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Well, to the few who are possibly still watching me or even remember who I am, I'm back - hopefully for the long run! As of this past year I have: graduated with a BA (even though I might be the least qualified), started working (mainly to gain experience), and even moved out for a bit (by the end of this month I am moving back due to reasons). As the past few months have taken a toll on my mentality, I have started thinking about where I started from when it comes to my characters and my own self.

I really need to get back to Ranko - I want to redo her whole base story but keep the important elements there. I want to continue to create her albums as best as I can - I even have a few sketched out on how I want them to look. I even have slight idea on how I want Ranko's story to go. I just need the time and energy to dive back into it like I used to do.

However, before I do any of that, the first thing I need to do is rediscover myself: Madeline.

Yes, I do not go by Fiona anymore nor do I want to. I have tried on various names since I was last active on here.

I love the name Madeline - it is much better than the other names I tried on for my true self and it just clicks. It might feel like an old name to some, I feel like at home with it. However, even though I know I should have been born female, I still have to rediscover that side of me. I haven't been able to explore my true self since the end of high school. All I have had since then is a name and some semblance of a personality. Some days it feels like my true self is floating away and all that is left is some zombie who does what is needed of itself to deal with this life.  I really do not know what to do to help me in this journey. I might have to go back to journaling. I definitely have the resources to do that!

Right now, I feel as if this journal is a bit all over the place - I won't edit much though since I just want to get my ideas down on the page.

Hopefully I will talk more in a couple days or so.

As always,

~ Madeline
  • Listening to: Disney Dudez and Freaks Like Me
  • Reading: Work Schedule and Amtrak Schedule
  • Watching: Youtube
  • Eating: Chili and Rice
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew LiveWire

Journal History

deviantID

Mabak's Profile Picture
Mabak
Madeline
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
Current Residence: california
Favourite genre of music: Rap, Rock, Pop, just about anything with a good beat
Favourite style of art: Fractal
Operating System: Something that works
MP3 player of choice: My Phone
Favourite cartoon character: Karin, Ranma-chan, Kuzuyu, Midori, basically the funny female anime characters
Interests

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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2017
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconannaivri:
Annaivri Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday! :party:
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2017
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's November 16th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: UndertakerMichaelis
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:iconsoft-lights:
soft-lights Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Saw your birthday on the DABirthday page, just wanted to wish you a...
Birthday cake  icon HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!Birthday cake  icon  
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:iconjjjmadness:
JJJMadness Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
  Spin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it good
 Pixel Icon: Ink-Heart (F2U!)[F2U] grey eyeball bullet[F2U] red eyeball bullet[F2U] strawberry eyeball bullet[F2U] pink eyeball bullet[F2U] lilac eyeball bullet[F2U] blue eyeball bullet[F2U] indigo eyeball bullet[F2U] green eyeball bullet[F2U] yellow eyeball bullet[F2U] orange eyeball bullet[F2U] red eyeball bullet[F2U] strawberry eyeball bullet[F2U] pink eyeball bullet[F2U] lilac eyeball bullet[F2U] blue eyeball bullet[F2U] indigo eyeball bullet[F2U] green eyeball bullet[F2U] yellow eyeball bullet[F2U] orange eyeball bullet[F2U] red eyeball bullet[F2U] strawberry eyeball bullet[F2U] pink eyeball bullet[F2U] lilac eyeball bullet[F2U] blue eyeball bullet[F2U] indigo eyeball bullet[F2U] green eyeball bullet[F2U] yellow eyeball bullet[F2U] orange eyeball bullet[F2U] red eyeball bullet[F2U] strawberry eyeball bullet[F2U] pink eyeball bullet[F2U] lilac eyeball bullet[F2U] blue eyeball bullet[F2U] indigo eyeball bullet[F2U] green eyeball bullet[F2U] yellow eyeball bullet[F2U] grey eyeball bulletPixel Icon: Ink-Heart (F2U!)
     bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
bunch of smiley faces
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Red Eye:oldtv:Moving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 iconBloody Rain Have a Nice DayMoving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 icon:oldtv:Red Eyebunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
     bunch of smiley facesPastel Purple Eye
Flowey Omega (avatar size) - UNDERTALE - Icon GIFVirtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - YFlowey Omega (avatar size) - UNDERTALE - Icon GIFPastel Purple Eyebunch of smiley faces
Blue Eye.:F2U:. Horror TV iconVirtual Retro LED - BVirtual Retro LED - IVirtual Retro LED - RVirtual Retro LED - TVirtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - DVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - Y.:F2U:. Horror TV iconBlue Eye
 Pixel Icon: Ink-Heart (F2U!)[F2U] grey eyeball bullet[F2U] green eyeball bullet[F2U] indigo eyeball bullet[F2U] blue eyeball bullet[F2U] lilac eyeball bullet[F2U] pink eyeball bullet[F2U] strawberry eyeball bullet[F2U] red eyeball bullet[F2U] orange eyeball bullet[F2U] yellow eyeball bullet[F2U] green eyeball bullet[F2U] indigo eyeball bullet[F2U] blue eyeball bullet[F2U] lilac eyeball bullet[F2U] pink eyeball bullet[F2U] strawberry eyeball bullet[F2U] red eyeball bullet[F2U] orange eyeball bullet[F2U] yellow eyeball bullet[F2U] green eyeball bullet[F2U] indigo eyeball bullet[F2U] blue eyeball bullet[F2U] lilac eyeball bullet[F2U] pink eyeball bullet[F2U] strawberry eyeball bullet[F2U] red eyeball bullet[F2U] orange eyeball bullet[F2U] yellow eyeball bullet[F2U] green eyeball bullet[F2U] indigo eyeball bullet[F2U] blue eyeball bullet[F2U] lilac eyeball bullet[F2U] pink eyeball bullet[F2U] strawberry eyeball bullet[F2U] red eyeball bullet[F2U] orange eyeball bullet[F2U] grey eyeball bulletPixel Icon: Ink-Heart (F2U!)
  Spin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it good
                                                       Rainbow Letter: S (Static) Rainbow Letter: E (Static) Rainbow Letter: L (Static) Rainbow Letter E (Animated) Rainbow Letter: C (animated) Rainbow Letter: T (Static)    Rainbow Letter: A (Static)    Rainbow Letter: G (Static) Rainbow Letter: I (Static) Rainbow Letter: F (Static) Rainbow Letter: T (Static)
First Gift             Second Gift                 Third Gift                  Fourth Gift                Fifth Gift
Sixth Gift                                             
Seventh Gift                                               Eighth Gift
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2016
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

On behalf of the birthdays team, I sincerely apologise that your greeting has arrived late this year. 

We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year! 

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love: 

---
The Birthdays Team  
This birthday greeting was brought to you by Kida-neechan
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2015
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconmabak:
Mabak Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2015  Student General Artist
Thank you!
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2015
You're welcome! :3
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