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I know how I should feel
What things I should say
Things to do
What to be
But knowing
And living
Are two different things
Warring inside my head
As the demons
That demand my time
And my blood
And my tears
Continue to tear me apart
I don’t know how to fight
How to save myself
From their claws
Their fangs
And their insistent lies
Masks are a fail safe
A way to continue
While demons claw at my back
I show a brave face
While crying inside
Never knowing when
I’ll break down
And cry for real
I breathe
But every breath is painful
As the words and the whispers
Cling to me like smoke
My head is pounding
The vileness
My demons spew
Contaminates my thought process
Where do my real thoughts end
And the corruption start
Is there a difference
Or has it all been assimilated
Into the nothing
That they want me to be
I can forget them
For a little while
Breathe freely
Of clean air
But they always find me
And return with their venom
Burning me with their presence
Is there a way to destroy the
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 0 0
Mature content
Drowning :iconlunaura:Lunaura 0 0
My Rollercoaster
Floating high as I socialize
Laughing and talking
Communing and connecting
I touch and am touched
By voices, hands, souls
But after
In the dark moments
I fall into a void
Of pain
And sorrow
I lose myself
I don’t know who I am
When the event is over
And I return home
Alone and lonely
As if my heart lives
Only when surrounded
By other hearts
Where I can share mine
And the rest of me
So I flounder
Fighting tears
And dejection
That lives only in my head
Because none of this is real
But I live it
And breathe it
And know that this is my reality
But it’s a lie
Though it’s not cake
It’s a lie
Because I am not just
My connections
My interactions
My socializations
I am NOT this void
This needy being
That has to have this touch
Of another soul
And yet I am
Are my feelings valid
Am I just a living rollercoaster
That doesn’t know how to change
Down to up
So I can stop crying
I stand surrounded
And even then I feel
As if I’m in a sea of nothing
Though people talk
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 1 0
St. Godrick Ball - Teagan by Lunaura St. Godrick Ball - Teagan :iconlunaura:Lunaura 4 4 St. Godrick Ball - Prim by Lunaura St. Godrick Ball - Prim :iconlunaura:Lunaura 2 4
When I open a book
It’s the lives I lead
That helps me continue
And thrive
I fall into a story
I get lost in the words
That play like a movie
Inside my mind
Sometimes I never
Wish to return
To the banal existence
That I live
I want to be someone
Someone special and needed
At least to another setting
That’s not here
I live vicariously
Through their lives
See through their eyes
And speak their words
I cringe when something
Goes wrong
But also cheer
When it goes right
I don’t want to be
In my own story
A tale where nothing happens
And loneliness reigns
I dream of things
Real or imagined
That I could be doing
Instead of what I do
But time has passed
And those options will never
Be things that are real
In this life of reality
So I read
I dive in
And I dream
Until I fade away
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 2 0
Sometimes the girl in the mirror
Smiles at me like she knows
The answer to a riddle
I still haven't found
I know we are the same
That she shares my face
And yet at the same time
I feel like she’s prettier than me
As if my emotions can’t touch
Or change
Or move
Who she is inside
But she is me
And I am she
Yet we’re so separate
From each other
In ways I can’t describe
I want to trade places
And live her life
It seems glamorous
She must have some secret
That I can’t seem to puzzle out
Some story that I can’t read
Or a better song than mine
A glimmer in her eye
As I catch a glimpse of her
In any reflective surface
Like a treasure
Something I must discover
For myself
By myself
To create myself
And yet when I try to touch
To either exchange places
Or just to know I’m not alone
We can’t ever meet
Always a barrier
A wall between us
Stopping me from following
Like Alice did so long ago
Maybe she has everything
But maybe it’s worse there
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 1 0
Letting Go
I found you
Looking lost and lonely
And out of your depth
At your first party
I talked to you
Helping you travers
The somewhat scary universe
We found ourselves in
It’s been months now
And you’ve found your feet
You’re taking your steps
And deciding who you are
And yet
As we connected
Touching and teasing
I find the truth
Like two puzzle pieces
That fit two different places
And are forcing ourselves
To mesh
I held on tight
Out of fear and hope
And some desperation
That we would work
But we don’t
We don’t mesh only collide
Breaking ourselves apart
On each other
And so as much as it pains me
I have realized that no future
Is worth this pain
Of unhealthy friction
I open my hand
Letting what I had
Trapped so tight
Fly away
Instead of making
Both of us unhappy
No matter how eventually
I find the strength
And I let go
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 3 2
Good Enough
I look in the mirror
All I see is a girl
Trying to be who she isn’t
For love
Who am I
And why do I bother
To lure people in
When I am hollow
I am the girl in the corner
Standing against the wall
Alone and smiling
While crying within
I have found the hard way
That I am not enough
To hold a man
To keep a man
Do I need one
Only in the sake of comfort
Of joy and pleasure
But even then no
And yet alone
I feel so cut adrift
Cast aside for a newer model
And left to wither
My heart has found hope
But I wonder
When will that fall too
Like sand from my fingers
Hope is so fleeting
And to catch her
You have to be elaborate
But I don’t have the energy
I am nothing
Just a hollow shell
Trying to convince others
That I’m human
And so I realize
Through my own haze of pain
That I will never be
Good enough
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 2 0
Slipping into monotony
I feel a rush of banality
Of colors leeching
From the world
No joy is held
In reverence
Nor does wonder prevail
In this life of woe
I slip further into
The abyss of nothing
Where hope lies
Dormant and alone
Where did
My happiness go
My spark and light
My bliss
Was ignorance
The deciding factor
On if I am brought high
Or laid low
Were the muses the reason
That all creativity
Fell barren
From my fingertips
Or was it my own
Faults and fears
And emotional destruction
That caused this death
How then
Do I find the ecstasy
And luminosity
Of creation
Is it a seed
In my own soul
That begs to see
Through my eyes
Or is it some outside force
Beating on my memory
Calling for my heart
To be ripped open
Could the one thing
That I search for
Be inside me
Longing to break free
Or is it lost
In the sea of mundanity
As I reach out
From this mortal cage
My heart beats
Always searching
Always hoping
For the unknown
Though soon it too
Will wither and corrode
Turning to ash
Like all th
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 0 0
I reach out
Expecting you there
Laying next to me
Warming my bed
and my heart
But cold sheets
Are all I find
As the dream shatters
And I'm left holding
The empty remains
I try to find
My equilibrium
My stability
In the face of
The brokenness
But you were
Only in dreams
Never real
Never tangible
Except to my heart
What do I tell
The ragged edges
When they cry
For you
In blood
How do I hold
Everything together
In light of
The needs I have
In darkness
Because in dreams
You hold me
Offer up your all
To make me smile
To make me happy
You touch me
And I tremble
With love
With longing
With desire
And so my soul
Weeps for you
When the dream fades
And reality
Closes in
You say
All the right words
Whisper my darkest desires
Give me all
That I'll ever need
But when the light
Shines through
Into my window
And I wake
You vanish
Vanish like
A long forgotten
Song that plays
Just a few notes
Through my memory
There is nothing
To hold
To cling to
And so I too
Wither slowly
Dying more
Each day
Drop by d
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 0 0
Trembling in newness
I bask in a silence
While it fills my soul
With dreams and wishes
Longing to burst forth
Into creation
Trembling in newness
I feel the flutterings
Of wings beating
At the cage of my heart
As I contemplate
Letting it open
I bask in a silence
That overcomes my being
As I try so hard
To be patient
And not rush
What this could be
While it fills my soul
I am afraid
That it will all fade
And then I am left
With nothing
But ashes
With dreams and wishes
I give of myself
To the tenuous connection
That is weaving between us
With the most fragile
Of threads
Longing to burst forth
I ache to sing of this
Over the rooftops
Because of so much
That I feel
And want
Into creation
I cast my spirit
Letting it lead me
Into the vast unknown reaches
Of love
And hope
Trembling in newness
I bask in a silence
While it fills my soul
With dreams and wishes
Longing to burst forth
Into creation
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 1 0
Snow Falls
As snow falls
In a torrent of silence
Time passes
As I sit and marvel
That I have a connection
To another
As snow falls
I am reminded
Of life being washed clean
And given a new face
To bring about change
But also newness
In a torrent of silence
I realize good things come
To those who reach
And keep and open mind
And an open heart
In all things
Time passes
As I wonder
At the changes
I am experiencing
And learning the ways
Of relationships
As I sit and marvel
I feel flutterings
Of a new emotion
I have not felt
In so long
And I am afraid
That I have a connection
Drives me to new heights
And makes me realize
How vulnerable
And yet free
I really am
To another
I am not just a person
I represent a love
That could be to them
And they
Are my hope
As snow falls
In a torrent of silence
Time passes
As I sit and marvel
That I have a connection
To another
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 0 0
Lines in wax
Dripping through the layers
Of every silver lining
Stopping the birth of colors
before conception
Bleeding through silken sheets
Of aborted passion
And unfulfilled wishes
Stopping the flow of dreams
Before reaching the trods
Lines in wax
Curling through the mind
Of possibilities to cling
On every thread of maybe,
As it strangles yes and no and absolutes
Only the flame of our soul
Drives it as it hinders and harms
And turns us into bitter creatures
Stopping the continuation of joy
Before the chrysalis of spirit
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 0 0
I Dream of Snow
I breathe in so slowly
The cold crystalizing in my lungs
As I stare at the world
Sprawled glittering at my feet
I see for miles atop my peak
Surveying the land that spreads before me
The clouds trying to change the world
To an illusion of what might have been
The only sound is my breathing
And the crunch of my every step
On the ground dusted in white
As if the world was wiped clean
Proof of life surrounds me
In the indention of paws in powder
But no other animal is seen
Other than a single human
Dwarfed by the size of nature
In the echoing cacophony of life
I find my center in the vastness
And am left humbled in the snow
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 0 0
Warmth - Prim
Music was playing softly, the candles in the room making the studio glow in a buttery light. It was decorated for the season; garlands of evergreen and red bows, balls of gold and silver making the light shine brighter. The wireless was even playing silly traditional music.
She hummed along with some of it, swaying to the gentle beat as the vocalist crooned out the words of ‘Oh Holy Night’. Her sock covered feet traveled over the gleaming hardwood almost effortlessly as she danced, her braided hair trailing behind like a multicolored banner. Her eyes were closed as she traversed the floor with her imaginary partner, waltzing with her arms up and her head thrown back as she moved from place to place.
There was a slight sound as the door opened, but while she heard it, she didn’t stop her dancing in order to look. She would find out soon enough. She wasn’t bothered by the interruption. The music changed to another slow song, still with that helpful three be
:iconlunaura:Lunaura 1 2



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KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2018   Digital Artist

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 6 - Drooling a.k.a Wet Beefcake


I’m not a fan of the ocean. Oh sure, it’s alright. Minds its own business, doesn’t make waves, but if you ask me, it just has too much hidden depth. I’ll admit it, all that unknown, it scares me. Anything could be swimming around down there, not the least of which would be perfectly happy taking a huge chunk out of your wallet. That’s right I’m talking about tax accountants. With all that oxygen rich environment and abundance of water, which covers at least 11.7% of the world, probably more, the law of averages suggests there should be at least a few deduction hungry math nerds hunting around down there. It’s just not worth the risk. I worked hard for my pay check, most of which I dutifully gave to my government for various scandals, payoffs and bribes, and the last thing I want is some goodie-goodie with a calculator to come along and undermine my civic duty. So that is why I only ever swim in heavily polluted or toxic water sources. It’s a hell of a lot safer.


Iquano Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2018
Heyo Luna, just me passing by again ; v ; Hope you are doing well owo
Lunaura Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2018
Hello my friend! I'm doing alright. Things are slowly getting better. Hopefully I'll be able to rejoin HSRP soon.
Iquano Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2018
Ooooo, that is good to hear ; v ; Happy to hear you are doing better. They are having a opening now until december 15 owo
Lunaura Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2018
What have you been up to?
(1 Reply)
Apirusova-Basti Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2018   General Artist
Basti thanks Fav by Apirusova-Basti  
CristianoReina Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the watchcry +LEE MIN HO - Kiss (Emoticon #O1 )  

if you want, followme also on

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Iquano Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2018
Heyo Luna ;;; Hope you are well owo
Lunaura Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2018
I'm doing alright. Mostly trying to get my life in order. Slowly happening. Will hopefully be arting again soon. <3
Iquano Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2018
;; v ;; Good to hear, hope everything will fall together ; v ; Looking forward to your art owo
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