this is basically yet another update journal because i keep dropping off the face of the earth. it's a long story, but i'm making it as short as i can. despite the meme title, this is actually a really serious update.
i am posting this from my phone.
i don't have access to a laptop anymore. i don't even have my usb of main files with me if i got another laptop. (i don't have important commission files like the base .psds for ychs and adopts, for example)
right after i finished recovering from an "unspecified upper respiratory virus" that left me bedridden, my family had to move out of the house unexpectedly. the move was hectic, sudden, and very unorganized. if you have ever been unfortunate enough that you can tell what kind of moveout this was right away, i feel your pain tremendously. the process is shameful and demeaning, and no one deserves to be the subject of literal ridicule for being at a disadvantage.
so, basically we were then living out of a hotel for a little over 2 weeks. now we're living under a temporary roof while we wait for the landlord who's been so kind to us as to provide the roof to get us a walkthrough to a more "permanent" (maybe a few years) home.
everything of ours, including the laptop and possibly including my art usb, is in a storage unit that i can't access freely at the moment.
i haven't even had time to draw traditionally, and the idea of drawing again extensively scares me because i feel that it'll be taken away from me once more if i let my guard down for a second. the line of thinking reminds me of the phrase "you can't sleep, there are monsters near."
i'm working on other things at the moment as well, like finally getting into college, learning how to drive, and eventually getting a job. not to be forward, but i'm also working on avoiding self-destruction because i'm not seeing any mental health professionals of any kind anymore. i have anti-depressants left, but without a doctor to refill them when the inevitably run out, what's the point if i'm just going to hit rock bottom again but with the added pain of withdrawals? everything is terrifying and confusing right now, and i feel isolated further as the people around me leave to start their own lives.
i want to return to making art and publishing it as quickly as my situation allows me. i don't want to let anyone down. art has been my lifeline for so long that it feels alien to not be able to create or bring myself to create at the moment.
i'm sorry for any inconveniences this may cause.