The last day I saw her was last Thursday, the same day as we worked together at the theater. I remember struggling to change the marquee before I could leave while Kat was free to go home. I remember her laughing at me cursing ("FUCK THE LETTER "P"!") and thinking this will be my Thursdays for sometime, but at last I'll spend them with someone who was as cheerful as her. I was so happy as we yelled our goodbyes down the street from each other.
My friend Kat Perez died that night.
She went home.
Went to bed.
Had a seizure.
I went to her funeral earlier today. I just couldn't go to her wake. I didn't want to see her like that. I, an atheist, sat through Mass and bit my lip as I listened with disgust to a priest saying God wanted her so He took her.
SO FUCKING SELFISH AND INCONSIDERATE.
I felt tears run down my face as her fiancee spoke about her and how she taught him the most important thing you'll ever learn is LOVE. He was crying the hardest the whole time.
I held my manager Jim's hand and wrapped my arm around my coworker Jenny as she was put into the ground and died inside as a back up truck simply poured dirt on top of her.
Kat was a wonderful human being, full of promise and died far too young.
I wanted to say something to you at school today about this rather than on the internet, but I didn't see you anywhere, so.... I'm really, really sorry for your loss, Alex.... If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
*hugs* It would be ignorant and arrogant of me to tell you, I know how you feel... Because, while I may have an inkling, there is no way I would ever be able to conceive how amazing this person must have been (and still is). There is no way I can imagine your own, personal pain.
You are amazing for helping so many others, and I am so... so sorry you have to experience this loss.
Her fiance was giving a speech at the funeral and I'll never forget it. He said she taught him just how important and great love truly is. The expression on his face and the way he spoke finally gave me proof that true love really does exist as hard as it is to find.
If there is one thing I can keep of her in my heart is love is, indeed, the greatest thing you'll ever learn.
I've lost my real dad too, except I was two at the time so I don't really remember him at all. I've lost two other friends before due to drugs and that was just in high school. If you flip through my journal entries, deaths seem to be a once every year thing for me.
It gets to the point you just feel like if this keeps up, forget friends so you don't feel the heartache of losing them.
Don't worry, I'll be fine. Kat was a great girl and she'll always be that smiling, loving and happy human being in my head.