Luna-v: n. an unpredictable individual composed mostly of vitamin D, nails, beef jerky, Skittles, and nitroglycerin. It has been described as godless, feminist, evil, insane, and generally harmful to the health and well-being of other living things.
Popular mythology holds Luna-v to be responsible for various phenomena, including arranging the constellations, sinking Atlantis, and inventing the game Twister; however none of these myths have been proven.
It is generally believed Luna-v is a nocturnal creature that places great value on its individuality. Also very proud, one must approach it with the head carried low, lest the temper of the creature be roused. It is disputed as to its appearance; witness statements contain very few common denominators regarding what Luna-v truly looks like.
Its diet consists mostly of chocolate, squirrels, pickled cucumbers, paper, steak, cheese, and small children.
Abilities include speed and agility, the power to be in several places at once, drawing, sleeping for ungodly lengths of time, inventive sarcasm, fire breath, and bomb making. Luna-v lacks skill in gardening, putting up with other organisms, mathematics, and empathy.
Luna-v is known to have a deep resentment for TV commercials, the normative family, Wal-Mart, sappy movies, work, the cold, and any or all people that challenge its self-asserted authority. No information is available on what Luna-v actually does like.
In conclusion, Luna-v is a creature that should be avoided at all costs. Supervise your children and pets while outdoors, and avoid mirrors as many believe Luna-v can see you through the reflection. If you suspect Luna-v is in your area, immediately alert the authorities and seek shelter; remember there is safety in numbers and Luna-v tends to avoid densely populated areas.
This report has been brought to you by the Fellowship for the Analysis of Information about Luna-v [F.A.I.L.]. Have a nice day!
Tools of the Trade
A writing stick and Bamboo
Hardcore industrial plumbing, getting snail mail