin, who was doing his best to ignore her. He was sitting on the floor with his back to her, his arms around his knees, his bottom lip sticking out.
Harley pressed her lips together, leaning over to try to look Joker in the face. He caught a glimpse of her from the corner of his eye and quickly scoote
:iconMadloveJokerandHarls:MadloveJokerandHarls
:iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 3 0
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Tearing Into Your Soul Chapter 8 :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0
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Would You Live For Me? Chapter 6 :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 3 0
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Love is My Disease Chapter 1 :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 4 0
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Would You Live For Me? Chapter 5 :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0
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Tearing Into Your Soul Chapter 7 :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0
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I've Got You Under My Skin chapter four :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0
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Winners and Losers :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 3 0
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Tearing Into Your Soul Chapter 6 :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0
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Tearing Into Your Soul Chapter 5 :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0
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Would You Live For Me? Chapter 4 :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0
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Sploshing Good Time :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0
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Wait a Minute Mr. Postman :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0
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Tearing Into Your Soul Chapter 4 :iconmadlovejokerandharls:MadloveJokerandHarls 2 0

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Harley slipping into her hide-out exhausted, but very happy. The heist had been a blasted success! She was wearing most of what she had stolen. Several diamond necklaces, an assortment of rings with a variety of jewels in them, and she even had a few very expensive bracelets on. She had admired herself in a store mirror before blowing a hole in the wall. Granted the jewelry really didn't go well with her black and red outfit but no matter.

Batman had been nowhere in sight. Lucky her!

As she stepped in to her hide-out though, she stopped short. The place was littered with flowers!

Harley looked around cautiously and then murmured. “Mr. J? Puddin'?”

That was when the Joker jumped out wearing only a pair of boxer shorts in red,white and green vertical strips, an oversized necktie of bright yellow with red and green polka-dots and nothing else.

“Surprise!! Hahaha!!” He laughed, grinning that grin she loved so much.

“Puddin!!!!” Harley threw herself into his arms. He hugged her tightly, swinging her around the room once before setting her back on her feet. “I thought you were still in Arkham?”

Joker grinned brightly. “Well, I had to come for your birthday didn't I?”

Harley squealed happily, snuggling up against him. Joker's smile softened a little as he held her tightly.

“So are you my present?” Harley asked with a mischievous grin looking up into his dark eyes.

“Well, I'm glad I didn't go for jewelry.” Joker lifted up one of the many necklaces she had on with a smirk. “But no, my dear, I have brought you another gift besides me!”

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, Joker led her into the bedroom where she saw a stuffed bunny dressed as a clown. It wasn't any stuffed rabbit; it completely filled one section of the room and held the most beautiful mallet Harley had ever seen painted in red, black and blue with little clown skulls clearly lovingly hand painted on its surface.

Harley squealed and Joker just barely kept his feet under him as she ploughed into him. “Sugar, it's perfect!”

They both laughed. Harley kissed him, her arms tight around his neck, her legs having come up to wrap around his waist. Joker laughed cradling her rear walking her over the to bed. “I brought you some chocolates too, my pumpkin.”

He dropped her onto the bed and then like magic produced a box of expensive chocolates, the box itself only had a little singe on the corners and only a couple of drops of blood marred the gold colored box. “Oh, Puddin!!” She put her hands out, but Joker held the box out of her reach. “You want your chocolate my devious little vixen, then you need to be undressed.”

Harley giggled with a fake pout on her lips. She rose to her knees and slowly took off the jewels. Joker watched her with a smirk enjoying the show. They had not been together in weeks, and though he would never say it out loud, he had missed his little pumpkin wompkin. Giving him a coy look, Harley yanked off her top, her breasts bouncing just slightly with the quick movement. Her blue and pink pigtails bounced when she started to unbutton her shorts, slowly tugging the zipper down. Joker swallowed with appreciation, watching his lover strip. She is one hot little number, he thought with a crooked grin. And she was all his! He was one lucky clown.

She stood up on the bed to wiggle out of her shorts exposing pale, silky skin. Joker very much appreciated the way her perky breasts bounced, the flair of her hips wearing a tiny pair of red panties that settled snugly against her hips. His girl was beautiful. Joker smiled slowly, with just a hint of sinister glee letting his gaze flow over her. Oh yes, she was a prize. He loved her too, not just because of how sexy she was, but she was a brilliant criminal, just like him. What wasn't there to love in that? And she appreciated a really good joke too.

She was mostly naked, only wearing those adorable red panties. Joker crawled onto the bed using his knees. With a shove, he pushed her onto her back before straddling her hips.

Harley giggled, dropping her arms over her head gazing up at him with admiration. Her tongue came out to caress her lips, her eyes heavy with lust.

Joker opened the box before pulling out a piece of expensive chocolate and leaning down to rub it over her lips. Harley grinned, her tongue caressing the chocolate while the Joker watched with a quirked eyebrow.

“So tell me, Pumpkin, what else does my bad girl want for her birthday?” Joker pushed the chocolate between her lips with a wide grin watching her chew for a moment.

She giggled softly. “Having you here is the best birthday present, sugar bear.”

“Good answer, my cuddly villainess.” The green haired clown prince took a piece of chocolate sliding it down between her breasts, her warm skin causing the chocolate to melt just slightly leaving a sweet trail along her skin. He took the melting piece of chocolate circling each of her hard nipples causing her to mewl with pleasure.

”My turn!!” Joker tossed the box aside and started to laugh. He leaned down, using the tip of his tongue to clean the chocolate from her nipples. Harley moaned, arching her back. With a chuckle, Joker started to lick the chocolate between her breasts and down along her stomach as he decided to use his teeth to start biting his way to her panties.

She squealed. “That tickles.”

Joker chuckled, his teeth grabbed the edge of her red panties. He pulled, tugging at the cloth pushing himself backwards as he did so taking her panties with him. She lifted her hips with a squealing laugh when they tore. He ripped them when he sat up, wagging his eyebrows at her, her panties hanging from his teeth.

He spat them to the side, the slow wicked smile forming on his face which made Harley shiver with anticipation. Standing up on the bed, making the whole thing wiggle and bounce, he pushed his boxers down to his knees.

Harley squealed happily. He was long, hard and hers! She started to reach for him wanting to wrap her mouth around him, but Joker smacked her reaching hands lightly. “Not yet! It's your birthday, my little bird.”

Harley gave him her best pouty face. “Ah, Puddin!! You know I love...” But before she could finish her sentence Joker was between her legs, his long tongue moving between her folds, finding just the right spot to lick and twirl his clever, wicked tongue. Harley nearly buckled. She pushed up onto her elbows looking down at him. His eyes shot up catching hers, then he made a show to very slowly run his tongue over her clitoris, grinning the whole time. Harley squealed and came right then. He grinned even wider, tasting deeply from her. Harley's hips came up off the bed and Joker wrapped his arms around her thighs, yanking her closer working to draw out her climax a little longer. She dropped back down, but reached out to pull on his green hair, yanking hard when he made her come again right on the heels of her first climax.

He slowly let her come down before he crawled his way up to her mouth. His broad grin was contagious. Harley giggled, grabbing his pale face in her hands and kissing him deeply tasting herself on his tongue.

He growled passionately as they kissed and she could feel the heat of his erection against her, rubbing against her. “Tell me you want me, Pumpkin.” Joker nibbled on her chin.

“Oh yes, Mr. J!! I want you so badly,” Harley groaned.

He rose up onto his arms, his dark green hair a mess from her fingers and his eyes twinkled with merriment. “Tell me again, Pumpkin.” He bit her lip, pulling out her bottom lip slowly then letting her lip go. She groaned. “I want you! I want you!!”

“Hmmm...good...” He rolled her onto her side, lifting her leg. He took his erection, rubbing it against her opening, covering the head with her fluids. Harley groaned sucking on her bottom lip, whining a bit. “Mr. J!!!”

He chuckled, then with a hard thrust he buried himself deeply into her. Her body arched with a cry of pleasure. “Oh, YES!”

Joker hissed when he felt her body surround his shaft, warm, tight and wet. He wrapped his left arm around her leg holding the limb angled against his body, flipping the tie over his shoulder. His long fingers dug into her hip. He started to thrust, slow on purpose making his little Harlequin moan and writhe, wanting him to move harder, faster. She dug her fingers into the sheets, her back arched to thrust her hips closer to him. Squeezing her leg that was across his torso, Joker groaned loudly, surrendering to the feel of her.

“Grrr...damn, Harley!” Joker hissed trying to stay in control.

“Oh Mr. J!!! Joker yes!!” He looked down at her, watching when she came, her mouth open, her eyes half closed with the intensity of her pleasure. He grinned a wickedly happy smile, gazing at her. She felt so good, coming for him, the flood of liquid over his erection was too much. He let go with a snarling hiss of pleasure, releasing, thrusting deeply and smoothly into and almost out of her.

He dropped her leg, resting his hands on her hip and thigh, struggling for a moment to catch his breath. Harley rolled partway over so she could look up into his devilishly handsome face. He grabbed her leg, and staying inside her, helped her onto her back and then dropped down on his forearms. He grinned, his nose close to hers. “Happy Birthday, Pumpkin.”

Harley squealed and squirmed under him which made his eyes roll because he felt so good with her. “Best birthday ever!!!” Yanking him down, Harley covered his face in kisses making him chuckle when they both heard sirens.

“Damn it.” Joker got up with a deep groan, not wanting to separate from his lady love. He walked naked—except for his tie—to the window to pull the curtain back to look out. The police cars raced by, three of them, but they kept going. He smiled. Good. He had planned a distraction for Gotham's finest and Batman. Should keep them busy all night before they were alerted to his escape.

He turned back around to see his naked, gorgeous girl lying on the bed. She gave him a come hither look and a cute little crook of her finger. “My birthday ain't over yet, lover boy. You are going to be worn out before you go back to Arkham.”

Joker started to chuckle, then giggled, and then burst into a full body laugh as he leapt onto the bed and onto a squealing Harley.

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Harley sat behind Joker—who wore only a pair of striped boxers—with her legs around him combing his hair while he painted her toe nails. They were sitting on their bed which was loaded with stuffed toys, pillows and blankets in a wide variety of colors. Harley, who was wearing her favorite red nightie, had her back against the wall while she ran the comb through Mistah J's hair. She leaned in and kissed the back of his neck, eliciting a pleasant growl from Joker as he concentrated on painting her nails. They were both quiet, attending to their tasks when Harley spoke.

“Hey puddin, Valentine's is this week ain't it?” She ran her comb through his hair smiling, her fingers brushing some loose curling hairs back behind his ear just before she dragged her nails along the nape of his neck.

“Yes it is...” Joker murmured lazily, the feel of her fingernails against his skin, her fingers through his hair made him feel relaxed, even a little drowsy.

“We should plan a romantic date...or maybe I could fix you dinner?” Harley stopped brushing her puddin's hair and started kneading his shoulders. Joker groaned with a grin while she rubbed.

“Sure, why not!” Joker chuckled.

Harley giggled. “OOOh! I could decorate the place with hearts and pink and red ribbons!! ”

“Sure poohbear, you do that...” Joker was quiet while Harley worked her fingers down his bare back. He was thinking about Harley turning the whole hideout into a pink paradise. He made a face thinking about it, wrinkling his nose. But on the upside...the sex would be fantastic because she would be happy!! Especially if he managed to get her something really special...

This year would be his first Valentine's with Harley. It was strange—to have someone. At that moment, Joker decided that he had to get something special for her. He wasn't really sure why, (well, except for the sex) but he wanted to get something for her that would make her smile. He loved her smile, it was nearly perfect.

Then his idea morphed. He was going to take the boys shopping! It would be five-fingered, gun point discount day for Joker and his boys to get Valentine's gifts for Harley!

Bob would love it because they would all have to get something for Harley; Bob loved Harley! They would find everything they could that was pink, red and had hearts all over it! It would be the most pink, heart-filled Valentine's day EVER!

He grinned brightly at the idea thinking of how happy Harley would be...

Harley kissed his shoulder noticing the change in him. “Everything all right puddin?”

“Everything is just dandy, my sweetling!” Joker turned and pounced on her. Harley laughed wrapping herself around him. She gazed up into his insane eyes and sighed happily. She was in love, happily and manically in love. She pulled him down to kiss him. Joker giggled, his tongue snaking out to trace her lips. Harley moaned. “Come here puddin...Your Harley needs some revving up.”

Joker started giggling and whispered. “Let Daddy make you feel better poopsie...”

Harley giggled and then gasped when Joker slithered down her body, nestling between her legs where he pushed her panties aside and gently started to lick, pressing his lips against her, running his tongue in slow circles. Harley rocked her hips against his tongue, grabbing the pillow over her head.

“Ooooohhhh....” she moaned. Joker snapped the side of her panties, ripping yet another pair. Harley thought about scolding him, but she didn't really care how many pairs of her panties he destroyed.

Joker pushed himself up to rest his chin on the mound of her sex. His eyes twinkled mischievously.

“We are going to play a game my little minx.” He giggled.

Harley pushed herself up on her elbows. “A game?”

Joker nodded. “I'm going to spell something with my tongue and you have to guess what I'm spelling.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.

Harley giggled. “Okay!”

Joker slowly lowered himself back down between her legs taking a playing nip at the soft flesh of her inner thighs. Then he leaned in, his tongue dancing across her sex.

Harley gasped on the first letter. “J!”

She moaned deeply on the next letter. “O!”

She thrust her hips with a groaned, “K!”

Joker pressed his hands against her upper thighs pulling her closer while Harley groaned. “Oh E! E!”

Then she gasped, an orgasm washing over her causing her to cry out. “R!!!”

Joker giggled. “Hmm...what should I spell next? Let's find out shall we?”

With that Joker settled back between her legs brushing his nose against her teasingly grinning.

“Let's spell a really loooonnngggg word shall we?”

*

Harley was a quivering mess by the time Joker worked his way slowly up her body, dragging his tongue against her skin. “Ooohh...Mistah J...” she moaned. His tongue felt like fire against her flushed skin. When Joker rose up over her grinning brightly and his lips glistening, he winked at her. He ran the tip of his tongue over his upper lip. “Mmm...now that was fun wasn't it?”

Harley giggled. “Oh yeah puddin, that was a lot of fun!”

He grinned then jerked when Harley reached down between the and ran her hand down his length squeezing with just enough pressure to make him purr.

His eyes fluttered. Harley sighed happily, he had just the thickest, most beautiful lashes around such stunning eyes. “Mmmm...Harley....” His eyes rolled in their sockets and he smiled.

“Come here puddin...” Harley purred, directing him toward her.

He entered her slowly, inch by inch, his upper teeth pressed into his lower lips, his eyes rolling upward enjoying the tight, wet feel of her as he merged his body with hers.

“Oh Harley... pumpkin pie...” he moaned.

Harley wrapped herself around him, her kisses soft yet passionate. She didn't say she loved him because she knew he couldn't say it back, but she demonstrated her love by the tenderness of her kiss, the gentle thrusting of her hips.

Joker smoothed her hair back from her face gazing down at her, biting her lips gently, his thrusts slow and deep. He drew his thumbs over her jaw, gliding his fingers down, his hands caressing her throat. Harley stared up into his eyes, mesmerized by her mad clown. He grinned at her and rubbed his nose against hers, picking up the pace of his thrusts until he had Harley writhing under him, mewling her pleasure until, with a gasp, she cried out. “OH PUDDIN!! YES!”

Her nails bit into his back, her body arching in her climax.

Joker groaned feeling her tighten around him. He buried his face against her neck, wrapping his arms around her, pressing his body to hers when he came with a low growling moan. “Uuuhh...Harls....”

Harley held on tight feeling his release and climaxing again. “Oh Mistah J...”

He mumbled. “Harley...my Harley...”

*

Much later, Joker was curled against her, his head resting on her shoulder. Harley smiled softly gazing down at his sleeping face. He smiled even in his sleep, his lips hiding his perfect teeth, but the smile was still there. He looked so content when he slept. She ran a finger along his pointed nose before her fingers stroked through his hair, caressing the side of his face gently.

“I love you Mistah J,” she whispered.

*

The next evening Joker rolled out of bed stretching his arms over his head grinning from ear to ear. He was taking the boy's Valentine's Day shopping for his Harley.

Now...how to get away from her so she wouldn't suspect his surprise for her.

He glanced over his shoulder at his sleeping beauty. She was curled on her side, the sheets having fallen to her hips. Her pale skin glowed in the moonlight streaming through the window. His body reacted to her nakedness, wanting nothing more than to roll her onto her stomach and take her. He growled deep in his throat for a moment thinking about her sprawled under him, the sweet sound of her panting, his name on her lips. He grinned crookedly.

But then he quickly shook the thought out of his head, if he did that than he would never get out to get her Valentine's Day presents because he would want to stay here fucking her all night instead.

“Bad Joker...” he muttered to himself.

Harley rolled over with a sleepy smile on her lips. “Hey puddin whatcha doing? Come back to bed.”

“I can't my little sugar plum, Daddy has some work he needs to get done.” Joker started to walk to the bathroom just as Harley sat up. “Can I come?”

Joker turned. Harley grinned. Oh, he was naked still..she loved him naked. She could look at his pale white naked body all day.

“Ah, not this time my little clown I...uh...Bob and I have a mission that only the two of us can do.” Joker grinned.

Harley blinked in surprise. “You and Bob?”

Joker nodded. “Now stay here while Daddy and Bob get some work done and if you're good I'll bring you back some cupcakes.”

Harley squealed and clapped her hands. “Yeah!!”

*

Finally, Joker, dressed in a three-piece pin-striped purple and white suit, had slipped out with Bob and the rest of his gang, a grand total of ten devoted clowns. He had many, many more clowns at his disposal, but these were the guys who had managed to stay alive the longest and who always came when Joker called.

“Alright gents, tonight we are shopping for Harley. It's a Valentine's gift for her. I want you to find as many hearts, pink stuff and other God awful lovey things you can find! I want so much pink that it makes me want to puke! Any objections?” Joker pulled out his gun aiming it around at each man when he finished his little speech.

They all nodded their understanding. The gun wasn't really necessary, all of them were devoted to Harley. She was like the their Wendy, telling them stories and making sure they went to bed on time and in Bob's case, buying his tutus and sparkles. Joker just liked to use guns to emphasize his points was all; the gang was used to it.

“All right! Everyone go, don't get arrested and meet back here before morning!” Joker laughed throwing his arms out. The men before him scattered like leaves on the wind.

Joker chuckled. Harley was definitely going to be surprised.

*

Joker hummed while he walked down the sidewalk, twirling his cane waiting for an idea to come to him. He wanted to get Harley something fun, something special, something one of a kind! He was humming a Frank Sinatra song when he passed by a poster plastered on the side of a building. The ad was for the Gotham City Prototype Car show. The dates were for all this week. Joker stood with both hands behind his back rocking back on his heels, idling swinging his cane behind him as he looked over the poster, his smile widening.

“Something no one else has...” he murmured. Then with a giggle he leaned in close, noted the location and set off with a skip in his step.

*

When Joker approached the Gotham City convention center he saw that the place was surprisingly crowded. The center was lit up like a Christmas tree and people were milling about going in and out. Staying to the shadows Joker saw that there were several security guards located outside and there were probably several on the inside. He smiled. Perfect, he thought.

Twenty minutes later and one dead body shoved in a dumpster, Joker walked in dressed as a security guard, his hat pulled low over his face. He was walking up the stairs when one of the guards, a heavy set fellow whose name tag read “Elvis” yelled at him. “Joe! What are you doing out here, get your ass inside.”

Joker giggled and waved. “On my way!”

With that he breezed past the guards and into the showroom. The Gotham City convention center was huge, with high arched ceilings like a church and a wide, rounded floor space perfect for displaying the new concept cars, some of which would be coming out later this year.

Joker walked around whistling to himself checking out all the cars going through a mental check list...too sleek, too ugly, too...just too...but then he saw the perfect car for Harley.

It was a new Cobra 378. As Joker walked slowly around the vehicle, he stopped to read the displayed information about the car. This particular car that was on display had a 550-horsepower engine, as well as several other modern upgrades. But it wasn't that the car was a stylish convertible that was so appealing to Joker...it was that the car was painted in black and red with card diamonds on the side. On top of that, a sign that the car was here for Joker to take was that the car was called, The Harlequin.

Joker grinned. The car was begging to be stolen for Harley!! How could he not?

Joker giggled. She was going to love it. Now...now...how to get it out of here?

It only took a little bit of investigating and the asking of a few questions, but soon he learned that the keys were kept in a safe near the main offices. Joker giggled, perfect.

*

Bruce Wayne sighed. The woman on his arm, Rachael Dawes, was a childhood friend who Bruce had been dating casually, mostly to keep up appearances. She was lovely, slim with thick brown hair. She was currently wearing her hair in a side part, twisted up do that matched her elegant midnight blue evening dress. Bruce wore a complimenting blue tailored suit. They looked quite the stunning couple...too bad he was going to have to break it off with her soon. They were becoming too distant to maintain the illusion of a couple and Bruce knew she was interested in his friend Harvey Dent, which was fine by him. But for now, she had joined him here at the car show. They were both bored, Rachel bored with the cars and Bruce bored with her.

The two of them were standing near a series of illustrations and computer generated models of a Talihoo 2046 concept car by artist Hao Huang when Bruce thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned, but there was nothing and no one out of the ordinary there. Bruce frowned, he could have sworn he saw...green hair. But the

Joker would not be here...would he? Rachel sighed. “Bruce I'm going to go track down one of those waiters with the wine. Be right back.” Bruce grunted letting her go.

He stood still, surveying the crowd. That was when he caught sight of a security guard moving to the back doors that led to the offices of the convention center. The man wasn't doing anything unusual, but there was something about his movements that had attracted Bruce's attention, and he looked particularly pale.

The guard opened the doors and slipped through disappearing. Bruce glanced around spying Rachel over with Dent. They seemed to be deep in conversation. He smiled, yeah she was definitely interested in Harvey.

Bruce walked toward the doors. He had just laid his hand on the handle when a man cleared his throat. Bruce turned to see a guard standing there.

“Sorry sir, guests are not allowed back there.”

Bruce nodded. “Sorry, just looking for the bathrooms.”

The guard, an older man with piercing grey eyes pointed across the floor. “Bathrooms are that way sir.”

Bruce nodded. “Thanks.” He headed off in that direction. He glanced over his shoulder once only to see the guard's gaze was following him as he crossed the floor. Bruce muttered to himself about security making his job difficult.

Once Bruce was in the bathroom, he headed toward the window which, thanks to the building's architect, was big enough for him to get through. There was no one else in here, which made slipping out the window easy...and there was no need to either explain himself or knock anyone out.

*

Joker skipped his way down the deserted halls to the office. When he came to the office door he was pleasantly surprised to find that it was unlocked. He slipped inside turning to face the room. Instantly his eyes were drawn to the safe, just where the other guard had told him it would be. The safe was embedded in the lower half of the wall. The way the safe was designed, no one would notice it if they weren't looking for it. Joker giggled, dropping down to his knees. He tilted his head one way, then the other.

“A mechanical lock...” he murmured staring at it.

He grinned. “Lucky me!”

He flipped the lock to the right several times, then leaned in, his ear not touching the safe door, but close. His fingers settled lightly on the dial. Joker could unlock a safe in less than 15 minutes...though when he did decide to rob a bank or a personal vault, he usually went for blowing it up—explosions were so much more fun!

Joker giggled as the safe popped open for him without a fuss.

Inside there were several keys, hundreds...so which one was for the car he wanted?

Joker pulled all the keys out spreading them on the floor in a fan like pattern.

“Hmmm...” He rubbed his chin in thought, his eyes gazed over the keys, then, after a moment, he reached out and picked up one, a switchblade key. His smile widened.

“Perfect.”

*

Bruce managed to get out the window and onto the street in minutes. He hit the communicator on his wrist hurrying around a corner before putting in a call to Alfred.

“Send the car,” was all he said.

“Right away sir.” Alfred responded.

*

Joker grinned happily, gun in his pocket, key in hand, as he skipped across the show-room to get his gift for his girl. No one paid that much attention to him when he walked over to the car. Some people turned when he got into the vehicle, but when he threw off the security hat, stuck the key in the ignition and yelled.

“RIDE OR DIE! I am the Nightrider. I'm a fuel injected suicide machine. I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller! WOOHOO!!!”

With a hoot of laughter, Joker hit the gas (it had half a tank) and the car leapt forward like a panther. People screamed, scrambling out of the way. Joker pulled his gun out and fired into the air. He turned the car around and aimed for the large double doors in the back.

“Okay folks, I need those doors open or I start shooting and running over people until someone opens them for me!”

“I think not Joker.” A cold hard voice echoed over the screams of the crowd. Joker groaned rolling his head.

Dropping his head back against the seat with a groan Joker muttered, “Oh come on! Do you have a tracking device on me? Do I have to do a strip search on myself?! Can't a guy get a gift for his girl? Where is your romantic side Batsy!!”

Joker leaned his arm against the door looking more bored and annoyed than actually upset.

“Get out of the car Joker.” Batman took a step toward him. Joker casually held up the gun, barrel pointed right at him.

“Batsy, I really don't want to play tonight. I'm planning on having absolutely crazy monkey sex with Harley when I bring her this car as a gift and believe me...you do not want to get between me and crazy monkey sex.” Joker gave him a wide grin.

Batman winced a little, not wanting to visualize Joker and Harley doing anything except being behind bars.

“Joker, I can't let you take the car.”

Joker giggled. “Let's see if you can stop me, huh?”

Then Joker shot, but not at Batman, at one of the guests beside him, then gunned the engine straight for Batman.

Batman shoved the guest out of the way, the bullet grazing the woman's shoulder. Batman shot out his grappling hook just barely getting himself out of the way as Joker spun the car around in a circle yelling. “There are two types of pedestrians: quick and dead!!”

He spun the car again laughing wildly, showing that while he didn't drive much, it wasn't from lack of skill. He managed not to hit any of the other display vehicles or patrons...though he wasn't really trying to hit them...just Batman.

Joker laughed. “Whoopie!!”

Joker fired his weapon again, this time at Batman with no real intention of hitting him, but when he spun the car around, he noticed that several guests had opened the doors for him. Joker giggled. Ah the wonderful cowardice of the wealthy! Batman took aim with two batarangs, intending to puncture two tires on the stolen vehicle, but too many people were running randomly in a panic; too much chance of harming one of the convention patrons.

Joker hit the gas, the car lunged forward, racing for the doors, bursting through into the Gotham night before Batman could stop him.

Laughing hysterically, Joker sped off into the night.

*

Joker took several turns, back roads, a quick stop at a twenty four hour grocery store where he walked out with some cupcakes, each decorated with a plastic heart ring, then a few other back roads and side streets only he and maybe Batman knew about on his way back to the Amusement Mile, the location of his hideout stashed deep in the bowels of the old amusement park.

It took some maneuvering, but he got the car down to the opening of a series of tunnels that were part of the old Gotham subway. The subway was not just a forgotten place for the forgotten of Gotham, it was also a great place to stash stuff. He drove the car down to where he could keep it hidden, guarded and give it to Harley tomorrow. He had a platform lift installed ages ago, no one knew about it but him, Harley and Bob...everyone else who worked on the thing had become one of the many “missing” in Gotham. He knew exactly where they were...behind a wall, but he wasn't telling anybody.

Joker jumped out of the car, his expression gleeful. He was going to get the best crazy monkey sex out of this! He giggled, pleased with himself and headed back up to see what the boys had come up with for Harley.

*

They all met at the defunct balloon dart game. Joker (still dressed as a security guard) was sitting cross-legged on the counter twirling his gun with his fingers as he waited for his men to show up. Bob was the first to appear. He had a huge bag over his shoulder looking like a bald ballerina in his orange tutu, fake ragged pink fairy wings and a fuzzy halo on his bald crown. When he saw Joker waiting he broke out into a huge smile hurrying over and dropping his bag at Joker's feet.

Joker giggled. “Oh let's see what you have there Bob darling!”

Bob, still grinning brightly, opened his sack. Inside were toys, stuffed animals galore, all Valentine's themed, dolls and even toy weapons, a whole range of toys in pinks, reds and covered in hearts. Joker laughed slapping his knees and rocking back.

“Oh Bob, those are perfect!! My pooh bear will love them!! Well done sweetheart!” Joker applauded him which had Bob blushing and doing a perfectly executed ballet bow. Minutes later, the other men came trickling in, one at a time bringing their gifts for inspection.

One brought a set of ceramic knives with pink handles, another a bag of red clown noses (Joker almost shot him, but when the goon showed him that the noses squeaked, Joker let him live), yet another brought a pink and white polkadot tazer gun, another had managed to steal at least twenty heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, and lastly, the last member of their merry group showed up with a pumpkin pie.

Joker stared at the pie, then at the man standing there.

The goon looked up. “Ah...you call her pumpkin pie all the time so I thought...”

Joker sighed and shot him in the head. Survival of the funniest.

“Pie is not a gift!” Joker rolled his eyes jumping to his feet while he motioned with this gun. “Well someone pick the pie up, no point in letting it go to waste and one of you get rid of Joey there...I want everything set up right now! I want it to look just like she would want it!”

Bob raised his hand. Joker laughed. “Oh course you get to be in charge Bob my sweetheart! You get the rest of these guys to do whatever you need. I want everything perfect.”

Bob nodded eagerly.

*

Harley was stretched out on their bed. She had been reading, but right now her head lay on her crossed hands fast asleep, her book, a romance novel, laid over her face. Joker grinned gazing at her. She was still naked, her long white blonde hair loose and curling around her shoulders. He stripped out of his own clothing and crawled onto the bed pulling the covers over the both of them just before he wrapped his arms around her. Harley murmured softly rolling over, snuggling up against him. “Mmm...puddin...”

Joker chuckled pressing her naked body up against his. “Daddy's home pumpkin.”

Harley giggled in her sleep nuzzling against him. Joker held her tight grinning the whole while.

*

The next day, Joker was up and dressed in one of his best outfits when Harley came awake. “Puddin?”

Joker was sitting in a chair by the bed watching her. “Finally! I was beginning to think you were going to sleep all night!”

Harley sat up rubbing her eyes. For a moment Joker was completely distracted by her nakedness. He pressed his teeth into his bottom lip, the thought of just jumping back into bed, pressing her down into the mattress while he took her was strong (he had the same urge every time he saw her naked...who knew he had such a libido!) but he was excited to show her the gifts she had waiting. So instead he pushed his lust away for later.

“Come on Harls! Get dressed—I have something to show you!”

Joker reached out and nearly dragged her out of the bed.

*

Joker skipped down the stairs with Harley, who had thrown on a black and red dress with a poofy skirt and a little black shrug, her hair up in a ponytail making her look like she stepped right out of the 1950's. When they arrived downstairs Joker dropped her hand and threw his arms out with a grand gesture.

“TADA!!”

In the room was the most beautiful car Harley had ever seen, plus it was filled with toys, knives and an assortment of other playthings along with heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, someone (probably Bob) had even added pink and red heart-shaped balloons last night, along with streamers and cut-out hearts.

Joker grinned and yelled. “Happy Valentine's Day!!”

Harley squealed. “PUDDIN!!” She threw her arms around him covering his face with kisses which had Joker laughing.

“Oh puddin it's all so perfect!! You are the best!”

Harley whispered her lips against his ear.

Joker kept his arms wrapped around her as he whispered.

“You know I would do anything for you cupcake.”

Harley smiled and licked his lips just before she whispered, “How about having sex with me in that car for Valentine's Day...?”

Joker laughed, leaning back. “Oh I love how your mind thinks Harls! To the Harleymobile for Crazy Monkey Sex!!”

Harley turned to look at him, a frown marring her features.

“What?”

Joker just laughed. “Come on pooh, I'll show you!”
Joker and Harley sat on the floor of their hideout. The walls were decorated with spray painted “HAHAHAHA's”, smiley faces, and old circus posters along with other odds and ends that the two of them liked. The carpet was a strange sort of deep blue mixed with hints of purple. It has been plush at one time, but now had that typical “old” look carpet developed after long use. Harley was never sure where Joker found this bit of carpet, only that the day he came home with this rolled up piece of carpet being carried by Frost and Bob, he had been ecstatic.

Harley crossed and uncrossed her legs, grabbing her knees and rocking herself back and forth as she gazed at her puddin, who was doing his best to ignore her. He was sitting on the floor with his back to her, his arms around his knees, his bottom lip sticking out.

Harley pressed her lips together, leaning over to try to look Joker in the face. He caught a glimpse of her from the corner of his eye and quickly scooted around putting his back to her again. Harley frowned.

“Puddin?”

Joker pouted, pulling his purple pinstriped clad legs up and pressed his face against his knees. Harley couldn't help but think how adorable he looked despite the fact he wasn't laughing or smiling, but rather pouting. He wasn't wearing his shoes, his orange and green striped socks visible. His shoes lay in a corner of the room along with his trench coat. He had his favorite purple vest on, unbuttoned, over a bright yellow shirt. His green tie was loose, the top buttons of his shirt opened to reveal his throat and part of his upper chest. Harley pouted as well. He was doing that on purpose! She just knew it, looking all sexy sad, she thought to herself.

If he hadn't been pouting at her, Harley would have jumped him. He looked good enough to eat and she was very hungry for him...like she always was, but there were times—like now—he was half undressed and she wanted him even more. Now if she could just get him out of this mood!

“I'm sorry I killed him puddin.” Harley said again...was this the fourth time? Or the fifth?

Harley scooted closer. “I know you wanted to kill him puddin. I really am sorry.”

Joker turned to look at her. Harley's heart broke; he looked so sad!

“You don't mean that! I saw the way you laughed when you smashed his head with your bat. You meant to kill him and after I told you I really wanted to kill him after he mouthed off at me!” Joker scooted around again putting his back to her again. Harley scooted closer and slowly walked two of her fingers up his back. He didn't pull away, which Harley knew was a good sign.

“I know puddin. I just...I just got really mad when he said your jokes weren't funny and I wanted to smash his stupid face in because no one insults my puddin!” Harley snarled a little.

Joker glanced back at her over his shoulder. He couldn't help it; he smiled a little. “You killed him for me?”

“Yes puddin!” Harley wrapped her arms around him from behind. “I killed him for you!! No one says mean things to my puddin! No one!”

Joker giggled softly. “Well, I guess if you killed him for me.”

Harley hugged him tightly, laying her head against his back. “I'm sorry Mistah J. It won't happen again. I promise...at least I promise to try to not let it happen again. You call dibs and your kills are yours.”

Joker turned around wrapping his arms around her. “Okay.”

Harley squealed and then grabbed his face between her hands. “Kiss and make up?”

Joker grinned, which looked adorable with the way she was squishing his face at the moment.

“Okay. Kiss and make up.” He giggled.

Harley pressed her teeth to her lip, a grin jerking at the sides of her mouth, her blue eyes locked onto his just before dropping her lips down to his perfect mouth.

She giggled. “I'm going to mess up your lipstick Mistah J with the best “I'm sorry” kiss ever.”

Joker quirked an eyebrow. “Oh, you are are you?”

“Uh huh.” She giggled still holding his face. Harley leaned in to brush her lips against his with the barest of pressure. Just a slow tickle of her lips against his while her thumbs gently caressed his pale cheeks. Joker lowered his eyelids, not quite closed, the blue of his eyes burning from under his lashes as he watched her. Next, her tongue slid out from between her dark lips and ever so gently, gradually traced his ruby lips, then licked them tenderly. Joker's tongue snaked out to meet hers, licking at her with a soft giggle. Harley licked his tongue, gradually slipping her tongue into his mouth.

Joker moaned softly, his tongue meeting hers in a graceful dance. He reached out and grabbed her hips pulling her more fully onto his lap. Harley straddled him, wrapping her legs around him.

Joker ran his hands up her back in a gentle caress, arching into her kiss. Harley's fingers threaded into his hair tugging his head back while her mouth moved over his, nipping his lips, tugging at his bottom lip. Joker growled playfully at her taking a nip at her lips too.

Harley giggled rubbing her nose against his. “I'm sorry puddin...you forgive me?”

Joker grinned sliding his hands down her back to squeeze her rear. “Yes, I forgive you.”

Harley giggled. “Thank you puddin. I promise not to do it again.”

Joker giggled against her mouth. “Ah, don't make promises you don't intend to keep pumpkin pie.”

Harley rubbed her nose against his. “Okay, I promise to try, but I don't like people insulting my puddin.”

Joker laughed as he wrapped his arms around her before he dropped back to lie down with her on top of him. “Now, how about another “I'm sorry” kiss?”

Harley giggled again, giving her body a little wiggle on top of his. “Oh, I”m going to give you the whole “I'm sorry” gift basket puddin.”

Joker laughed in delight. “Oh goodie!”

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Jack grabbed Harleen's hand, maneuvering her back behind their table while he giggled like a child. He was clearly excited about getting to watch Batman in action. Harleen's eyes widened when she saw the Batman. He stood, looking like a Gothic gargoyle, clad all in black, his cape whipping out behind him, and pointed ears atop his head. She had heard the stories about the Batman, but she had never actually seen him, hadn't even been sure he was real, but there he was right in front of her looking like a creature from a nightmare! She glanced at Jack who was giggling and smiling, enraptured at the spectacle.

“Jack?” She touched his face in concern.

Jack's giggle turned into a laugh. “Gotham is becoming so much more entertaining now that we have a masked vigilante stalking the streets of Gotham, don't you think Harley sweets?”

Harleen frowned. She wasn't sure why he was laughing; maybe it was nervousness, fear? She was scared, but....a giggle bubbled up some her, the tension of the situation mixed with the smile on Jack's face. She really didn't know why she was laughing along with Jack, but there was definitely something frighteningly ridiculous about the costumed villains and hero crashing a masked party and doing battle right in front of them. For the briefest of moment's Harleen thought about how funny it would be just to walk among them and bash a few heads!

One of the few conscious security guards, (who had not been knocked unconscious by the initial explosion) a young man no more than twenty-five, ran up to the group of “cards” with his weapon out. “You are...” He never got to finish his statement before the Jack of Spades pulled out a taser, hitting the young guard in the chest, putting him down quickly. Many of the bodyguards that were present, were too busy watching over their charges to interfere with the gang, especially now that the Batman had shown up.

At that moment, Batman turned yelling to the crowd in a terrifyingly deep voice. “Get down!”

Then he threw out a small black bat-shaped object (which Harleen would later learn was called a batarang) knocking the weapon from the King of Spade's hands. Within the same motion, Batman spun around just in time to bring both his arms up to block a roundhouse kick from the Ten of Spades. Ten hissed as she moved in on Batman, her fists and feet flying quickly. She clearly had some sort of kickboxing training as she came at Batman again and again not giving him room to maneuver and recover. Her fists and feet, lashing out with a surprising amount of speed continued to connect, but each time the Bat blocked her strikes with ease. Batman took several steps back, keeping his arms crossed in front of his face, his armored forearms taking the brunt of her attack, before he managed to grab her ankle in a lightning fast movement. With a quick and powerful twist of his wrist, Batman flipped her over by her ankle. The woman lost her footing and twisted in the air before slamming into the floor hard. Batman released her ankle and the woman lay there unmoving.

The King of Spades yelled. “EVERYONE!!! GO!!”

The other members of the gang turned, taking off the way they have entered the museum, through the hole in the wall their explosion had caused. The Ace of Spades stumbled to his feet just when Batman twisted around and threw something at the man. The Ace stumbled backward something clearly slamming into his back and knocking him to the floor with a jarring hit; he slid and slammed into the stage. The Ace shook his head from the impact, reaching in and grabbed something out of his dufflebag, throwing it Batman.

Whatever it was, the object struck Batman in the chest and exploded with the sharp scent of smoke and burning plastic. People started screaming again at the unexpected explosion.

The explosion was powerful enough to knock the Bat off his feet, sending him flying backwards a few feet, but it didn't put him down permanently. The concussive force wasn't strong enough to kill, but it caused enough of a distraction for Ace to follow his friends out of the museum. The sound of sirens outside could be heard by the people inside of the museum. The loud blare of sirens was accompanied by the colors of red and blue flashes throughout the interior of the museum.

Batman glanced the way the others of the Royal Flush Gang had gone, then back at the unconscious Ten of Spades. He seemed aggravated to Harleen, but he took the time to tie the Ten up before he took off after the rest of the gang.

*

Jack had watched all of it with an enchanted expression. His attention never wavered from the Batman. Harleen, nestled in Jack's protective embrace, watched in awe.

She whispered to Jack. “You think he'll catch them?”

Jack shrugged. “If he would just kill them, he wouldn't have the issues he has...”

Harleen giggled. Perhaps it's nerves, she thought, but she looked up at Jack.

“You might be right. But I had heard he never kills.”

Jack nodded. “Never...you really have to wonder what makes a man put on a mask and run around Gotham fighting crime trying to bring order to chaos.” He giggled. “I bet you would love to get him on your couch my sweet doctor.”

Harleen smiled. “Well...yeah,” she nodded. “Someone like that...fighting crime in a mask..childhood trauma would be my guess.”

Jack giggled. “Careful Harley, you might have me thinking you like Batman better than me.” He gave her a clearly put on pout before he spoke again. “Maybe I should put on a mask and take up crime fighting? Oh! Or maybe I should bring more chaos into Gotham just to see how the Batman likes it? But how?” He giggled again. “What do you think doctor?”

Harleen was about to say something when suddenly the museum was filled with police shouting at patrons to calm down, to not move...the typical police protocols.

*

Jack and Harleen sat at a table with a few other of the gala guests waiting to told when they could leave. Everyone at this particular table had already given their statements and were simply waiting now. There were plates of desserts on this table that had turned into something mushy and disgusting looking. Jack and Harleen were mostly making designs with the gooey remains, using forks to create weird little pictures that the two of them were laughing about, while they waited. The Gotham police force kept everyone at the museum for several hours, taking statements, trying to organize witness accounts. By the time Jack and Harleen were finally allowed to leave, it was nearly midnight. Jack held Harleen's hand as they stepped outside of the museum into the fresh night air. Harleen took a deep breath. She hadn't realized how much smoke had been in the museum until she was able to step out. She figured the thieves must have deactivated all the smoke alarms and the sprinkler systems. For a moment she wondered how many priceless works of art had been damaged due to the botched robbery. It's such a shame, she thought idly.

There were still several reporters waiting outside the museum. Most of the reporters were herded off in a tiny section of sidewalk, being held at bay by the GCPD. Though a few had called it a night, there was still a little bit of chaos going on outside the museum with everyone who had been inside now allowed to leave, trying to get to their cars.

There were bodyguards, police and security hired for the gala milling around outside trying to get everyone to their vehicles safely.

Jack tugged on Harleen's hand and pulled her back away from the main knot of chaos, the two of them slipping behind some bodyguards and away from the little press circle and the struggle of the rich trying to get to their cars.

“Jack? What about the car?” Harleen glanced back as she stumbled with him. She wasn't exactly tired, and in fact felt energized after the events of this evening.

Jack grinned, seemingly full of energy too. “Why don't we walk? I'm not ready to go home—are you?” While he spoke he pulled out a cigarette case made of silver with an elaborate “J” craved on the front of it. Jack pulled a thin cigarette out of the case and withdrew an exquisitely crafted lighter out of the same inner pocket. The lighter was a rich plum color with another “J” on its surface with gold filigree surrounding the letter. He lit the cigarette and took a long pull with a grin, blowing out a line of smoke. He gave Harley a grin.

Harleen shook her head in answer to his question. “Nope.” Jack gave her a wide grin squeezing her hand gently.

“Then let's go for a walk.” Jack pulled her close putting an arm around her waist. He surprised her by kissing her ear before he laughed and began to walk with a skip in his step. Harleen felt her cheeks burn, the heat from the kiss on her ear traveled down her neck spreading throughout her body.

*

They walked downtown with no real destination in mind. The night was clear, the stars just barely visible over the glow of the streetlights. Downtown Gotham consisted in a series of restaurants, local art galleries, specialty clothing stores and jewelry stores. There were even a couple of wine shops and a beer garden. Of course, at this time of the night everything was closed.

Jack murmured squeezing her close for a moment as he took his cigarette blowing a stream of smoke. “Someday I would like to meet the Batman.”

“Really?” Harleen asked softly.

Jack nodded. “Hmm...yes...I want to know why he does it. I mean...why put so much effort into saving people—and for what? Everything dies, crime continues, chaos reigns. Is he trying to bring some sort of order to the chaos of living...everything is chaos, there is no way to bring any sort of justice. Is there justice in two little boys watching their parents die? The man who killed them never saw justice. The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.” Jack spoke serenely, not the least bit disturbed by what he had said. Harleen frowned slightly as Jack moved his arm from around her waist and took her hand once more. He swung her hand gently.

Harleen frowned “You really believe that? No rules?”

Jack smiled sliding his eyes sideways. “Introduce a little change, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos...what is Batman really? He doesn't work within the law, or the established order—he is a rogue element trying to bring the wrong to justice, but in fact he isn't following the law either. Order needs chaos.”

Jack giggled kicking a can down the sidewalk.

“I myself enjoy not knowing what is going to happen. I like pulling the thread and watching things unravel in surprising ways!”

Jack tugged Harleen's hand a little, his expression playful.

“Will going down this alley get us killed? Or will we simply walk out into someplace new? Everything, all of it, no matter how hard you try, everything is chaos. I really don't think Batman understands that...he wants to bring a kind of order to Gotham...which will never happen.”

Jack laughed, the laughter taking on just a slight hysterical edge. “Robert Musil says that it's not necessarily a matter of good and evil, but what you fight against and what you decide to accept that matters. Batman accepts that there is good in the world and that he is doing his bit to bring order. I, on the other hand, think everything is chaos and Batman...like my brother Bruce, I suppose...just can't accept that.” Jack laughed dropping his cigarette and putting it out with the toe of his shoe.

Harleen frowned ever so slightly at his conclusions, but then Jack grinned. “Look! A diner! Come on, I'll buy you a cup of coffee.”

Harleen laughed as Jack pulled her down the street, then across heading for the lights of the diner.

*

When the two of them stepped in, the few patrons inside, as well as the staff, stared, startled to see two people in expensive evening clothes suddenly appear in their quiet place. They stared for a good long moment, then went back to ignoring them. Jack laughed. “Good old Gothamites!”

The “diner” wasn't your traditional diner, more of a twenty four hour restaurant. The inside of the place was done in warm colors, the floor was hardwood, polished and the booths were dark brown, as were the chairs. The lighting was subdued, the walls painted a warm shade of burnt orange. It reminded Harleen of a little place she used to go to as a kid with her family before everything became so messed up at home.

Jack tugged Harleen with him to a free booth in the corner, just at the edge of the large window that ran the length of the building's front. The waitress came over a few seconds later, pad in hand, to take their drink orders. “What can I get you to drink?”

She was pretty, with dark hair piled up in a messy bun. She had a nice figure, big brown eyes and full lips. The way she kept looking at Jack, it was clear she wanted him to notice her. The waitress, whose name tag read, “April” kept all her attention on Jack, acting as if Harleen wasn't there at all. April wore snug black pants and a navy colored shirt and by the way she was holding herself it was clear to Harleen this was a woman accustomed to using her looks and body to get what she wanted. If Harleen would hazard a guess, she would bet April was a woman looking for a “sugar daddy” to take care of her.

Jack, who didn't seem to notice the way the waitress kept leaning toward him to show off her cleavage or the way she would shift her hip closer to him, had all his attention on the menu or Harleen. Jack didn't react at all to the waitress. Instead he looked down the menu then up at Harleen giving her one of his sexy grins.

“Just coffee please.” He ordered without giving the waitress a look. “ Harley?” He lifted a brow quizzically at Harleen.

Harleen smiled. “The same.”

April frowned and went to get their coffee; by the set of her shoulders, she was clearly annoyed the Jack hadn't noticed her.

April came back just moments later with a pot of coffee and two mugs, setting them down and trying yet again to flirt with Jack. She leaned forward, her cleavage nearly on the table in front of Jack as she asked, “You ready to order sir?” The waitress then did a double take at Jack. “Hey, wait, aren't you Jack Wayne? Bruce Wayne's brother?”

Jack frowned, his eyes finally moving toward the waitress. They were cold eyes, flat and clearly annoyed. The waitress smiled at him, seemingly unaffected by his flat stare. Jack held his eyes on the waitress a heartbeat longer, then looked over the top of his menu at Harleen. His blue-green eyes twinkled. He held the menu so that it continued to cover the lower half of his face as he asked.

“You wanna share a plate of Belgian waffles with me doc?” Jack grinned like a child, his eyes full of expression now that he was gazing at Harleen, in stark contrast to how he had looked at the waitress just moments agao. Harleen blushed. She couldn't help the grin on her face. Here she was in a twenty-four hour diner, wearing expensive clothing with a gorgeous man ordering Belgian waffles.

“I would love to Jack.”

Jack tossed down his menu dramatically. “A large order of Belgian waffles serveuse!”

Harleen giggled. The waitress didn't look happy, but she took their order. Harleen gave Jack a quizzical look as she put sugar and cream in her coffee. “Do you speak French?” Jack smirked. “Fluently, along with a few other languages. Harley, vous êtes la plus belle femme et intéressant aussi. Vous êtes le mien et je suis le vôtre.”

“What did you say?” Harleen leaned her elbows on the table cupping her chin between her hands, but Jack simply smiled. “You will just have to figure it out Harley.” He reached over and bopped her gently on the tip of her nose with one long finger.

Harleen blushed picking up her coffee and took a sip of the hot liquid. Jack took his coffee black, glancing around once. “Too bad I can't smoke in here. Nothing like coffee and a cigarette for relaxing, especially after our little adventure.

Harleen nodded. She was about to say something else, but that was when the annoyed waitress returned with their waffles.

Jack grinned when the plate was set on the table between them.

“I remember my mom making waffles once. Alfred was teaching her how to cook. I'm not sure why she was doing it, but I remember her laughing. She had a wonderful laugh,” he said wistfully. “That's one of the few things about her I remember with any clarity.” Jack frowned at the memory. Harleen could see the dark cloud behind his eyes, but just as quickly it vanished. Jack seemed to shove the memory away. He grinned as he picked up the small pitcher of syrup and poured it over the waffles after he buttered them.

“It's nice to replace that memory of waffles with a new one.” Jack cut off a bite, but instead of eating it himself, he leaned over the table to feed her. Harleen grinned and opened her mouth slowly. Jack giggled lightly coating her lips with syrup before sliding the bite into her mouth.

Jack cut off his own bite and put it in his mouth with a grin.

“Are you sure you want to replace a memory like that?” Harleen asked softly after she had swallowed.

Jack shrugged. “Sometimes I think that memory is treacherous. It can so easily lie to you. One moment you're lost in a carnival of delight, childhood aromas...everything is perfect, happy, you have not a care in the world...you're safe with your family, protected by the strong arms of your parents, you're brother will always protect you...then Boom!!! All that's taken away by one person with a bad attitude and a gun.”

He chewed his bite contemplatively, resting his chin in his free hand. Jack cut off another bite and fed it to Harley smiling as he watched syrup dribble on her bottom lip. He reached out with his other hand wiped her lip then licked his finger. His smile faltered as he gazed at Harleen.

“Memory can also be terrible, rebellious, takes you somewhere you don't want to be, someplace dark and cold...vile, bloody...the sound of a child's scream, the snapping of bone, the crack of a gunshot...then everything that you thought was solid, is gone.” Jack's eyes were distant, but then he snapped back to the present giving her a grin again. Harleen frowned slightly. She wanted to ask more, to delve deeper, but this was not the place to do so, so instead she simply let Jack feed her bites of waffles. “Tell me about your childhood Harley?” Jack sipped his coffee smiling at her over the rim of the cup. Jack frowned ever so slightly when he noticed the minute changes in Harleen's expression when he asked the question. “What is it Harley? You can tell me.”

He reached across the table and took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. The gesture was so sweet, so tender, that Harleen felt her eyes sting. She gently squeezed his fingers.

Harleen took a deep breath. “It was...good when I was younger, but after my father died my mother remarried and my step-father was...frightening. I wasn't his and he made sure everyday of my life that I knew I was not important. Then, after he and my mom started having their own kids, he made sure I knew that I was nothing, that his children were the important ones...I have two younger half-sisters and a younger half- brother, none of who I've spoken with in years. I left on the day I turned eighteen. Worked odd jobs, got myself through college...” her voice trailed off as she realized she had told him more than she intended.

Jack tilted his head gazing at her. “So, no family you care about it?”

Harleen shook her head. “ I did, but not anymore. My mother chose that family over me.”

Jack grinned tugging her hand up and kissing one of her fingers. “Who needs family! “

Harleen smiled. “What about your brother? Alfred.”

Jack wrinkled his nose. For a moment she thought she saw something pass over his face. She couldn't be sure what emotion that was, it seemed both dark and sad then Jack changed the subject.

“How about we go walk the waffles off before I get us a taxi?” Jack stood throwing some bills onto the table. Harleen followed, glancing at the table to see that Jack had thrown down two one hundred dollar bills.

*

“I know what we should do next.” Jack said, laughing lightly as he did a hopscotch on the sidewalk. Harleen couldn't help but be enamored watching him in his expensive suit, arms out to his sides, playing hopscotch on his own. Her professional opinion was that his behavior might not have been typical for an adult of his age, but she certainly didn't find it to be unhealthy. And again, perhaps the excitement of the night was manifesting itself in his—and her—actions right now. Jack grinned at her when he suddenly stopped.

“We should go get drunk!”

“What? Why?” Harleen frowned, again thinking of the nervous excitement of the night, but Jack grabbed her face with one hand, squeezing her lips gently. She stopped moving, staring into his eyes; they were hypnotic. He smiled, gazing down at her and then he made a pouty face. “Please...pluh-eeze Doctor Quinzel...let's go get drunk, pretty please.” He was holding her cheeks giggling as her pushed her lips together. Harleen was trying not to giggle, but the way he was talking was so cute and funny, his fingers on her cheeks warm. He stepped so close that for a moment she thought he might kiss her. He released her face after a few seconds, his fingers slowly dragging down her throat in a sensual caress. His voice dropped to a whisper.

“We could get drunk, then go home and so skinny-dipping in the pool. Bruce would be livid.”

He chuckled, his lips so close to hers that she could feel his warm breath brush against her mouth. “Whatya say doc?”

That was when a rough voice growled. “Real sweet love birds, now give me all your money.”

Jack and Harleen turned to see a man standing there with a gun on them.

The man motioned. “Wallets and honey, you can give me those earrings.”

The man mugging them was taller than Jack and more clearly muscled. What scared Harleen the most was that he wasn't wearing a mask, nothing to hide his face from them.

He was unshaven, bald, with a nasty scar running from the bottom of his chin through his lips and up his cheek. His clothes were nondescript. He leered at Harleen. “You know what babe, I want the earrings and you too.”

Harleen didn't notice that the only movement Jack had made was the balling of his fists.

Jack hissed. “You are not going to touch her.”

The man laughed. “Oh, I'm not am I?” The mugger moved surprisingly swiftly grabbing Harleen by the front of her dress and yanking her toward him. She stumbled, slamming against the man's chest.

“Ah!!” She let out a startled gasped.

The man let her go just long enough to grab her by her hair and yanked her around while he laughed.

“You just give me your money pretty boy and you can go. The lady and I are going to go have some fun.” He yanked on Harleen's hair causing her to cry out. Jack giggled, but the sound was anything but humorous; there was an edge to it. Harleen was too scared to notice the darkness to the laugh, her eyes wide with fear.

“Let her go and I might consider letting you live, though I doubt it.” Jack smiled. It was a chilling smile that sent ice racing through Harleen's veins.

The mugger laughed. “What are you doing to do pretty boy? Eh?” The big man waved the gun threateningly.

Jack chose that moment to move. He was surprisingly swift as he stepped forward, easily knocking the gun from the mugger's hand with a sharp snap to the man's wrist with the ball of Jack's hand. The man stumbled back away from Jack yanking Harleen with him, determined to maintain at least the advantage of holding onto her. She cried out in pain as some of her hair was ripped from its roots, but the man kept a hold of her. He threw himself to the side yanking Harleen around in front of him as a shield, then pulled a long wicked looking Bowie knife from his belt, pressing it hard to Harleen's throat. She gasped in pain, a long, thick trickle of blood appearing on her pale skin.

“Stay back!! STAY BACK!! I'll cut her throat!! I WILL!” Harleen could feel that the man was suddenly terrified, his arms around her were shaking, she could feel the blade wobble against her neck.

Jack snarled at the sight of Harleen's blood. But Jack was full of even more surprises. He snapped forward, grabbing Harleen in an firm grip and easily—surprisingly—breaking the man's hold on her. Harleen cried out as Jack yanked her free, the man taking several strands of her hair, but his grasp on the mugger's knife hand was like steel, preventing the bigger man from carrying out his threat. Jack's grip on her arm would leave painful bruises, but suddenly she was stumbling away from her assailant, losing her balance. Her knees slammed into the concrete as she fell.

Jack grabbed the man by the throat with both hands. The mugger brought the knife up, slashing at Jack cutting through the fine suit, the shirt, biting deeply into the flesh of Jack's upper right arm forcing Jack to release his throat. If Jack felt any pain he didn't seem to register it or show it. Instead, he slammed the mugger up against the front of the nearby building. Jack's grin never faltered. Jack lashed out, grabbing the wrist of the mugger that held the knife. The two men struggled, the mugger trying to yank his hand away from the iron grip that Jack had on it while Jack, holding his teeth in a vicious grin, yanked the bigger man toward him, twisting the hand holding the knife, struggling to disarm him. The two men stumbled, slamming into the wall. The mugger tried clawing at Jack's face with his free hand, but Jack was too nimble, keeping an iron grip on the wrist holding the knife while avoiding the clawing fingers of the mugger's free hand. Jack gave a quick slam upward with his free hand under the bald man's chin forcing his head back.

The two men stumbled again, but kept their footing. Jack, with a chuckle on his lips, slammed his forehead against their attacker's face, blooding the mugger's lip, leaving a small cut on Jack's forehead, while at the same time squeezing the man's wrist with a wrenching twist, which finally caused him to dropped the blade. Jack released the mugger's wrist the moment he dropped the blade. Jack brought his arm up, pressing his forearm against the mugger's throat and forced the larger man back against the wall. He pulled one hand back and started to punch the man, over and over in the face with brutally quick blows while holding him up by the neck with the other hand.

Harleen struggled to her feet, her dress torn in the front and on her knees. Jack's fist was bloody. The mugger stopped struggling moments ago, but Jack didn't stop; he continued to hit the man though laughter started to bubble up. Jack's laughter turned maniacal until Harleen grabbed him.

“JACK!! JACK!! Stop!! He's down, stop please!!” Harleen grabbed his arm, her fingers slipping for a moment on the blood that stained Jack's jacket from the knife wound.

Jack giggled as he glanced toward Harleen. What she saw in his eyes both frightened her, but oddly that look of madness attracted her, and just as quickly, the look in his eyes was gone. Jack let go opening his hand that had been around the man's throat, letting the man drop to the ground though Jack continued to smile.

Harleen crouched down checking the pulse at the man's neck.

She let out a sigh of relief. “He's alive.”

She stood up looking down at the mugger. His face was a mess, nose clearly broken, some teeth were shattered, his lip split and one eye swelling shut, and maybe even broken cheek bones, but he was alive.

Harleen turned to look at Jack who was smiling, his hand bloody and cut up, the slice across his arm seemed to have stopped bleeding, but it was hard to tell with the blood matted material.

For a moment she thought about calling the police, but she didn't want Jack to get in trouble. He might not get jail time with his family's money, ties...and this was self-defense, but part of her worried about what his brother might do. She was Jack's doctor, this was part of what she was supposed to be helping him with. So, no police. Besides, her rotation in a hospital entailed hands-on medical work. She could handle stitches.

“Jack, we should go.” Harleen grabbed his shoulders, turning him to look at her. She was shaking like a leaf. With one hand she caressed Jack's cheek. “Jack?”

He blinked as if seeing her for the first time before he nodded. “You're right. Let's go home.”

*

Jack called Alfred to come pick them up. The older man arrived in a timely matter, Jack and Harleen waiting for him near a small convenience store that was open twenty-four hours. Harleen had gone in and purchased some gauze and a couple of sodas. The man checking her out kept staring at the bloody wound on her neck, the torn dress, but other than that, he said nothing and didn't bother calling anyone either since she didn't ask for help.

Harleen carefully wrapped Jack's arm while he sipped the drink. He was going to need stitches, as she had suspected, but this was the best she could do for right now. “How is your neck?” he asked gently reaching out to caress the side of her throat. Harleen reached up, touching it gingerly. “It looks worse than it is.”

Jack frowned reaching out with his undamaged hand to cup her cheek.

“If anything had happened to you...”

Harleen opened her mouth to say something in reply when they heard a car horn. They both turned to see Alfred leaning across the car seat looking at them both with concern.

He was driving a four-door Chevy Nova, in good condition, but clearly old and not as pristine as one of the Wayne brothers' cars. If Harleen had to hazard a guess she would say this was Alfred's private vehicle. The butler rolled the window down frowning as he looked at the both of them. If Alfred was shocked by their appearance, however, he gave no indication.

“Come along,” Alfred said as he popped the passenger door open. Harleen started to get in the back, but Jack gave her a playful shove. “I'm sure Alfred would rather sit next to a beautiful woman than me any old day.”

Alfred smiled. “Quite right, Master Jack.”

Jack started laughing as he slipped into the back seat. Alfred glanced in the rear view at Jack, a slight frown on his face then he glanced at Harleen seeing the drying blood on her neck.

“Are you both alright?”

Jack nodded. “Nothing a few pain pills and some drinks wouldn't cure.”

Alfred frowned. “Not amusing, Master Jack.”

Harleen set her hand on Alfred's arm. “Jack needs stitches, but overall we're fine. It would have ended much worse if not for Jack.”

Harleen turned around. Jack looked pale in the back seat, his face illuminated only by the streetlights and the dash lights, but he gave her a wink. As Alfred drove them home she related most of what had happened. She didn't tell him about Jack losing control though, that was to be her and Jack's secret.

*

Alfred made no comment on the way home about what had happened. Once they were back at the manor, Alfred led Harleen, who had her arm around around Jack's waist, his less injured arm around her shoulders, to a small room located near the kitchens.

The room Alfred took them into was a fully stocked medical room. Harleen's mouth dropped open in surprise. There was even an examination bed where Harleen helped Jack to sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Why do you have a room like this?” Harleen looked around astounded by how well stocked the room seemed to be with all manner of medical equipment and a locked refrigeration unit, probably holding medicines that needed to be cooled.

Alfred smiled. “Raising two boys, I thought it would be...wise to be prepared for any...emergency.” Alfred washed his hands and wrists and removed some plastic gloves before opening a drawer that held sterile bandages. He unlocked another drawer that had a keypad lock and took out some vials of medicine, a syringe, needle and thread before he turned around to face Harleen and Jack

“Alright, Master Jack, let's get that shirt and jacket off. Do you mind assisting Miss Harleen?”

Harleen nodded. “Yes of course.”

Jack grinned at her. “My very own Nurse Nightingale.”

Harleen blushed as she helped him with the buttons on his shirt after Alfred had helped with removing the jacket by taking some scissors and cutting up the sleeves to make it easier to remove. Harleen did her best not to stare at Jack's bare chest or to caress him when she removed his shirt. She had seen his chest once already, but she found herself staring anyway, especially when she pushed the fabric of the shirt off his shoulders and her fingers brushed his bare skin. Jack's eyes stayed on hers, a smile gracing his features. Once they had his clothing removed and the makeshift bandage Harleen had put on cut off, Alfred carefully examined the wound

“Yes Master Jack,” Alfred said with his experienced eyes. “You are going to require stitches and your knuckles are going to need cleaning and bandaging. This is going to hurt. I could give you a numbing agent?” Alfred lifted an brow in inquiry, but Jack waved him off. “Nah, I'll be fine. You should check Harl...Harleen first.” Jack frowned glancing at her cut throat and torn knees.

“Jack! No! You need stitches! I'm fine.” Harleen pleaded with him.

Alfred sighed. “Both of you sit and be quiet and I will take care you both.” His tone was firmer than what Harleen had heard the butler use before.

Jack pulled Harleen next to him on the bed pressing his lips together, but his eyes danced with humor.

“I think we both just got into trouble.”

Harleen had to laugh. Despite everything, Jack could make her laugh.

Alfred stitched up the wound on Jack's arm, requiring at least thirty stitches. Jack's knuckles were badly cut and bruised, but Alfred cleaned and bandaged them with the care of an expert. He then examined Harleen's throat, cleaning and placing a bandage across it.

“It should heal without a scar Miss Harleen or at least if it does scar, since your skin is so fair, it should be light. Once it has scabbed over I shall give you some cream that will help with preventing any scars.”

He cleaned and bandaged her knees before he stepped back looking at the two of them with the slight air of a disapproving father.

Harleen had so many questions to ask regarding Alfred's medical skills and the fact that he didn't question them too much beyond what Harleen had told him about the incident—why he didn't suggest they call the police. But she chose to let all her questions go—perhaps it would be best if she didn't know.

“I want you both to go shower then come down to the kitchen where you will both be served some hot tea and scones before bed. Now scoot, both of you. We will say nothing of this to Master Bruce.”

Jack and Harleen glanced at each other then with humor in their voices they both said at the same time. “Yes sir.”

Alfred smiled then shooed them off while he cleaned up in the medical room.

*

Jack and Harleen walked up the stairs together. “Let me walk you to your room,” Jack said softly.

“You don't have to Jack.” Harleen smiled shyly.

“I insist.” Jack gave her one of his smiles that made her heart race. It felt strange walking with him in her now torn dress and him without a shirt. Harleen was thankful that Bruce Wayne wasn't home yet. This would have been...embarrassing seemed too mild a word, but that was exactly what it would have been like for him to catch the two of them like this...

They turned down the hall, stopping outside Harleen 's bedroom door. Jack smiled taking her hand with his—relatively--uninjured left hand, lacing his fingers with hers. He stepped closer to her.

“Despite the part with you getting hurt, I enjoyed our evening Harley.” Jack smiled moving her hand up to kiss her knuckles at the same time backing her against the wall. Harleen blushed, smiling with a shy downward turn of her eyes. “Yes, despite both of us getting hurt, I enjoyed myself...even with the gala being...cut short.”

Jack pressed closer, his bare chest up against her. He brushed the tip of her nose with his, smiling as his eyes moved to gaze at her lips then back up to her eyes, which she turned up to meet his. He grin was contagious; she smiled back at him though her heart was beating a million miles a minute. Heat rushed through her body and breathing became difficult. Jack caught his bottom lip between his teeth as he smiled at her, his eyes moving once again over her face.

“Would you mind if I kissed you Harley...” His eyes met her once more, burning, melting into her. For a moment Harleen was sure he could see the dark parts of her soul, that he knew her inside and out.

Her voice came out in a whisper. “Yes Jack.”

Jack smiled wider just before he brushed his lips against hers. He dropped her hand so that his fingers could lightly caress her cheek, the very tips of his fingers, soft, like a breeze across her jaw. The back of his fingers lightly caressed the slope of her neck, resting for a brief moment against her collar. His lips stroked over hers once, then twice, the pressure never more than a breath across her mouth. Harleen's eyes fluttered shut. The kiss was sweet, innocent, a tease of what could be...but there was a burning passion behind it that was more erotic than if he had slipped his tongue into her mouth.

Then just as swiftly, Jack stepped back from her.

“See you downstairs, Harley.” Jack's voice was a whisper, accompanied by a smile. He winked at her before strolling away to his room. Harleen felt her knees turn to jelly, wanting to slide down the wall. It took a great deal of effort fro her to turn and open her bedroom door.

*

Showering felt wonderful, the warm water stung when it hit some of the places where she had gotten little nicks and cuts, too small for bandages, but after the initial discomfort it was nice to wash up and put on some comfy clothes, a pair of yoga pants and a black sweatshirt that read “Pink Freud” on it in pink. It has been a gag gift from a friend at school, but it was a darn comfy shirt even if Freud was a complete nutter.

As she sat in front of the vanity braiding her damp hair before pulling on some thick red socks, Harleen studied herself in the mirror. She smiled softly reaching up and touching her lips, thinking about the warmth of his lips. A blush raced up her neck and over her cheeks.

His lips had been so perfectly soft, the brush of them so sweet it almost tickled. The heat from his fingers where he had stroked her jaw...she shivered blushing a deeper shade of red.

*

When she came downstairs for the required tea and scones before bed that Alfred had ordered, as she approached the kitchen, Harleen heard Jack and Alfred speaking.

“Jack, you need to be more careful.” It was Alfred speaking. It surprised her because so far Harleen had never heard Alfred refer to Jack as anything but Master Jack. The familiarity with which he was addressing him now reminded Harleen that Alfred had been both Jack's and Bruce's only adult figure growing up, that he raised the boys after their parents' death.

“What was I supposed to do Alfred? Let her be hurt more than she already was?” Jack sounded slightly sullen.

“No, but...Jack, you know how Bruce feels...he worries about you crossing that line again,” Alfred said softly.

Jack hissed. “Bruce is always so worried about right and wrong, black and white...order versus chaos...he just doesn't get it, does he?”

Alfred said something else, quieter, but Harleen couldn't quite hear him. She felt embarrassed having eavesdropped so she pretended to stumble making some noise so that the two men would hear her approach as she stepped into the kitchen.

Jack was sitting in his usual spot, his normally slicked back hair now damp and ruffled, curling slightly over his forehead. He wore a pair of white cashmere sweatpants. Harleen wasn't an expert on clothing or anything, but she knew cashmere when she saw it. He also had on a plain, dark grey v-neck t-shirt that gave her a rather delightful peak at his pecs and a very enticing view of his collarbone which she found to be immensely sexy. She could feel the blush creeping over her cheeks again as the remembered feel of his lips brushing hers immediately came flooding back.

Jack grinned when he saw her then laughed. “Oh, I love the sweatshirt!”

Harleen blushed even more deeply. “Oh it's—it's a joke from a friend.”

Alfred chuckled lightly. “Well I have the tea and scones ready, as well as some pain pills for the both of you.”

Harleen opened her mouth to protest, but Jack reached out and laid his hand across hers. “No point in arguing with him. When Alfred tells you to do something, it's best to just do it.”

Harleen smiled as Alfred looked slightly affronted.

“Master Jack, now I...”

Jack laughed.

Alfred busied himself pouring tea and placing a plate of scones between Jack and Harleen then gave them each a small cup holding two pills. “I shall clean this up in the morning. I expect you both to go straight to bed.”

“Yes sir,” they both said as before and giggled as Alfred left them alone in the kitchen. They sipped their tea, nibbling on scones when Harleen said quietly, “Tonight made me realize something.”

Jack gave her a quizzical look. “What was that?”

“I need to learn to defend myself.” Harleen frowned taking a sip of her tea.

Jack tilted his head studying her. She looked over at him and nodded.

“I wasn't any help to you tonight. I wasn't any help to myself,” she said with a heavy frown. “I want to learn to fight.”

Jack gazed at her, a smile slowly forming across his lips.

“Then starting tomorrow doctor, I”m going to teach you how to fight.”

*

It was still dark out when a couple of detectives from the Gotham Police department stood on the dock watching as a body was pulled from the water. They had gotten the call of a body being seen floating in the water about an hour after the incident at the Gotham city art museum gala. Detective Bullock didn't think the two things had any relation to one another, but he wasn't ruling it out.

The team got the body on the dock. It was wrapped in some sort of tarp. Bullock walked over to see what they had, his partner, Renee Montoya walking beside him. Just as they were approaching, one of the assistants to the coroner had walked over to remove the covering from the victim's face. As soon as he did,, the young man gasped and turned away vomiting.

“Well, that is just great,” Bullock muttered.

Montoya frowned. “What's up with him?”

“Man with a weak stomach doesn't need to be in this business,” Bullock grumbled as they stepped closer. That was when he saw what had made the young man lose his lunch. The body of a woman, her skin chalk white, her mouth pulled back in a rictus, sardonic grin. The skin at the edges of her smile was torn and bloody as the skin had struggled to maintain the creepy smile. The victim's eyes were wide open, almost “bugging” out of her skull.

Bullock swallowed hard, the bile in his stomach roiling at the morbid sight. Montoya held the back of her hand over her mouth as she asked of no one in particular,

“What on earth could have done that?”

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Harley was escorted back to her cell later that day and she was ready to melt into a puddle of frustration! Flopping down ono the bunk in her cell she groaned loudly. She had several hours to go still before lights out. How would she ever make it that long? How was he going to be with her? She was conflicted between wanting to be with him and not wanting to get caught because getting into trouble which would mean “they” would get in trouble which would mean they couldn't be together!

Grrr....the frustration was horrible! She grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it and screamed.

*

By the time lights out came around, Harley was at her wit's end. She had managed to occupy herself with asking for a crayon, which she was given. She used it to draw on her walls, cartoony pictures of Joker surrounded by little hearts. Harleen tried to pop up and voice her concerns about Joker, but Harley quickly squashed Harleen's voice.

After a while she had run out of things to do. She had covered every surface in her cell with crayon pictures and she was now reduced to pacing her cell. Joker still wasn't back in his cell so she could ask what and how anything was going to happen. It was all so incredibly frustrating!!! A little part of her worried about him when he didn't return to his cell, but she refused to believe anything was wrong...not tonight! Not when she was going to get to be with her puddin!

For the hundredth time, she fixed her ponytails before flopping onto the bed wondering if anything was going to happen tonight after all when she heard footsteps outside her door.

The door came open slowly and Harley turned to see Griggs standing there. He frowned looking at her then back over his shoulder.

“Ah...yeah, you got laundry duty.”

Harley narrowed her eyes at him. “It's a little late for that isn't it?”

Griggs sighed then motioned with his head and gun at the same time. “Come on, stop yapping.”

Harley chewed her bottom lip thinking over whether she was going to go, but then decided to go ahead. If he tried anything funny she was going to scream her head off and claw Griggs's eyes out!

*

Griggs led her down to the laundry area. Harley thought the place would make a great setting for a horror movie. It was eerily quiet, dark, and the walls had that odd sort of moist look to them. Usually when laundry was going, the machines were loud and the sound was accompanied by the shouts of patients communicating or guards yelling...some sort of noise going on, but right now it was strangely quiet.

Harley felt the first twinge of nervousness up her spine. Griggs stopped at the last room on the left, pulling open a door and holding it for her. Harley stepped in, ready for the worst, but the room seemed empty. She turned around to say something to Griggs, but he shut the door and locked it.

Harley gasped in surprise and started to throw herself against the door when an arm snaked around her waist pulling her off her feet and away from the door.

She immediately screamed and struggled. Her attacker dropped her, grabbed her by her shoulders and twisted her around slamming her up against the locked door.

Harley found herself staring up into the Joker's face.

“Puddin!!” She stopped struggling and threw her arms around his neck.

Joker chuckled wrapping his arms around her waist. He buried his mouth against the side of her neck directing her away from the door.

“You're a little hell cat aren't ya...” He spun her around holding her tightly and kissed her.

Joker then lifted her up while continuing to kiss her, licking and sucking at her lips. Harley wrapped her legs around his waist while he carried her further into the room. He stopped when he bumped against a hard surface, setting Harley on the edge. She could tell by the feel that it was a large table, probably one of those used for folding clothing.

Joker pulled back from her, stoking her bottom lip with his thumb as his eyes traveled down her neck before returning to her face.

“I found us a room, Harley baby....so we have a few hours all to ourselves.” His voice was like honey running down her spine sending waves of heat coursing through her body while his hand reached up to stroke her jaw, his smile wide, his eyes half-lidded as he gazed at her. His eyes traveled down from her face along her neck and over her breasts concealed in her orange jumpsuit. At the moment, he only lightly touched her, the barest caress against her chin, but it felt like he was touching every part of her.

“So my darling...up for some scratching?” Joker grinned which flowed into a giggle while running his tongue along his teeth.

Harley groaned. “Oh yes puddin...scratch, scratch!”

Joker chuckled reaching up to take the zipper of her jumpsuit and slowly pulled it down below her breasts to her belly button. His eyes followed the zipper, his smile slowly becoming wider.

“So creamy...I just want to eat you up,” Joker murmured as his gaze took in the small amount of exposed skin, but then his hand came up to gently cup the side of her throat guiding her mouth back to his...Harley laid her hands on his shoulders returning his kiss.

The kiss was slow, sensual, melting, his lips and tongue glided over hers with a warm, wet caress that had her purring.

Joker pulled away from her lips to run his tongue along the bottom of her lip. “Do you want your treat Harley?”

She purred softly. “Oh yes, puddin...yes I do.”

Joker giggled.

“What do you say? Pretty, pretty, pretty....” He purred running the back of his fingers along her cheek.

Harley grinned. “Please Joker....”

His other hand came around to caress the other side of her neck, then glided down over the tops of her breasts, while his mouth focused on her lips again, caressing them with his own lips.

Harley ran both hands up the back of his neck and into his thick green hair with a moan. Joker scooped her back up and carried her further into the laundry room. She wasn't sure where they were going to have their “scratching” session until he dropped to his knees in a corner of the room. She realized that there was a bed set up on the floor. A mattress with a variety of blankets and pillows. There was even one old looking candle flickering and a two liter of grape soda (soda was a treat the patients got on Fridays if they had been good all week).

Joker set her down on the mattress giving her the smile of a little boy who was pleased with himself.

“Grape soda...your favorite and a bed. Do I deliver the romance or what?”

Joker laughed and winked at her.

Harley laughed right along with him.

“This is perfect puddin!! You're the best!!”

She coiled her arms around his neck, tugging him with her as she fell backwards. Joker laughed letting himself be tugged down. He nuzzled her neck sending shivers along her skin.

Harley wrapped her legs around his waist laughing while he nibbled at her until he started to lick her neck. She realized that she loved the feel of his tongue along her skin, the slow wet trail he left had her body shuddering for more. His licks were long and delicious, causing her whole body to become sensitive to even the heat that radiated from him! He thrust against her playfully running his hands over her breasts; his hands seemed to burn through the fabric, making her nipples taunt. Joker circled his palms over her hard nipples, making her groin ache with need.

Harley moaned softly as her hips undulated against his and they rubbed against each other. Joker licked her throat pressing his bound erection against her, his need for her becoming a physical knot in his mind and gut. Harley's eyes rolled with pleasure and warmth flooded her body. When his tongue arrived at her ear, his teeth caught her ear lobe, tugging enough that she felt a noticeable spike of pain, but it surprised her how much the pain turned her on. He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him.

She groaned thrusting her hips in return against him feeling his bulge between them. She struggled to build some delicious friction between the two of them. She could easily feel how hard he was for her and it felt so good!

Harley shifted her hips, trying to rub harder against him. She ached with need and her body felt on fire. She was already so wet and achy that she felt like begging him to take her right now! Just make her come!!

She reached down between them, stroking her hand along the hard mass of his shaft and squeezed eliciting a groan from Joker. His voice sent her blood to boiling hotter if that were possible!

Her body ached to feel him, to hear him....

“Careful there sweetie...don't wanna crush the banana,” Joker groaned with a giggle.

Harley caught her bottom lip with her teeth giggling. “I want you...I want the banana!”

Joker burst into laughter. “Wanna hear a joke?”

Harley giggled. “Yes!!”

Joker pressed his erection against her hand as he whispered in her ear. “What did the banana say to the vibrator?”

Harley grinned. “What?”

Joker laughed. “Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!”

Harley snorted with laughter as she struggled to pull the zipper on his jumpsuit down. She only managed to get it down enough to push the fabric of the asylum jumpsuit off his shoulders. She broke her kiss so she could nibble at his slender white neck, her teeth grazing his skin, her nails digging into his bare shoulders whispering against his skin.

“You tell the best jokes.”

To her ears, Joker made the most delicious sound; a cross between a growl, a groan and a delighted laugh.

Harley could feel the sound vibrate in his chest as his hips ground against hers driving her to distraction. She nibbled a trail along his neck to his collarbone, marveling at the sounds he continued to make...the power she had over him, that she was the one causing the Joker to make these sensual sounds. He rubbed against her still, thrusting his hips just slightly, which caused Harley to gasp. She dug her nails into his shoulders even harder as an orgasm raced through her.

“Ahhh....puddin!!”

Joker groaned. “Yes, Harley...yes...I wanna fuck you Harley...” He laid his hands at the small of her back and pressed her hips down on him continuing to thrust upward and rub against her, that delicious friction again, while she continued to moan.

Harley's whole body was melting; the orgasm was fantastic, but it was like simply getting a taste of what she could have! Her body ached, throbbed with want so consuming that she shoved him down, her hands pressed against his shoulders.

Joker laughed letting himself be held down.

“Going to take charge poo?”

She rose up grinding against his hips as she straddled him, taking her time to adjust herself over him. She could just imagine what lowering herself down on him was going to be like...but right now she had other plans.

“Yes puddin! You're mine, Mistah J...” Harley purred

Joker pressed his lips together to stop a groan. He could feel the heat between her legs, imagine how wet she was right now....he would let her do whatever she wanted to him...anything for her.

Harley suddenly yanked the zipper of his jumpsuit further down, dragging the zipper to his stomach tugging the material aside.

There were scars here and there marring his white flesh. He was well-muscled, slick like a panther...

She placed her palms against his skin and slowly caressed him, wanting to memorize the feel of him under her hands.

He felt so good, his skin like satin, the scars only slightly marred his flesh. Joker watched her, a wide grin on his face. He made no move to touch her, just resting his hands against her thighs letting her take her time, wanting to see what she would do next. Her palms against his flesh was exhilarating...so sexy the way she was caressing him....

Harley pressed her bottom lip between her teeth running her hands down his stomach. Joker jerked slightly when her palms moved lower, the skin extra sensitive there.

Harley moaned, her eyes wandering over him. Oh! he was so gorgeous to her, better than she imagined! Slender muscles, skin so white that the desire to bite him was overwhelming. And he was hers!

Harley worked to pull his jumpsuit down. He shifted a little, pulling his arms free of the outfit. Harley slid the whole thing down to his thighs. She grinned at the sight of his boxers underneath, polka dots! Adorable!

She couldn't get over how delicious he looked and how hungry she was...she had never wanted a man like she wanted him. And for once, the voice of Harleen had nothing to say in response to Harley's overwhelming need.

Harley glanced up at him, her eyes catching his...Joker saw the animal need reflected in her blue eyes just before she leaned down to run the very tip of her tongue along his flesh.

Joker smiled, closing his eyes. His hands shifted to her long blonde hair tugging out her pigtails so that he could tighten his fingers in her locks. Harley's lips tickled just a little as her tongue stroked along his stomach. She nipped at him which made Joker jump in surprise.

“Oh you like biting do you?”

Joker lifted his head, his eyes dancing with humor.

She waggled her eyebrow, using the flat of her tongue to lick her way from his stomach to his chest.

“I like biting you...” she whispered against his skin just before she bit down hard on his nipple.

Joker groaned with delight as she sucked on him, her tongue flicking out to stroke the hard nipple trapped between her teeth.

Joker arched his back into her bites, his hands tangled in her hair,. Harley sucked harder wanting to mark him, leaving a bright red and purple bruise against his white skin when she pulled away grinning at her handiwork.

Joker laughed. “My little minx...”

His laughter ended with a smile, as he guided her mouth to his for a long kiss. Their tongues caressed, both of them taking soft bites. Harley ground her hips against him, feeling that delicious friction of his erection again.

Joker breath caught; she felt so good.

Joker reached between them, his graceful hand searching under her jumpsuit to squeeze her breast, finding the nipple under her sports bra. He pinched her; the sensation hovered between pleasure and pain as his teeth grabbed her bottom lip seductively. He sent a bolt of heat through her body that pooled with an ache between her legs.

Joker sensed her want, which equaled his own. He was so hard it hurt! Her body pressing against his erection had him wanting to flip her onto her back, to drive himself into her, to press her down and fuck her. The desire to take her filled his every thought, but he would wait. He had waited this long...as with many things in his life, he loved to draw his pleasures out as long as possible, to enjoy each part of the build up...the torture...the chase before reaching his goal...but then Harley surprised him.

Harley started scooting down his body, pulling the rest of the jumpsuit with her. She sucked and bit her way down his body until she reached the band of his boxers. She hooked her fingers around the band. A mischievous glint shone in her eyes when she pulled them down...

Joker shifted his hips allowing her to strip him. She needed to get the rest of his clothing, jumpsuit, boxers, shoes, all of it until she had him naked. He was surprised at her taking control, but he found himself enjoying it.

Harley sat back to admire him once she had tossed all his clothing out of the way.

Joker lifted himself up on his elbows to grin at her. He was laid out before her, completely naked with bite marks littered across his stomach and chest. His erection was...beautiful.

“Oh puddin! Bingo!” Harley licked her lips.

Joker chuckled grinning. “Bingo?”

Harley's whole body flushed. She started to giggle. “Oh yes, Bbbbiiinnngooo!!!”

Her blue eyes glided up to meet his green ones. His smile widened at the wicked gleam in her gaze. Joker giggled whispering. “Bingo.”

She took hold of his shaft with one hand, leaning down to run her tongue up the length of him. Joker groaned, his head dropping back...the hot wet trail she made caused his body to shudder.

Harley purred as she dragged her teeth along his length. She chose that moment to mark him again. The soft skin where his hip and thigh met along his groin was begging for her to bite.

So Harley bit him and sucked on the tender white flesh. Joker shuddered, her bite producing a groan. Harley continued to suck and gnaw at his flesh until she was happy with the purple mark she left behind. Now she was ready to return her attentions to his erection.

Harley ran her tongue over the tip of his shaft, his skin like warm silk. She used her tongue to explore every inch of him. Joker groaned again and she found she wanted to hear more from him. Harley took him in her mouth, slowly at first. Her lips traveled down his length, devouring him gradually. Her tongue moved up and down the underside of his erection, just before she would suck deeply. She relaxed her throat to take as much of him as she possibly could. Joker moaned, his hips jerking with the pleasure, his long fingers in her hair spasmed. That was what she wanted, to hear his moans, to know she could bring him this level of pleasure...

Harley growled. She loved having him at her mercy like this....the fact that he trusted her enough to give himself over to her turned her on more than any caress could do. She bobbed her head again, sucking hard and fast, then she would lick, wrapping her tongue around the head of his erection, taking her time. Joker groaned, thrusting his hips toward her mouth when suddenly he let go of her hair.

“Come here Harley,” he panted.

She started to moved up to him, but he put a hand on her shoulder.

“Take everything off. Now. I want to watch.”

He giggled as he pushed himself away from her so that he could sit up on his knees, his erection glistened from being in her mouth which caused Harley no end of satisfaction.

He grinned waggling his brow at her.

“Take it off slowly, cupcake.”

Harley giggled and stood up, brushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. She tugged the zipper of her jumpsuit down further, her movements gradual, her blue eyes watching his reactions. She swayed her hips to music only she could hear, doing a striptease for Joker.

Joker touched himself, slowly stroking his shaft as he took her in, watching the way she moved, her hips, the jumpsuit dropping to the floor of the laundry room. He made a deep throated laugh. “Mmmm...If I had any dollar bills I would give them all to you...” he said while watching her.

She giggled and grabbed the sides of her sports bra and lifted it off over her head. Her breasts pulled up with the fabric and then dropped back into place had Joker sucking in his breath. He had never seen a woman as beautiful as his Harlequin...

Harley ran her hands over her breasts, pinching her nipples for him. Joker sucked in a breath as she turned her back to him. She bent over gradually and shimmied out of her panties, dropping them to the floor then stepped out of them. She cast a flirty gaze over her shoulder at Joker which had him growling.

“Come here, my little pumpkin pie.” His eyes gave her a gaze full of want and need.

Harley turned, walking over to him, a slight sway to her hips. She was all grace, beauty and lust. She started to drop to her knees, but Joker stopped her.

“Not yet pumpkin.”

Harley gave him a pout, but he guided her closer, pushing her legs wider with his elegant hands, just before he leaned in close and licked her. Harley's eyes rolled upward as she gasped, grabbing his hair.

“Oooo!! Puddin!!”

He chuckled, the vibration running up from where his lips pressed against her clitoris and through her center. Joker made a soft growl and buried his mouth against her, his hands snaking up her thighs to her hips, pressing her forward and against his mouth. He sucked deeply, his tongue lashing out to stroke against her clitoris. Harley groaned, her fingers threading through his green hair. She thrust gently against his mouth while Joker worshiped at her core, lapping and sucking until she cried out, her orgasm washing over her.

“JOKER!!”

He chuckled, his long-fingered hands holding her up when she wobbled. He drank from her, his tongue lapping against her, his lips burning across her. Harley groaned, sobbing as she came again, her hands in his hair pressed him to her while her hips undulated with pure intoxication.

When Joker pulled away, Harley gasped nearly falling.

She dropped to her knees in front of Joker, his lips wet with her fluids. He laughed reaching forward to caress her jaw, drawing a line with his fingertips tugging her mouth

toward him. His eyes gazed at her, tracing her face, resting on her lips then back to her eyes.

“You want to play some more with me Harley?”

“Yes, yes I do.” She moaned.

Joker chuckled drawing her closer, brushing her lips with his just before he kissed her deeply, plunging his tongue into her mouth.

Harley melted against him. Joker's hand glided from her jaw into her hair, cradling the back of her head. He devoured her kisses. She groaned, tasting herself on his lips and tongue.

He pulled away from her mouth shifting his position so that he could lie back again pulling Harley over him. She squealed, laughing.

She looked down after Joker got her where he wanted her, his eyes dancing with mischief. His hands ran up her smooth thighs, her sex hovering above him. He giggled, his tongue coming out to lick her. Harley's eyes rolled with bliss.

“Turn around Harley sweets...” Joker's breath against her sex tickled. She did as he requested. No sooner had she turned her back to him, her hips still hovering over his mouth than Joker wrapped his arms around, her, yanking her down to him and buried his tongue inside her. Harley cried out.

“OH!!”

Joker tongued her, his head bobbing and his long, graceful fingers finding new places to touch, to stimulate, to drive her mad!

Harley grabbed his erection and sucked him into her mouth. She felt him jerk underneath her, his moan vibrating up through her. Joker's hands moved along her sides while his tongue took long sensual licks until she cried out again. She groaned with Joker's shaft in her mouth which nearly caused him to come right then. He just barely managed to stop himself. He pulled away from her, gasping for breath, panting with the effort of maintaining control.

“On your back, Harley! Now!”

She obeyed. Her lover moved swiftly, dropping down on his hands and knees over her. His mouth glistened, his eyes bright and his pale skin flushed.

He spread her legs wide, brushing his erection against her opening. They stared at each other.

“You're mine Harley....always mine.” Joker's voice was husky when he spoke, accompanied by a hiss on the word “always.”

Harley shuddered. “Always yours...and you're mine.”

She smiled, which caused Joker to laugh.

“I'm yours, my Harlequin.”

Joker leaned forward to run his hands over her breasts, pinching her nipples delicately between his thumb and forefinger causing Harley to gasp moaning. Joker squeezed her breasts with his hands before grasping her nipples and rolling them between his thumb and forefinger listening to the way his Harley begged for more.

He lifted one of her legs, balancing the limb against his shoulder, his fingers pressing into her skin just under her knee, then he plunged into her.

Harley cried out, her whole body arching into his thrust.

“PUDDIN!!”

Joker growled. “Harley....”

He hissed, then snarled jerking his hips.

His thrusts were hard, burying himself inside of her completely. Harley reached out, grabbing his forearms in order to root herself to the here and now. She felt as if she didn't hold on to him, she would simply float away! At moments, he fucked hard, while at other times he slowed his thrusts down making them sensual and slow, almost pulling himself completely out of her before he thrust back into her. The room was filled with the sounds of their panting, the slap of flesh on flesh and the erotic liquid sounds of their fucking.

Harley sobbed with her climax, but this time she took Joker with her. He groaned thrusting hard and deep...

“HARLEY!!”

A wave washed over them both. All-consuming passion wrapped around them and sated them for the moment.

Joker thrust a few more time until Harley thought she was going to pass out from pure bliss...Joker dropped her leg; without pulling out of her, he laid on her, wrapping his arms around her, nuzzling her neck until he had her giggling.

*

A few minutes later, they were cleaned up and lying on the makeshift bed, the blankets wrapped around them sipping from two plastic cups that he had filled with grape soda.

Harley giggled happily snuggling close. Joker grinned, holding her with one arm as he leaned over to put his cup down.

“Can we do this again?” Harley looked up, her eyes wide and hopeful.

Joker chuckled wiping his thumb over her upper lip. “Oh yes, this will be our little playroom until we get out of here.”

“We?” Harley's smile brightened and Joker giggled. “Of course we,” he explained. “You belong to me now.”

He put his forefinger under her chin and lifted her face, leaning down to brush his lips against hers, his tongue traced her mouth. “No one else will ever touch you. No one touches my things, especially my pumpkin.”

Harley reached up with her free hand, running her fingers along his narrow face. “You belong to me too...no one touches you.”

Joker laughed. “Oh, I think I like that..Never belonged to anyone before...” He giggled nipping at her chin. “You know I expect to be kept in the style I'm use to or the deal's off.”

Harley laughed. “Yes sir, Mistah J!” She gave him a mock salute.

They both started to giggle together, snuggling closer which soon led to their second round of playtime.

*

Griggs had seen some of what was going on in the laundry room. The door had a small window in it that allowed a limited view of the room beyond. He could barely hear them. Damn...it sounded hot. He could hear Harley's cries of Joker's name and her screams when she orgasm.

Griggs leaned against the door angry. She could have been his toy if the Joker hadn't interfered and here he was acting as a wing man to that freak! Just to save his skin...He sighed in frustration when he saw a shadow moved toward him.

“Who's there?!” Griggs brought his weapon around then stopped when he saw Joe Carny. Carny was a new guard hired in the last six months. Decent enough guy, but Griggs didn't know him that well. Carny raised his hand in greeting. “Hey Griggs, whatcha doing down here?”

Griggs glanced at the door scrambling for something to say when Carny pulled out a cigarette. “Want one? I come down here to steal a smoke. You won't tell right man?”

Griggs sighed inwardly. As long as Joker and Harley stayed quiet then he could take a smoke and get rid of Carny easily.

“Sure man, thanks.” Griggs took the offered cigarette. Carny lit it for him then lit his own taking a long drag on the cigarette.

“It's way too long between breaks.” Carny sighed.

Griggs nodded in agreement. “I hear yeah.”

Griggs frowned taking another drag on his cigarette. He felt a little funny. He frowned glancing at Carny who smiled at him.

Carny's image seemed to waver in front of Griggs' eyes.

Carny smiled again. “Sorry man, but someone bigger than the both of us wants Joker dead.”

Griggs hit the floor hard.

Carny pulled Griggs away from the door working swiftly. He would get paid when the job was done. Whoever had attempted to kill Joker first had done a lousy job. Carny intended to do better.

He pulled out the rags he had grabbed from the kitchen and stuffed them along the door's edge. He had disabled the fire alarms before realizing that Joker wasn't in his cell.

He really had come down here for a smoke, but when he saw Griggs hovering around down here, Carny put two and two together...that had to be where Joker was. Carny emptied the lighter fluid onto the rags then pulled out the matches lighting it and setting the rags on fire. The room on the other side of the door wasn't that big and had no real ventilation...maybe he wouldn't actually have to kill Joker with his bare hands...maybe this little impromptu plan would work...Joker would be dead, he would get paid and the boss would be happy.

Carny smiled, quickly walking away and dragging Griggs with him.
I don't usually do this but, surprise, my landlady has decided to sell the house  I live in, so now I have to search desperately to find another place. I've only lived here for 3yrs...after she promised...oh no I have no intention of ever selling...raised my rent by $200...and now this...:sigh: So if you want help me move here's my ko-fi page.:
ko-fi.com/O5O88B9Q

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MadloveJokerandHarls
Endora
United States
I write. A lot. Strange Magic, Joker and Harley, Reylo, Original work.
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Deadpool - Watching you Thanks for favoriting my work. I hope you're having a great day Deadpool - Watching you
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