so I wrote a letter to the person who molested meSo, I know what happened when I was younger, as do you.EDIT... recently wrote a letter to the abuser
You... molested me. And it took me 10 years to finally admit it to myself. You like causing emotional stress to young people, so that automatically makes you the loser, and me the winner because you are one of the things in life that made me who I am today.
It takes pain to know pain; it takes having pain to become compassionate. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be writing this letter to show others that there is another way, a way to live, a way to own the pain one had been given.
I don't know why you did what you did to begin with, and your reason for it doesn't concern me anymore. All I know is that I finally stopped blaming myself, stopped acting like I somehow deserved it, and stopped lying to myself out of shame and disbelief. Why should I be ashamed of what you did?
I didn't do anything wrong; it was you who touched me. If there is anyone who is innocent, and not "dirty," it's me.
So if anyone had been sexually abused
It's good to talk about things, and it's also good to get help and support if you need it. I made the mistake of not talking about some
problems I had in life, and as a result almost resorted to suicide, but as I said before, it's in the past as I got treatment and the underlying problems were fixed.
Most people keep quiet about this stuff, but I don't anymore. Sexual abuse, for example, isn't talked about much. I was molested when I was 11, and I am now comfortable with writing that statement. Why did it take almost 10 years? Because, for all those years I DENIED IT TO MYSELF THAT IT HAPPENED, AND AS A RESULT REFUSED TO BELIEVE IT. I learned that it wasn't my fault; that I was only 11 and didn't know what was going on. To be honest, I have a hard time being around kids sometimes because it brings back what happened, but I'm getting better. I was already told that "not everyone needs to know everything about me." I know they don't, but if I don't tell anyone then I can't use it to perhaps help someone else. Maybe the same happened to someone else and they will want to talk after reading this. I believe that if something tragic happens, there is always something positive to make from it, and this is spreading the word, the fact, that YES, IT IS good to talk about things.
I have nothing to be ashamed of and I'm still innocent and a good person. I did nothing wrong! That is the first time I could comfortably tell myself that!
I'm not ashamed of being a victim of molestation. I am OK and I made it through. My life is going on, and the world is still turning.
If you or anyone else is a victim of any type of unfortunate situation, let them know that speaking up is OK. Perhaps they want to do it anonymously or privately, and that's OK too. As long as you're not keeping everything bottled up inside.
There is more positive stuff on my facebook page. Feel free to check it out.
www.facebook.com/christys.art.…
