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Metal 101- The Metal GRRRL

By LusoSkav
298 Favourites
Since this has been coming up a lot lately and i get tired of repeating myself

-This is satire, not meant to offend in the first place, i really have no problem with any of these types of people here portrayed (except the guy in the pantera shirt cos he's a dick), i'm not judging, simply caricaturing;
-Most of these are male simply because most metalheads are male, that does not mean that a 'male' archetype cant be applied to a female metal fan.
-The female archetypes are portrayed as such because they are specifically female archetypes, non-applicable to males, and while they may seem 'insulting', they aren't meant to be any more insulting than any of the other ones, since i make fun of guys just as much as i make fun of girls.
-This is an ongoing series, and as thus, more archetypes are to come, females included, meaning that the female archetypes i come up with aren't all 'negative'

-If, after all of this you still choose to be offended and find this sexist, well, then that's beyond my grasp and you should just lower your political correctess-related sensitivity switch for a while and chill. I'm not really here to pander to or coddle those easily offended anyway.

Thank you

Bout time we slipped some tits into this sausage fest. However fret not, my good friends, for this is not the sole female archetype in this sweaty, hairy subculture.

So, after a few years passing, and many, many metal shows attended, i couldn't help but to notice the diferent archetypes and demographics in the metalhead culture that i kept coming across.
And since i never saw any kind of descriptive charts that accurately portrayed the metal subculture i so dearly know and love, i decided to do it myself!

So, based on people that i know, people that i merely saw, often or not that often, and on blunt personal experience, i began scribbling out a few, and constructed many more in my mind, which is to say, that there will be quite a few before i'm done.

Also remember this is not meant to offend. It's all harmless satire, more often than not :)

So yes. Hope you enjoy Luso's Handy Guide to Metalheads

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© 2011 - 2021 LusoSkav
anonymous's avatar
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XenoCreations's avatar
Sounds a lot like me tbh. XD
KaMoonDNA's avatar
hi! can I post this picture on my facebook page where I sell my old metal clothes? Of course, I will credit you!
LusoSkav's avatar
go right ahead :)
KaMoonDNA's avatar
DynastJC's avatar
Girls can do guttural without damaging their voice. That's stupid. It's all about technique and practise.
TomboyJanet's avatar
It's funny because I'm more punk but I can outdrink all my male friends (23 beers no hangover) does that mean I can outdrink all metal girls too?
DallasNetwork's avatar
That's me! I'm small and hate girly stuff! This is 100% accurate!
RedAngelina's avatar
This is me.... :giggle:
deiopei's avatar
Offend me??? not a chance! This is great. This is me hands down. Especially the short, tiny part and generally being voided in the pit. One guy moshed with me for real and that was cool! He was a thrasher of some unknown ethnicity. lol. You nailed these perfectly! Please come out with more :-D Thanks again! 
Strawberry-Pink05's avatar
Imma metal gurl but I'm tall =D
elfmoon3's avatar
Ok that is totally me with the mix of black metal, folk metal and power metal
jcxtc's avatar
accurate description of me (except for Arch Enemy. I like them, but not THAT much, and definitely not because the vocalist is a girl :D

love the series, can't believe people would be offended by it (as part of the metal community, I have never yet met someone butthurt enough) and, well, waiting to see more stereotypes :D 
HearseGurl's avatar
Now this is awesome and being a Metal Gurl myself.  Also I agree with your bold text disclaimer and is not offended or bothered, even though I don't do any of those things typically! :XD:


Your series of these is awesome by the way and your gallery kicks ass! :headbang:
HeavyMetalAngel666's avatar
She looks like Simone from Epica =)
Lilith-Awaken's avatar
LOL, when I was younger I had no idea that Arch Enemy has a female singer..... :)
Sawb0nes's avatar
Yeah, every single one of these I can relate to haha
Well maybe apart from the "tiny" bit :P
Love it! :D
ValeTheHowl's avatar
I know many girls like this... except for the "tiny" part: they're all as tall as guys.
Heck, my cousing is EXACTLY like this and she's more than 6 foot tall! When she looks for a brawl, people avoid her out of fear. xD
SahtiWaari's avatar
And that's why I don't go into the mosh. It looks like fun though... Maybe we should start our own girl-only pits to avoid this problem
Distilledwasteland's avatar
Girls only mosh pit? They exist. And they hurt like a dude mosh pit.
Jorinda's avatar
I might be that girl XD.
Although I do not go into the mosh pit for exactly this reason - I'd love to, but I'm afraid everyone would try to protect me, and I don't want to ruin their fun.
Twippywippy's avatar
This girl is supposed to be a readily mockable poseur more than anything else, no?
RabidLynx's avatar
Holy fuck, that's me! except for the "skinny" part, lol. I'm actually listening to Arch Enemy right now!
MalevolentCreations's avatar
I'm not short or skinny and I hate arch enemy, wish you'd done one about girls like me xD 
GoatQueen's avatar
I hate arch enemy too. I didn't know other people would agree with me though in a civilized manner so I kept it mostly to myself. XD
anonymous's avatar
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