HOW FUCKING DARE YOU
|5 min read
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LordDogma's avatar
By LordDogma   |   Watch
0 25 104 (1 Today)
Published: December 9, 2008
I just got "attempted choked turned into digging his nails into my fucking neck" today.

It started when I was sitting with my friends at lunch today when this guy I know named Carl (Or Karl or however the fuck he spells his name.) stands next to me and asked us if we have change for a dollar. I like to joke with my friends, I get the idea to snatch his dollar saying "No, but I'll take the dollar! 8D" He tried to pry open my hand to get the dollar which I was having fun keeping a grip on.

We end up standing, grabbing each others arms trying to overpower one another with me telling him to say "please". I even try to tickle him in the armpit to make him let go. And while I'm thinking we're playing around, he grabs me by the neck. By now I'm thinking, "What the hell?" but I keep the dollar in my hand saying "Come on, just say please?".

He then tried acting like he knew karate or self defense by trying to push a pressure point in  my hand (It's technique used in self defense to make people automatically let you go.) but fails and keeps trying to push in various areas between my thumb and index. After having a bit of a staring contest with him, I decided he wasn't going to say please and stopped. I handed him back his dollar.

I was thinking of saying sorry next, because he did look a bit serious during that time, but before I could speak he slapped me.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER SLAPPED ME.


It wasn't like a hard, powerful slap. More like a half assed slap to show disrespect. However, there is a thing about me you should know.

YOU DON'T FUCKING SLAP ME.

EVER.

NOT UNLESS YOU GOT SOME FUCKING DEATH WISH.

My dad's slapped me once and on top of him getting punched in the face and scratched, I didn't talk to him for a year.  

I reacted by pushing him backwards, where he landed on this girl eating food. I was scared that she got hurt or food all over her, so I stopped and gave her a quick apology. By then Carl left and I sat down, flustered as hell, and decided to read a book to calm down.

Carl, however, comes back and whispered into my ear, "You know if you had done that in the street, you be dead."

This is fucking school. COLLEGE. You do not go around doing that to people unless it's in self defense. Outside of school you can be the little fucking gang-banging-woman-beater-in-streets that you wanna be, but in school - you don't fucking do that.

Now, I'm going to have to write a report and my mom's taking me down to the police station to file another report. It's a lot of work that I'd rather avoid but it has to be done if that son of a bitch is going to learn a lesson.

However, today wasn't all that bad. The Field Museum is free the second Monday of every month, so Kelly, Kat, Brandi and I decide to go. We went on the Nature Walk exhibit, were they have this large collection of taxidermy animals and we saw the new Aztec World, which I felt was a bit boring.

By, the time we decided to leave, everyone was starving and Brandi and I keep talking about McDonalds. So, I brought a Double Quarter Pound w/ Cheese and tore it up. The burger never had a prayer.


--


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Comments25
anonymous's avatar
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Rinkuchan27's avatar
Rinkuchan27 Digital Artist
i know im late but....WTF MAN!~~~~ yes, so immature to threat you. he is in college, he needs to grow up. i saw the scar on you and that wasn't playful at all. im glad you reported him, its worth the time and effort. i hope he doesnt do it again to you, if so tell me or anyone else.

lol about you're burger. you know what i never ate for years in micky d's is the BIG MAC~ i miss it lol. even if i eat it now, ill feel guilty afterwards hahaha.

see yahs!
LordDogma's avatar
EAT YOUR CHEESEBURGER.
Rinkuchan27's avatar
Rinkuchan27 Digital Artist
FINE I WILL!!! JEEZZ!!~~~ xDD~~
bluerose78's avatar
bluerose78 Filmographer
Dude, that last comment...well you know I ate like a pregnant lady afterwards. I thought that's what Carl said to you at the table afterwards. Sorry, I could have helped but I was so confused cuz I thought you two were messing around till he slapped you. Then I was wondering if he had been serious. Jackass. At least he apologized now.
LordDogma's avatar
Tear them burgers up!

Yeah, he had the nerve to ask if we could forget what happened and move on. LIKE HELL I WILL.

I'm never talking to his ass again.
DKHutcheson's avatar
DKHutchesonProfessional Digital Artist
WOW. D8> What a jerk.
LordDogma's avatar
Tell me about.

Now I gotta rub some lotion on my skin or else I get the hose again.
DKHutcheson's avatar
DKHutchesonProfessional Digital Artist
80 I will save you! -is now Agent Clarice Sterling- ♥
Sch-G's avatar
damn, what a loser D8<
sheesh! dude, that was a joke D:
u must kick his ass now :C
but I`m glad you`r ok!
LordDogma's avatar
I would totally love to pound his ass, but it would only get me in trouble and he apologized today.

But, one day, he'll be alone in an alley with me and Mr. Lead Pipe.
Sch-G's avatar
lol!
us so badass!:D :D
dictators-R-us's avatar
I knew. Art people are crazy. )))
Rinkuchan27's avatar
Rinkuchan27 Digital Artist
HEYYYYYYYYY~~~ XPPPPP))))) jk
dictators-R-us's avatar
See. My point is proven. ))
Crazy people. All you're missing is me. )))
Rinkuchan27's avatar
Rinkuchan27 Digital Artist
LOL xDDD >.<
JulieRaven's avatar
Holy crap, how immature can one be? That's just ridiculous. He was probably just trying to act tough.

Bah

On a side note, I'm kind of into asphyxiation, so had I been in your situation, it would have been more of a turn on.

Uhm.

I love you =( I'm sorry that there are still crazy douchebags at your school

BUT YOU'RE GONNA TEACH THAT MOTHERFUCKER A LESSON YEAH :D
LordDogma's avatar
Yeah, all that came from a guy who's the token black guy in a group of girls at lunch and who people find to be an overall punk.

Wow, I'm the totally opposite.

I like to play rough, but things like slapping, spanking and really just flooring me come off as offending to me and I go fucking SHE-HULK on a fool.

I'MMA BUST THAT MOTHERFUCKA IN THE HEAD WITH A LEAD PIPE. NO ONE BITCH SLAPS ALEX.
JulieRaven's avatar
Nono, slapping is NOT okay

so you are free to do whatever you want :D

Slapping to me, as far as whoEVER you hit, seems like such a dominating thing and in a bad way. It's humiliation. For men or women to be slapped. But to me, for this situation, he sounds really chauvinistic. And slapping you is just the biggest fucking insult, I would rip off his balls and split his head open. Jesu cristo. Like that thought seriously makes me wanna go apeshit ksdfasldf =/
MetalSpork's avatar
God, what a fucking idiot. Have I ever met this person? I don't know who you're talking about.... What a dumb ass. You should get an anteater bodyguard to maul people like that.
LordDogma's avatar
It's that black guy at lunch who always sits at a table surrounded by girls? He's got tiny cornrolls that end in tiny braids behind his neck?

If I point him out you might know him.

LOL, at the nature walk we saw a stuffed aardvark and that thing is a BEAST. I totally want one for Christmas. Suck face my enemies like nobody's business.
XxDeadlySinxX's avatar
Holy shit dude! D8

Damn, if I were there, I would've helped by gnawing on his arm or somethin, or kicking him in the balls, or the butt, whichever way he's facing.

But no seriously, that's pretty scary..;;

AT LEAST YOU'RE OKAY!;; Right??;;
LordDogma's avatar
We'd beat the shit out of this mofo.

Oh, I'm perfectly fine.

Except now I've get four nail marks in my neck from the motherfucker that stung a tiny bit. I swear if they scar - he'll die.

But, I expect he'll fuck off messing with me like that. I saw him again about half an hour later in the hall and he looked down as I was walking past.
XxDeadlySinxX's avatar
I would've shoved him against the wall and then kept going.. Dl Stupid monke douchbag...

*rubs neck* :C
anonymous's avatar
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