Mature Content
This content is intended for mature audiences
Log in to confirm your age

Deviation Actions

27 Favourites
31 Comments
1K Views

Literature Text

This content is unavailable.
this took fucking, FOREVER!!!!

3 days! 3 FUCKING days to write!

and this is something you don't see everyday, casual racism towards the succubus race.

also if anyone plays that song by Katy Perry, I will not be happy.

also, another big shout out to my friend Deborah aka.  CircleDreams she has helped out with just about all the descriptive work so please check out her stuff if you wanna say thanks because she is, an absolute sweetheart and I love her. because she has been an amazing friend, so please check out her stuff if you wanna say thanks. :hug:


anyway here it is enjoy.
Published:   |  Mature
© 2014 - 2021 lord-of-the-shadows1
Comments31
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
LudedWolf's avatar
lord-of-the-shadows1's avatar
Anything in particular you liked?
LudedWolf's avatar
I'm not exactly sure. I do enjoy the part where Queen shows Concern for Mary well-being. Even though moment ago. She made Mary lick her boots clean. I have feeling that she did it not to embarrass her but to protect her. Kind like the Nobel Demon trope.
lord-of-the-shadows1's avatar
Hmm. a fair assumption.
LudedWolf's avatar
Not giving out any hints 😉 Then again that might spoil the rest of the other chapters.
AgeThe6's avatar
Wow really good flow and the whiten was just awesome :)
AgeThe6's avatar
My phone autocorrect lol
lord-of-the-shadows1's avatar
Well, I hope you enjoy the rest. :)
Ashreila's avatar
A note on internet typography; every sentence doesn't need to have it's own line. In fact, it makes much harder to read (what I would really love to do, but can't because of the strain it would put on my already bespectacled eyes) on a backlit screen. Try regrouping your text into paragraphs, because I really want to give this story an honest chance.
Nightwalker50's avatar
Good writing often takes a LOT of time to write -- a craft with words, characters, and plot.
CircleDreams's avatar
Aww, you're most welcome, Anthony ...and thanks again for the shout-out :aww:

I have to say though, while I can see the places I helped you ...the rest of your work has really improved! :clap: This is a much, much cleaner read, and the connections between your paragraphs have improved by leaps and bounds. Congratulations! :) You should be really proud of this piece. :hug:
lord-of-the-shadows1's avatar
than you! :hug: this did indeed take a lot of time when I was writing my own bits though but I couldn't do it without your help. :hug:
CircleDreams's avatar
Aww, you're very welcome ...and I'm glad I could help! :hug: ...but it's also true that your writing is very improved ...this is an excellent start to a story, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it :aww:
lord-of-the-shadows1's avatar
what was your favourite part about this? if I may ask?
CircleDreams's avatar
For me? Well, I'm a big fan of uplifting the underdog ...and I strongly dislike gossips and bullies ...
It was all nicely written, and a good read ...the part enjoyed most was when she took the young woman under her wing. ;)
lord-of-the-shadows1's avatar
meteorically or literally?
CircleDreams's avatar
Lol ...I like the fact she was willing to stand up for someone who didn't have a friend in the world. It lets you see a kinder side to a character who, in order to rule, has to be harsh under many circumstances :aww:
lord-of-the-shadows1's avatar
yeah we'll be seeing more of that from time to time.
View all replies
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In