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Her Smile

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I am doing okay this year. Aside from having a cold, of course. My children keep my mind occupied. Hell, they keep me occupied altogether that I'm generally far too tired to think. There's nothing wrong with that of course. I know I'm sad somewhere in my heart. It's that tickle that seeks to creep up from your chest and into your throat, only you close your mouth and it seeps out in tears. I imagine I should let that tickle go at some point tomorrow or this week, be it tomorrow when I give her flowers or if my husband holds me in his arms. Maybe it'll be when I look into my children's eyes. Best not to hold it in if it wants to come out. I like to think they're gifts from her. Gifts that help me heal little by little, watching my two little souls grow and become something wonderful. I hope she's proud of me and I hope she's watching and watching over my son's. 

I imagine a lot of folks are reading this and thinking it's nothing like the gush I usually vent out in the description. Maybe that's a good thing? Maybe that's the closure I've been seeking for so long. Maybe that's healing? I don't know, but hey...no one ever said I HAVE to be sad today. I don't HAVE to cry and I don't have to sit around and mope all day. Perhaps that is what I will try to do. I'll try not to be sad and give happiness to my babies and make them smile. This way, I'd feel she is smiling too!

So there you go, a bit of positivity. 

Like always, thank you for being here. So many of you check in on me every year and it means the world to me. In fact, I look forward to seeing you too. I know I don't post here a lot like I used to...but a lot of the times I'm on instagram or my art discord. 

Thank you for thinkin of me and thank you for remembering my sister.

To see my previous years for my 9/11 pieces:

2018 - On That Morning
2017 - Someone's Watching Over Me
2016 - I Know You're There
2015 - I Can't Live Within You
2014 - Love Without Your Heartbeat
2013 - Live Without Your Sunlight
2012 - Deliver Me
2011 - Mendless Heart
2010 - Only Time
2009 - Streets of Heaven
2008 - If you came back from heaven
2007 - Who can say?
2006 - Watermarked in my mind

My sister:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_WQke…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b_b8F…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFDph0…


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