He had finally found her again. His dear Lotus blossom.
But how differently she looked…Her eyes, once adventurous and filled with mischief now shown cold,cynical…jaded, even still though, they had the same showing for love for him.
He reached out a stark gloved hand to touch her, to feel her soft skin only to feel her wince under even the slightest touch.
How badly was this woman hurt?
He didn’t realize until now just how much he had broken this woman. He never understood exactly how she felt, him leaving hurt yes, but he felt it was justified. He wasn’t left wondering what he did wrong unlike Lotus.
She looked up at him with sorrow and concern, afraid if she reacted to quickly, or reached out for him to comfort her, that he might vanish altogether again.
“Lotus….” Mustang’s voice trailed. He spoke barely above a whisper. His hands coming together to remove his gloves.
“I’m so sorry…. I never meant to hurt you like this.” he said, wiping away a tear that was beginning to form at the corner of her forest colored eyes. He had always imagined that someday he would find her again after the war in Ishval. He imagined that he would finally be able to introduce his best friend Hughs. Though now that were impossible even if he did still want to. But he couldn’t have. How would he be able to tell him. “This woman is everything I’ve ever loved, and I hurt her worse than any war ever could.” How could he have ever explained that he abandon her. Unknowingly with a child in womb. What was worse, the pain she had to have felt losing it… He had fucked up so badly.
And yet, Lotus continued to stare at him, almost non cohesively. Her eyes glazed with tears and fear, only melding by her unwavering adoration for him. She was rendered helpless, like a puppy…like a dog… In her own way, she found herself to be even worse than military personnel, because at least their loyalty was to a “greater good” She couldn’t bring herself to hate Roy even if she tried. She felt herself snapped back into reality when she felt his hand on her side now, as if trying to scoot her forward.
“Come here…. I…. Ive missed you… For so long I’ve missed having you close to me.” he spoke, quiet still as if he were trying to hide the guilt. He had tried sleeping with countless women, hoping they might have some kind of still on his heart, wishing that he could somehow overcome his desire for her and her alone. As he pulled her closer, he felt her arms suddenly wrap around him with a new found energy. Almost a sense of desperation. “P-please…. please don’t leave again.” She whimpered. Her plea was so pain filled he wondered how he could have ever created that doubt in the first place.
As Roy pulled Lotus onto his lap, he lay down on his side, pulling her gently into the same position, only so she were facing him now. Her hands balled up and pressed against her chest, tears flowing down her cheeks still. He had never seen her look so utterly devastated. Pulling up the red satin sheets around them, he tucked her side in ever so caringly around her form. his expressionless face
“I swear to you on my life Lotus… I will never leave you alone again. Not even the line of duty will come before you. You’re my one and only. You’re the spark that still keeps my heart beating” he told her sweetly. Kissing her forehead over and over. He hoped and he prayed that one day he would be able to make amends for all he had put her through.