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![[Commission] The Adventure](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/6c1a18ca-5838-4eda-8929-06df289d92bd/dbomldm-b3782a6f-fb86-40e5-91f8-98b6c475775a.png/v1/crop/w_184,h_184,x_18,y_0,scl_0.16341030195382/_commission__the_adventure_by_dsana_dbomldm-92s-2x.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9NzMyIiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvNmMxYTE4Y2EtNTgzOC00ZWRhLTg5MjktMDZkZjI4OWQ5MmJkXC9kYm9tbGRtLWIzNzgyYTZmLWZiODYtNDBlNS05MWY4LTk4YjZjNDc1Nzc1YS5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.atNX7P7pff-TLVrGQBz_E5STPFR0i4CqsXx_j0-2BTQ)
![[Commission] The Adventure](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/6c1a18ca-5838-4eda-8929-06df289d92bd/dbomldm-b3782a6f-fb86-40e5-91f8-98b6c475775a.png/v1/crop/w_92,h_92,x_9,y_0,scl_0.081705150976909/_commission__the_adventure_by_dsana_dbomldm-92s.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9NzMyIiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvNmMxYTE4Y2EtNTgzOC00ZWRhLTg5MjktMDZkZjI4OWQ5MmJkXC9kYm9tbGRtLWIzNzgyYTZmLWZiODYtNDBlNS05MWY4LTk4YjZjNDc1Nzc1YS5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.atNX7P7pff-TLVrGQBz_E5STPFR0i4CqsXx_j0-2BTQ)
Description
Starting something new here, normally I'd wait for till a story was completely finished, but with new full time job, this comic was taking longer than anticipated, so I'm just going to upload pages as they are completed. This a story about my OC Gimbal Lock and her relationship with her older sister, Rally Point, as the children of a Royal Guard Family in Canterlot.
Next Page::origin()/pre00/2c5e/th/pre/i/2018/106/9/5/fly_with_me_page__02_by_lytlethelemur-dc91aee.png)
Fly with Me Page 02
Be sure to read our other stories by Willdabeard and Lytlethelemur too
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www.littlepartycomics.com
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Gimbal's Job Cover
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Cover: For the Love of Nutmeg
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Misty's Mis-Adventure
Next Page:
Fly with Me Page 02 Be sure to read our other stories by Willdabeard and Lytlethelemur too
www.littlepartycomics.com Gimbal's Job Cover Cover: For the Love of Nutmeg Misty's Mis-AdventureImage size
6600x10200px 2.94 MB
© 2018 - 2024 LytletheLemur
Comments7
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Ooo this looks fun! 
I look forward to reading it! One thing I'd suggest, if you're open to con/crit, is that it feels awkward for her to be yelling "MOM AND DAD" at the end of her sentence. Most kids when they are screeching won't be quite so articulate; they'll just yell they don't want to go to school (I have my nieces and nephews to thank for verifying this information) with the occasional yell of "MOM" OR "DAD". Just comes across a little too much like you the author are trying to establish that that's her mom and dad, but I don't feel it's necessary since we'd probably guess that naturally.
Anyway, hope you don't mind my thoughts on the matter. Good luck!
I look forward to reading it! One thing I'd suggest, if you're open to con/crit, is that it feels awkward for her to be yelling "MOM AND DAD" at the end of her sentence. Most kids when they are screeching won't be quite so articulate; they'll just yell they don't want to go to school (I have my nieces and nephews to thank for verifying this information) with the occasional yell of "MOM" OR "DAD". Just comes across a little too much like you the author are trying to establish that that's her mom and dad, but I don't feel it's necessary since we'd probably guess that naturally.Anyway, hope you don't mind my thoughts on the matter. Good luck!