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Mabogunje

I write | I code | I share
14 Watchers171 Deviations
15.6K
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Artist // Hobbyist // Literature
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My Bio

Proudly Nigerian by Mabogunje
I Love Christ by Mabogunje
I Write by Mabogunje
Coder by Mabogunje

I am an author, a programmer, and a dabbler in digital art. I like to try my hand at everything. But mostly, I like to write. So take a good look around and see if there's anything you like! :D (Big Grin)

2014 stamp by thegame680official
Thanks for Feedback W Shine by IceXDragon

Favourite TV Shows
One Piece, Hunter X Hunter, Kenichi, Naruto Shippuden, Ruruoni Kenshin, Gintama, Great Teacher Onizuka, Kimi ni Todoke, Elfen Leid...
Favourite Books
The Alchemist, The Duet, Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, This Present Darkness, Piercing the Darkness, The DaVinci Code, Digital Fortress
Favourite Games
Final Fantasy (All), Dragon Age Origins, Soul Calibur !V, Mass Effect (All)
Favourite Gaming Platform
Playstation 3
Tools of the Trade
Artstudio & Phraseology (iPad), Gimp & Pages (Macbook Pro)

Statistics

Pageviews15.6K
Deviations171
Watchers14
Watching42
Favourites190
Comments Made893
Comments Received91

Watchers

14 Deviants
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Watching

42 Deviants
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Comments

Well, I guess the good thing is that's only a few hours away. I hope we both make it! :D Goodluck!
You're quite welcome.

Perhaps you could draw some parallel between the window and your feelings? The puzzle in the window and your puzzlement at his/her lack of reaction? Some kind of parallel to lead us into your thoughts...
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

I <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart"/> stained glass, and I got caught up in the first two verses about the window. So you completely lost me on the 3rd verse where you suddenly moved into your thoughts. Until of course, the final verse where you pulled it all together. So I'm not quite certain about how I feel about the "getting lost" part, other than I would rather it hadn't happened.

That said, those verses where I was lost were very ripe with emotion, and even though I didn't understand why we were all of a sudden glimpsing dark thoughts, they were still powerful.

Once I had read the whole poem the first time, and understood the movement from the window into your thoughts, they were also more enjoyable. But one shouldn't have to read a poem twice to "get it".

I did like the overall effect though, as the last verse did a good job of describing the situation. So you might want to consider a less subtle transition between the window and your feelings.