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The Bigger The Hair, The Closer To God

By Lopoddity
1K Favourites
i've mentioned this character before in passing: Queen Mean by Lopoddityand pitched her as a former bully to Magnolia May. I'm chucking most of this original personality/design out the window.

1.) Glitzi Glamour Gladmane is the one and only (that we know of, anyway) daughter of Gladstone Gladmane. Since Gladmane himself is an obvious reference to Elvis Presley, for Glitzi I decided to take inspo from another beloved kitschy music icon, Dolly Parton. Hence big tatas, big attitude, and bigger hair- everything about Glitzi is big. She has a way of instantly taking over a room and commanding everypony's attention.

I initially envisioned Glitzi as a monstrous bully to Magnolia May, but now I'm wondering if it'd be more interesting for her to be......actually kinda nice. Sorta. Glitzi is of course a cutthroat businesspony and made of that same syrupy fake-cordial stock as Big Daddy Gladmane, but she does really, really want to be liked, and that means playing nice. She's just not very good at it. Having been raised by her father (well, really by his disinterested assistant), she never really had anypony to model sincere kindness to her. So she approaches others with aggressive, vaguely condescending Southern hospitality and gentle teasing that really isn't so gentle at all. This is not a good way to make friends, and has absolutely earned her the ire of Magnolia May (which would startle Glitzi if she knew- she always thought she and Magnolia were like best friends? .....Aren't best friends supposed to be a little catty?)


-Glitzi, as you may have noticed, ain't the brightest. Sheltered, oblivious, and shallow as a puddle, she's often called "Ditzy" behind her back.....not that anypony would dare saying it to her face, because of the power and influence her father wields.

-Magnolia thinks she's tacky and fake as shit. She gets much satisfaction out of the fact that Glitzi flunked out of the beauty school they both attended

-Glitzi has a deep-fried Tennessee twang to contrast Magnolia's airy Georgia debutante drawl

-popular night time singer at several of Gladmane's Las Pegasus clubs, sounds a bit like this . Glitzi's special talent is singing~

-Glitzi is a rather impressive amateur chef. Getting on her good side means being subjected to all manner of delicious fatty comfort food- after all, Glitzi believes the best way to a pony's heart is through their arteries.

-has a vested interest in Magnolia, keeps tabs on her. Whenever they cross paths Glitzi will brag a LOT about her success and riches compared to Magnolia's paltry Ponyville beauty salon.....but it's possible this is a misguided attempt to impress Maggie. It is one of Magnolia's deepest darkest secrets that she and Glitzi used to date.....thus their interactions are always charged with the passive-aggressive semi-flirty tension of salty exes. Neither of them is as over their breakup as they pretend to be.

-Bruce is so terrified of this woman you don't even know

-Glitzi despises Jam Sandwich. It's an easy thing to do, considering Glitzi's father seems oh-so-eager to dote on this skinny twig nothing of a mare from Ponyville and ignore his own daughter. Glitzi enjoys nothing more than sending Jam on pointless and banal errands (finding a needle in a haystack, capturing Glitzi's horrible and bitey runaway bichon frise, etc). Jam is uncertain if refusing would earn her the ire of Glitzi's father, so she often buckles, and frustrates Glitzi to no end when she succeeds at every task.

-Daddy Gladmane rarely talks to Glitzi except to chastise her spending/scold her for doing something stupid

2.) Glitzi and her darlin' Magnolia. (quote is shamelessly taken from the old Batman cartoon)

Glitzi's mane is naturally the same dull silver as Gladmane's. She claims to dislike this because it makes her look old, but really, deep down she doesn't like how much her reflection reminds her of her dad's sneering face. Dying it is the ONE lesson she retained from beauty school, and while blonde is her favorite, she's been seen sporting nearly every color of the rainbow, to the point where she may even (happily) forget what her natural hair color is.

3.) Glitzi and her mama, Suri Polomare~

Suri most certainly didn't plan on getting knocked up by Gladmane, but whatever, it's cool, she always kinda wanted to try the whole domesticity thing. Gladmane was wholly uninterested in being a family, but Suri didn't need him anyway. She was gonna be a fierce, gorgeous, and responsible single mom, because there's nothing Suri Polomare can't do! She quickly got to work creating (plagiarizing) whole lines of mommy merch- clothing, baby toys, essential oils, the works. And she found a lot of success! One problem, though.......it was getting awfully exhausting to push product and keep in contact with her suppliers with this whole......baby thing in the way. She'd kinda assumed a baby would be like a doll you could dress up, or one of those tiny dogs you could cram into a purse. Nobody said anything about spit-up and colicky tummies and sleepless nights....

So one day, when Gladmane's mostly forgotten the whole affair, Suri shows up on his doorstep, dark circles under her eyes, and cheerfully informs him that if he doesn't take this little snot factory off her hands right now, she's totally gonna leave it in a dumpster, mm'kay? In the future, Gladmane keeps Glitzi dependent by reminding her it was him that so kindly took her in when her mother abandoned them both. As an adult Glitzi does eventually reach out and reconnect with her mother, but the connection is shaky. Suri would much rather play the part of Glitzi's youthful BFF than be a mom, and will ditch her daughter the second she starts wanting to "talk about feelings" and "ask for advice" and "cry because she feels unloved". Blah blah blah, Glitzi, don't you know you're killing Suri's good mood? The whole point of ditching you the first time was to put an end to the tears and snot, so like, be a little considerate, hm'kay? Rude.

4.) I wonder if Glitzi, for all her general airheadedness, might actually be quite good at business and bookkeeping, having perhaps learned the skills as an avenue of bonding with her dad. Didn't work. For this reason, Glitzi is very jealous and very spiteful toward Jam Sandwich, Gladmane's business associate and obvious favorite. Jam doesn't know why Glitzi is always such a stone-cold bitch to her, but she's always up for some smack-talk!

note on "sugar britches": for those of y'all not in the know, it's a term of endearment for one's girlfriend/wife/mistress, or a way of saying someone has a sweet ass. Gladmane obviously has no such inappropriate feelings toward his daughter, but the guy does have some difficulties viewing women as anything more than sexual objects. Combine that with his disdain for his daughter (whom he views as an annoying parasite, much like her long-fled mother), and most of his "fond" nicknames for Glitzi end up having this sort of backhanded, demeaning slant to them. Glitzi takes it all in stride.....or at least is good at pretending to.


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© 2020 Lopoddity
anonymous's avatar
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KingJSA's avatar

Is it bad I thought she was a pig for a second?

slayerfan45's avatar

I likes em thicc. And the Batman reference is much appreciated

AloeDreams's avatar

Wow she looks just like my boss! If my boss was a country singer and not a country vet lol

Lopoddity's avatar

gosh that's pathetic bro

GraceTheAuthor's avatar

Give that baby some love dammit!

CoUmbi's avatar

OMG I love Glitzi so much!!! I just wanna hold her and strangle her piece of shit parents!

I love all of your stuff Lop! I've been a fan of you for years and every piece of artwork or story telling is better than the last. I don't know how you do it!

Petlover152's avatar

Glitzi is honestly so beautiful and I like her way more than I thought I would.

Chordata-Flyer's avatar
Man I've been following you for like two years and I absolutely love the progress you've made with your artwork and your storytelling you improve my inspirations grow and evolve in the same way I do it kind of shows that no matter how good you are you can keep growing and get better and you're definitely one of those who does that very quickly. Anyway love your art can't wait to see more have a good day hope things are going well in all this covid crud!
DragonmanX-90's avatar

My sympathy for this cutie is immense, and my disdain for Gladmane and Suri reach heights equal to Everest.

ToastyBrain's avatar

So, they dated? That makes me wonder what kind of relationship they had, the dynamics, or WHAT drew them to each other to date amd lead to the eventual breakup? Do you have notes on this too, Lop? If not that's fine, but I would love to see you explore this a bit more in the future.

PokemonTrainerMax's avatar

I really like how you've reimagined your original version of Gladys into Glitzi! Basing her off Dolly Parton to parallel Gladmane being based off Elvis is genius! :D I really like how she tries to be friendly and kind, but since she never had good role models for showing that, she comes across as shallow and insincere in her actions, ending up acting a lot like her father's fake cordiality. Her relationships with Magnolia and Jam are both interesting, how she kinda sees her and Maggie as friends even though Maggie can't really stand her (the Harley Quinn line fits her so well ;P), while hating Jam even though she and Jam would probably get along swimmingly if not for Glitzi being jealous of Jam being favored by her father. Looking forward to seeing more of her!

Dashie1214's avatar
damn. abandoned by her mother and isn’t loved by her father..can i be her mom even tho i’m 17
Artmusicdonatella132's avatar
*BI PANICS* ma'am...😳💗
pennyplease3170's avatar

I love this concept. I also love characters that are technically dumb but are also incredibly proficient at the same time?

RileyAV's avatar

i adore her and her big big hair and i love her glittery dress omg

galaxychilde's avatar

ok but i kind of love her unironically thank you for the food

Kaleysia's avatar

Ha, I thought her design was inspired by Sylvia Fine from The Nanny, because big hair, big body and skin tight outfits. She seems like a younger version of her :)

Blackmoonlily's avatar

What has me thinking is her nose and hooves. In this she has cloven hooves, two toes. Horses/Ponies have a singular toe per foot. Horses/Ponies also have a mild 'point' to their nose and nostrils abit back. Cows have 'flatter' noses. Makes me wonder if she's part cow! :D

Lopoddity's avatar

Unicorns in my story have cloven hooves. Glitzi has distant unicorn blood in her family line, hence the hooves. It's just not possible for cattle and ponies to interbreed in my verse, not unless there's strong magic involved.

Blackmoonlily's avatar

Awwwwwwww. Yes that explains a fair bit then.

sapphiccherry17's avatar

I love the Harley Quinn reference and I love Glitz sm! I love everytime you make a new character they are always so amazing and have such a great story to them! I also love her new design a lot better than her other one in my opinion

SerendipitousPosts's avatar

I get the impression that if she and Pinkie were to ever meet, they'd hit it off, especially since Glitzi likes to bake treats for her friends.

anonymous's avatar
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